PDA

View Full Version : WAY OT-St. Valentine's Day (rant)


Chel
02-09-2007, 02:02 PM
Okay, I'm not trying to be a stick in the mud... but Valentine's Day this year is reallyyyyyyyyyy irking me. This is my 2nd without Daniel :pout: and this is harder than the first-I think maybe because I was still in shock the first year.

I know its a nice day where couples indulge in the romantic side of life blah blah blah, but as a single girl in my 30's I feel like all those :heart: 's, pretty boxes of chocolate and flowers exist just to mock me. I am sure I saw a bouquet of roses and a box of Russell Stovers pointing and laughing secretively when I was in the grocery store last night. :verysad:

I KNOW it shouldn't matter. I KNOW I shouldn't care. I KNOW I should celebrate it by doing something I enjoy. But I would rather be childish and stick my tongue out at all those kissy :ick: face couples mooning over each other. Not that I begrudge them their happiness...Happiness makes the world a better place. But what if we treated each other EVERYDAY the way we did on St. Valentine's Day, Birthdays and Christmas? What kind of world would we have then? A better one I'm sure.


Ugh. I don't think it would be nearly as big of a deal if I wasn't the only single girl in BOTH offices where I work. My desk will look so plain and empty next to everyone elses with their huge bouquets and stuff. And what about the people who actually decorate their desks!!! :hair:

I think next year I will start up a Valentine group that sends gifts and cards to each other at work on St. V-day just as friends. I am sure there are others in the same situation as me.[/i]

HamaLee
02-09-2007, 02:07 PM
:hug: :muah: :heart:
:heart: :heart: :heart:

I'm sorry you're going through this, you have every right to vent.

I've never been a fan of Valentine's Day, I just don't get it. I get upset with bfs if they press on me to celebrate it because I really prefer not to. For one thing--I hate flowers and candy :teehee: --and for a similar reasoning to you: Why be special and romantic on this specific day because Hallmark tells us to? Why not be that way all the time, or on special random days when it hits us? That's much more to my liking.

Andrea
02-09-2007, 02:09 PM
:hug: :hug: :hug:

If I worked with you, my desk would be bare too. Dh and I could care less about it. :heart: I don't even recognize it other than it's 5 days until my birthday :teehee:

Hang in there! :muah:

miccisue
02-09-2007, 02:30 PM
Ever watch the show "Til Death"? Well, after being married 27 years, I can tell you it's so close to the truth it's hysterical.

If I want Valentine's stuff, I buy it for myself. Doesn't mean hubby and I don't love each other, but somehow it just doesn't seem that important any more.

I've learned over the years that life very seldom resembles a Hallmark card.....unless it's the ones with Maxine in them. LOL!!!!!

You are right, it's just another day.....but if it really does bug you, why not go to KMart or someplace and pick up a package of the Valentines that kids exchange at school and hand them out to your buds at work? Bake a bunch of heart shaped sugar cookies, frost them, and then draw a big "/" through them (like the universal symbol for "no"). Turn it around and have some fun with it....have an "un-Valentines" celebration!

iza
02-09-2007, 02:48 PM
I understand :heart: :hug: I was single for a while and Valentine's day can be hard. Yes, if you can do something you enjoy it's good, but only if you really feel like it. If you're not in the mood, it can make you feel even worst... in the end it IS just a very commercial thing, and extremely artificial. Couples that really love each other don't need this in my opinion.

However, don't be too hard on people around you who are celebrating it... they don't want to hurt you, and probably don't realize that it can be annoying for somebody who is single. You are allowed to tell them Valentine's day isn't all that fun for you, and I'm sure some people would tone it down.

I must say the most annoying thing about being single for me was... other people. I was doing pretty good by myself, but having people always reminding me that I was single, with comments/questions such as "are you dating", "I know somebody you would like", "you have to force yourself to meet people", "there's a great site on the web that I know", "why don't we go out tonight, we'll find you someone", "You have to move on", all that stuff, was driving me CRAZY!!! :wall: :hair: :grrr: I know people meant well but it was just making me angry. As if it was shameful to be single...

janelanespaintbrush
02-09-2007, 02:50 PM
I didn't meet DH until I was 32, and before that a good number of my Valentine's Days were spent single. It's tough, I know. I like your idea of exchanging gifts with others in the same situation. You might want to see whether there are any anti-Valentine's Day events in your area. We went to one last year (DH was in one of the bands), and it was a lot of fun.

Also, why not treat yourself to a gift? When I was single, I used to buy fresh flowers for myself every now and then just to be a little self-indulgent. (These days I buy yarn. :teehee:) Just tell yourself you deserve something special (you know you do!), and be your own Valentine. ;)

Stiney
02-09-2007, 02:51 PM
I don't celebrate Valentine's Day, because it's a stupid, made-up holiday, and I think people shouldn't need a day to celebrate their love--they should be doing that every day. It's a lot more meaningful when it happens ALL THE TIME instead of on a couple of special occasions.

stitchwitch
02-09-2007, 03:25 PM
I'm a self proclaimed "Valentine's Day Atheist". :roflhard: I chose to be a non-believer of Valentine's Day more than 15 years ago when I was going through some bad times and it's just stuck with me since then. I knew I hated that fake holiday when my parents were the only ones sending me valentine stuff and I was 25 years old. :roflhard:

sittenknitten
02-09-2007, 03:33 PM
Like most of the other "holidays," Valentine's Day as become a mass merchandising extravaganza. The pressure to buy stuff in order to celebrate is extreme and, in a sly way, subtle. Subtle, in that if you don't spend and participate, you can seem like a grouch, a scrooge, or just plain mean-spirited. Most people don't realize how much they're being manipulated by the marketing, especially the kids.

I'm all in favor of fun and celebration, and DH and I try to "remind" each other in lots of different ways on a regular basis how we feel about each other. The entire aisles devoted to chocolate and crappy candy (that we shouldn't eat anyway), and junky toys and knick-knacks are simply devices to get us to purchase stuff. It's free enterprise, after all, but they wouldn't keep marketing the stuff if we didn't keep buying it. :tap:

Chel
02-09-2007, 03:48 PM
I must say the most annoying thing about being single for me was... other people. I was doing pretty good by myself, but having people always reminding me that I was single, with comments/questions such as "are you dating", "I know somebody you would like", "you have to force yourself to meet people", "there's a great site on the web that I know", "why don't we go out tonight, we'll find you someone", "You have to move on", all that stuff, was driving me CRAZY!!! :wall: :hair: :grrr: I know people meant well but it was just making me angry. As if it was shameful to be single...


I totally agree. People look at me with this pitiful expression as if to say, "You poor lonely pathetic sad woman". Then with the same false confidence of a soap opera physician assuring a terminally ill patient that they will recover, they they assure me the "right" one will come along soon... Theres still hope... *cough cough* The light is fading....everything is going dark... Flatline.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeep

*sigh* At least I still have my sense of humor. Even if I have no one to make laugh.

jolenel
02-09-2007, 03:53 PM
I completely agree with the thoughts about how commercialized the holiday is, and how marketing makes so many of us look scroogy if we refuse to celebrate it. Love can't be measured by material items. The one-upping mentality that some people exhibit about Valentine's Day is maddening and not in the spirit of love. "My husband got me this diamond necklace and 4 dozen roses...what did yours give you?" Oh please. :yadda:

Stiney
02-09-2007, 04:06 PM
I was JUST ranting in my blog about how some silly town in Florida tried to censor the Vagina Monologues unsuccessfully (rant because they tried), and then I was like..."DURH."

If you don't want to celebrate Valentine's Day, what about celebrating V-Day? (http://www.vday.org/main.html)

stitchwitch
02-09-2007, 04:06 PM
Some of the ads makes me cringe....."the diamond eternity love ring...15 carats of expression of your love..." It makes it look as though if you gave your wife just a card you somehow love her less. Ugh.

HamaLee
02-09-2007, 04:29 PM
*sigh* At least I still have my sense of humor. Even if I have no one to make laugh.

You make us laugh! :happydance:
We should anti-VDay something or other on the board. Quick little KAL? Shall we all buy ourselves a skein of yarn or notion and share pr0n?

Kaydee
02-09-2007, 05:05 PM
I was JUST ranting in my blog about how some silly town in Florida tried to censor the Vagina Monologues unsuccessfully (rant because they tried), and then I was like..."DURH."

If you don't want to celebrate Valentine's Day, what about celebrating V-Day? (http://www.vday.org/main.html)

This is OT, and I don't mean at all to hijack the thread but my college (Providence College, a small Catholic school) did successfully banned the V. Monologues even after much student protest. It was a big controversy, and the students ended up finding a place off campus to do it thankfully. The college administration didn't seem to really understand the message that it sends.

Anyway, back to the topic...I think a lot of people don't particularly like to celebrate Valentine's Day. Its fun when you're little and give out those cute cards and candy, but after that what's really the point. Like most of you said, why should you only have one day to show someone you love them? Its just a pretent "holiday" anyway, that's I don't think is very important.

humblestumble
02-09-2007, 05:23 PM
I used to feel that way growing up. Even when I was a young child! I felt so alone. And I have often thought the same thing about sharing immense love everyday, or any other day than Valentine's Day. It has become a commercial holiday just like everything else. I am probably going to stop buying things for Valentine's day and make them instead.

My boyfriend and I will probably celebrate the day before, so I think I will feel left out on Valentine's Day too because I won't see much of him and I will KNOW that it's Valentine's Day. And we actually don't do anything too much differently away from Valentine's Day. We're always giving each other things and love.

Anyway, the point is, I know that you are not mad at Valentine's Day, but that you feel it alienates you because you are single. It's a day that society pushes on us, but you don't have to feel obligated to have a partner. You can just give love to anyone with kind words, and cards or whatever if you want. Many people celebrate this way. In fact, some people who "dispise" it, actually still celebrate it by going out with all their single friends.



:hug: :muah: :hug:

mrs desert rain
02-09-2007, 05:25 PM
a bit of Valentine's Day history (http://www.flowerbud.com/flowerPress/valentine.asp).

when i was single, my BFF's boyfriend used to buy me the same enormous chocolate boxes he got for her. i always felt kinda strange about it -- i called it his 'sympathy gift.' he laughed, i smiled, but i was secretly insulted. i actually loved being single. i spent one v-day at the spa -- alone.

on a semi-commercial note, my DH is getting me a ball winder and swift for v-day -- because i'll use any excuse for knitty stuff! (i'll buy my own damn chocolates!)

msoebel
02-12-2007, 11:18 AM
Yeah, I am not a big fan of Valentine's day, and never really have been. I think it's because at my jr high and high school, they sold carnations to be delivered in front of everyone in your 3rd hour class.

I always dated boys from other schools, or was single on Valentine's day, so I never got one of those UGLY flowers :pout: .

And then what do I do? I married a Valentine's day FREAK. He loves it. He plots and plans so he can give me a wonderful Valentine's day.

In the past he has :
-made me a card, with the lyrics to "our song"
-made me crab and shrimp dinner, complete with homemade dessert and candles
-surprised me with 2 dozen roses, delivered to me at work
-surprised me with shopping trips and a hotel room in the city
-surprised me with diamond earrings and jewelry box

etc, etc, etc. :roll:

I appreciate the gestures...it's just that, Valentine's day is kind of silly, and I don't really like it.

This year, our 9th Valentine's day, he is miffed at me because I told him I don't want a romantic celebration (and reminded him that I never wanted a big show for Valentine's day). I said I would like to take our daughter and go to a steak house for dinner, and then, on another night, I want to go see the new Travolta, Tim Allen and William H. Macy movie (the comedy about middle aged bikers!).

Oh well...he will get over it.

Misty

DianaM
02-12-2007, 11:40 AM
I think next year I will start up a Valentine group that sends gifts and cards to each other at work on St. V-day just as friends. I am sure there are others in the same situation as me.

In Mexico, we consider Feb. 14 the day of Love and Friendship. So there's stuff sold for couples and for friends. It is fun :heart:

I spent 26 years w/o a sweetheart, and now that I have one, I don't get to spend it with him either. It's our second St.V's together and he's deployed.

.....I sent him interesting stuff though :teehee:
Post Office Lady: "Fill out the customs form with the contents of the box"
Me: *ponders* .......4 boxes of Good n' Plenty, 1 bag of Skittles, 2 bottles of antacid .....

Damn I'm romantic :roflhard:

HamaLee
02-12-2007, 11:51 AM
2 bottles of antacid .....

Damn I'm romantic :roflhard:

Now that's true love!

syndactylus
02-12-2007, 11:57 AM
public valentine's day is (mostly) for the kind of people who compare the size of their engagement rings.

or maybe I'm just cynical.

mwedzi
02-12-2007, 12:49 PM
Okay, I'll expose myself here (quick, hide the kiddies!). I'm 28 and I've never had a V-day with anyone. Never. It is really depressing. So to the very first poster, I read your thread and I know exactly what you mean. Even worse, cuz I feel like I've never had it, not even the love and lost deal, you know? I feel there is something very much wrong with me. Hmm, that's likely true, but does there have to be a day to remind me? Hmph, like I'd forget.

If it makes you all feel any better, in Korea they have LOTS of days like this, not just one a year. You get to feel like this generally about once a month if you're a youngin (like high school and college), but popular ones even for slightly older folks are:

Valentine's Day - Feb. 14th Where girls give guys they admire chocolate
White Day - March 14th, Where guys give girls they admire non-chocolate candy.
Black Day - April 14th, Where the girls who gave guys chocolate on V-day but didn't receive any in return on White Day are supposed to wear black and eat black bean noodles.

There are more, but those are the major ones. Geez, just shoot me.

psammeadred
02-12-2007, 08:03 PM
One year, my granddad got my grandmother a mop for Valentine's Day...

It's just another day to me. I'm a very non-romantic, practical sort of person, so jewelry and chocolate don't excite me in the least bit.

Oh! I have an idea! Let's all post pics of our favorite yarn on Valentine's Day!

Birdy
02-12-2007, 08:16 PM
I have been married for nearly nine years now, and quite frankly, Valentine's Day and all the other big holidays have been hard for me because my DH just doesn't celebrate them.

I know it's not the same, but I agree with you that other's can be naively insulting!

I look forward to these special days, including my birthday and Christmas, by trying to figure out some way to "save face." Having an answer to the, "So what did your husband get you?"

I've learned that my husband does really love me, but he is so disorganized that way I highly doubt he will ever plan a gift. On occasion he has remember to stop by the convenience store or Tim Horton's drive thru on the way home.

Its dumb, because during the year, he is very quick to tell me to buy stuff if he thinks it will make me happy. Case in point, he told me that the minute I felt we could afford it, I should buy myself all the Knit Pick Options I want. [His disorganization has other effects on our marriage too :doh:]

:hug: :hug: I am sorry that those around you are insensitive!