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misstialouise
05-31-2006, 07:00 PM
Hi everyone.

One reason I love these forums is I know I can always come here for support, or to be kicked in the head when necessary... today I think I need a little of both.

This Saturday marks our 1/2 way pregnancy point. And I'm starting to allow myself to get excited about our little Rohan. It's been hard to 'let myself go' in regards to this, due to losing our little Dragonfly last year. But now that I'm feeling him moving, kicking and generally making me uncomfortable, and after seeing him on Monday, sucking his thumb and being way too cute, I'm really getting excited about being a mum.

However, there's just so much 'else' going on around me, that I just don't feel like my family & friends are excited for me/us. Even my husband seems to be in his own world, and only gooey over Rohan when I stick my tummy in his face. One of my girlfriends I know is truly chuffed, as she's organising my baby shower (now for September... she's keen as mustard). I know everyone has their own things on, their own lives etc... but even on another forum, where there is a specified baby section, my posts seem to get overlooked, very few comments are left etc...

I don't know.. I guess I am just feeling like I am the only one excited about my son right now... I know I'm probably not... I just feel a little isolated, I guess...

Anyway.. this was just a rant... I'm sure it's hormonal, and I'll be fine in an hour or so...

Thanks for reading... :heart:

Ingrid
05-31-2006, 07:28 PM
Aaaw! Hugs!

I don't think men in particular realize what an event pregnancy is for us women. They don't have the same hormones controlling their minds and aren't reminded about the pregnancy everytime they bend over. I suspect that when you get big enough for him to see the baby moving, he'll be more excited. Remember, though, nobody will ever be as excited and focused on this pregnancy as you are. When you're in your last couple of months, strangers will be putting their hands on your belly, though, :rollseyes: and people will see you as 'more' pregnant.

Hormones are evil, mind-controlling monsters! :evil:

BinkyKat
05-31-2006, 07:30 PM
:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
We LOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUU, and Rohan 222222222
:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

Although I've never been pregnant, if it's any consolation... maybe those closer to you feel afraid to let go too. My thing has been to be careful not to mention anything about anyone else I heard that had problems during pregnancy when my SILs were pregnant.... kinda like avoiding talking about a loved one that passed away when perhaps they were missed terribly. I felt like that when my dad passed away, like no one cared when it was all over. My own godmother actually told me she thought I was "taking it too well." the day of his funeral. ????!!!! :evil:
I know she's lossed loved ones, but everyone is different. I was crushed and since he was the first truly close person I lost, I had know way of knowing how to feel. Like I cannot imagine what it's like to lose a baby because I don't know what it feels like to love the baby growing inside. I guess until my two SILs were pregnant, they are the closest babies I ever "knew" from day one and I sort of have a taste of how much you can love someone growing and waiting to be born.

I love the name you've picked for your little guy, very dashing!
Hugs and prayers that all continues to go well and that the excitement increases as your due date nears!
Again, we all love ya here, from all sides of the ocean!!
:cheering: :cheering: :cheering:
Jodie

misstialouise
05-31-2006, 07:33 PM
Thanks Ingrid.

As I said, I'm pretty sure this is just a hormonal slump, and I'll get over it pretty soon...

Hormones suck completely... But I smile every time I feel Rohan move...

I found the cutest little outfit to knit him too... I'm going to buy the cotton today to make it for him.. :D

Do y'all get Simply Knitting (UK mag) over there?

Ingrid
05-31-2006, 07:40 PM
It sounds familiar, though I haven't seen it. I think Binky has a good point, maybe people are being extra cautious about your pregnancy this time.

Jan in CA
05-31-2006, 07:44 PM
Remember, though, nobody will ever be as excited and focused on this pregnancy as you are. When you're in your last couple of months, strangers will be putting their hands on your belly, though, Rolling Eyes and people will see you as 'more' pregnant.

This is pretty much what I was going to say. It's more real for you because you can feel the baby and live with the hormones. As time goes on and the birthing day grows near your family will more than likely become excited for you.

