View Full Version : Gifting non-knitters
10-23-2006, 12:43 PM
There is a quote in "Stitch and Bitch" that says something like, "Don't make major projects for non-knitters because you'll toil away on something tha they won't appreciate fully. The worst thing is to painstakingly make something that is never worn or used". I get this.
I don't know what it is, but i never seem to get much of a response when i make things by hand as gifts. It's a paradox of mine. I LOVE making things specifically for a person (knitting, jewelry, etc) and i take lots of time agonizing over what is just the right thing for this person... Then i send them off and rarely hear a "thank you", let alone a gush of appreciation. Why is that? If someone made something especially for me i'd turn around immediately and thank that person for their time - if nothing else!
Case in point - i've recently sent off two birthday gifts, three random gifts and one baby gift. Only one person thought to call me or email me when they received their gift (and that's just because he's fabulous). I mean, even if you hated the object, a simple "thanks, i got your package" isn't too much to ask, is it??
And the weird thing is that people ask me to make things for them. As if they know you have the ability to make nice things, therefore you should want to do things for those you love (and i do!).
I dunno.. i feel kinda stupid... :pout: I don't want to chase people down just to find out if they received the damned stuff!!
I think i'm going to have to stop and be a little selfish for a while. I've only ever knitted one thing for myself - my first ever FO - and it recently bit the dust (worn out with love).
What is your experience in gifting your hand goods?
10-23-2006, 12:55 PM
I understand how you feel.... i gave someone a jacket and it ended up in good will and i saw it when i was browsing in Good will !!!!!!! do u know how devastated i am ... my husband felt bad about the whole incident ...well, all i can say i handpicked the person i wanted to knit for seriously nowsadays ..cos time is so precious.. i should knit more for my DH cos' he is very worthy since day one he felt in love with me and always helped me in my knitting stuff...uncoiling the yarn with hands and rolling up the yarn into a ball...going to yarn store...paying $$$ for all my hobbies...
sorry alittle out of topic here :teehee: bottom line ...knit for someone who appreciate.... :heart:
P.S maybe is not so bad...at least she din not throw it in the garbage... goodwill help people hiring so ......do i need to say more ???
Pretty everything you mentioned validates my experiences. The last year I've been heavily into knitting after a multi-year absence. I decided this time around that I would rarely knit gifts for friends/family unless they asked or I thought they might really appreciate it. But no more knitting my latest thing/fad for everyone for Christmas (one year a decade or so ago was the hat/scarf Xmas and most didn't seem to appreciate it).
I mean, even if you hated the object, a simple "thanks, i got your package" isn't too much to ask, is it??This is the one that gets me the most. It doesn't even apply to knitting only. I hardly ever have anyone tell me they received a package from me. I usually have to ask - which I hate doing because then it feels like I'm pressuring them to tell me if they like the gift or not. I just want to know that the %#@!* thing got delivered!
I thought I was in the clear with not making gifts anymore for the unappreciative masses... until my step-niece found out I was knitting again and said, "Oh good, do we all get scarves for Christmas?" :roll: I guess I missed her the last time around (maybe wasn't family at that point?), so since her birthday is like Dec. 22nd, I think she'll get a knit brithday present but everyone else not so much.
I see two sides to it:
the side where I worked really hard and made something. It took creativity, time and love (sometimes tough love with swearing but the prime intention is love). It is hurtful if people don't appreciate your work and thoughfulness. This can sometimes be separated from whether they like it or not, sometimes just the appreciatation (based on the "it's the thought that counts" mantra) is enough.
And the other side is being a recipient of something you don't like. If it was handmade for you, yes you should show your appreciation for that at least. But like any other gift you don't like, you don't have use it.
So acknowledging that someone might not like what I toiled and bleed over, I definitely am more "selfish" with my knitting and more selective about who I give handknit gifts to. I think the people who are most appreciative will find you!!
Jan in CA
10-23-2006, 01:05 PM
Yeah, I hate it when people don't respond.
The only thing I'm knitting for gifts are two camouflage hats for my nephews who are learning to knit and a cabled hat my daughter requested.
10-23-2006, 01:49 PM
I only make really nice things for the people who know me well enough to know how much time and effort and LOVE I put into my knitting. I made my mom a fabulous cardigan that was truly AMAZING considering how long I've been knitting and how out of my league I was. She just adored it and loves telling everyon how her daughter hand knit this amazing garment. I also just made a beautiful wrap for my best friend. I also knit many things for my sister who is a novice knitter. But I also have begun to make myself more and more things. And why not? I really appreciate my knitting! :-)
I totally understand how you feel and I think you are totally right in what you are saying. Knit for yourself, knit for your home, knit for the people who care!
10-23-2006, 01:52 PM
I agree with knitting for people who care.
So far, I've only knit one thing for someone else, the Jack Skellington doll, but that's because I KNEW he'd appreciate it, even if I'd purchased it somewhere. The fact that I knit it just made it better for him. Then again, we've been friends for more than a third of my life, so.
10-23-2006, 01:56 PM
I know how you feel...but it seems to be a problem that's a reflection of life these days!! People just don't think about sending thank you notes anymore (well--I do, and I'm sure a lot of other people DO). I 've sent gifts to our nieces and nephews for their graduations for years and have rarely received a note--it's hard to tell whether they've gotten it until my bank statement comes!!! And many are children of parents who I know taught them better, and THOUGHT they responded!!
A simple thank-you s NOT too much to be expected --especially when you've sent out announcements that you're getting married, are graduating, etc. If not a note--can't they even call to say "THANKS!
10-23-2006, 03:08 PM
I'd probably test a person first. Give them a felted bowl with candies in it and see how they react. Then I might move on to something bigger.
I have a couple friends who have other crafts, but they don't get the knitting thing. Beading is cool, but knitting seems to be not as in fashion. :shrug: