View Full Version : Poor grandmother....
My dh is manager for one of the Goodwill stores here in Maine. He came home Friday and told me this story. He was working one day last week and this woman (early thirties he figured) came in and donated a beautiful handmade knit afghan and lamp shade that her grandmother had made for her. Apparently she didn't like it. For my dh to say something is beautiful means that it really is, because he normally doesn't notice things. So they marked them separately, and I'm not sure what the individual prices were, but together the cost was $80. A couple days later the grandmother (who made the items) came in to go shopping and spotted the items that she had made for her granddaughter. She asked if she could have the items back, and he gave them to her, but can you imagine what that poor woman felt to walk into Goodwill and see the items that she made for her granddaughter? :crying:
07-31-2006, 11:50 AM
What a sad story, and what an inconsiderate granddaughter!!! We have this afghan that my husband's grandmother knit- I think she knit it for his mother, and we aquired it at some point. This thing is UGLY- I think it was probably made in the late 60's or early 70's. Brown, orange, yellow and avacado green. It looks horrible, but I would never get rid of it, because I know that his grandmother made it!
07-31-2006, 12:29 PM
That really sucks! I hope that grandmother lets her grandaughter know how much it hurt her to find what she made with love at Goodwill. And I hope she never bothers to make her anything, ever again.
07-31-2006, 12:45 PM
that's horrible!!! :evil: I coul never ever do that... I have a real problem with throwing away, giving away, using up, running out, etc things that people give me. I have note cards, lotions, candles, makeup, shampoo (lots of shampoo), chocolate long past gross, picture frames, string, buttons, pens, books, plastic dishes, games, clothing i will never ever wear because it's too big, too small, or just uuuuugly.... I have TONS nd TONS of stuff, and I just can't get rid of it if someone gave it to me. Do you have any idea of how many freaking music note coffee mugs I have from my students???? I think at last count I had 57. FIFTY SEVEN MUGS!!!!!!!!!!!! I broke one last year, and I felt HORRIBLE about it.
That woman needs her attitude adjusted.
:( Oh my goodness that is just awful. It amazes me how cold-hearted people can be, especially to their own family.
07-31-2006, 12:57 PM
I do hope grandma has that afghan on display at her house the next time her granddaughter comes over. Ya know I have an afghan in my house with those exact same ugly colors...Orange, brown, avocado, and yellow. I have had that thing every since i was a little girl and i can NOT imagine EVER getting rid of it. it is even made with RED HEART! (;) ) because that is what grandma always used. it is proudly displayed in my house with my other family treasures. that is one fear i have of making things for people that i love. i hate the idea that they won't love it as much as i do and stick it in a closet somewhere or even worse....give it to goodwill! :verysad:
07-31-2006, 01:07 PM
So sad :(
07-31-2006, 01:28 PM
Oh to be a fly on the wall when the granddaughter realizes what happened!
nadja la claire
07-31-2006, 01:30 PM
:mad: That's OUTRAGOUS!!! My goodness we have a truly ugly afghan that my late mother-in-law made for us that we keep out and use on cold winter nights, not out of guilt but because we know that it was made with love for us. I agree with brendajos, Grandma should have these items out when her most ungrateful granddaughter visits, although I wonder if this woman would even care. Obviously she was not trained properly. I hope my grandchildren would never do anything like that with something I've made for them.
Oh, I am so glad I wasn't alone in feeling horrible for the grandmother. I hope she does put them out when her granddaughter visits.
07-31-2006, 02:14 PM
Tell your husband to tell the grandmother I will gladly redraft her will for her to leave the granddaughter out :D :twisted:
07-31-2006, 02:28 PM
That is horrible! My heart would be so broken if the kids ever did that to me. :crying:
07-31-2006, 02:30 PM
Dumb girl!! I have the last quilt my grandmother made. While it isn't her best work and the colors wouldn't go in my home, I cherish it because it was made by her and I'll never have an opportunity to have another.
If she had been a little brighter, she might have packed it away for posterity. :?eyebrow:
07-31-2006, 02:35 PM
OMGoodness!!! How horribly atrocious!!!!! I absolutely treasure the quilt that my mom made me, I could NOT imagine someone giving away a handmade item....nevermind something that was made by a grandmother :shock: And then .... to walk in the store and find it.... I would be shattered :shock:
07-31-2006, 05:17 PM
That is just heartbreaking. I hope the grand-daughter gets hers. And Jeremy, I hope you get a call from the grandmother! :twisted:
07-31-2006, 06:27 PM
What a CAD!~~! :evil:
Do hope granddaughter sees it at grandma's next time she visits.
I am STILL using (though it's virtually in tatters) a blanket that mom made for me over 35 years ago! It's just so snuggly & soft!
07-31-2006, 06:44 PM
I'm sad for those two people. I wonder if their relationship was sour long before the first visit to Goodwill. That is a sad story.
07-31-2006, 09:19 PM
My mom goes to the open air markets in Phoenix and there's a lot of goodwill type booths and flea markets along with farmer's market tables etc. She has found soooo many good quality practically new baby clothes for my nephew and some with the original tags still on them. she has found some books and such that she has picked up and has come across a few that will have written in them "Happy 5th Birthday, Love Grandma" on them and it just breaks her heart. I can see stuff that you buy and can't keep forever, but if someone personalizes it... how can you get rid of it. I have about 10 "nice" pop up and heavy board books I got as a child from g'mas and g'pas that they wrote in. when i thought they had all disappeared in the many moves from home to college and through my parent's divorce, when my dad moved one last time and i got my own house and got back all my stuff and found those books... i wept for joy because these were books i learned to read with. I even have a little sorry lookin' little cone shaped christmas tree i made from construction paper for my neighbor lady (2nd mom) when I was about 8 that she gave back to me the christmas before she passed away from cancer. she asked me to never throw it away.. the sorry little thing is barely held together with tape and i will never EVER get rid of it because she loved it so much. i grew up with her daughters and they tell me she kept more of my handmade cards and silly things than of theirs (but they were glad because they all claim they had no talent...posh!). DH can let go of things like that, but even he has his g'ma's sugar shaker and protects it from any possibility of breakage (not allowed to set in on top of the stove's sort of shelfy area...)
Bad granddaughter...why to so many people under-appreciate a handmade item...so many people think it's a waste of time to make a blanket when buying one is cheaper. Brat! :rollseyes:
07-31-2006, 09:38 PM
I have quite a few of those "ugly" blankets. But you have to remember back in the 70's those were some cool colors. Nothing like, yellow, orange, brown and green together.
My kids love these blankets and sleep with them at night because it makes them feel closer to my Nana who passed two years ago.
I hope they always feel that way regardless of the color of the blanket.
07-31-2006, 09:54 PM
:shock: That's so awful!
As I've mentioned before, my mom is a master knitter...I have gobs of things (mostly sweaters) that she knit for me growing up, and there is no way I could get rid of them. Even though they're out of style, they are masterpieces! Most of them are in a plastic bin in storage, but I can't part with them...especially now that I'm a knitter and I can truly understand how much work went into them.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v486/j-m-h/smilies/hammerhead.gif to that granddaughter....
07-31-2006, 11:00 PM
What an awful granddaughter! I know that we all want her to feel horrible when she goes to her grandmother's house and see the afghan there, but you know what? If she was so heartless to get rid of it in the first place, it probably won't even feel guilty about it ('though I do hope she gets a nasty jolt in the pit of her stomach for seeing it.) :evil:
08-01-2006, 12:30 AM
Ditto--I'm with all of you. My mom crocheted afghans for her 3 kids and their kids and I've never gotten rid of ours, and if I ever thought my brother and his families were going to do that, I'd go over and pay them for the materials at least to rescue them!! That's just poor raising, pure poor raising! :rollseyes:
I keep everything that people give me, like Hildie :heart: I just am a sucker for things like that--old cards, letters, Christmas cards from special friends--I'm a nut, a packrat, but I do have a heart! :heart:
08-01-2006, 08:50 AM
aww thats so sad that the gd didn't have the connection to want to keep it... I have afghans from my grandmother and so do my kids.. could never get rid of them cause of the closeness it makes me feel to her.. I also have quilts from my grannie who passed and those are my most cherished items.. brings back memories and makes me feel close to her... I always worry when I knit for a gift if the person will understand the time and love it takes to make something.. or if it will be threw on the floor and walked on :lol: ... My family all does something either quilts or wood work something so I know they get it... but if I go outside the my family I start to have a panic attack and has to be ripped out of my hands :rofling:
08-01-2006, 09:37 AM
That is sad, horrible and totally mean. I can't believe someone would be so heartless as to put it into a goodwill store anyway but to put it into one that she lives near and is likely to pop into is even more horrendous!
What a horrible ungrateful grandchild I hope no one ever makes her anything personal again.
08-02-2006, 08:12 AM
That just makes me want to cry. What an blind granddaughter. I will gladly take the grandmother that she seems to value so little.
Jan in CA
08-02-2006, 04:56 PM
That is so very sad! :( I agree with everyone..I would never give something away that was made for me like that. And then to have the grandma find it is heartbreaking. :crying:
08-02-2006, 08:40 PM
Just another perspective here...
I've been on the receiving end of handmade gifts that I have little to no use for. Some of them have been quilts made by my grandmother. After keeping them in a box for several years, I finally decided that they could be put to real use by someone who really needs a warm blanket. So, I packed them all up and took them to my local woman's shelter. They were very appreciative and I felt good knowing that the blankets were serving the purpose that they were intended for. I don't think that makes me a horrible ungrateful person.
I am not defending the person described in the OP, but I definately can understand how someone may not understand all the work that goes into making a handmade item, nor does everyone consider a knitted/quilted item to be any more special than a store bought gift. I think there are some pretty harsh judgements here.
08-03-2006, 12:19 AM
I agree that if there's something you're not going to use and know of someone to whom it will make the difference between surviving another day or dying of frostbite, then I'd gladly give it away.
But I also worked at a thrift store for lil' over a year as just about everything I could: cashier, jewelry sorter, translator, stocker, etc etc....
I saw many middle aged people come in with boxes of things that belonged to either their grandparents or parents who had recently passed away and they didn't want their stuff. Most of the time they didn't even look through the things before they got donated. While sorting those boxes I found precious stones, solid gold and silver and even turn of the century family pictures.
I also saw people come in and donate handmade quilts, afghans, clothes, etc, w/o so much as a second glance to what they were throwing away. Yes, some of them were ugly....but handmade? I wouldn't get rid of it.
After having made my share of blankets for the family and having been on the receiving end of many more, I know how much work and love goes into one of them. And to see them thrown away........man..... :verysad: :help:
08-03-2006, 12:32 AM
It's one thing to donate to a shelter - It's another thing entirely to dump it at a Goodwill.
08-03-2006, 12:42 AM
well it should be said that Goodwill does very good work in the community but yes, most people do use it as a dumping ground as nearly any goodwill worker will likely tell you.
I love the fact that you gave to the shelter though! I do think we are all better when we do what we can to help people who need a hand.
I think the thing that struck me is imagining the look in my gramma's eyes if that had been her. :( I would like to think that my brother would have asked me if i wanted it before he got rid of it, but i couldn't guarantee it.
08-03-2006, 07:44 AM
I guess we have a difference of opinion. For me, it's not hard to understand that *some* people may not consider heirlooms or handmade gifts to be special. It doesn't mean that they are ungrateful or horrible people. In the end, things are things, everything eventually ends up in a landfill--it's the memories and feelings that are what's important.
I suppose I just found it interesting the harsh opinions rendered on people whom we do not know. We don't know the status of their relationship or why the afghan was given away.
08-03-2006, 09:18 AM
It's one thing to donate to a shelter - It's another thing entirely to dump it at a Goodwill.
This is pretty much my thoughts. Not just that but the thing that struck me the most is that it was a goodwill where the grandmother found them!
I have over the years received some truely hideous gifts the majority of which are store bought - those tend to either be recyled or donated for use by someone who would use it.
My ex fiance's mother was the worst at giving gifts. She would spend a fortune on complete and utter junk (she would budget say £100 or £200 per person for Christmas - and go to a £1 store and buy 100 or 200 things - she thought it better to have 100 or 200 gifts than one big one :rollseyes: ). One Christmas I got 4 (yes FOUR) of these hideous stuffed clowns that were stuffed with lavender pot pourri. Now if I were a clown fan or a lavender fan I might have appreciated it but Lavender makes me feel very very sick, and gives me close on to what could be called a migraine. I have always been this way - she knew it too, they had lavender all over their garden and when we went there for a BBQ once I was very ill due to the lavender being in high season.
They were recycled and given to my mother who likes and has no problem with Lavender. She used them to ward off moths in the wardrobes in the spare rooms ;)
I actually prefer to NOT get gifts and most people I know realise that. I will often ask that they donate to Cancer Research or Kidney research instead of buying me a gift or if they insist then a book voucher or store voucher is usually appreciated. Now I would tell people yarn or yarn vouchers too since my newly refreshed obsession with knitting ;)
If however, someone were to put work into making something personally I'd likely not throw it away, give it away or part with it for love nor money - even if I thought it was hideous. If I am ever in a situation where something is so hideous that I'd consider getting rid of it I would do my very best to find it a home that loves it and uses it.
Maybe my view of the grandaughter was harsh, maybe there was more to the story than met the eye - but the only story we know is the one told here and the story was horribly sad IMO.
This issue is complicated. I never gave away things both my grandmothers made for me. But I do understand that sometimes you really don't like something and when you live in a tiny appartment like I do, you just can't keep every ugly gift you are given. We pay a 100$/month storage on top of our rent, the storage is FULL of gifts people gave us over the past 10 years. We pay that because we feel bad throwing or giving things away, but now it's just getting ridiculous. These aren't gifts anymore, they're a burden!!! We do tell people NOT to give us ANY physical object unless we specifically ask for it. We ask them to give us food, tickets for a movie theatre, etc... or no gifts at all!!! We don't need gifts to appreciate and love both our families. But few people listen unfortunately. Anyways, I guess my point is, it IS a sad and heartbreaking story. But we do not know the granddaughter's situation.
08-03-2006, 01:25 PM
Even if you can't keep something, there are respectful ways of giving it away. IMO, giving it to a Goodwill where your family could FIND IT is not a respectful way. Donating to a charity, or heck, I know a few people who have frogged and reknit things that they didn't like. It's meant to be used and loved and appreciated - Not sit on a shelf in a store where somebody has to pay to have it. A gift given in love should always be given in love - Even if you're giving it away.
08-04-2006, 08:34 AM
that is SO sad :crying: It just goes to show you that people are so inconsiderate. I hope the grandmother proudly displays the afgan and lamp sometime when the woman goes to visit, and says something like "look at what I found will at the good will store"