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View Full Version : OT: Dogs vs. Cats


08-17-2006, 11:14 PM
I saw this on another website I frequent and thought you'd get a laugh, enjoy...


A Dog's Diary

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!

8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!

2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!

3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!

7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!

8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!

11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

A Cat's Diary

Day 183 of my captivity.

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs. :roflhard: :roflhard:

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. :teehee:

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait. :teehee:

It's only a matter of time.

Darcy
08-17-2006, 11:20 PM
I never knew my cat thought this way!

knitaddict
08-18-2006, 01:19 AM
:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

DragonTush
08-18-2006, 01:49 AM
:roflhard: may I steal that?

Jan in CA
08-18-2006, 01:54 AM
:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

Lieke
08-18-2006, 02:24 AM
:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard: :yay:

janelanespaintbrush
08-18-2006, 11:01 AM
I heard that a few years ago on Car Talk (NPR radio show). We still tease the kitty when we're eating something extra tasty in front of her. "Yes, we are once again dining on a sumptuous feast, and all you get is kibble!" (Actually she is quite spoiled, and it is not unusual for her to get steak or duck treats when we're having some. But it's fun to tease, even though it's primarily for our own entertainment.)

08-18-2006, 11:18 AM
:roflhard: may I steal that?

Go right ahead. I guess I technically borrowed it too. :teehee: :teehee:

cozy
08-18-2006, 12:13 PM
Too funny!! :rofl:

nadja la claire
08-18-2006, 01:29 PM
:cheering: :roflhard: :cheering: :roflhard: :cheering: I heard that episode of Car Talk too, but it still makes me laugh because it's so true, and I've always known that that's how our cat felt. Thanks for posting it.

Nadja xxx

CindyH
08-18-2006, 06:33 PM
:roflhard: hilarious!!

Jackie M.
08-18-2006, 09:27 PM
So why do we still love the cats? :??

janelanespaintbrush
08-19-2006, 12:11 PM
So why do we still love the cats? :??

Because we find their personalities amusing. Because they're potty-trained. Because they're cuddly and compact and can fit on our laps. Because they're immaculate and self-cleaning, and don't slobber on us. Because we love to hear them purr. It makes us feel appreciated and needed. And of course, because we looooooove to clean up hairballs!