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View Full Version : I have to complain about this! (Once again...)


Aquaria
02-10-2007, 10:06 PM
You can't believe what my older brother just said about my yarns! :grrr:
My brother always puts his dirty clothes and dishes, etc. like EVERWHERE he goes to and they are DISGUSTING I tell ya! They really take up a lot of spaces at our house and some of them STINK.
We had been really patient about this and never complained too much about it, but today I talked to him about it. He was not happy. He said my yarns are even more STINKY than his clothes!(he said that seriously, not joking at all!) :!!!: My yarn never smells! They are lovely yarns :crying:

There had been fights like this a lot before, and I never won in any of those fights with him :crying: , he has this sort of nasty words that can really harm your feelings, and this does not only happen to me, but other family members, too. How can I deal with this sort of person everyday? I can't stand it! :-x

Sorry about posting this :( ...... but I'm just feeling terrible and thought I had to complain about it :verysad:

auburnchick
02-10-2007, 10:09 PM
Just ignore him. He'll probably get annoyed when you don't fight back, but remember that it takes two to argue. Don't allow yourself to get pulled into petty arguments. Sounds like there is a personality conflict.

Hang in there. :hug:

Aquaria
02-10-2007, 10:17 PM
Just ignore him. He'll probably get annoyed when you don't fight back, but remember that it takes two to argue. Don't allow yourself to get pulled into petty arguments. Sounds like there is a personality conflict.

Hang in there. :hug:

Many people had told me to do so... and I've done that in most of the conflicts with him. But you know :( , at some point you just can't ignore that easily. Sometimes, after being silent for too long, you get really upset by his words and you just can't hold it anymore... Maybe I'm still too young to be so patient :verysad:

And he said he was doing that all for MY SAKE! Like if he didn't EDUCATE me I would just become an absolute jerk or something.

PinkRoses
02-10-2007, 10:20 PM
I agree with Auburnchick completely. Just try to ignore him as much as you can. He'll get bored if he knows you don't care. :yadda:

brendajos
02-10-2007, 10:20 PM
Out of curiosity...how old is your brother?

Aquaria
02-10-2007, 10:23 PM
Out of curiosity...how old is your brother?

My brother is grade twelve and I'm grade eight.

brendajos
02-10-2007, 10:29 PM
That is as I suspected, though I suspected him to be younger actually. He was saying the things he did in an effort to push your buttons. It is what siblings (and often many family members) do. :shrug: The good news is that you two will likely out grow it but until then there is no really good way to deal with it beyond ignoring it. Coming from a person who was never able to ignore it though I know it is hard. (As it was, he never wanted to get me angry because even though I was smaller I was definitely mightier :teehee:) As far as him leaving stuff all over the place... let your parents deal with it. He is definitely at an age where he should know better! :!!!:

Aquaria
02-10-2007, 10:41 PM
That is as I suspected, though I suspected him to be younger actually. He was saying the things he did in an effort to push your buttons. It is what siblings (and often many family members) do. :shrug: The good news is that you two will likely out grow it but until then there is no really good way to deal with it beyond ignoring it. Coming from a person who was never able to ignore it though I know it is hard. (As it was, he never wanted to get me angry because even though I was smaller I was definitely mightier :teehee:) As far as him leaving stuff all over the place... let your parents deal with it. He is definitely at an age where he should know better! :!!!:

Thanks brendajos, I feel a bit better now :)
Maybe I should also grow up to be more patient myself... I sometimes feel childish to fight back but I just couldn't help it...

ps. sometimes even my parents can't deal with him you know

Knitting_Guy
02-10-2007, 10:47 PM
I'm sorry but I just had to bust out laughing while reading this. It's just typical sibling stuff. Your brother, being somewhat older than yourself, has had a tad more time to refine his arguing skills than you have had.

Being an old man of 45 (it isn't the age that matters, it's the mileage - in which case I am really screwed), and the oldest of three boys, I can tell you that in 20 years none of this will be important to you at all.

If he is really getting on your nerves in an argument, threaten to tell the girls his age what a slob he is, that will always scare a kid his age as girls are what he thinks about 99.9% of the time. :rofl:

brendajos
02-10-2007, 10:51 PM
Well really, his response was actually more childlike than anybody his age should have been. By his response I would have guessed that he was in 6th grade.

Aquaria
02-10-2007, 11:02 PM
I'm sorry but I just had to bust out laughing while reading this. It's just typical sibling stuff. Your brother, being somewhat older than yourself, has had a tad more time to refine his arguing skills than you have had.

Being an old man of 45 (it isn't the age that matters, it's the mileage - in which case I am really screwed), and the oldest of three boys, I can tell you that in 20 years none of this will be important to you at all.

If he is really getting on your nerves in an argument, threaten to tell the girls his age what a slob he is, that will always scare a kid his age as girls are what he thinks about 99.9% of the time. :rofl:

:rofl: Yeah, I know this really is the kind of sibling stuff and what a great idea Mason! (although I would not do that lol)

Although I know this argument that I just talked about sounds funny, there are also lots of other ones that he went on with my mum, serious ones that had almost made my mom want to leave this house forever :shock: Believe me, sometimes these conflicts with him can get quite scary and serious.

auburnchick
02-10-2007, 11:07 PM
Out of curiosity...how old is your brother?

My brother is grade twelve and I'm grade eight.

12th grade, eh?

In that case, while he's sleeping, hide his car keys. That'll be GREAT payback. :teehee:

Knitting_Guy
02-10-2007, 11:09 PM
Out of curiosity...how old is your brother?

My brother is grade twelve and I'm grade eight.

12th grade, eh?

In that case, while he's sleeping, hide his car keys. That'll be GREAT payback. :teehee:

Oh that's just mean.


Funny, but mean.

:roflhard:

PinkRoses
02-10-2007, 11:12 PM
I would say you could hide his shoes but then again, I'm sure you would rather not have him stuck there. :teehee:

Knitting_Guy
02-10-2007, 11:12 PM
I'm sorry but I just had to bust out laughing while reading this. It's just typical sibling stuff. Your brother, being somewhat older than yourself, has had a tad more time to refine his arguing skills than you have had.

Being an old man of 45 (it isn't the age that matters, it's the mileage - in which case I am really screwed), and the oldest of three boys, I can tell you that in 20 years none of this will be important to you at all.

If he is really getting on your nerves in an argument, threaten to tell the girls his age what a slob he is, that will always scare a kid his age as girls are what he thinks about 99.9% of the time. :rofl:

:rofl: Yeah, I know this really is the kind of sibling stuff and what a great idea Mason! (although I would not do that lol)

Although I know this argument that I just talked about sounds funny, there are also lots of other ones that he went on with my mum, serious ones that had almost made my mom want to leave this house forever :shock: Believe me, sometimes these conflicts with him can get quite scary and serious.

Trust me, every boy around that age has those arguments with their mother. It's just hormones mostly. I remember one argument with my mother when I was around 15. I got mad and actually raised my fist like I was gonna hit my mom (I wouldn't have). She snatched a cast iron skillet off the stove and went upside my head with it.

I never raised a fist to her again. :rofl:

Stiney
02-10-2007, 11:42 PM
My brother's 19, wanna trade? Seriously, yours sounds like a picnic compared to mine. :roll:

auburnchick
02-10-2007, 11:51 PM
I would say you could hide his shoes but then again, I'm sure you would rather not have him stuck there. :teehee:

Better one...

Change his voicemail message on his cell phone... :roflhard:

Too bad we didn't have them when I was growing up with my sister...of course, we never fought, though... :rofl:

Seriously, though. Y'all will probably get closer after he goes to college. Hang in there!

Stiney
02-11-2007, 12:00 AM
Seriously, though. Y'all will probably get closer after he goes to college. Hang in there!

And maybe not until after you go to college. Sometimes it takes longer. :wall:

Stitch
02-11-2007, 01:17 AM
i agree, in 10 years, you wont even care and yall will be very close. people used to always say that to me and my brother, but i never believed it!! its true, though!

but now, it hurts you.
I completely understand. my little brother can say some really hurtful things.
he says things that he knows will really hurt, even if he doesnt mean them, just to "win" the arguement.
he used to make me cry a lot, and he is younger than me!

Just try to ignore him. i know its easier said than done, but when he starts acting like this, just get up and walk to your room and knit!
He seems like he is being very immature for his age. he is a senior in high school? he is acting like a child.
you come here and vent anytime you need! :heart:

just threaten to tell his girlfriends embarrassing things... :roflhard:
like he still wets the bed! :roflhard:

madametj
02-11-2007, 01:31 AM
my 15 yo lil sis and i get into sometimes. i guess u'd expect that from girls 1.5 yrs apart. yesterday i was talking to her in church and she flat out said "You smell like cow manure." i thought she was joking at first, be then she said she was serious and said in like 4 or 5 more times later. i got so made i just stopped talking to her, and whenever she talking to me, i snorted and made up my face like i smelled something bad.

