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View Full Version : OT: Pregnant and sad...


melissa.atkins
05-10-2007, 12:23 AM
I am 36 weeks pregnant and for some reason I feel really sad... I miss my family, but at the same time I know I made the decision to move to another country to be with the man I love... but I cant stop thinking how much I would love to be able to go see my parents and give them a big hug. They have always being there and I am glad I could go see them last february, but it isnt the same. Id love to go see my mom right now and have some coffee together...
Im sorry Im rambling... I would call them now, but it is almost midnight over there and if I did, they would freak out thinking that something is wrong...

brokenblossoms
05-10-2007, 12:26 AM
Aww *hugs* Will they be able to fly out when the baby is born?

melissa.atkins
05-10-2007, 12:32 AM
Aww *hugs* Will they be able to fly out when the baby is born?
My mom is coming forsure to stay with us for at least a month. My dad might wait a little bit though.

psammeadred
05-10-2007, 12:35 AM
I'm sorry you're feeling sad. I know it's hard to be separated from loved ones at times like this.

Many :hug: and :muah: to you!

snowbear
05-10-2007, 12:40 AM
Big Bear Hugs... I know it's hard.. My daughter went through similar.. she was 1,000 miles away w/ both children.

One thing though.. remember.. your parents love you and know you..Your mother would understand you needing to talk w/ her even if it is midnight!

My daughter did it more than once... She just needed to hear my voice, and for me to make her laugh..

Don't underestimate your parents understanding...

Hang in there.. and know you have a family here who cares also!

melissa.atkins
05-10-2007, 12:45 AM
Thank you!!!! I had a hard day at work, I think I am getting to the point where I just feel comfortable at home seeing no one but my hubby and my big belly... I will call my mom tomorrow morning when I wake up. :)

GinnyG
05-10-2007, 06:39 AM
AWWWWWWWW :grphug: I'm sorry!!!!!

It's the hormones and where you are in your pregnancy. It's NORMAL AND NATURAL to miss your family.

Ronda
05-10-2007, 07:06 AM
:hug: My parents live 4 hours away, and I have felt that feeling many, many times but especially when pregnant or right after my baby was born. My heart goes out to you. :hug:

quiltbugj
05-10-2007, 07:43 AM
Please mention this to your doctor. Post partum depression can actually start during pregnancy. Isolating oneself is a hallmark of depression. Better to mention to your doctor and let him/her assess.

ecb
05-10-2007, 08:14 AM
you DO need your family at a time like this
your mom will understand even if you call at the middle of the night
any level of isolation SUCKS
but when you are pregnant, its even worse

hugs to you
hope things get better
and DO reach out when you need it

ecb

VickyS456
05-10-2007, 08:28 AM
(((HUGS)))

I had both my babies here in Europe, and my parents were back home in NYC. Neither of them were able to visit afterwards, either :(

Do you and your parents have webcams? We used ours a lot during that time. It's not the same as being there, but it's better than nothing.

Quiltlady
05-10-2007, 08:29 AM
I'm sorry you can't be with your family members right now.

When I had all three of my children I did not live anywhere near my parents. My first child was born in Japan as my dh was stationed there.

Our second child was born in TExas and our third and last child was born in Alaska. But I have to say that it worked out well for me because I always made close friends where ever we lived and they became "family" in a way. Being in the military does that for you and it was a blessing.

Back then there was NO such thing as EMAIL and boy how that would have been WONDERFUL to have when we lived in Japan. But we sent tape cassettes to each other. Now I know I'm dating myself. :teehee:

ironmaiden
05-10-2007, 08:42 AM
:hug:

My parents were very far away when my daughter was born - and they still are (she's 3). It's hard - sometimes I just want to be able to sit and chat with my mother. And I know it's hard for them to never see their grandchild (they have a few times, but a few times isn't much in 3 years).

Good luck and congratulations though!

larudden
05-10-2007, 09:26 AM
Oh my gosh, I wish I could jump right through this keyboard and give you a huge :hug:

You said that your mom will be visiting for a month and, since you're at 38 weeks, it shouldn't be too long now, huh? Hang in there, sweetie. Just keep checking in with us and we can be your moms until your mom is there by your side.

The last few weeks of any pregnancy are filled with sooooooo much emotion. It WILL get better, honest!

Give your mom a call. I know for a FACT that she won't care what time it is. My 3 girls do not live nearby and I would just love to get a call from either of them at any time.

By the number of responses to your post, it's quite obvious that there are lots of people here who care for you and will help you through this. That's what I LOVE about artists! We're so emotional and nurturing.

Blessings,
Leslie

HamaLee
05-10-2007, 09:33 AM
Your KH family sends you hugs and kisses :muah: :hug:

An emotional rollercoaster is probably quite normal for pregnancy, but good for you for posting and letting it out. Sometimes it relieves the pressure and sadness a bit just to have told someone else how you're feeling.

And call your mom today! She'll be so happy to hear from you and I bet it will give you an emotional boost.

AnnaT
05-10-2007, 10:07 AM
Oh, I really sympathize with you! I am in the same position as you (minus the pregnancy) and REALLY miss my mom. I just sent her two boxes full of surprises for Mother's Day.

Keep reminding yourself that she will be with you soon!! :D

jodstr2
05-10-2007, 10:36 AM
:hug: :hug: :hug: hugs for melissa :hug: :hug: :hug:
feel better soon, sweetie! :heart:

Abbily
05-10-2007, 11:35 AM
I'm so sorry you're feeling sad! I think I would feel the same way in your position. I agree with Snowbear- I do think your mom would understand even if you did call her at midnight. As a mom myself (although my kids are very young) I would want them to call me anytime they needed me. Although it's true that my first reaction to the phone ringing at midnight would be fear that something is wrong... but I'd still want you to call me. :)

BIG HUGS to you! :hug:

melissa.atkins
05-10-2007, 01:37 PM
:muah: Girls all of you made my day... I feel better today, I called my mom, we talked for a while about everything... there is a chance she might come a couple weeks earlier, but that depends on her work.

Its been a hard pregnancy although I have never been pregnant before I dont think I could do this again... everyone says I will change my mind, I really dont think so... yesterday night I was so sad I made a list of all the things that happened in the last few months and it doesnt look nice... I had really bad morning sickness and migraines, which I can take because they are part of being pregnant... I work at a bank, I was robbed in january, not hurt but it affected me lots... had to go to therapy sessions for that... around the same time, my doctor found a lump on my breast and they had tests done, they even scheduled a biopsy, when we went to have it done they couldnt find the lump anymore(which was a blessing, but still lots of stress)... I flew to see my parents in february, it was good to see them but while I was there one of my aunts passed away with cancer, I couldnt make it to the funeral because I was leaving that morning; the day after my bday in march I was diagnosed with Bell's palsy... I couldnt move one side of my face for three weeks, they couldnt put me on steroids because of the pregnancy, so I had to deal with it, I took one week off from work with a doctor's note and they refused to apply it, so I didnt get paid for one full week, they wouldnt let me use my paid time off for the year either because "I hadn't accrued it yet"... while I had Bell's palsy my husband's grandfather passed away, I had to go to the funeral and show up with the paralisis... my manager had been telling me before I got pregnant that she was going to promote me, she even mentioned that during my review in march, but im still waiting on that... my husband says that they wont do it because I am going on a leave when I have the baby and they would have to pay me more for that leave than if they wait until I come back.

I have been so worried for the last few weeks thinking that there might be something wrong with my baby and all these things that have happened have been just small things preparing me for something worse... I know I shouldnt think like that being that so far nothing has gone wrong with my little one.... but I can't avoid it...

Im sorry I brought all this up...

Thank you so much for being there my KH friends!! :muah:

VickyS456
05-10-2007, 01:54 PM
(((Melissa))) That's a lot to go through in such a short amount of time, especially with being pregnant on top of it. I hope your mom can come a bit earlier and take care of you and let you simply rest before the baby comes.

Abbily
05-10-2007, 02:08 PM
Aww, Melissa, that is a lot to go through!! Don't apologize for bringing it up- if you need to get it out, then go ahead! I had a bunch of scary stuff happen when I was pregnant with my first baby, including some problems with the pregnancy, and she came out perfect, as did her little sister. Don't let people freak you out with their comments- you dont' need to decide right now about doing it again! If you want to later, do it. If you don't, then DON'T! :)

snowbear
05-10-2007, 04:19 PM
Honey, If I went through all that.. ( minus the pregnancy) I'd be nuts. You have every right to be upset and nervous.

Then w/ harmones going crazy.. .. * Big bear Hugs..

Don't even apologize. We are here cause we are a big family. We help each other by listening and just understanding.

Know you are normal.. Know that it is very understandable to be upset.

Let yourself be you. Your mother knows what you've been through.. Let her and us... ( your adoptive family) give you the support you need right now.

Hang in there... while the last month seems sooo long... it will go by...

Big Bear Hugs..

KnittingNat
05-10-2007, 04:55 PM
Big hugs :hug: :hug:
After going through all of this comfort yourself with the thought that you have only 2 big things left - the delivery itself and then - enjoying your baby :cheering: So use the leave to relax and rest and enjoy the help of your mom. And don't be so decisive about another pregnancy - they can be very different...
Good luck, good health AND HUGS AGAIN

DQ
05-10-2007, 05:06 PM
:hug: :hug: :hug: Lots and lots of hugs :hug: :hug: :hug:

melissa.atkins
05-11-2007, 01:21 PM
Thank you girls!

Yesterday was a better day... my hubby and I spent the whole day together since it was my day off and we had childbirth classes in the afternoon... I am trying to focus on the good side of everything, trying to clean and get things ready for my little one. Hopefully he/she will be here soon and everything will be a thing of the past... :)

Abbily
05-11-2007, 02:17 PM
Don't forget to let us know when your little one arrives. :) After you have recovered and are feeling up to hanging out here again, of course! :)

melissa.atkins
05-12-2007, 10:43 AM
Oh well... I think the baby is coming soon!! Yesterday was a hard day at work, I had contractions ALL day long and although they didnt follow a pattern or forced me to go to the hospital, I can feel something is going on.

I am not going to work today since I dont want to risk being there and not having the chance to leave if I feel in pain or something...

I will keep you all updated on how it goes... :)

threesmom
05-12-2007, 04:39 PM
:hug: :hug: :hug: to you!! I hope you still are on an upswing - pregnancy, particularily at the end, can be so difficult. It's even worse when everyone expects you to feel happy because you're pregnant, and you just don't, whether because you feel bad physically or you have lots going on. And you have LOTS going on! It's hard, but try to focus and enjoy this time - it's the only time you'll have this connection with your baby - I sometimes wish I had paid more attention with mine! And I agree with the one poster who mentioned watching out for post-partum depression - I had it pretty badly after my son was born. I have been dealing with depression for forever (which made me more of a risk), but this was just awful - some days I felt like I just couldn't function. I would hate this to happen to you after all that you had to deal with during your pregnancy - just take care of yourself, and don't be afraid to ask for help!