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nonny2t
10-28-2011, 10:18 AM
I got a text from a family member with pictures on two hats her dd wants me to knit for her. Well, frankly since this is the third thing I have done for her and not gotten paid even for the yarn, though they agreed to send me the money for the yarn at least, I was leery to do another project for her. I said ok, but that she would have to wait until after Thanksgiving because I still had Christmas knitting to finish, and spent 45 minutes looking for patterns that came close to the two slouch hats she wanted and emailed the whole thing to her mom along with a request she pick out which ones she wanted, what colors she wanted then I would look and find yarn in the colors and let them know how much it would cost and she could send me the money and then I would order it. (I'm only a dummy so much! lol) I was going to tell her that I would send her the info and she could order the yarn and have it shipped to me directly, but then I decided after two times getting stiffed, family or not, I was not going to do it for free even if I didn't charge her but a few bucks. Well, I texted her that I emailed her all the info and she said she got the text and email, would contact her dd and get back to me asap. She must not have read the email before she sent me the message because about 5 minutes later I got a text saying to forget it she would just buy her one. I just said ok and left it at that. Believe me, I have plenty of knitting to keep me busy I am not crying over doing work no one even appreciates or pay for even the supplies but I spent my time looking up patterns and so it irked me a bit. They owe me nearly $100 in yarn costs alone as I used high quality yarn to do the handbag and messenger bag this girl just had to have when she was in high school and she is in her second year of college so that tells you how long it has been. I hate doing stuff for family unless it is a gift because you end up with stuff like this. She is someone who is totally self absorbed and has raised her dd to be the same thinking people owe her something all the time. Sheesh!

Wanda Witch
10-28-2011, 01:48 PM
Gee, I'd be more than irked. Family or not that is a crummy thing to do. I am glad you did not go ahead and order yarn and be out even more money. Live and learn, I guess. We don't need that sort of inconsideration in our lives. There are too many deserving people out there.

Antares
10-28-2011, 03:44 PM
Yeah, I don't blame you for not falling for this again!

But if you ever do make her something else (even if she has paid in advance), just show her the finished object and say, "As soon as you pay me ALL the yarn money you owe me, you can have this!"

And if she refuses, I would keep the project (AND the money), wear it myself, or give it as a gift to someone else!

I don't knit or crochet for ANYONE who doesn't appreciate it! And if they THINK I should, then they can just go to you-know-where and warm their toes--family or not!

Lighting57
10-28-2011, 03:59 PM
I made my daughter a cabled newsboy cap last Christmas and her BIL wanted me to make 2 for him. He agreed to my price of $35.00 each which is cheap considering the time involved.

He wanted to know what was the best yarn to make them from. So I gave my daughter all of the information and instructed her to have HIM go to the certain store and select the certain color yarn he wanted and to buy 2 skeins for each hat and mail it to me. We live three hours apart.

I think he must have decided that it wasn't worth the effort or the total cost. I haven't heard anymore about it which suits me find. As it turns out, I would have been very pressed for time to make them anyway. Knitting under pressure is not enjoyable. Knitting is a hobby for me. I won't allow it to become a chore.

Jan in CA
10-28-2011, 06:10 PM
Yeah, I hate knitting under pressure. I don't usually even knit for the holidays. I wouldn't do anymore for them myself.

nonny2t
10-30-2011, 01:29 PM
The thing that gets me I guess is that I really love to knit and make things for family and her antics have taken all the joy out of it with regards to them. She and her husband make more than twice what my husband makes and yet she repeatedly stiffs me for projects. Heck, she still owes me for some stuff I paid for and shipped to her that had nothing to do with knitting. lol I always, always buy and make things for my two sisters for their birthdays, usually spending about $50 apiece on them. Well, for the last three years she can't even get me a card or call me or email me even on my birthday. This year when everyone was saying Happy Birthday on my facebook page she texted me and said she was sorry that she had been carrying around my birthday card in her purse for weeks and she would mail it right off. My birthday was Sept 28th!!!! Uhhh, she didn't mail it right off as I am still waiting for it. The other sister actually bought this adorable tshirt with a knitting saying and knitting balls on it. I could care less about the gift, but there is no thought if you have to lie that you even bought the card, and since how hard is it to mail something you already bought, I doubt she ever even bought the card in the first place. Ahh well, that's family for you. :)

Lighting57
10-30-2011, 02:51 PM
I learned the hard way that we teach people how to treat us. I had to acknowledge that what I had allowed in the past is way I was getting so in so in the present. I finally was able to learn to be upfront with people and not let them use me for a doormat. It isn't always pleasant, but we do have to draw a line in the sand sooner or later with some people and family can be the worst.

MrsPilgrim
10-30-2011, 07:39 PM
Amen to that Lightening!

I have a few family members, close ones, that I have nothing to do with because of their selfish, self serving, manipulative or dishonest behaviour. I have pointed out what they have done is wrong and hurtful, some have come back and appologised some havent, if they dont its no loss to me but the door is always open if they change their ways. If I have treated them as I would like to be treated, remained truthful, honest and fair, there are no regrets for letting them go. Blood is not thicker than water, I can either choose surround myself with wallys or good folk, I prefer the latter.

You did the right thing Noni, you set a boundry and stuck with it!

GrumpyGramma
11-01-2011, 12:14 AM
That's why I choose what I will knit or crochet. My DS wanted a crocheted blanket from me, for years I wouldn't make it because I didn't think he'd have it for more than a few days for one reason or another. Finally he seemed settled down enough and I made it for him. It was a bit pricey for me but it the time and love I put into it was what really mattered. A year later he told me he used it to keep warm all last winter.

