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tigger0229
12-01-2005, 11:20 AM
This story has some bad language so don't read if this might bother you. I don't care for bad language myself, but the story itself is very funny, so I overlooked it.
Moving to Michigan:
>August 12
Moved to our new home in Michigan. It is so wonderful here; Lake Michigan is magnificent. Can hardly wait to see snow on the trees.
>October 14
Michigan is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning
shades of red and orange. Went for a drive through the forest near Lake Michigan and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly, they are the most wonderful animals on earth. Saw the sunset over the lake. This must be paradise. I love it here.
>November 11
Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a
gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here more each day!
>December 1
5:00 PM. It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one
we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by
the picture window, watching the snow flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was soooo beautiful!
>December 2
Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looked like a perfect
picture postcard. We went outside and had a snowball fight (I won). Later,
I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it. I did both our
driveway and our sidewalk. Later, a city snowplow came along and
accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again. What a beautiful place. I love Michigan.
>December 8
It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature has dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees and shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is now brownish gray.
>December 12
Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought studded snow tires for the car. Fell on my *** in the driveway, shoveling after the snowplow came through (for the third time that day). $145.00 to the chiropractor, but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected.
>December 13
More snow fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I
think the snow-plow hides around the curve and waits until I'm done
shoveling the driveway. *******!
>December 25
Merry Christmas. More snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives the snow-plow, I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the damn ice.
>December 27
More snow fell last night. Been inside for three days except for shoveling
out the driveway after that snow-plow goes through every time. Can't go
anywhere, car's stuck in a mountain of white. The weatherman says to expectanother 10" snow again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10" is?
>December 28
The weatherman had his head up his *** - we got 24" of snow this time. At
this rate, it won't melt before the summer. The snow-plow got stuck in the
road and that bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had broken six shovels already, shoveling all the snow he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one over his head. I couldn't
find my ice ax to finish him off - it was buried under a snowdrift!
>December 29
2 degrees outside. More snow. Not a tree or shrub on our property that
hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the flames out, butsuffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows. On the away home from the emergency room, I slid on the ice trying to miss a deer and almost put the car in Lake Michigan. Totaled the car anyway against an iceberg - yes, an iceberg in
Lake Michigan shoreline! I should have hit the damn deer and taken my
chances. Those damn beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed
them ALL last November.
>January 4
Damn snow it keeps coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the mailbox. Power still off. Toilet froze and part of the roof
has started to cave in. Tried to take a piss outside and ended up with a
dicksicle.
>January 7
Sixteen more inches of snow, sleet, ice and who knows what else fell last
night. I wounded the snowplow driver with the ice ax, but he got away.
Wife left me. Car won't start. I think I'm going snow blind. I can't move
my toes. Haven't seen the sun in weeks. More now predicted. Wind chill
MINUS 22 degrees.
>January 8
Moved back to Texas. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that God-forsaken state of Michigan.

Ingrid
12-01-2005, 11:57 AM
:rollseyes: I feel that way by January, too. :roflhard:

tigger0229
12-01-2005, 12:25 PM
oh boy, you do get lots of snow too don't you??

Jan in CA
12-01-2005, 02:40 PM
LOL I had to send this to my daughter. She's in Ann Arbor going to graduate school and this will be her first winter there. :shock: :roflhard:

KellyK
12-01-2005, 02:49 PM
OMGGGG :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

tigger0229
12-01-2005, 02:53 PM
someone sent this via email a few years ago and I kept it cause I thought it was so hilarious. you know, sort of like that movie with chevy chase and they move to that norman rockwell type setting....hehehehe
funny farm is the name I think.

BinkyKat
12-02-2005, 01:36 AM
Surprise Surprise... this story has also been done with ND references and it makes me laugh SOOOOOO hard every time!
I LOVE IT! :happydance:

Winter Rocks cuz it is a crazy conversation piece with my warm climate customers! :thumbsup:

Jenelle
12-02-2005, 01:46 AM
That story is sooo funny! Sounds like what I delt with whenever we lived in the country. It took about 6 hours to shovel our 700 yard driveway!(our snow blower was broken.... what else would you do if you had a ford tempo that had only two wheel drive and a jeep that had 4 wheel drive that barely worked? :rollseyes: )

kayeknit
12-02-2005, 08:55 AM
That was hilarious! Especially with winter coming. We don't get much snow in Kentucky, and the occasional snowstorm is enough to wreak havoc here. I cannot imagine living with that all winter long. I laughed so hard reading this, I choked on my morning tea, and my nose is still stinging! :roflhard: Thanks for the laughs!

nicolethegeek
12-02-2005, 10:58 AM
Surprise Surprise... this story has also been done with ND references and it makes me laugh SOOOOOO hard every time!
I LOVE IT!
Someone sent this to me a couple years back with it changed to Manitoba. I think anyone that lives in a snow-filled climate can relate though, and I HAVE to agree... it *is* hilarious!

Off to go find something to put on my feet... just got home from work and I'm freezing... BTW it's -20C here today, and about -30 with the windchill. :(

tigger0229
12-02-2005, 11:01 AM
nicole, brrrrrrr, you poor thing!!!!!
knit up some slippers right quick. hehehe

nicolethegeek
12-02-2005, 11:08 AM
nicole, brrrrrrr, you poor thing!!!!!
knit up some slippers right quick. hehehe

Oh I want to so badly! I've got two balls of RH Cozy Wool here I think, if not I definitely have some Patons Classic Merino. I know I bought some to make thicker socks for myself, but I want to make slippers with it/them instead. I just can't put down my other WIPs at all to whip some up. I don't even have time for my crocheted slippers, which I can get done in about 3-4 hours :crying:

MaryS
12-02-2005, 12:44 PM
Great Story! :roflhard: :roflhard:

I've lived in Michigan all my life, but in SE Michigan, NOT the Lake Michigan shoreline.

Snow is Beautiful when you're standing at the window sipping hot chocolate with a nice fire going behind you, Christmas carols playing on the radio, and snug, warm cloggies on your feet. :happydance: :happydance:

Otherwise - Santa can keep AAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLL the rest!!!!!

Happy Winter (if that's possible :?? :rollseyes: )

Mary