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View Full Version : KH a "waste of time"


feministmama
08-23-2006, 09:38 AM
So I'm in Florida with my mum and my son. I'm on the laptop and you know the first place I went was KH. We're in the hotel having breakfast and my mother leans over to see what I'm doing. I tell her about KH and she says "Looks like a waste of time"

:pout: I am so hurt by that. If she doesn't like knitting or having friends or whatever her deal is then that's fine. But to say what I'm doing is a waste of time felt really hurtful. Am I wrong to feel this way?

Ingrid
08-23-2006, 09:48 AM
If I see someone watch NASCAR, I feel it's a waste of time. That doesn't mean they think it's a waste of time or that I'm right. It's just a waste of time for me.

So, for her, knitting and KH are a waste of time. For you, not. WE all know you're right!!

mulene
08-23-2006, 09:48 AM
To quote a song "you're myyyyhaiiiaiiiiaiiiii, you're my favourite waste of time"

We all "waste time" in whatever hobby or action we do - does she watch TV? Next time you catch her at that just say "that looks like a waste of time" or whatever it is she does. Every one of us "wastes time" with something. Some things are more of a waste of time than others - for instance for me, having to stop knitting to eat is a stupid waste of time (apart from my growling belly) since I want to be wasting that time knitting ;)

KH is the BEST waste of time =D I love it here, and I miss it horribly when I can't be here =D

Andrea
08-23-2006, 09:51 AM
Ingrid, wasn't there anything else you could have used as an example? :pout:

I agree though, people who don't knit just don't get it. And I feel sorry for them!! :wink:

brendajos
08-23-2006, 09:58 AM
I think it would have been the complete dismissal of something that I enjoy and that isn't causing ANYBODY any harm that would have gotten me. BUT of course she's Mom. My mother said to me the other day "I know I make you mad sometimes...." I just laughed at her and told her that of course she does. She's my mother and now that she got me through childhood alive that is her job! ;) As I heard a comedian say one time "The reason our parents are so good at pushing our buttons is because they installed them!" I am sure she wasn't trying to be hurtful but yeah... I would have been hurt too.

(and flabbergasted since my mother works very hard at enabling me!)

Chel
08-23-2006, 10:02 AM
I agree with Ingrid. Just because she doesn't care to knit doesn't mean she has the right to complain that you do.

And to waste is to use carelessly or needlessly. Knitting time can not be considered "a waste of time" as during that time, you are actually PRODUCING something. As far as KH being a waste of time, that is incorrect also as this forum is educational. I am sure we have all learned a lot from being here and feel comfortable asking questions. In fact I bet MANY of us here post a question before bothering to look it up in a book, or ask because the book instructions just don't help enough.

So... yeah KH is just as much a waste of time as say... College.

VictoiseC
08-23-2006, 10:10 AM
Hey Femimama, I'm so where you're at. The problem is they DON'T THINK before they speak. It's taken me days to recover from my dad leaving, I actually started a short story called My Dad's Visit. It's so easy to say, turn it into a joke when your mom says something like because it just hurts immediately, that they don't care enough to ask about it , respect it, whatever. Well, maybe she'll feel bad about saying it later... ya never know.
Good luck anyhoo.

brownishcoat
08-23-2006, 10:12 AM
I've learned about stuff that has nothing to do knitting, as well as the knitting education I'm receiving. And I may have done a little educating, too, and possibly on multiple topics.

We also help each other find the best quality knitting tools, yarn and equipment, and that service is invaluable.

This is a supportive community, which is nearly impossible to find in this format. Because of things I've read here, I went to see the chiropractor yesterday for the first time to get relief from my back pain. Doesn't sound like a waste of time to me.

I can certainly understand why you'd be hurt. I would be, too.

skNYC
08-23-2006, 10:22 AM
ditto with Ingrid. You are right and your mom was also right. It's to one's perspective. Don't feel hurt. Everybody is entitled to his or her opinions.

Pixywhispers
08-23-2006, 10:23 AM
Hey FM, I understand why you would be hurt. Ive often felt comments like that come out of ignorance. And sometimes come out of narcissism. What Im trying to say is, Ive never heard you talk about your mum, but it sounds like this is really about something deeper. :( BTDT, makes me sad.

Ingrid
08-23-2006, 10:32 AM
Ingrid, wasn't there anything else you could have used as an example? :pout:

I agree though, people who don't knit just don't get it. And I feel sorry for them!! :wink:

No, actually Andrea, I couldn't think of a bigger waste of time. :rofl: :rofl: Maybe Startrek. You know I love you!

