View Full Version : OT - My Mother in Law is coming....
02-21-2007, 04:33 PM
My MIL is coming tomorrow from New Mexico. Her sister lives out here and passed away yesterday. First, I've never met my MIL and I've been married for three years :oops: nor did we know her sister lives (lived) 25 miles from us...Close family as you can probably tell.
I'm shy and don't entertain strangers very well. I have no idea how long she is planning to stay, what her routine will be, etc. I'm having an anxiety attack at the whole idea...ugh! :oo:
02-21-2007, 04:36 PM
Just be yourself--I always hear that boys marry women like their mothers. If he loves you, I'm sure she will too...
geeze...am I really like my mil??? I don't think we have much in common....
02-21-2007, 04:39 PM
Aww Honey don't worry.
She's gonna have a lot on her mind so just be yourself and it'll all be fine.
Sorry to hear about your aunt-in-law, but its at times like that when family need family. This could bring you all closer.
My family is quite distant too and I know I always get nervous when I have to see someone after a long time.
Don't forget also, she's not a stranger - she's family. Give her a hug and make her feel welcome and at home.
Is she staying in your house?
nadja la claire
02-21-2007, 04:53 PM
Christy's right about being yourself, but not all men marry women like their mothers. Some men marry women who are completely unlike their mothers, like my DH.
Be yourself and I'm sure when she sees how much you love her son she'll like you. Also be respectful, even though I didn't always agree with my MIL I always treated her with respect. Talk to her I'm sure she's going to need your support at this time. Let her know that you're there for her.
Are you a good cook or baker? If so find out what her favorite dinner or dessert is and make it for her I'm sure that will make her feel at home. Find out if she likes to knit.
Lastly, as far as her routine is concerned have your DH discuss that with her, ie, how long she's staying, when she would like to go to bed, when she would like to get up, etc.
If it helps, my MIL is from New Mexico and she's awesome. Maybe all MILs from NM are awesome?
It sounds like your anxiety is coming from the "unknown". Can you sit down with DH and find out what to expect? He may not know either, but he can at least give you some information based on the fact that he's known her all his like. For example, is there anything special you should have in the house? What does she like for breakfast? Does she stay up late or get up early? Will she want to "do something"? Will she want alone time with her son? Maybe knowing these things will help you feel better about the whole thing.
02-21-2007, 05:36 PM
Remember that she is feeling just as nervous about whether you will like her, whether her routine will inconvenience you, etc.
02-21-2007, 07:02 PM
:hug: It's going to be hard, and you might get to feeling crazy by the time you get to the end of this visit.
BUT! With all that she has to deal with at this time, it isn't actually the worst of times for you to met her for the first time.
Better than if she were to be fully rested and coming for a real "Get to know all about the gal who married my son" visit.
Also, if it helps, blame anything that bothers you during this time on the fact that she's grieving her sister's death. It will help you get through this time :hug:
[and have Molly Maid come and do a full clean, a caterer to prep you some awesome meals that you can flourish out, etc .... Just Kidding, I agree with those who said to just be yourself. ]
:hug: Hugs again because I remember the first time my MIL met me :hug:
02-21-2007, 07:23 PM
Thanks everyone. I do feel better. It was nice to be reminded (in a kind way) that it's not all about me.
Now I'm going home to think of ways to make her stay comfortable. She is arriving tomorrow morning at 8 AM and has an open ended ticket :?eyebrow:
02-21-2007, 08:25 PM
You'll be fine :) I was terrified when I first met my MIL-- hubby and I had been together all of 8 months and we were already engaged. We ended up to be great friends, so you never know what might happen!