View Full Version : OT: Having a REALLY BAD day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

nadja la claire
01-29-2007, 07:07 PM
My DH is not doing well lately. It seems that just when he starts to get better something happens and he's right back where he started from. We went to a Christmas party where he picked up a cold, which turned into pneumonia. He has pulmonary problems to begin with. Now the remnants of the pneumonia and the chemo have effected his appetite so now he's not eating or he's eating very little. I just want to cry sometimes because I don't know what to do. I wish I could make the cancer and the pulmonary fibrosis and all the other crap go away. He has gotten so old in just 2 years. I want him to be happy and healthy again. We try to be positive and laugh and tell jokes but some days, like today, reality creeps in and we both get scared and I fight back tears all day. I don't let him see me cry because I have to be strong for him. Today as we were driving home from yet another doctor's appointment I thought I want to just pack a bag, throw it in the car and drive leaving everything behind. When the feeling passed I felt like, well you know. Knitting and this site are at least 2 things that keep me sane. I normally would not say any of this to anyone but I feel that I can trust all of you. Oh man, I'm sorry if I got whiny, I hope you all won't judge me too harshly. Thanks for letting me vent.

:muah: :hug:

Nadja xxx

01-29-2007, 07:11 PM
Oh, Nadja,

I'm so sorry to hear about your husband.

I know how hard it can be to live with someone who is sick all the time.

I have close friends who are dealing with the same issue.

I'm sending you many cyber hugs --

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:


Jan in CA
01-29-2007, 07:15 PM
I'm so sorry! What you are feeling is perfectly normal. Have you considered finding a support group? Your local hospital or the doctor may know of one or two you could check out.

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

01-29-2007, 07:19 PM
I, too, have had to live with lots of illness. It's hard, and you're feeling absolutely normal. There are times when I say that I'm just so tired of sick people. To the sick people. :shrug:

:hug: :hug:

My mother had pulmonary fibrosis. It's not an easy disease. My heart goes out to you and your dh.

Pink Dandelion
01-29-2007, 07:27 PM
I'm so sorry you have so much on your plate right now :pout:.

It can be so difficult to be strong for someone else when you're scared too.

:heart: :hug: ((((((HUGS)))))) :hug: :heart:

Everyone needs to let off some steam now and then - more so when you've got such tough things to deal with. Feel free to vent anytime!

01-29-2007, 07:29 PM
We love you!
We carry hope for you, and rant whenever you need it and as we read we carry your burden for you...if just for a moment.
:heart: :muah: :hug:

01-29-2007, 07:46 PM
Wow, you're going through quite alot.
I know what it's like to live and care for someone who's sick all the time too. It's tough.
:heart: :pray: :heart:
You can vent all you want here. :hug:

01-29-2007, 07:50 PM
I don't know what else to say except I'm sorry. Sorry you have to go through this, sorry your hubby has to go through this and sorry I can't do anything to make it better for you. You're both in my thoughts, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. :hug:

01-29-2007, 07:53 PM
Oh, nadja, I'm so sorry. I'll be praying for you and your family. Many, many :hug: :hug: :hug: to you.

01-29-2007, 07:55 PM
Find a suppport group.. No discussion. It is a must. It will help you, to be able to help him... You need help so you can be strong for him. No one can be all. It's ok to ask for help

bear hugs your way. :hug:

01-29-2007, 09:15 PM
Maybe this will cheer you up a little (http://www.superlaugh.com/1/behappy.htm)

01-29-2007, 09:51 PM
You are a loving wife and person who is feeling UNDERSTANDIBLY overwhelmed.. I am so sorry to hear it is going so rough.. but the weather will soon be warmer and cold and flu season will go bye-bye~!! :!!!: :!!!: :!!!: and the risk of respiratory complications should decrease
Hugs and lots of love to you :heart: :heart: :heart:
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

nadja la claire
01-29-2007, 10:32 PM
Thanks everyone, you're all so great :hug: :hug: I feel better. I don't know, sometimes things just catch up to me. I hate it when I give into it though.

I have thought about a support group, but the problem is finding the time to join one.

Mason, thank you, that was really funny. :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

Thank you all, I'm glad I have someone or someones I can go to when I'm feeling down. :muah: :muah: :muah: :muah: :muah: :muah: :muah:

:muah: :hug:

Nadja xxx

01-29-2007, 11:09 PM
I agree with what the other said. I'm sure a support group would give you a good place to vent besides here :grphug:

Know that you and your husband will be in my thoughts. :hug: :hug: :hug:

01-29-2007, 11:41 PM
I'm so very sorry to hear about what's been going on, Nadja. It's so incredibly difficult to be the patient, and it's so incredibly difficult to be the caregiver...you both must be physically and emotionally exhausted. I send you and your husband the biggest hugs, and I will pray for you both. A support group sounds like a good idea. I hope things begin to get better soon. :heart: :heart: :heart:

01-29-2007, 11:58 PM
Thinking of you... find time for that group, you'll be glad you did. :heart: :heart: :heart:

01-30-2007, 12:03 AM

Praying for your family...


01-30-2007, 04:14 AM
I have thought about a support group, but the problem is finding the time to join one.

You need to find time for you - I know that can be difficult with everything thats going on, but even if you can't find a group that fits your timing, find a little time every day just for you.

Share your workload with close friends and family if you can - make sure you have a good support network in reallings as well as on here. You can always vent here but sometimes its best to have a good cry with someone.

I feel for you, I hope things get better soon.
:hug: :muah: :hug: :muah: :hug: :muah: :hug: :muah:

01-30-2007, 05:27 AM
I think I know how it feels... because I had gone through the same type of situation with my mom before and I felt really, really scared. But eventually we all made it through, so I know you can too! :heart: Feel free to vent anytime! We'll all be praying for you and your dh :pray: and giving u hugs :hug:

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:


01-30-2007, 07:34 AM
:pray: Prayers for you and your husband.

01-30-2007, 08:13 AM
:hug: :heart: :hug: :heart: :hug: :heart:

01-30-2007, 10:18 AM
Many times, it's harder to be the healthy one in the relationship than it is to be the one with the illness. It's scary. It can be lonely. There is that feeling of helplessness, that frustration that we can't do anything to help them. And sometimes, when we are at our worst, we feel frustrated with the person who is ill...not because they have done anything wrong, but because you just want them to be better already.

It's so hard.

But you can do this. You are your husband's support system...now find one for yourself. You deserve it.


01-30-2007, 10:44 AM
:heart: :heart: :hug: :hug: :heart: :heart:

Have you checked online for support groups, sometimes it's better if you are not tied down to a time and place to meet with others. You could just log on when you had the chance.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hang in there.

01-30-2007, 11:14 AM
Try the American Cancer Society. I am sure they would have a support group or try the American Lung Association. I am sure these large organziations would have options for you to choose from

01-30-2007, 11:18 AM
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

01-30-2007, 12:40 PM
Oh Nadja. :hug:

It's true what the others have said here. You need a support system. You need a way to recharge yourself, a place to let it all hang out. There's nothing wrong with being scared and tired, what you're going through is all part of the process.

I'll be thinking of you. :heart:

01-30-2007, 02:44 PM
Whining? You've got to be kidding. You have every right to vent. Hope you're feeling better today. :hug: :hug:

01-30-2007, 09:07 PM
Here is another good reason to find a support group~! If other people know what you are going through they may be able to hook you up to the right people (perhaps a sitter for a few hours ) to give you a break. Just check in to it.~ you have nothing to lose

PS I will stop nagging now :teehee: :teehee:

01-31-2007, 03:36 PM
:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

My heart is with you and your family. If there is anything I can do to help PLEASE let me know.
Mercedes-Benz Slc-Class History (http://www.mercedes-wiki.com/wiki/Mercedes-Benz_SLC-Class)

nadja la claire
02-01-2007, 09:27 AM
Hey everyone, it's taken me a few day's but I'm back from the depths of despair. I love you all and I can't thank you enough for the kind thoughts. :muah: :hug: :muah: :hug: :muah: :hug: :muah: :hug:

The chemo isn't working so today we see the radiation oncologist to set up a therapy schedule, and while we're at the hospital I'm going to look into some support groups for me and for my Honey Bear. When ever I suggest he go to a group he says he's fine but I can feel how scared he is and no matter how hard I try I can't know what he's going through.

I feel so lucky to have all of you including me and my family in your thoughts and prays. Thank you all again.

:muah: :hug:

Nadja xxx

02-01-2007, 05:05 PM
I know what your husband is going through as i am on my 2nd bout of chemo. It is so darn hard to get through mentally and phycially at times i want to scream.

I told my husband and kids i was not going to do the 2nd round after i had my surgery but i am going for it.

My husband has been a rock however he doesnt have a clue what it is like. No one does until they go through it and i dont wish cancer and chemo on anyone.

I pray and ask for God to get me through this trying time as i can not do it alone. I call my Dr's nurse when i am having a hard time and also a social worker just to talk about any little problem i think i have.

I will keep you and your husband in my prayers. Cry if you feel like and tell your husband to cry to. I do it at least once a day. I dont care who is around if i feel like a tear i shead it. Crying is good for the soul.

Hugs to you and hubby, :heart: :hug: :hug: :hug: anne

02-01-2007, 09:22 PM
If he doesn't feel like eating would he go for a milkshake. When my uncle was sick and losing pounds each day my grandma made milkshakes for him from carnation instant breakfast and ice cream. It gave him fat and vitamins to keep his energy up. He could usually keep these down even if he couldn't eat. I have heard about other cancer patients who said the same thing.

02-02-2007, 12:48 AM
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: to you