PurlyGyrl
08-23-2006, 10:43 AM
Yep, its all relative. What's a waste of time to one is not to another. Still, it doesn't make it hurt any less when someone says something rude. I used to scrapbook alot and happened to mention at meeting that I scrapbook. One lady said "Well, my time is too valuable to glue pieces of paper to other pieces of paper." And everyone there agreed! :verysad:

janelanespaintbrush
08-23-2006, 10:46 AM
I think some people assume that anything involving the internet is a waste of time. I don't know your Mom, but it sounds like it was probably just a thoughtless comment. If she knew it would hurt your feelings, she probably wouldn't have said it.

knitaddict
08-23-2006, 11:33 AM
It could be an age thing, too. I know that my dad frequently lectures me (I may be in my 30's, but I'm still his "baby") about the dangers of message boards. I mention posting something on here and then get "the talk." When I discussed it with my mum and told her how much it bothered me, she told me "Honey, he's just old." :roflhard: :roflhard: Basically she said it's because it's something new and therefore uncomfortable to him so it's bad.

Does that make sense? I know it's helped me deal with the talk a lot better. :)

momwolf
08-23-2006, 11:55 AM
Hell no :grrr: Mothers can be so cruel sometimes. Just ignore her and enjoy what makes YOU happy.Heres a hug from us :grphug:

stitchwitch
08-23-2006, 12:18 PM
My mom will say stuff like that to get a reaction out of me, its like a game or something "see if you can hurt Lori". I ignore it or call her on it and it usually dies down but she'll soon find something else in my life to pick apart. I think somehow it makes her feel better to put me or my hobbies, etc. down.

AnreeAce
08-23-2006, 12:36 PM
Here, have another hug!

:grphug:

I'll chime in with many other folks here: what's a "waste of time" to some people is an afternoon well spent to many others (no matter what Ingrid thinks about NASCAR). I know why I come here several times a day when I get the chance, but when I try to explain it to other people in my life, their eyes glaze over and I can almost hear the :whoosh: noise...

I'm sorry your mom hurt your feelings, it sounds to me as though she set out to do it. You come waste your time with us any time!

More hugs!
:grphug:

Nikki
08-23-2006, 01:25 PM
Welcome back Femmy. Missed you. Is that vacation history now? Don't pay any attention to hurfull things people say to you, some people just gotta tear down.
Nikki

KellyK
08-23-2006, 01:38 PM
Let's just see what a "waste of time" she thinks it is when everyone BUT her gets a knitted gift for Christmas! Give HER a piece of COAL! :tap: Its too bad she cant be glad that you found something that is fulfilling for YOU. Obviously, nothing makes HER that happy. :!!!:

PurlyGyrl
08-23-2006, 02:08 PM
Or you could KNIT her a piece of COAL! :mrgreen:

CindyH
08-23-2006, 03:19 PM
I can understand the hurt feeling. I would be hurt too if someone said that about my knitting-related activities or crafts. But if my mom said that, I would be more tolerant of it, just because she's my mom and she thinks a lot of the things I do are a waste of time anyhow, or makes my eyes go bad. But if one of my friends/coworkers said something like that, I would be sooo offended, because like everyone else has said already, the definition of "a waste of time" is subjective. How I see it is, each person has hobbies they do that makes them happy, and who's place is it to judge? Exception would be if it was something that was detrimental to others or to the person doing it...(example: I have a friend who spends more times playing video games and collecting toys than looking for a job, and he definitely needs a job and a source of income!)

janie
08-23-2006, 04:44 PM
I'm sorry your mom hurt your feelings.

I think this is a wonderful forum...its not a waste of time, its actually very educational (for me) and unlike other forums, people are really nice here & helpful.

Sometimes we just need to let what other people say roll off our backs. Its kind of liking choosing your battles with your own children.

hugs

j

kitkat
08-23-2006, 05:16 PM
Sending hugs.

I know my mom will say the most appalling things - its like they don't think before they speak.....

jodstr2
08-23-2006, 05:31 PM
*hugs*
the concept of online communities is foreign to a lot of people. I've been the recipient of many a negative remark about hanging out in forums and reading blogs.

BinkyKat
08-23-2006, 08:34 PM
My mom, god lov'er, she can be the same way...
But my dad, rest his soul...as much as I KNOW he loved me, could just ruin a day with one sentence. When he was ill in the hospital for 7 months before he died...I would go to visit him every night and weekend and one night right after I finished what I was saying, without a beat he says, "did you ever notice you say 'something like that' a lot?"
:pout: :oops: :!!!:
for days I felt like "does he even listen to what i really say that he's focusing on the quirky things I say in between?"
silly dad, what a poop (again, rest his soul... :verysad: )

Jan in CA
08-23-2006, 08:41 PM
I can understand your initial reaction, but Ingrid is right. What might be a waste of time for one person is not for another. :heart: :heart: :heart:

feministmama
08-23-2006, 08:46 PM
I love you guys *sniff* :aww:

Yes I am still in vacation hell. We're in Florida. Today its clearwater. Yesterday was Bradenton. Thank goddess Disney is over. I have a few more days. We leave Saturday to go home to Oregon.

Yeah it could be a little of everything y'all said. She's old. Shes narcissistic. She controling. She can be a jerk sometimes. Shes VERY insecure. But guess what??? She bought me a new MacBook!!!!!!! I can't believe it. It is the coolest thing in the world. I got a discount too cuz I'm a student and I got a free printer AND and free nano with it. So I'm not mad at her anymore.

But thanks for all the support. Iknew I loved this place for a reason. I can't wait to waste some more time with y'all. :muah:

janelanespaintbrush
08-23-2006, 08:49 PM
She bought me a new MacBook!!!!!!! I can't believe it. It is the coolest thing in the world. I got a discount too cuz I'm a student and I got a free printer AND and free nano with it. So I'm not mad at her anymore.

Score!

brownishcoat
08-23-2006, 08:49 PM
Way to enable Femmy's KH habit, Mom! :cheering: :cheering: :cheering:

:muah: Hugs, Femmy! :muah:

Andrea
08-23-2006, 09:36 PM
:cheering: :cheering: :cheering: Yay Femmy!!

sfavereau
08-23-2006, 11:41 PM
Glad to hear you're not mad at your mom any more, femi!

But as a World of Warcraft player, I hear "what a waste of time" all the time, so I know how you felt. But I like wasting my time playing that game, so that's what matters. Doesn't stop my friends from telling me that I need "intervention" (b/c they think I'm addicted to the game... :roll: )

Ellen Edwards
08-24-2006, 09:21 AM
My mother cannot see what I NEED with a computer!! And I don't NEED it--I ENJOY it, and I've learned a lot of things on it!! SHe works crossword puzzles all day--I don't worry about that--it's a good thing. Computers are a good thing too--true they can BE a bad thing--but I'm not WHERE there's bad stuff!! I think computers SCARE our parents more than anythinhg else.

Mom couldn't live without her books and magazines to read all the time. I like to spend my time on the computer!! What's the big difference?? Neither of us is gonna "save the world" doing either one!! It's a preference. THe only way the being on KH is a waste of time to ME, is that I 'm not KNITTING when I'm on here, so maybe I get less knitting done....but I DOUBT that!!

However, all that being said, if my mom BOUGHT me that laptop she bought YOU...I'd stress out FAR less! :teehee:

itscryttle
08-24-2006, 01:13 PM
If I see someone watch NASCAR, I feel it's a waste of time. That doesn't mean they think it's a waste of time or that I'm right. It's just a waste of time for me.

So, for her, knitting and KH are a waste of time. For you, not. WE all know you're right!!

Thank you Ingrid! You said it much better then I could :cheering:

zazzu
08-24-2006, 02:21 PM
She's old. Shes narcissistic. She controling. She can be a jerk sometimes. Shes VERY insecure. But guess what??? She bought me a new MacBook!!!!!!! I can't believe it. It is the coolest thing in the world.

Now, if you really wanted to be bratty you could say, "Mom, THANKS for the new MacBook. It'll help me spend more time on my knitting board!" (Even if it won't actually).

Actually, it sounds like your mom is jealous of the time and attention spent on your hobby (and diverted from HER). My mom is like this, which is why I avoid her most of the time :wink:

Nikki
08-24-2006, 02:28 PM
Can't wait till you get home! Way to score!!!
Nikki

AnreeAce
08-24-2006, 02:32 PM
But guess what??? She bought me a new MacBook!!!!!!!

:thud:

Oh, be still my heart!

psammeadred
08-25-2006, 09:43 AM
Feministmama, here's a quote for you:

"The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time."
- Bertrand Russell, English philosopher

Pixywhispers
08-25-2006, 09:58 AM
Femmy, I cant belive you went to Disney! LOL That is enough to push anyone over the top! HA!

Glad to hear things are smoothed over.

Rhyannon1970
08-25-2006, 12:15 PM
Awww, that is a hurtful thing to say...maybe she's just have a bad day?

I often wonder why people say the things they do...maybe they just don't stop to think of what they are saying...I'm sure that if she knew how important this site is to you...all the friends you've made, etc...she would retract what she said....

Ah well, don't let it get you down...everyone has a right to their own opinion, right...we all probably do things or see others doing things that we think would be a waste of time...just usually i keep that stuff to myself.... :teehee:

Smile, she's your Mum & you gotta love her, and don't let it get you down. Besides, it's like they say "You can pick your friends but you can't pick your family" :happydance:

Rhy :heart: