View Full Version : Fun with the MIL

01-17-2006, 03:21 PM
I know you all see the title and you think... hmm... fun with your mother-in-law doesn't really sound... well... fun. :?? :thinking:
I had a very funny thing happen yesterday. I posted it on my blog and I'm getting soo many comments on it, that I thought I would also post it here so you guys could have a good laugh as well.

My Knitting Gang

This is a picture of a kerchief I knit awhile ago. I tie it around my head and it looks like a very stylish knit bandana. I wear it very often. It makes me feel 'kicky'. lol
My daughter wasn't too hip on the whole 'mom wears a knit kerchief on her head', until she saw how it lookes, and then it of course received her stamp of approval.
In 2004 I married the best man ever! His mother is very Asian. She's very upset that I am not Asian... Chinese to be specific... but at this point she'll take any type of Asian. English isn't her best language. She doesn't understand most everything that people say to her in English. She just assumes that you are being mean to her specifically... because you aren't Asian. There isn't much fun to be had with my MIL. She came over this afternoon to bring my husband some good ole chinese food. Her first comment when she walked in the door was "your house actually looks clean this time. Not like all the other times I come over. It looks clean. Maybe it really is clean."
Great. Thank you. I've been disabled for nearly 2 years. This is the best I can do. Just for the record... my house isn't always a mess. I happen to have 2 dogs who love to play. I usually have dog toys all over the house.. and when my big dawg decides to eat the stuffing out of a toy I tend to leave it all over the floor until my husband can pick it up for me... as that particular movement really isn't possible for me.
So, today, as my daughter and I were getting ready to leave the house my MIL stopped by. It was wet and cold outside, so, of course, I grabbed my kerchief and threw it on my head. Must-be-warm! As I did so my daughter said "mom, must you always wear that?" to which I replied "of course! it's the colors of my knitting gang!!" My beloved child just looked at me and shook her head. Knowing that I had lost all my marbles long ago.
I grabbed my purse and headed to the door. Kissed the husband. Said goodbye to my MIL. Much to my delight, just seconds before I closed the door, I hear my MIL say "your wife's in a GANG?!!"
There are few moments which compare to that moment. Yes, I am in a gang. A gang of hardcore knitters. All knitters REPRESENT!! Fly your knit gang flag high!
My knittin' gang happens to wear a kerchief made of Lion Brand wool ease worsted weight in cranberry.
K on size 7 needles
CO 3 sts
Slip the first stitch as if to knit, knit to last stitch, kf&b (knit in front and in back of same st to increase 1 st.
Repeat this row until you have approx 100 sts or until the ends meet behind your head and you can tie it in a knot.
Bind off all sts.
Weave in ends.

01-17-2006, 03:47 PM
:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

01-17-2006, 04:09 PM
What an awesome story! :lol:

You realize of course that I'm going to want to join your gang, because with my dark hair I look fabulous in cranberry.

There aren't any, uh, hazing rituals involving Addis needles, are there? :oo:

01-17-2006, 04:54 PM
:roflhard: :roflhard:

01-17-2006, 05:11 PM
There aren't any, uh, hazing rituals involving Addis needles, are there? :oo:

:shock: I'm scared!

01-17-2006, 05:14 PM
I'm sad to say there is no hazing. :doh: I should have thought of that earlier!

01-17-2006, 05:20 PM
I will agree about the MIL thing. They never seemed to be satisfied. I guess it is because us wives have taken some of their thunder. I was definitely fascinated by the FUN with MIL title.

01-17-2006, 05:30 PM
I count myself lucky, I guess. In my MIL I have the mom I always wanted - my mom is more like an MIL to me. Ah the joys of being an ACOA.

Things I love about my MIL:

1. She is cheerful, easy going and loves playing hostess. She has many friends.

2. She is kind and generous, and loves her family.

3. She and I can have tangential conversations, and we not only keep up with each other we can run back and finish the tangents. This boggles the minds of her husband and her son (my husband).

4. She inspires me. It's hard to describe how this happens.

5. She makes me feel good about myself - in a motherly, I-truly-believe-in-your-inner-power way. This is something I never had growing up, and it is such a precious gift.