Lighting57
11-01-2011, 08:27 AM
A year later he told me he used it to keep warm all last winter.

Isn't that just what you wanted to hear? You know that blanket has been well loved. I'd probably have to make him a spare one just because I know he appreciates it. :thumbsup:

GrumpyGramma
11-01-2011, 09:06 AM
The experience nonny2t is irked about, and I totally agree she has reason to be irked, is why he waited a long time for it. That's one heck of a big blanket, crocheted in basketweave in navy, very hard to see to work on. I think it would more than cover the top of a queen bed. It is nice to have people appreciate what we do.

Family is terrific. Terrifically great or terrifically awful.

Antares
11-01-2011, 11:11 PM
Soon after I met my husband's family, I decided to never knit or crochet an afghan for my MIL. She owns a beautifully crocheted afghan from a friend of hers, and the only way she ever uses it is for a cat bed! Now some of you love your cats and don't mind them sleeping all over your handiwork, but I'm NOT one of those people. If the only thing you can use my hard work for is a pet bed, then you don't need what I'm making--and you'll never get what I make either!!!

The other person who probably won't get much from me is my very own mom. I've made her a couple of things, and twice now she didn't really seem to like them until either someone else wanted it or she saw someone wearing a similar item. :gah:

Yeah, family--I love them dearly, but that doesn't mean I'm their doormat or their vending machine!

justplaincharlotte
11-09-2011, 03:38 AM
Antares, my mom is like yours in that respect. Though I am lucky enough to have had a MIL totally opposite yours. Mine was a dedicated knitter her whole life and we're fortunate enough to have several of her gorgeous aran patterned afghans.

Before I learned to knit by hand, I was a new machine knitter and made her an afghan. By that time she couldn't see (it was shortly before she passed away), but she went over the entire thing by touch, marveling at how even the stitches were and immensely pleased that I had made something for her.

When it comes to family, I've espoused an "it is what it is" philosophy, and treasure those jewels I've been fortunate to find.

ArtLady1981
11-09-2011, 06:10 AM
You should feel irked. You have every reason to feel irked. I feel irked just reading about it!

The next time you get a text, phone message or email from anyone in your family requesting knit-this-or-that (and you will!)...just ignore the text, phone message or email. If they happen to catch you on the phone, and ask about it, say WHAT TEXT? WHAT MESSAGE? WHAT EMAIL?

People like this don't deserve you. I know you love them, but love them by not knitting for them. They'll love you for it, and love themselves more because they're not using you.

The old saying goes, "Get walked on once, shame on them. Get walked on again, shame on me."

GrumpyGramma
12-15-2011, 09:51 PM
Maybe this is the pattern you need for those ingrates!

http://www.knitpicks.com/cfpatterns/pattern_display.cfm?ID=50822220&media=BE111212&elink21--GrumpyPattern&utm_source=media&utm_medium=bem&utm_campaign=BE111212

:woot: Love this one, we even have the same name. I think I'm going to make some up as jokes.

justplaincharlotte
12-16-2011, 10:27 PM
Maybe this is the pattern you need for those ingrates!

http://www.knitpicks.com/cfpatterns/pattern_display.cfm?ID=50822220&media=BE111212&elink21--GrumpyPattern&utm_source=media&utm_medium=bem&utm_campaign=BE111212

:woot: Love this one, we even have the same name. I think I'm going to make some up as jokes.


GG, that's an awesome little snarky pattern!!!! :cheering:

GrumpyGramma
12-16-2011, 10:59 PM
jpc, that was from the Knitpicks email today. They have snow people too. http://www.knitpicks.com/cfpatterns/pattern_display.cfm?ID=50709220&media=BE111212&elink=2--SnowmenPattern&utm_source=media&utm_medium=bem&utm_campaign=BE111212&utm_content=2--SnowmenPattern I'm having trouble getting that one to download. :(

salmonmac
12-18-2011, 10:33 AM
Wow, are you ever right to be irked. And I can think of much stronger ways to put it, too. In regard to handmade knit presents, I've learned that some people get it, and some don't. For the few who don't, I figure, never again.
You responded correctly and in a very tactful way. Maybe the message has finally gotten across..

N0obKnitter
12-18-2011, 02:13 PM
Some people are knit-worthy, some people aint.

justplaincharlotte
12-19-2011, 08:11 PM
jpc, that was from the Knitpicks email today. They have snow people too. http://www.knitpicks.com/cfpatterns/pattern_display.cfm?ID=50709220&media=BE111212&elink=2--SnowmenPattern&utm_source=media&utm_medium=bem&utm_campaign=BE111212&utm_content=2--SnowmenPattern I'm having trouble getting that one to download. :(


I'm so glad you read their email! I simply can't anymore, too much luscious yarn temptation and I resemble Betty Rubble & Wilma Flinstone going shopping - CHAAARGE IT!!! :teehee: I can't injure my debit card anymore this year at KnitPicks. Mercifully, NEXT year is almost here... :rofl:

Ellieblue
12-27-2011, 12:34 PM
In the future, why don't you find the pattern you would use and send the weight and yardage needed and have them pick out the yarn and send it to you.

Lighting57
12-27-2011, 03:00 PM
In the future, why don't you find the pattern you would use and send the weight and yardage needed and have them pick out the yarn and send it to you.

She might also tell them certain yarns to select from so they don't send a horrible one to work with.