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Luv2shopannie
09-24-2005, 06:10 PM
Hi everyone. I'm a new member here. I usually just read through the posts and see what everyone is talking about. I find it very useful and I can usually fine the answer.

But, I have something on my mind and I can't help feeling guilty!!!

My mom taught me how to knit when I was 12 years old. But I picked it up a few years ago when I started working near a yarn shop!! And you all should know what that would be like... to make it worse. The owner would give me 20% of my yarn. (SO IT"S ALL HER FAULT THAT I"M ADDICTED TO KNITTING NOW!!!)

My confession is... I lied to my husband the other night. I visited a yarn shop close to our house... and I purchased over $200 worth of yarn. I was so worried that he'd see it, that I asked the owner of that yarn shop if I can write the check in her name. Than if my husband sees it, I can just say it was a loan to a friend. And of course he saw it today online, and asked me. I told him it was a loan to my friend and she'll pay me back later.

GOSH..... I FEEL REALLY BAD. I don't have to hide my yarn because he's such a guy, and he can't tell if there's anything new in my big trunk anyway. He's such a good husband... he's usually very gracious about letting my buy yarn. But I'm not sure what he's reaction will be knowing that I spent $200 at one time!!!

I wanted to see if there are other women out there hiding secrets like this.... or am I the only quilty one??!!

Thanks for listening(reading).

Ingrid
09-24-2005, 06:15 PM
I know that I have bought more yarn than anyone in the house really realizes, but I have a credit card in my name so nobody else sees the statement. I'm always relieved when a package comes and I'm the only one home--not so much that I feel guilty, but because I don't want to hear the teasing.

And to be honest, $200 at one time is just the same as $20 ten times, right?

Sara
09-24-2005, 06:34 PM
If it weren't about the yarn, wouldn't it be something else? Shoes or books or some other hobby? At least you don't have a gambling habit. I feel guilty about money all the time. I'm the one who does all the bookwork, DH can probably only give a ballpark figure of how much he makes a year. He used to make me feel guilty about money, but we have reached an understanding. I threatened to make him handle all the bills and taxes, and he backed off immediately. :rollseyes:

KellyK
09-24-2005, 06:36 PM
My DH would be MUCH more upset that I loaned someone 200 bucks! :roflhard:

Ingrid
09-24-2005, 07:01 PM
You know Kelly, I think that would be the case here, too.

Luv2shopannie
09-24-2005, 07:08 PM
Thank you for your quick reply. I'm truly feeling much much better now. As far as what I told my husband... he's the type that doesn't think twice when it comes to helping a friend. So when I mentioned it was a loan, he didn't even think twice about it!!! But I promise (as the forum as my witness) I will not lie to him about money again. I'm not the one that keeps the books, so it's very hard to keep things on the DL.

I'll just have to visit my other yarn shop (where my friend gives me 20% off) and work out a payment plan with her!!!

aprildavis99
09-24-2005, 07:33 PM
I'm always relieved when a package comes and I'm the only one home--


I know exactly what u mean. I love packages..Like Christimas when the mailman or UPS guy shows up. :happydance: I just don't want to have to explain why I needed more yarn or another book to put on my "To Read" list :shock: . I shouldn't feel bad b/c he smokes and I don't whine about how much that costs :rollseyes: , and he's never complained either, but I can't help feeling funny. :oops:

But as I may have said before, all that yarn has a destiny to fulfill and it needs me (and u other knitters) to help fulfill that destiny. :thumbsup:

mintdee
09-24-2005, 07:36 PM
But as I may have said before, all that yarn has a destiny to fulfill and it needs me (and u other knitters) to help fulfill that destiny. :thumbsup:

Well when you put it THAT way... :thinking:
*where did I put that credit card

:rofling:

Ingrid
09-24-2005, 07:43 PM
I always have the recourse of "Well, I knit EVERY DAY, and I wear what I knit" or "I wear shoes EVERY DAY."

He knows its in reference to the basement full of tools, and the ham radio he just had to have which has never been hooked up. And the spare computer parts, and the models, etc. etc.

I always win that argument.

koolbreeze
09-24-2005, 07:47 PM
what are u going 2 do when he asks if your friend paid u back yet!?

thats one thing i don't worry about... i debate if i should buy it, but once i do i usually show him anyway. or he sees it and i play dumb! :D huh what yarn? the yarn fairy must have dropped by...

gimmesanity
09-24-2005, 07:53 PM
DH: Did you buy more yarn today?