Back to the Knitting Gang though... is there a tattoo we have to get? What is the gang's official name, greeting, etc? And do I have to get a hog? Because I'm supremely uncoordinated and this may pose a problem at Bike Week. :oops:

01-18-2006, 08:25 AM

01-18-2006, 09:52 AM
:roflhard: :roflhard: I so get this

My mom had a wonderful MIL and she always said I hope that for you... well umm.. :shifty: DID NOT HAPPEN

01-18-2006, 10:35 AM
:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

01-18-2006, 11:04 AM
With all due respect to YOUR MIL...I would NEVER say such a thing to my DS regarding my DIL :roflhard: I know that she does the best she can with having a 2 year old in the house...along with my DS ;) I try to be one of those MILs who respects their marriage and learned a LONG TIME ago to keep my mouth closed about some things :roflhard:

I'm so glad to be part of your GANG :roflhard: Tell her that your GANG also has members who are 50+ and LOVIN' IT :happydance:


01-18-2006, 12:07 PM
Your title had me so curious. :?? I'm with you on the MIL thing. Mine loves to come over and rearrange my kitchen because her way makes more sense. :shock:

My DH recently told me that my MIL was 'raving' :shock: about how much the nieces and nephews loved their knitted blankets and that the kids liked them because I made each one their own colors and patterns. He said she raved. I have never heard her say anything nice about me, course she said it to him.

Thanks for the smile, though. Knitting gang. :roflhard:

01-18-2006, 12:08 PM
:roflhard: :roflhard:

01-18-2006, 12:08 PM
I have a great MIL :D . My DH has 4 sisters and a brother and they always joke that I am Mom's favorite :thumbsup:

If I told her I was in a knitting gang, she would ask "Where do I sign up?" (even though she doesn't knit, but used to crochet)

01-18-2006, 12:26 PM
Of course, I also consider myself to be very lucky in that our DS chose our DIL to be his DW and MOC...she has been the DD we never had and at times, we talk much more as friends than DS and I...hate to say it in a way...but she is natured quite a bit like me :roflhard: ...although, IMO, she's much sweeter and lots more patient than me ;)


01-18-2006, 12:33 PM
With all due respect to YOUR MIL...I would NEVER say such a thing to my DS regarding my DIL :roflhard: I know that she does the best she can with having a 2 year old in the house...along with my DS ;) I try to be one of those MILs who respects their marriage and learned a LONG TIME ago to keep my mouth closed about some things :roflhard:


Could you please be my MIL?! :lol:

01-18-2006, 12:49 PM
Would you buy me lots of yarn for Christmas, birthdays, etc.? :roflhard:


01-18-2006, 12:57 PM
yeah Joyce I want you as my MIL too :D. (I don't have one.)

01-18-2006, 01:04 PM
:thinking: Have I started something here...can I afford so many DILS?? :rofling:


01-18-2006, 03:28 PM
I tried really hard and I still try to be the best DIL. My MIL's main problem is my race and I can't change that. It has been really hard for me to accept that no matter how wonderful I am or how hard I try I'll never be respected by my MIL. Did I mention that I am trying very hard to teach her how to knit? With the language issues and the fact that she will outright tell me that I'm doing it wrong (hmm she doesn't know how to knit) it has been quite a ride. (you can read all about my MIL issues on my blog)
So, I'm going to put myself up for adoption. Anyone need a super good DIL? I knit, I crochet, I sew a bit. I cook wonderful Mexican foods. AND I'm house trained.
:cheering: :cheering: :cheering:

01-18-2006, 03:42 PM
YUMMM...I :heart: Mexican food...not quite as much as yarn...but you sound like a super DIL to me :lol:

Do not "try" to change yourself to suit anyone else...just be yourself and I'm sure she'll come around....if race is her issue with you...then, she does have a problem, but it isn't your problem...her son chose YOU...more than anything else though, I think that it is difficult for some MILs to let go of the fact that their "children" are now adults and must live with whatever decisions they choose in life...and they should really accept those decisions and if they make a mistake, they will know better the next time (hopefully), especially in matters of the heart.

I'll admit, sometimes we Mothers find it difficult to "let go" and let our "children" make some of those decisions...but if we want to allow our "children" to grow older and wiser, we must "let go" to a degree...which means, butting out of their marriages and only giving advice when asked ;) I don't know of anyone who is perfect...we all have our faults, so try not to allow her to cause you to feel "bad" about yourself ;)


01-19-2006, 05:00 PM
My husband has very thoughtfully invited my MiL over to clean my house. Because she called him when I was asleep and he said yeah, that would be great!
Does anyone else think... no , that's not so great. ?

01-19-2006, 07:23 PM
Uh ... no ... that's not great, given her attitude.

I was wondering: Is your MIL any different with other people, or is she just generally a PITA? It certainly sounds like she's probably not all that easy for ANYONE to get along with. However, she *does* have a high entertainment value for the rest of us. :thumbsup:

Hang in there and just keep being the dutiful DIL ... perhaps someday she'll come around!

( For the record: I have one of the best MILs in the world. I've told my husband many times that I married him for his mother. ;-) )

01-19-2006, 09:42 PM
I feel I'm teetering dangerously close to complete breakdown.