My mom says i overreact and take things too seriously, but sometimes my sis can be really abrupt and the things she says really hurt me, and usually end up saying even worse things to get back at her. :verysad:

Liliyarn
02-11-2007, 02:54 AM
I am getting more and more intolerant of slobs....so me, I'd throw his clothes in the garbage...hide his keys....and after he brushed his teeth tell him that you cleaned the toilet with his tooth brush.....hide the charger to his phone...if he plays WOW, then delete all his characters...insult his intelligence by saying things like, "Is that all you can come up with? Why bother wasting your breath for such a lousey put down...a ten year old could do better", wage all out war to make his last days at home miserable....

but that is me...

My brother is 5 years older than me. He's an adult with his own child and wife and he still hasn't grown up. I'll happily trade. It would be a trade up...for me anyway.


just kidding here...really....i am...

Aquaria
02-11-2007, 03:17 AM
Okay, okay :rofl: I understand now, thanks guys! :) lol you guys are funny :rofl:

Oh well, my brother is not gonna stop me from knitting :rofl:

I think you are right Mason, maybe I shouldn't care about it too much :thinking:

Anyways! back to my knitting :teehee:

Yarnlady
02-11-2007, 08:52 AM
There had been fights like this a lot before, and I never won in any of those fights with himEinstein's definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. :verysad: He's not going to change unless he wants to. So don't get yourself in a position where he can do to you what he does best. :wall:

HamaLee
02-11-2007, 01:34 PM
I feel your pain Aquaria. I have two younger brothers close in age and the middle one and I used to get into it something awful. He'd say horrible things to a lot of my friends (that were also friends with him due to our closeness in age), he said mean awful hurtful things and I often felt them to be unprovoked (even though I'm sure I did something, who knows) and at certain points he'd even send me long emails telling me what a horrible, fake, needy, mean, awful person I was. This lasted up through my high school graduation and going away to college. When we were young we used to beat on each other too--definitely a major personality conflict.

Things are much better now (I'm 26, he's 24), but honestly--it will be a long long while before we're ever "close" and it used to frustrate the hell out of me when my mom or others would say "oh don't worry, you'll be best friends some day". Cuz you know what? Maybe we won't...after all, I'd never choose to be friends with someone who enjoyed making me cry on an almost daily basis.

Unfortunately I think it took the death of someone very close to me for him to finally cut all the crap entirely. I think he was bothered to see my cry openly, since I usually hid it. He also lives on the other side of the country so we don't see each other often enough to piss each other off...and now we're quite friendly. Maybe someday we'll even be friends...but I know how you feel and how much things can hurt--however petty. When people know how to push your buttons it HURTS! Maybe I'm too sensitive, but some of the things he said to me almost 10 years ago now will still make me cry.

I give you a big hug :hug: and I hope you'll have better luck ignoring your brother than I did. Honestly, the times where I could muster up the self-control to ignore rather than fight back rrreeallllly pissed him off! :teehee: Because in doing that, YOU are taking control of the situation and living him with no power (which is what he's being a dink about in the first place!)

janelanespaintbrush
02-11-2007, 02:10 PM
I think big brothers by definition are supposed to be mean and condescending. Anyone who's got a nice one is darn lucky. As a teenager, my brother used to fight with my Mom a lot, and was just plain evil to me. After he left home, things got easier, and these days, I rarely interact with him at all (he lives in another state). The funny thing is, now he's a very successful and popular MD who apparently is very good with his patients and extremely well-liked by his employees. Which totally has my Mom and I befuddled because we never thought he was capable of anything but berating others. It's almost as if he has these compartmentalized roles he plays, and to me, he's the evil brother instead of the generous boss. Of course, I haven't talked to him in a few years, so maybe he'd be nice to me now too. (Yeah, right! :teehee:)

Anyway, if your brother's in 12th grade, he'll probably be moving out soon enough, and hour home life should improve greatly. Just hang in there, and remember that if you let him bother you, you're giving him what he wants. It's a waste of your time to feel bad over people like that, no matter who they are. If you stop reinforcing his mean behavior by not allowing him to get a rise out of you, he might give up trying.

Aquaria
02-11-2007, 08:44 PM
Thanks guys! :) I hope that were true.
Seems like almost everybody had this sort of sibling problems when they were young :teehee:

But compared to my second brother, my oldest brother is really much much nicer. :shrug:

ps. Again, my brother is not gonna stop me from knitting!! :rofl:

HamaLee
02-11-2007, 08:59 PM
Again, my brother is not gonna stop me from knitting!! :rofl:
:cheering: :cheering:
Besides, he's just jealous! ;-)

Birdy
02-11-2007, 09:02 PM
I took a lot of Psychology courses in University, specifically in Youth and Adolescence.

Statistically, most of sibling fights happen between the siblings that are next to each other. So in a family of four, kid 1 & 2 are going to fit more than 1&3 or 1&4. Or 2& 1 and 2&3, but not as much 2 &4. (get what I mean?)

I am an only girl, and had 3 younger brothers. We did this kind of stuff a lot, but mostly it was physical.

The worst thing my brother's ever told me once was when I complained once to my mother that I never got asked on a date ever... in one voice my 3 brothers said,

"That's because you are butt ugly."

That haunted me for years. Then last year, we were talking about things, and not a one of them remembered saying that and they all appologized. I'm 30 now, and I let that bug me for about 15 years... and for them... it was nothing!

So... I hope you can let this go!

HamaLee
02-11-2007, 09:08 PM
That haunted me for years. Then last year, we were talking about things, and not a one of them remembered saying that and they all appologized. I'm 30 now, and I let that bug me for about 15 years... and for them... it was nothing!


Birdy that's SOO true! The things my brother said to hurt me the most, the things that still upset me to this day...I know that he doesn't even remember saying them! In fact, he probably forgot about them by the end of the day. Yet I still let it bother me. And really, he's turned out to be a pretty nice guy.

Carrying it around like that you really only hurt yourself...

Aquaria
02-11-2007, 11:03 PM
I took a lot of Psychology courses in University, specifically in Youth and Adolescence.

Statistically, most of sibling fights happen between the siblings that are next to each other. So in a family of four, kid 1 & 2 are going to fit more than 1&3 or 1&4. Or 2& 1 and 2&3, but not as much 2 &4. (get what I mean?)

I am an only girl, and had 3 younger brothers. We did this kind of stuff a lot, but mostly it was physical.

The worst thing my brother's ever told me once was when I complained once to my mother that I never got asked on a date ever... in one voice my 3 brothers said,

"That's because you are butt ugly."

That haunted me for years. Then last year, we were talking about things, and not a one of them remembered saying that and they all appologized. I'm 30 now, and I let that bug me for about 15 years... and for them... it was nothing!

So... I hope you can let this go!

Intersting story Birdy :teehee: yeah...perhaps that's why I went on with lots more fights with my second brother than my oldest brother :thinking: how interesting :?eyebrow:

I will try to let it go, as I've said, he's not gonna stop me from knitting! :roflhard:

mks22300
02-12-2007, 12:25 AM
Wow, reading all your comments puts me in the minority I guess. My brothers were actually nice to me compared to some of your brothers! Sure, we had our fights, but we all still talk to each other and we all like each other.

mwedzi
02-12-2007, 02:02 PM
:hug: Your brother is being a jerk. Unfortunately, this happens. Maybe in the future you'll be okay, but the future's a long way away! My brother wouldn't dare argue with my mother like that (he's 20 now, i'm 28 ). She would have killed him, really. My parents just would not put up with something like that even if he meant them getting into a bunch of trouble, i'm sure. I remember my brother snatching my keys and running away from me and throwing them in the toilet. :roflhard: Of course it was not funny then. Sounds like your brother, huh? Except my brother was 3 years old at the time. :roflhard: Just keep in your head when he says something like that to feel sorry for him that he's so slow in growing up. That was a really childish way to behave.

Aquaria
02-14-2007, 02:53 AM
Okay... sorry for posting this again :verysad: :pout:
But... this just doesn't seem to end... even if I tried to hang in there...

Today my older brother was asking whether there was an unused notebook that he could use for school journal writing. He wanted mom's blank notebook, the hard-cover, thicker one. Mom was gonna give it to him, but I said I have ones that are used specially for school purposes, they are unused, a bit thinner, paperback, but I had four of them. I went looked for them and gave all four to my brother, I said, instead of using mom's, he could use these, because mom might have to use her notebook.

He was not happy. He said he wanted to use mom's notebook because he has to write a lot. I said, but I have four of the thinner ones! If you add them up there are even more pages than mom's notebook's, what's the difference? Still he wasn't happy, well, I admit that I got a bit impatient and at that moment my tone of voice showed that I was getting mad. Immediately he fought back. I didn't try to fight back this time, but he just kept talking and talking, and the words were harsh(I cried secretly :pout: ). Until then my mom broke into the conversation and tried to explain to him how I was doing this for mom and asked him why he was so determined to use the other notebook. He said he didn't even want the TRASH FROM ME anymore. ( I guess he also liked mom's notebook better because it's hardcover and looks nice)

I thought, I had actually went and got the notebooks for you, so what is the reason for this? You didn't even say thank you or anything. He eventually got BOTH! because even my mom couldn't deal with him. I really could have taken the notebooks back, but somehow I didn't :wall: if I did, he would be using mom's notebook for sure......

so... thanks for reading this... I'm sorry because this doesn't have anything to do with you guys but :waah:

Stiney
02-14-2007, 10:32 AM
:hug: :hug: :hug:

Ugh, what a jerkface!

Don't feel bad, we've all been through that kind of stuff before.

99% of the time, it's not worth it for my brother and I to talk to each other, because it devolves into a fight.

It might be best for you to just avoid your brother as much as you can when you're both home. The less contact you have with him the better it will be for you. :hug:

Birdy
02-14-2007, 11:25 AM
:hug: I would try to just leave him be too, simply because it seems like he hasn't learned to respect your mother either. That tells me that no matter what you try, until he can treat your mother with respect you will certainly not get any from him either.

(I also have ideas about your mother, but as my son is 7, I think it best I keep my opinions to myself until I can speak with real knowledge).

janelanespaintbrush
02-14-2007, 12:07 PM
What a jerk! Is he that rude to everyone or just close family members? If he wanted the nicer notebook, he could've said so without belittling you, especially since you were just trying to be helpful. Geez! :!!!: :-x :grrr:

auburnchick
02-14-2007, 12:30 PM
Hmmm...I'm the mom of a 15 and 12 yo. I would not let my children treat each other this way (can you say "BUY YOUR OWN NOTEBOOK????"). :teehee:

Much disrespect is going on here, but you don't have control over that. You only can control YOUR reactions. Be the big person...don't fight back. Period.

I think what you probably need to do is disengage yourself from conversations that turn rude. You did the right thing by offering to share your stuff. Once he got mad, you needed to exit the conversation and let your mom handle it.

Once again, I think you should just ignore him and what he says. People who feel insecure put down others. Period. It's not fair, but that's the way it is.

Let your parents handle your brother.

I'm sorry you're going through this. :hug: Being a teen is hard!!!

DonnaS
02-14-2007, 12:42 PM
If he is really getting on your nerves in an argument, threaten to tell the girls his age what a slob he is, that will always scare a kid his age as girls are what he thinks about 99.9% of the time. :rofl:

Pictures posted on myspace would be awesome for blackmail :teehee:

auburnchick
02-14-2007, 02:20 PM
If he is really getting on your nerves in an argument, threaten to tell the girls his age what a slob he is, that will always scare a kid his age as girls are what he thinks about 99.9% of the time. :rofl:

Pictures posted on myspace would be awesome for blackmail :teehee:

Actually, get a picture of him first thing in the morning with his hair all out of skew and face not shaven. S-c-a-r-y...

:teehee:

Aquaria
02-14-2007, 08:00 PM
Thanks guys :)
I'll try to ignore more next time, and let my mom deal with it. But we are getting into the situation when sometimes even my mom couldn't deal with him you know :shrug:

auburnchick
02-15-2007, 01:17 AM
Thanks guys :)
I'll try to ignore more next time, and let my mom deal with it. But we are getting into the situation when sometimes even my mom couldn't deal with him you know :shrug:

I hear the need for good ole Uncle Sam. He'd come home a totally different person.

Sorry your mom is starting to have problems with your brother too. :(

redwitch
02-15-2007, 02:54 AM
If you're collecting revenge ideas.. sign up his e-mail address online for spam, especially ones advertising drugs to enhance the size of his c***.

Sarah