:heart: Hugs to you!

BinkyKat
05-31-2006, 07:51 PM
I get Simply Knitting here at Barnes & Noble... it makes me feel all Englishy!
The latest issue had a free Debbie Bliss booklet of baby togs in it!


Gawd, why do people feel they can just reach out and touch a woman's belly when she's pregnant? :doh: Not that I have personal space issues... but you wouldn't do that any other time! You wouldn't put your hands on her chest and ask if she's gonna nurse! The first time I ever touched a pregnant woman was my SIL just last Oct., and I asked first, and I didn't get all feely and put my ear on her belly and junk.

;)

rebecca
05-31-2006, 07:54 PM
I'm sorry....we :heart: :inlove: :heart: :inlove: :heart: love you around here ;) I can remember experiencing about the same thing & it's as the others have said, no one can experience your pregnancy as you do, others aren't lucky enough to feel every movement (what a joyous feeling :D ) Your hubby will be VERY excited when he sees the baby moving, as Ingrid said. LOL, and people (strangers even :shock: )will want to feel your belly later on in your pregnancy...prepare ;)
Big hugs sent your way :thumbsup:

misstialouise
05-31-2006, 07:57 PM
I get Simply Knitting here at Barnes & Noble... it makes me feel all Englishy!
The latest issue had a free Debbie Bliss booklet of baby togs in it!


In the issue before that, there was a CUTE as little doggie onsie... :D I'm going to make that.. :D

Gawd, why do people feel they can just reach out and touch a woman's belly when she's pregnant? :doh: Not that I have personal space issues... but you wouldn't do that any other time! You wouldn't put your hands on her chest and ask if she's gonna nurse! The first time I ever touched a pregnant woman was my SIL just last Oct., and I asked first, and I didn't get all feely and put my ear on her belly and junk.

;)

This, I don't mind so much... as long as it's not a 100% stranger. I've already given my work colleagues and friends permission to rub the belly. I'm a pretty touchy feely person, so that doesn't bother me... I usually rub my belly constantly anyway.. :D Especially when Rohan's kicking.. he'll either kick where I'm rubbing, or settle down..

Something tells me he's going to be a lot of fun :D

Amber
05-31-2006, 10:55 PM
Awwww. (((hugs))) I know, pregnancy (and everything that follows) is so momentous, it a life-changing event, and I remember feeling sort-of isolated by everything I was experiencing. Even husbands/partners can't fully comprehend the pregnancy part, I don't think.

Maybe you could find a new moms' group or something -- I found the support of other mothers to be sooooo valuable!

mulene
06-01-2006, 04:35 AM
Do y'all get Simply Knitting (UK mag) over there?

I get it over here in the UK ;) (the last issue was a free circ needle and the June issue has a free knitting tote) but only just started to get it, so missed the debbie bliss and other free gifties!

I can't comment on the other, having never been pregnant but I agree with what Ingrid says - no one will take as much interest in it as you, as you feel it growing inside every second of every day. It is hard to imagine how wonderful and awesome that must feel for us "non"-baby people.

Where in Sydney are you out of curiosity. Sydney is my favourite City in the world and one of my brothers lives over there in Darlinghurst; he has been there 20 years and married a fab aussie woman =D

Vendie
06-01-2006, 07:59 AM
How are you feeling today Tia?? I hope that it this is just a minor hormonal slump for you. I have to agree with everyone - it has to be so different for the woman going through the pregnancy. Everyone else can get excited, but they don't get to truly bond with and gush over the baby until he has arrived. The mother on the other hand experiences the little things everyday and naturally feels more during the entire 9 months than everyone else. All the ups and downs! Day in and day out.

We :heart: you and we're all very excited for you Tia!! (And I didn't get a chance to tell you before, I adore his name! Love it!)

njknitter
06-01-2006, 08:25 AM
Ahhh, hormones.... :evil:

I guess the only support I can offer is that there are ups as well as downs! It is a wonderful joyride even with the occasional negatives, so hang in there!!

Have you started nesting yet? I remember an urge to clean and organize my spice cabinet...like the baby would be rooting around in there??? Like I really cook anything anyway??? Thank goodness that DH cooks. It's been over 15 years since then and 12 since we moved out of that house, and I can still see the whole thing in my mind's eye.

Best wishes and I hope this is the worst you ever have to worry about!!!

Lynn

Pixywhispers
06-01-2006, 02:34 PM
Hey Tia!

Boy does that sound familiar. If we weren't on seprate continents I'd wonder if our dhs werent the same man. :)

I'm not sure why some guys are wired that way. It was very important to me to find friends (other then dh) to gush about the pregnancies with. I had two friends I wrote everyday and just wrote about the wonderous miracle inside me. They asked questions, cried, and laughed with me. Part of my affirmations in preperation for my labor I wrote down different things friends and online friends said to me so when I was down I could read them and know someone did care enough to type a line, or call and give me a good wish, prayer, etc. This is still healing to me.

Dh is finally learning that I need compliments, so after 14 years of marriage he has started saying the good things he thinks. heh.

My dh is the best provider, lets me do practically anything my heart desires but is pretty clueless when it comes to romance of any kind. I am learning that the freedom and over abundance of kindness is his idea of showing his love for me. Geeze did I get off topic. So when I get upset about what a guy he is being, I try to focus on the good stuff. Cause he can't be perfect. And I can't either, so I can cut him some slack in this area.

And Tia, I want you to know I am very excited about your baby! I pray for him and you everyday. He's so blessed to have a Momma like you.

misstialouise
06-01-2006, 04:30 PM
Where in Sydney are you out of curiosity. Sydney is my favourite City in the world and one of my brothers lives over there in Darlinghurst; he has been there 20 years and married a fab aussie woman =D
I'm about a 10 minute drive west of where your brother is.. :D Darlinghurst is a lovely part of Sydney :D

How are you feeling today Tia?? I hope that it this is just a minor hormonal slump for you. I have to agree with everyone - it has to be so different for the woman going through the pregnancy. Everyone else can get excited, but they don't get to truly bond with and gush over the baby until he has arrived. The mother on the other hand experiences the little things everyday and naturally feels more during the entire 9 months than everyone else. All the ups and downs! Day in and day out.
I had a good talk to DH last night.. he understands, and he acknowledged that he hasn't been as 'into' this pregnancy, and he apologised...

We :heart: you and we're all very excited for you Tia!! (And I didn't get a chance to tell you before, I adore his name! Love it!)
Thanks hon... ;)

Have you started nesting yet?
Just starting to, actually. I've actually had URGES to do housework.. it's sick!!! hehe.. I've actually got my mum coming over tomorrow to help me with some of the stuff that *I* want to do while DH is out for most of the day. Like totally clean out the kitchen... Mum is great at housework.. I tend to get distracted.. ;)

BUT .. guess what we did yesterday... BOUGHT NURSERY FURNITURE!!! It gets delivered in about 7 weeks. I'm very excited.

mulene
06-01-2006, 09:24 PM
YAY you sound on much better form today =D Glad to hear it and the furniture ordering for nursery must have been fun =D You can fly to England and do some cleaning at my place if you want :rofling:

Hrmm WHERE exactly West of Darlinghurst are you!? =D I lived there for a year too, but when my visa ran out and I wasn't a plumber or tradeswoman of any kind they wouldn't let me stay *sniff* Hoping to go back to visit again next year - I'll be hitting you up for where the good yarn stores are :rofling:

I do like Darlinghurst, they live pretty close to St Vinnies Hospital. When I stayed of course I spent time staying in the heart of Kings Cross =P Has to be done just once or twice in ones life. Spent time living in Kogarah too and got to see Paul Kelly live at Cronulla Leagues club!