This post contains a racial slur which will offend the majority of mankind. It is part of a quote. It pained me to even type it, but it explains a lot. I was sheltered from that type of talk when I was growing up, and have never had friends who use those types of words which are completely inappropriate. I accept any mods decision to edit it

Upon first meeting my MIL people think shes so great and amazing and fun to be around... because she's drunk, tells stories, and laughs all the time. She isn't drunk all the time, and has really cut back in the last year since she found out she's diabetic, but if people are visiting then she's drinking.. a lot. It's amazing how many people like a drunk 52 yo woman. As you can imagine, she isn't the easiest person to understand since she has a very thick accent, doesn't use words correctly, and doesn't organize her sentances like the rest of us. You get used to it, but it takes time. So when she's telling stories and laughing, other people just laugh too... until they figure out what she's talking about. Her favorite stories are about her son (my husband) and about how she used to beat him when he was younger and look how good he's turned out. This wasn't just a little spanking.. this is "I threw him on the floor and started kicking him in the head, in the stomach, and anywhere I could kick him... people were yelling at me to stop beating him, but I wouldn't stop" laugh laugh laugh laugh. This particular story I hear all the time is about my DH when he was 4 years old. And that was a good day. Another favorite story is when she kicked him out of the house when he was 11 so she could go to Taiwan. (her husband was home, but couldn't be bothered with the kid) So he had to steal food from grocery stores and try to find places to stay. And she laughs and laughs about it... hysterically.
My parents have met and spent quite a bit of time with my in-laws, and my mother has said that my MIL has never said single nice word anytime my mother has spoken with her... if anything she's been outright rude. At our wedding (quick courthouse wedding) my parents wanted to take us out to dinner afterwards as a little wedding gift with my sister and her husband. My family brought us gifts which we opened at the restaurant. My husband invited his parent's along if they wanted. My MIL is telling my mother about how she beat her son, and he's good to her now, buys her stuff, etc. It was embarrassing. Then the checks came from the waiter and MIL announced "give it to my son, he's paying for myhusband and myself"... at out wedding dinner!! Then my father paid for everyone else's dinner, and we paid for MIL and husband's dinner.
When we got home afterwards MIL was sooo peeeved... she busted in and declared "you tell them I"m not a j*w!" I had no idea what that meant, and when I found out I was even less happy with her. She was upset that I didn't tell her that my parents would buy us gifts AND dinner, and this whole thing makes her look bad (actually she used the same slur as above). I told her how completely inapproprate that type of comment was, which made her laugh laugh laugh at me, and then get more pissed that I made her look bad in front of my parents. So, she said "call your mother and tell her I'm buying you guys something better".
This is my life with my MIL who lives 4 blocks away and has to drive by my house every time she goes to visit her sister.

01-20-2006, 01:39 AM
Ah, so I was right.

And, OMgosh ... I'm so sorry about the flippant "entertainment value" comment. :doh: I'm an idiot.

Big major hug to you, Joyce.

How old did you say she was?

01-20-2006, 03:48 AM
She's 52 or 53.
She does have a certain entertainment value... like trying to explain to me today why she had to yell at her doctor ...because he asks too many questions about her health....


01-20-2006, 02:02 PM
She's 52 or 53.
She does have a certain entertainment value... like trying to explain to me today why she had to yell at her doctor ...because he asks too many questions about her health....


:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

I can only imagine the comments that must be made when she leaves a place. :doh:

01-20-2006, 02:33 PM
I can somewhat understand what you are going through. My MIL is also not entirely friendly, although not to the extreme of yours. We also have a cultural issue. My husband's family is christian and mine is not. The funny thing is, my husband actually has NO religion, if you ask him. My MIL sends us things all the time. Jesus coffee mugs, nativity scenes at Christmas. Yes we celebrate Christmas and Hannukah, but in a cultural, not religious way. But the best one ever was when she decided that her son REALLY needed to get religion. She was desperate. So she sent us what she thought was a menorah. I guess she figured, better Jewish than nothing! Well I looked at it for the longest time. Couldn't figure out quite what was wrong. Until I counted the candles. Seven. Seven? Yes, Seven. It was not a Menorah at all, but a candle holder for Kwanzaa. So now we do Christmas, Hannukah and Kwanzaa celebrations.

Anyway, I found a way to come to peace with my MIL. I thought to myself one day: my husband is a good man, a good father and a wonderful husband. It isn't an accident that he turned out that way. For whatever things I despise (yes despise sometimes) about my MIL, she is the woman that raised my husband. So she must have something inside her that is wonderful and precious. I'll let you know when I find it. :lol: