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View Full Version : Knitting maintains sanity, really


newamy
06-10-2007, 09:22 PM
My parents were visiting this weekend for my daughter's ballet recital. To make a long story short my mom drives me crazy. She likes to visit and talk and yak and that's all fine but it's all about TV and inconsequential things and she gets very opinionated (and doesn't realize it) she criticizes some of my life choices (like where I live) she is a poor listener and she wears me out. She is a very nice person and a good mom in her way- she just expects me to be what I once was and what she hoped I would become and doesn't always accept me as I am. Now last year my very good friend's mother died much too young and I keep saying to myself "I should be glad to have a mother to drive me crazy."

So through much of our visit I knitted, and knitted and knitted! Some of the time I didn't even feel like knitting but it kept me calm and polite and nice. I finished the back and half the right front of a cardigan I'm working on. I have more than half a dishcloth done too. I was able to visit calmly and pleasantly. So I think it helped to do that during all this visiting. But I'm still mentally worn out.

snowbear
06-10-2007, 10:13 PM
I agree. Knitting can help you focus, and help you to remain calm. Regarding your mother, I truly understand. My mother felt she should (& did) tell me what to do till she died. It was her way & I understood that.

I only wish I had knitted then to help me remain calm.


I'm so glad you found knitting as a way of remembering what is important.. (That she is still here)


Big Bear Hugs

Mariblue
06-10-2007, 10:21 PM
Good job using your knitting to keep the peace. :hug:I know what it feels like to be mentally worn out from relatives (my in-laws). We've got a family reunion coming up in a couple months, and my knitting will be coming along with me for the ride.

Jan in CA
06-10-2007, 10:29 PM
I don't know what my mother would be like since she died when I was 20, but I do have a MIL that would drive a saint to drink! :doh: Glad the knitting helped you out!

projectgal
06-10-2007, 10:57 PM
When I visit my mom and dad, they like to watch TV and chat, so I can get a lot of knitting done. I generally make a dishcloth or two while I'm there. Mom likes the dishcloths and I don't have to pay too much attention to the knitting. I can still feel productive even if we're just sitting for hours.

My MIL is nosy and makes comments and asks questions she shouldn't, so I bring something a little more complicated so that I can pretend I'm counting stitches instead of avoiding her questions! (Yes, it sounds passive aggresive, but if you knew her you would understand.)

At one time I could use the kid's constant interruptions as a distraction, but darn them, now that they are 3 and 6, I have to use a new strategy now that they can entertain themselves for the most part.

MrsJSD
06-11-2007, 10:01 AM
Knitting absolutely keeps me calm IF it is the kind of project I can do steadily and rhythmically. The rhythmic motions of the work are comforting. If I am trying to work something out or correct a mistake, I find the mental activity involved can distract me from brooding about things like terrorism and global warming.

I read the above posts with interest. My mother is 82, I am 52, and my daughter...is only 8. I'm a late bloomer.

Anyway...my mother is still a little annoying. It would probably be worse if I lived near her, but after a few days around her I start to feel unhappy. Of course, when I was younger it much much worse. I was 44 when my daughter was born and my mother would still tell me to be careful when I walked up and down the stairs carrying her.

I am worried now about how much my 8 year old resents almost any comment, request, suggestion, and of course any command that I give her. She is 8 but acts like a teenager. We are afraid that we are really in for it the next 10 years. I predict I will be knitting a lot as she grows into a young woman.

sara_jayne
06-11-2007, 10:03 AM
I'm glad that you had your knitting to escape into while dealing with your mother. It is the only way that I've remained sane around my mother-in-law! It is mentally exhausting to put up with it, but at least your hands were busy!

I hope you can unwind now that you are at home! :hug:

HamburgKnitter
06-11-2007, 10:21 AM
I agree wholeheartedly! I love my mother dearly, but she drives me nuts too....so I can relate!

Sanibelle
06-11-2007, 11:26 AM
I totally understand.... My MIL lives with us in a 2 bedroom townhouse. She is 95 years old and although she has lived in this country for over 55 years for the most part she just speaks Italian. She is afraid the leave our house so she is ALWAYS there.

So every night when I get home, I just go upstairs and pull out my knitting.... it is the only thing that keeps me from going crazy some nights.

My mom lives in Fl so I do not get to see her that often but when she come to visit we usually go cehck out a bunch of yarn stores in the city. Even though she does not knit she loves to do that with me. My mom is really cool!

mum2caden
06-11-2007, 11:47 AM
Knitting is my stress reliever.. Luckily it's not MY mother that is annoying but my MIL, however, I will be staying with my parents for a month (summer vacation for my son and I) starting next week, and I am sure I will use knitting to help my sanity- since i will be seeing the in laws too.

I also used knitting to help me out during my college exams all this year- the whole month before exams I was constantly knitting!

msoebel
06-13-2007, 11:11 AM
Aah. The joys of mothers. The only thing that keeps my tongue in check is knowing that one day my dd will be rolling her eyes at her own CRAZY mother.

My dh asks me weekly how on earth I turned out so normal, considering I came from such a family of lunatics!

I, too, knit a lot when spending time with my mom.

Misty

Knitting_Guy
06-13-2007, 07:28 PM
I can relate.

I had some engine troubles with my truck today and had to stop to try and have it repaired. I really didn't have time and it was very stressful.

While they were working on the truck I was knitting. It really does have a calming effect.

When the service writer needed some information from me she came over and when she saw what I was doing (Irish hiking scarf) she asked about my knitting. It was ten minutes before she remembered what she came over to ask me. :rofling:

feministmama
06-13-2007, 10:17 PM
So through much of our visit I knitted, and knitted and knitted! Some of the time I didn't even feel like knitting but it kept me calm and polite and nice. I finished the back and half the right front of a cardigan I'm working on. I have more than half a dishcloth done too. I was able to visit calmly and pleasantly. So I think it helped to do that during all this visiting. But I'm still mentally worn out.

WOW! that much knitting must mean that much stress!

I feel your pain. I'm another person whose mother drives them crazy. But she does a lot of crafty stuff too like scrapbooking and quilting so she takes me to craft stores so she can't be *too* bad :teehee:

Yes knitting is a perfect de-stresser. I know the yarn harlot must have a nice pithy saying about this, I just can't think of one off the top of my head:think: Anyway, just want you to know I got your back:hug:

newamy
06-14-2007, 12:27 AM
Thanks everyone for allowing me to vent.

Now that it has been a few days and some distance I feel better. But I have to go to my parent's house in a little over a week. Ack! I do enjoy the silence when I return home. I have kids and there is still more calm here than at my parent's house.

Interestingly I get along fabulously with my mom-in-law. She is very careful not to have any expectations of me or my husband. She is very laid back and easy going, supportive when need be. Often very helpful. I'm very lucky in that regard.