View Full Version : I feel like a lazy slob...

02-09-2007, 05:06 PM
Is that normal after you have a kid b/c I felt that way w/ my first one too!!! I kept saying that I wasn't going to be so lazy during this maternity leave...I feel like all I do is, get up and down all night to nurse, get up in the morning, change a diaper, nurse some more, put Aaron down for a nap, jump online and check email and this site, change his diaper, nurse some more, put Aaron in his swing or bouncy seat, knit or check my email, and so on and so forth. I so badly need to clean house but by the time I get done nursing and put him down I try to do something I want to do b/c for most of the day I'm doing what I have to do to take care of him....and then my 4YO comes home and I have to take care of both until dh gets home...

It just seems like it takes forever to do anything and if I try to do it during his nap periods I only get half finished...

Today, I haven't even gotten out of my bathrobe....

dh says it's okay but then I look around and see the messy house and the leaves that need burning, etc. etc. and I feel guilty...

02-09-2007, 05:08 PM
That's totally normal! Please don't be so hard on yourself! :hug: :heart: :heart: :heart:

02-09-2007, 05:15 PM
Not ever having had a kid myself (wrong plumbing), I do know that my ex experienced the exact same thing after each of my three were born. You body had just gone through quite a trauma and needs time to heal and for the hormones to settle back to normal.

Cut yourself some slack and give your body time to do what it needs to do.

02-09-2007, 05:18 PM
:zombie: Oh my God your day really makes me sound tired! Running after two kids all day? :passedout:

I'm serious, I could never be a mom! You are SOOOO not lazy.

02-09-2007, 05:19 PM
Not ever having had a kid myself (wrong plumbing) :teehee: .

I can't say I've ever had kids and being only 22, I don't really know anything about giving birth or being a mother. BUT, I can't imagine that it's easy to have a newborn and to have to get up constantly during the night. I'm sure you're exhausted which probably makes it hard to get other things done. I wouldn't be so hard on yourself, yuo're doing what you need to do for your child and that's all that really matters right now. So what if your house if a little messy, when your kids are grown you aren't going to remember that but you will remember those precious moments you got to spend with them. :muah:

02-09-2007, 05:19 PM
Oh, Christy! You just had a baby. You're providing him with all his nutrition and taking care of a 4-year-old. The stooooopid housecleaning will wait. Trust me--it doesn't go anywhere. :teehee:

Cut yourself some slack. Relax and recouperate. Spend your energy on your kids and yourself. Somebody else (hint hint dh) can take care of the cleaning.

02-09-2007, 05:26 PM
Reading your post Cristy... now I feel unbelievably lazy :teehee: I don't have the energy to do house cleaning either and the only reason I found is because I have a cold. yes yes, just a cold, but it's really draining my energy. So I have to relax... right??? :teehee:

02-09-2007, 05:30 PM
thanks guys..I needed to hear that....dh tries to clean the house but it just isn't the same as when I do it, you know?? but I try to be patient and thankful...

I keep telling myself that I'll be wishing I could be back on the sofa in my bathrobe in a few weeks when I'm back at work so I should just enjoy it...I just feel guilty for some reason. My dad decided to stop by unannounced earlier today after his doctor's appt--when he rang the doorbell I looked up at the front door and he was peeking in the little sidelights at me and I suddenly felt bad b/c I'm in my robe and there is a half eaten apple beside me along w/ an empty water bottle...I get my need for things to be clean and neat from him so I couldn't help but wonder what he thought...

I'll just keep re-reading this thread when I feel bad!

02-09-2007, 05:34 PM
"This too shall pass...."

Here's something to think about: Real-life lazy people don't feel lazy. They don't worry about laziness. They don't think they are lazy. They don't see any problem.

You are not lazy. You are successfully making adjustments to the changes that a baby makes to your household! You are taking care of the most important things: your baby.

Next, you are taking care of YOU. Checking email and this Forum is good for YOU. It hooks you up with other people. Knitting relaxes you!

Nothing lasts forever. Your baby will nurse less and less...and before you know it...all your kids are grown and out of the house. I have been down this road 5 times...our five children are now grown, married, and raising their own children! They haven't taken me to see Dr. Phil yet, so I must have done something right! :teehee:

There will always be time to clean and organize...but the time for raising your little ones is fleeting!