Me: Yarn? What yarn?....oh, THAT yarn...nah, babe, I've been having that yarn just sitting around, silly. Why would I buy MORE yarn, especially when I have tons spilling out of the closet? C'mon now, gimme a little more credit, sheesh.

hehe.

mintdee
09-24-2005, 10:02 PM
Good grief that sounds like me :shock:



:roflhard: :roflhard:

Luv2shopannie
09-24-2005, 11:59 PM
Usually, he'll forget about the loan I made to my friends, or loans that he has made to his. I'll bring it up if he does, and say that she paid me back in cash. He's such a "friend", he usually won't remind me to remind them.

And I also love the way aprildavis99 described the yarn....And I also say... since you put it that way..... :D :cheering:

And yes, I did buy more yarn today. The husband was having a great day and allowed me to visit a yarn shop while he visited the booksotre up the street. He came to get me and even asked me if I wanted to buy anything. And of course, I jumped on that. I purchased the new colors from Rowen ribbon twist..... and he paid for them. What a great husband....he even said to me "... I can't wait to see the jacket you're going to make... I'm sure it'll look great."

Now that made me feel bad. NOTE TO SELF: DON'T LIE TO HUSBAND.

rebecca
09-25-2005, 10:06 AM
I am a very, very lucky wife in that my husband surprises me with knitting things all of the time and has no problem whatsoever about anything that I buy :D ! I do have the best :inlove: husband in the world that is constantly surprising me with gifts, too! He very much encourages my knitting bc it makes me happy and he knows that I truly enjoy doing it :D! Yep, bestest :inlove: man :inlove: in :inlove: the :inlove: world :inlove: !!

feministmama
09-26-2005, 12:22 AM
There are worse things to spend $200 on. Like crack.

brendajos
09-26-2005, 12:32 AM
There are worse things to spend $200 on. Like crack.


umm...and red heart! :fingerwag:



but just as a point of interest....isn't yarn almost the same as crack to most of us?

Jeremy
09-26-2005, 12:33 AM
I guess I'm in a different position in that I'm the husband and am the one buying knitting stuff. We've always taken the position that we're both adults and contribute in one way or another to the household. We don't withold info about stuff we've bought. I bet he would be more concerned about the lie than he would about the yarn. My guess is that if you were to amortize the amount of entertainment and/or value you got out of the yarn it would come way under what you would spend on paperbacks etc. (thats how I rationalize my yarn binges anyway :D )

punkhippiemom
09-26-2005, 04:19 AM
Erk.
I take care of the money, and I have a hard time buying anything for myself ... I spent $15 on yarn and bought my Boye interchangeables in the same week, and spent the next two obsessing on how that would have bought groceries for a week... DH would probably be amazed if I spent 200.00 on anything (besides bills) at one time... and take me to the doctors to make sure I hadn't lost it! :roflhard:

KnittinKitten
09-26-2005, 09:34 AM
I wish I could just forward this entire thread to my DH. He would see that I'm not alone in my behavior. I'm actually very lucky in that he understands my addiction. In fact, he spent hours on our recent vacation looking for new yarn shops for us to visit in Savannah, GA and Pawley's Island, SC. He did MapQuests for them and then drove all around and found them for me and would go into the shops and hang around (sometimes for over an hour) while I touched and purred over all the new yarns. I know he lives in fear that I'm going to knit him some outrageous hat from all the novelty yarns I bought!

:XX:

jodstr2
09-26-2005, 10:20 AM
I'm sure CV *reeeeeaally* wants to tell me to cool it with yarn spending and knitting book spending, but he bugged me for years to get myself a hobby, and now is happy that I'm doing this, and that I have a nice therapeutic "Jodi Time" activity just for me and only me.

it also helps me that our bank accounts and credit cards are separate. this wasn't intentional. out of laziness, we just never put them together. he doesn't see my statements. I don't hide my purchases from him, but I'm not exactly showing them to him either.

margie
09-26-2005, 12:24 PM
There are worse things to spend $200 on. Like crack.


I just said the same thing to my husband the other night!! He is very nice about my "habit"- he will joke about it with me, but he loves the fact that I'm having so much fun with this. HIS hobby is glassblowing, with is a lot more expensive than knitting, so he knows he doesn't have a whole lot of room to talk!! ;)

Joel
09-26-2005, 12:28 PM
OK.... there is no way I'm going to leave this one alone.

Seeing as my wife was crocheting LONG before I started knitting, I've been in a very similar situation. My wife has spent HUGE amounts of money on yarn, etc before. The only issue I would have had about your whole issue, is the actual lie.

Unless you are so strapped that you needed to use the $200 for bills, food ,etc, never did I go ballistic on my wife for spending that much at one time (and she has done it) on yarn. I teased her a little and only asked that she not buy yarn for at least a little while after the large purchases.

At this stage, the best I can say to this, is don't do it again (the lie that is). It sounds like you are remorseful about the issue. And for your own sake, hold off on buying more yarn for a while.

smiley
09-26-2005, 02:54 PM
Yes, I have lied about how much the yarn cost. If it cost $100, I'll say $50.

I do pretty good though, as I have a plan for each and every skein of yarn in my stash. :lol:

Now I've started my girls on knitting and hubby just shakes his head. After all, he buys more crap for his motorcycle than I knew existed !!

I also rarely buy unless on sale. I ran across the coolest yarn the other day at 50% off ! I bought 10 skeins and I'm almost finished with the sweater, I so love knitting with worthy yarn. It started at $16.40 a Skein........which to me is crazyiness ---------- unless 50% off ! :XX:

foldedbird
09-26-2005, 03:19 PM
I agree with Joel, here. I'd be more ticked about the lie than the dollar amount. I say come clean and apologize for the lie.

VickiIL
09-27-2005, 09:23 AM
My DH would be MUCH more upset that I loaned someone 200 bucks! :roflhard:

That's what I was thinking too.

MrsBear87
09-27-2005, 09:48 AM
This reminds me of something I did years ago -

We had been married only a few months when this happened. My huband is disabled, and had never owned a new vehicle. Our old van was in shambles, and we'd gone into debt to buy a brand new one. Ilsa, as we named her, was (and still is!) a white, 1991 VW Vanagon. She was the "other woman" in DH's life. Words cannot describe how he loved her.

About a month after we got her, I was in a parking garage and scraped her rear quarter panel against a pipe. It looked pretty bad. I was in tears, and did not want to diminish my state of perfect wife with the new status of Ilsa Cruncher.

So, I told a lie. I said that when I came back after running my errand, someone had dinged her. The insurance paid for the repairs, and life went on. But for 17 years, I felt like a liar. So, this year, I confessed. I tearfully told my tale of shame.

Blair's reaction? "Oh, honey, I guessed what happened. Don't ever be afraid to come to me and tell me the truth."

So, I would come clean. We are so often ashamed of being not perfect, or of being selfish, or whatever - but if your hubby is the guy he sounds like, he will not be mad at you or at the lie. He may not understand why you lied, but my guess is he will. We all have sides of ourself that we wish to hide. Yours is Yarn Lust. Well, you are in good company! Of all the things you could be guilty of, this is a small, small thing.

DotMom61
09-27-2005, 11:33 AM
It is no measure of mental health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

I *love* this quote!!!

And, I agree with those of you who say to fess up. If you have plans for all the yarn, then explain what the plans are. You could even offer to return the skeins that you can't use right away, and then buy them again when you actually need them.

Just seeing what your plans are -- are they gifts? Clothes for yourself? Some stuff for him? Whatever -- could be justification enough for the purchase.

And, like a lot of people here said, I would be more worried that my spouse was lying to me than what they were spending on something. I think I would wonder what else they had lied to me about.

Knitwise
09-28-2005, 05:30 PM
Tell him your friend paid you back with YARN! *open chest* hehehe I know, I'm sooo evil.

Knitwise
09-28-2005, 05:34 PM
All kidding aside, really you should tell him. My fiance is really good, I just tell him when I'm buying hobby products and he says sure. I hope he would tell me if he spent $200 on a bowling ball. =) I wouldn't mind if he did.

aprildavis99
09-29-2005, 12:00 AM
I got busted today...again.

I had ordered the novel Eragon. I love fantasy stories. Anyway, it arrived while my husband was at home. He knows I love to read and knit and crochet, and these things don't bother him. But I still had a hard time telling him what was in the box and looking him straight in the eye. :oops:

What causes this feeling of guilt!?! Especially when we know our spouses accept our hobbies.

lets say it together:

"WE ARE KNITTERS, AND PROUD OF IT...now hand me that ball of yarn!" :cheering: :cheering:

Knitwise
09-29-2005, 12:56 AM
Oh wow, someone from Rio Rancho, NM :roflhard: I'm from Albuquerque NM