Robin R
06-01-2006, 09:37 PM
Hi Tia! I know that I am new here, but I wanted to offer you some encouragement and support. :heart: :heart: You and wee Rohan are very special! :D It does often seem that others aren't quite as compassionate and understanding right when we need them to be. Believe me, I know. I am so glad that you have your good friend who is organising your baby shower! :cheering: What a wonderful thing for her to do.

I hope you are feeling much much better now. ((BIG HUGS!!))

Sorry if I have missed it somewhere, but are you knitting some things for Rohan yet? :mrgreen:

misstialouise
06-01-2006, 09:37 PM
Hrmm WHERE exactly West of Darlinghurst are you!? =D

Not sure if any of these suburb names will mean anythign to you... ;)

Drummoyne
Abbotsford
Chiswick
Five Dock

We're sort of in the middle...

misstialouise
06-01-2006, 09:44 PM
Sorry if I have missed it somewhere, but are you knitting some things for Rohan yet? :mrgreen:

Hi Robin, and thanks :D

I've tried to.. but knitting so far has done nothing but made me feel nauseous.. :(

I have things *planned* .. and I'm hoping to get them at least STARTED before Rohan arrives.. :D

BinkyKat
06-01-2006, 11:05 PM
:thinking:
So, my biggest question ever since I "met" you Misstialouise is.... WHEN are we gonna see your face! I can't tell if that snood is the back of your head or not!

What gives! ;)

I would love to visit Australia. This sounds so dorky, but I am so in utter love with Hugh Jackman.... I love an Australian, English, or Scottish accent. I get a weird kick out of watching Craig Ferguson's talk show (he's Scottish & used to be on the Drew Cary Show).

Glad to hear you're doing well... Sometimes I wonder if my DH would ever be interested in pregnancy stuff. He hold's our nephew like he's a dirty diaper. But my BIL (the neph's dad) said he did to with other people's baby's until he had his own. I actually think he is more hands on with Cameron than my SIL is! :roflhard: Heck, she carried him for 9 months, he's 7 months old now, so dad has 2 left to go...

misstialouise
06-01-2006, 11:41 PM
[quote="BinkyKat"]:thinking: So, my biggest question ever since I "met" you Misstialouise is.... WHEN are we gonna see your face! I can't tell if that snood is the back of your head or not!

What gives! ;) [quote]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA... all part of my evil plan for world domination!!!

;)

Yes, the snood IS on my head.. ;)

I should mention.. I've lost over 10kgs since this pic was taken.

Shandeh
06-01-2006, 11:59 PM
Congratulations on your pregnancy and your recent weight loss!

:thumbsup:

Don't fret that others are not thinking about your baby. He's YOUR baby, and he always will be. You are the one he needs to be on his side, more than all the others. So, things are as they should be.

Enjoy the benefits of pregnancy - eat what you want, demand your way, ask for pampering....and blame it all on the pregnancy!

By the way, enjoy the pampering while you can get it. When I was pregnant, people always held doors for me. As soon as the baby was born, it never happened again! :(

BinkyKat
06-02-2006, 12:18 AM
OMG!
Before I even read the rest of your post I thought... "Holy! Her DH looks like Michael Buble!"
I love him too! My most fave music to listen too, and knit too!
10KG! What is that...like 200 lbs!
I so need to get on a diet. I wouldn't mind getting pregnant that this stage of my life but I feel like I'm too heavy.
And besides, my silly mother thinks I shouldn't bother since I'm 37... what does she know?

misstialouise
06-02-2006, 12:38 AM
OMG!
Before I even read the rest of your post I thought... "Holy! Her DH looks like Michael Buble!"
I love him too! My most fave music to listen too, and knit too!
10KG! What is that...like 200 lbs!
I so need to get on a diet. I wouldn't mind getting pregnant that this stage of my life but I feel like I'm too heavy.
And besides, my silly mother thinks I shouldn't bother since I'm 37... what does she know?
LOL!

No, it's about 22 lbs.. sounds like more when you put it that way.. LOL..

It's not about diets hon... it never has been... I'm currently helping a friend with her 'eating habits' and she's feeling so good about it... :D Gives me a bit of a buzz too...

Yes.. Michael is a bit dreamy.. :D Gave me a kiss he did... not long after that photo actually.. <drool>

;)

Jan in CA
06-02-2006, 12:45 AM
Tia! You are adorable! You need to put that pic as your avatar!

misstialouise
06-02-2006, 12:52 AM
Tia! You are adorable! You need to put that pic as your avatar!

Aww.. aren't you sweet???

:D I'll take a better more recent one... me at 22lbs lighter with a HUGE belly.. LMAO

mulene
06-02-2006, 08:39 AM
Not sure if any of these suburb names will mean anythign to you... ;)

Drummoyne
Abbotsford
Chiswick
Five Dock

We're sort of in the middle...

Very much so!! My brother Originally lived in Abbotsford when he first went over. I stayed there for a couple of months before moving on myself. Used to get the bus from Abbotsford into town and shop in Five Dock! The bus went through all those places on the way ahhhh sweet memories! =D

mulene
06-02-2006, 08:48 AM
and WOAH! Michael Boble! He's super cool also a fave of mine - is that an access all areas pass you have round your neck there? ;)

Great Photo and you look fab. Well done on the weight thing - am in the same boat currently altering eating habits. It's hard but worth it!

Hope you continue to feel better and that the nausea while knitting goes away soon :)

roxtarchic
06-02-2006, 12:22 PM
Tia... i agree w/Jan you should DEF make that your aviatar... heheh
and i'm so excited for you w/your pregnancy AND your hormones... i would LOVE to be in your position... really... my best wishes are yours

and binkycat... PLEASE dont listen to your mom... it's kinda like when my mom said "oh i have all these lovely handmade things saved in the attic waiting for grandchildren, they're probably disitigrated by now".. yeah THANX MAH... but she doesnt MEAN it to sound that way... (i dont think) heheheh... i'm sure your mom doesnt either... and 37's not too old, i'm bout a year younger & i cant WAIT for it to happen to me.... somday (soon) but not just now.... (kinda spooked myself there) hahah

:oops: :thumbsup: :heart:

Jeremy
06-03-2006, 11:24 PM
I was excited when my wife was pregnant but the world absolutely changed when my son was born. Right now, at least until your husband can feel the baby all the time, he's not as real to him as he is to you. :D

humblestumble
06-04-2006, 02:39 AM
Aw! I'm so happy for you, tia! That's such great news! And although I can't relate to feeling how you do about being pregnant, I can relate through other means...like being excited about expecting something in general, feeling like you're going to burst with joy, and then when you go to share the news with someone, it's hard to realize that they don't appreciate the news as much as you would want them to. Or the reaction isnt quite as extreme as you'd like. I know that feeling. It's similar, although, in a way, completely different, because my feelings are usually over things. However, I felt much like that when I received our puppy a few weeks ago. I was so excited and no one else was, not even the true recipient (my boyfriend, it was his birthday gift).

And that magazine sounds awesome. I dont think we get it here.

and michael buble sounds cool! I'd never heard of him before.. but for some reason I thought maybe the guy in your picture was famous, so I looked him up haha.

you're such a cutie pie! I always wondered what you looked like too! I always thought the snood was on your face :roflhard: took me forever one night i was staring at it til i finally realized it was the back of your head!

Cristy
06-04-2006, 11:32 AM
Tia...I'm pregnant too, only I"m in my 7th week. This is my second child (and my second husband for that matter) and dh seems a little hands off--he has his moments where he's very aware and does all the tummy kissing and all but he also doesn't think about it quite as much as I do...

My parents are weird people--when I told them I was pregnant w/ my dd, they didn't seem excited at all. A few months before I got pregnant this time I told me mom that dh was wanting a baby so when I told them I was pregnant, mom seemed excited but dad didn't. He actually said nothing and kind of walked away which really irritated me! Mom says he just has to let things sink in..... anyway...my parents don't seem very excited about this baby which I think is weird b/c everyone hated my ex and loves my dh...I guess maybe they'll be more excited when I look pregnant...since right now I don't. There's part of me that can't wait to get to where you are and then part of me that remembers how fat I was and thinks...thank God that'll be a while! LOL!

I hope you're hanging in there and feeling okay...I like the name you've picked out too...that'll be our big problem....we don't agree on names very well! :)

misstialouise
06-04-2006, 04:33 PM
Thanks everyone.

I am feeling much better now than I was a week ago.

And thank you for the compliments.. I don't think I'm that much of a cutie.. LOL .. but then.. If I did, I'd be a vain chook.. huh?

We're slowly accumulating all the nursery stuff.. we've chosen paint colours, and have most of the soft furnishings...

Rohan's a very mobile lad... I think he's going to be a very playful little boy :D

Jan in CA
06-04-2006, 04:41 PM
Take pics of your nursery when you can!

BTW..may I ask how you pronounce Rohan? I'm not sure how to say it in my head...Ro Han or Rowan?

ebrperk
06-04-2006, 07:22 PM
Tia--first congratulations on the pregnancy. It is a very exciting time and enjoy it as much as you can. There is nothing like the miracle of a child in your tummy!!!

My dh was the same way about not being very excited he said that it was because of the added stress of having "another mouth to feed". Parenting is a huge responsibility and he is probably just a little freaked out. At least my dh was. LOL Good luck with the new baby. Boys are sure and experience I am still learning about since Ben is only four months old. My other two children are girls.

misstialouise
06-04-2006, 07:46 PM
Rohan is pronounced

Roh-an

so a cross between roan and ro-han... very soft H.. no W sound.. :D

Jan in CA
06-04-2006, 07:49 PM
Ohhh Okay! Thanks for the info! I like that name!

cookworm
06-06-2006, 10:09 AM
misstialouise, sorry I just saw your post today (it's June 6). Somebody very close to me had two miscarriages, and when the third pregnancy came around, she was very scared to "get excited" about the pregnancy for fear that she'd lose this baby too. Her husband was very distant about the whole thing and didn't want her telling anyone about the pregnancy which made it hard for her...she wanted to tell somebody about it because she was both excited but fearful at the same time, and couldn't go to him about it (she did tell me about it, though ;) ) He finally became "okay" with the pregnancy when she was in about her eighth month, but before then, seemed almost superstituous about being happy and looking forward to the baby. Maybe that's what your husband is going through? I know my husband doesn't tell me what's on his mind half the time, and I'm always surprised to learn what he's been thinking about when he does share his thoughts with me. Maybe your husband is trying to be protective of your feelings because maybe he is a little bit scared and doesn't want to put a damper on your feelings? I don't know. As far as everybody else seeming like they're not happy about the baby, those closest to you may also feel a bit afraid for you with your previous loss. I can tell you that after having three babies, with each pregnancy, there were people that were kind of indifferent about it (my in-laws even), but I didn't let it get me down, and I don't think you should either. Every day that little baby is inside of you growing, moving, and just being is a real gift and a treasure, and I always felt like, "I don't care if anybody else is excited...I am excited!!!!" Your husband might also be a little bit nervous with a new baby coming because he may be nervous about how he will "fit in" once the baby comes. We've got three kids here and I think with each one, my husband was a little bit leery about that aspect so I don't think it's something that goes away even after the first baby. It's also hard to think about providing for another person, even if it's a dual income household, and the added responsibilities of parenting. For what it's worth, I am excited for you, and wish you all of the best!!! Keep all of us posted here on your progress!!! :heart:

cookworm
06-06-2006, 10:25 AM
And besides, my silly mother thinks I shouldn't bother since I'm 37... what does she know? BinkyKat, my mom had my sister "written off" for not already being married and having babies when she turned 23! :roflhard: My sister got married two years ago and had her first baby in April, and we're going to be 36 this year, so it's still "doable"...I can't believe there are two moms out there that think that you shouldn't bother having a baby in your 30's--I thought mine was the only one!