PS: I am still in my jammies, too! Well, this is what I say: who cares? There is no one here to give me a hard time but me...and I won't! :teehee:

And I will betcha your baby could care less if you are dressed in your jammies or your jeans!

02-09-2007, 05:36 PM
he probably likes my jammies better since they allow quicker access when he's hungry! LOL!

02-09-2007, 05:43 PM
:hug: :heart: :hug:

You are doing a wonderful job.. the house work will wait... and everyone will understand and if they don't show them the door or the broom :teehee: ... I tell ya the internet is what keeps me sane somedays... my family is out of state and we only have one car... I talk to my mom at lunch time and dh a few times during the day... but if I didn't have my e-mail buddies and this forum I'd go a little crazy only seeing the outside world on grocery shopping days.... its good that you take time for yourself.. and I know its hard to do that... plus I think Feb. has a way of making everyone feel kinda blahhh... we are ready for spring and to be outdoors... I'm ready to see the sun again.. the sun makes me happy :roflhard:

02-09-2007, 06:27 PM
If it makes you feel any better, Cristy, my little one is 3 mos already and my day still sounds like yours. We regularly have"Pajama Days" where me, the 2 yr old and the baby never change out of our PJ's.

02-09-2007, 06:40 PM
Oh good--well, I feel a little better then. It's funny...the days that I do have to get dressed (M,T, TH I pick up dd from preschool at 2:30), I try to stay out of the house for as long as possible, even if it means just driving around. Yesterday we went to Starbucks to get dd a hot cocoa and a frappuccino for me...then we just drove through neighborhood I'd never driven through before..

02-09-2007, 06:49 PM
On Saturdays I usually go out and dh stays with the kids... last Saturday I just parked the car and went into every shop on Main St... it was nice to just get out and walk and window shop... then on Sunday the whole family went out for groceries and lunch.. it is good to get out.. my LYS doesn't have a knit and sit but they offer classes... dh usually talks me into taking a class or two just to get me out of the house and on my own for awhile.. I'm doing a Scarf class this year that is once a month..I could do it on my own but this way I get to knit and chit chat for 3hrs.. :happydance:

02-09-2007, 07:03 PM
DH does encourage me to go out, but he leaves for work at 5am and gets home b/w 8:30 and 10pm. All the classes at our LYS's are during the day, or during the week at night. I feel too selfish payng a sitter so I can get out during the week. Once it warms up again, we can get out for walks again. Cant wait!

02-09-2007, 07:09 PM

My children are 28 months apart. I often looked and felt the part of harried, tired mom. As a matter of fact, I feel that way today since dd just had knee surgery, and I'm her nurse.

Just remember that when you get to heaven, God is NOT going to ask you about how clean your house was (or if you did a better job than dh) or how many days you didn't get out of your pajamas. Let your maternity leave be "Pajama Day," as we call it in my house.

Don't be a perfectionist about the house. It's just going to get dirty again. Once you can let go of this, you'll feel SO much better!!!

Take care of yourself and allow yourself the small indulgences you have. You'll be a much better mom for it.


02-09-2007, 07:31 PM
Believe me, this time (in retrospect) will fly. Think about how fast the time has gone since your 4 y/o was a newborn! I have a 23 y/o and it feels to me like he was born about two years ago. :roflhard:

Have you ever seen this poem?

Rock-a-bye Baby
(by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton
adapted by Wendy Lyn)

Cleaning and scrubbing
can wait 'til tomorrow
For babies grow up,
we've learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs,
Dust go to sleep,
I'm rocking my baby
and babies don't keep.

02-09-2007, 08:54 PM
I guarantee that when your kids are all grown up you'll never wish that you'd spent time cleaning the house instead of being with them!!! and that will be before you know it. Enjoy them while you can. If you name your dustbunnies, they become pets, and then noone expects you to get rid of them!


02-09-2007, 09:25 PM
Oh Cristy, don't you worry about your house cleaning. You just take care of yourself and your kids! :hug:
I don't know what it's like to be a mom, but I am a pre-school teacher and you should see what I do (or not do) on my day off. :teehee:

02-09-2007, 09:32 PM
As long as you sweep the room with a glance you've cleaned it. Right?

02-09-2007, 10:40 PM
Thanks for the poem Yvonne, and losnana...I love the idea of naming dust bunnies so I can keep them!! LOL!! :rofl:

Mason--you clean like my husband!! :)

I wish I could give all of you a big hug! :hug: :heart:

02-10-2007, 12:43 AM
My youngest (of two) is now 18 months...it took about 9 months to get a really good rhythm, and it's still improving every month. But this is how I put it, when I was running out of steam at month 7 or 8:

The first time around, you get up at night because you don't have to get up and go to work, and dh does. This is okay, because the baby sleeps 18 hours a day at first, and you can nap at some point. It took me months to figure out that with baby number 2, they NEVER sleep at the same time. So you're working from the time you get up to the time you go to sleep. You thought you could multi task before, but now you are cooking, nursing a baby, and calling a doctor all at the same time. Every time you do something for yourself (eating, bathing, dressing), you are doing it three times; once for you and once for each kid. Imagine eating nine times a day! Peeing 24 times a day! Bathing 3 times a day! And then you go to bed, and you're on call!

This is not complaining about motherhood. This is a perspective on the limits of the human body. If you get a chance to rest in and among doing the work of three people, TAKE IT! You WILL recover faster. Your family will benefit. I'm very passionate about this...I really brought some health issues on myself because I didn't listen to my body in those seven months, and my family suffered for it. If you feel guilty "pampering" yourself, look at it as a favor to your kids. Good luck!

"It's getting better all the ti-i-ime,
Better, better, better...."
The Beatles :)


02-10-2007, 12:55 AM
Mason--you clean like my husband!! :)

Good man.

i'd rather be knitting
02-10-2007, 01:24 AM
Don't even start to feel guilty or lazy. You just went through nine months of pregnancy, birth, and now you're taking care of a four year old and a newborn. Your body is strained and you need to take it easy. Enjoy the pajama days, knitting, surfing the net, napping, etc.
Let your body heal and take care of yourself.
And like everyone else has said...they really do grow up so fast. Mine are 16 and 20 and I just don't know how that happened. It seems like they were babies just a few years ago.
As long as you're not living in filth, which you cleary are not, let it be.


02-10-2007, 01:29 AM
As long as you're not living in filth, which you cleary are not, let it be

Hey, what's wrong with filth? :teehee:

My rule of thumb:

If your feet start sticking to the floor, it's time to wash it. Otherwise, don't bother.

You think I kid?? Ask my kids. :roflhard:

02-10-2007, 01:36 AM
As long as you're not living in filth, which you cleary are not, let it be

Hey, what's wrong with filth? :teehee:

My rule of thumb:

If your feet start sticking to the floor, it's time to wash it. Otherwise, don't bother.

You think I kid?? Ask my kids. :roflhard:

Isn't that what socks are for?

02-10-2007, 02:58 AM
Also Cristy~ Your iron may be low in your body. You have bled some since the surgery/birth. You may just need to eat some raisins or a little more red meat. Women are notorious for being anemic and not knowing it... espeically if you are feeding the baby too~!

It might just be simple old FATIGUE~! Just like the others said, Just be gentle to yourself~! It really will get easier with time ( and sleep~! :eyebrow:

02-10-2007, 11:52 AM
Cristy, your little guy is still so little--he's still a newborn!--and you just gave birth! You're being too hard on yourself! :hug: When you nurse in the beginning, this is pretty much what life is like. You're building your milk supply up too, so that takes up a lot of time. I have three babies, and the last one is the only one I was able to nurse successfully for any length of time (for 11 months! :happydance: ), and the lactation consultant told me that in the beginning, you pretty much just need to rest and nurse in order to build up that supply. Once you start overdoing it and rushing around, your milk supply will lessen. Once your supply is adequately established, you can begin to increase your routine.

It probably just seems different than the first time around because now you have two kids to take care of, which means more laundry, more dishes, more housework, more everything than there was the first time. I really felt like a novice this last baby, because I really didn't remember how much stuff gets put on hold until they get a little bit older, and until you can have any kind of a routine. Please, be patient with yourself...everything will come together soon. :heart: And it's really hard to expect to have too much energy for anything else when you're probaby still getting up for those nighttime feedings. My daughter got up in the middle of the night to nurse the entire time I nursed her the 11 months, and I have to say, that really wore me down, even though I really never considered that to be a factor of why I was so chronically tired (and for the first time, I had dark circles under my eyes continuously!). I'll bet you're not even taking into consideration all of the broken sleep you're getting, and that nursing does put a strain on your body and your nutritional requirements. Make sure you're getting enough to eat and drink, and don't be afraid to rest. You need it! :muah: