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View Full Version : My Rant - Dress Code at Work


sinistral_needler
08-15-2007, 10:19 AM
Okay .. so maybe I am being a total commie here .. but has anyone noticed that people at work tend to dress way too casually? It drives me nuts! :gah: I try to wear dress pants and heels periodically .. and generally the things that I wear would NOT be mistaken as beach wear .. but most people's work wear (especially the ladies) is getting soo casual .. it's unprofessional. One gal I saw this morning was wearing a belly shirt, hipster pants and flip-flops. I think we are lucky that we didn't see her in her pj's!

Today I am wearing tan jeans and a peachy v-neck top .. so I am not saying that I look 'corporate' all the time .. but I think the casual dress code has gone too far. :grrr:

What do you think???

feministmama
08-15-2007, 10:54 AM
where do you work?

zebstriped
08-15-2007, 10:57 AM
At my work it's the men dressed inappropriately. Sweatpants (ugh!) and A-shirts really look slobby at work. We also have lots of summer interns, and the young girls wear belly shirts and flip flops. I'm always amazed!

sinistral_needler
08-15-2007, 10:57 AM
I work in at a manufacturing plant, however I work in the front office. The office staff rarely, if ever, go out into the plant. If and when they do, there are long jackets that cover your clothing and none of the product will stain your clothes. (PS, we make cheese spread - nothing much that we make will really hurt your clothes.)

Stiney
08-15-2007, 11:22 AM
Well, if people aren't following the dress code, then it's up to managers to speak to them.

I work in publishing, which is notoriously lax. Technically, flip-flops are a no-no but I wear them anyway because it's too hot outside for other shoes. But we're also allowed to wear jeans all summer, as well as on Fridays the rest of the year, so :shrug:

msoebel
08-15-2007, 11:28 AM
I work in the engineering department of a state university. On my floor, are all of the project managers (engineers and architects) that handle construction on campus, and the finance people that handle the money for the all of construction on campus.

Flip flops are not appropriate office wear, even if you do work in a casual environment.

I do not want to see your belly.:zombie:

Jean with holes are not really office wear.

"Hooters" t-shirts are okay to wear to work....if you work at a Hooters restaurant.

Misty

iza
08-15-2007, 11:38 AM
I understand what you mean. Sometimes people aren't aware of the image they are projecting. However, in a sense it's unfair... every human being should be treated with the same respect, no matter what they wear, right? Of course, the real world is not that like that...

It's very possible though that this girl just doesn't know what it means to dress appropriately at work (nobody ever told her), or that she can't find clothes that fit her? I know I have a LOT of problems finding business type of clothes. I wear size 0, sometimes 00 or smaller. Most stores that sell business clothes don't have these sizes, or their size 00 are ridiculously big for me.:shrug: Finding a pair of pants is always a nightmare!

sinistral_needler
08-15-2007, 11:47 AM
Flip flops are not appropriate office wear, even if you do work in a casual environment.

I do not want to see your belly.:zombie:

Jean with holes are not really office wear.

"Hooters" t-shirts are okay to wear to work....if you work at a Hooters restaurant.

Misty

Thank you Misty for saying what I didn't. People can, and will, dress however they want to outside of work. Express yourself all you want! Doesn't bother me at all. You set your own dress standards, when you are not at work.

Iza, re:the person in question 'knowing better' or not .. she is around 35 and really should 'know better' .. and she is probably size 8 - 10, so she should not have a problem finding the correct size ..

chrislt8
08-15-2007, 12:44 PM
Oh! Sinistral_needler I agree with you so very much! I miss the days when we had work (or school) clothes, play clothes, dress clothes, etc. I find that the casual dress also leads to more casual behavior in the workplace and that the lines of appropriateness and professionalism keep getting blurrier.

Personally, I want to feel "different" on the weekends and love to throw on my jeans and t-shirt and feel like I am off - or, conversly, a pretty dress with some cleavage and feel like I am dressed to the nines and ready for a night on the town At the same time, when I wear jeans to work I find that my mindset is different and I just don't work quite as productively and lose a little bit of that awareness that I am "on the job".

And, to finish my bit, I can't tell you how much it turns me off to go to the bank and hand over my money to a teller in a belly shirt, capris and flip flops....geez, talk about confidence instilling! Okay, climbing off my soapbox now....

scout52
08-15-2007, 12:52 PM
WOw i must the only person that feels different. I work at a law firm and its so refreshing not to have to wear a suit everyday at work. (and saves me lots of money considering i too wear a size 0 and being only 5 feet finding a suit can bring you to tears). Working long hours in uncomfortable clothing can be demorilizing. my work sees it as a way to make everyone equal. that way no one knows right off who is the partner and who is the lowly mail clerk. everyone gets treated with respect. and we are a very well respected firm. and then it a chance to dress up when i do have to go to a hearing.

marykz
08-15-2007, 01:57 PM
I work in a gov't office, it had a "casual Friday policy" when I joined, and about 8 years ago they went to "business casual" all the time. It was great at first: everyone in khakis and nice shirts, or cardigan or sweater sets with (comfortable) nice looking skirts, or the like. soon, the jeans started creeping in, then they got rattier. the support staff started wearing belly shirts and bedroom slippers. (really!!) men in birkenstocks and board shorts. (i do not want to see your unmanicured hairy feet!)

Then, the support staff wonders why they don't get as much respect. and junior employees wonder why they might not be getting promoted?

BUT the management refuses to specify a "dress code" that spells out what is, and is not appropriate. A few years back they put out a memo basically saying "you are all professionals and growns ups and we don't have to tell you how to dress."

But now, I work at home, so anything goes!! When I do go in for meetings, it is always the dressier side of business casual for me.

Is it fair to judge people or treat them differently b/c of how they are dressed? No. But it happens. Every so often when a new female employee is under my direction and is dressing inappropriately I tell her (unofficially and not as a management type reprimand) that while she can wear what she wants, she will get farther in the job if people are listening to what she says and not staring at exposed cleavage.

PS- for those who have trouble finding suits etc for small sizes- I usually took all my "good suits" to be altered to fit me exactly at the local tailor/ dry cleaner. Well worth the $45-$50 to me. I know that isn't an option for everyone, but if you are paying $200+ for a good suit to begin with, it ought to fit perfectly!

just my 2 cents...

debinoz
08-15-2007, 02:08 PM
Everyone deserves the same amount of respect. I was always taught that it wasn't how you look, it's how you act. If the person is getting their job done, I don't see where it matters what they have on.(I would, however, draw the line if they were buck naked) Of course I may be a little prejudiced on this since all our extra money goes to clothes for the kids and I haven't had new shirt, pants, or shoes in almost 3 years.

sinistral_needler
08-15-2007, 02:09 PM
Hi Scout,
My rant isn't so much about casual work environments per se, but about how very casual some people can get. It can also be demoralizing to see people who go to the casual extreme. (For me anyway.)

Kaydee
08-15-2007, 02:14 PM
I usually dress business casual when I go to work, nice pants/skirt and a top. I usually wear flip flops (in summer) or ugg boots (in winter) to work since I take the bus and change into my shoes when I get there but there are times that I've kept my flip flops on when there aren't many people in to office, or I'll have them on at my desk and slip on my heels/shoes when I'm getting up to do something. There are times when I am just about the only one in the office (floating holidays like Columbus day) that I will dress down and wear jeans but I think I can count on one hand the amount of times I've worn jeans to work in the past year.

McKnitty
08-15-2007, 02:48 PM
One time I rode the elevator with a woman who works on a different floor and for a different company, and her jeans were so low cut that when she got off the elevator you couldn't help but see her purple thong and, well, you know, the place where the thong goes. Icky! :shock:

Is it asking too much to keep the private parts private?

cheesiesmom
08-15-2007, 03:36 PM
I remember when women wore hats and gloves, hoisery (before pantihose) and heels, dresses (with a slip underneath so there was no show through). And that was mon-fri, all 4 seasons, to work, to go "downtown" (the major shopping area in the city), and on Sunday to church (no malls and stores weren't open). Pants were unheard of for women in the workplace and casual was for after work or week-ends. Flip-flops were for the beach or shower room. While relaxing the code is OK, I think just a lot of people don't get the difference between casual and slovenly. And (just to be really old) I think the way people dress also affects their whole attitude, i.e., courtesy, language. Please and thank-you were more common, the f-bomb wasn't heard on a regular basis and I can't remember incidents of road rage.

You didn't have to have a ton of money or shop at the best stores to dress appropriately. It did take a bit of pride in oneself and a little respect for your job and co-workers.

If you look at old photos (from the 30's and 40's) of the crowd at a baseball game, all the men were wearing hats. (Not the freebies the team gives out; real hats.)

While we probably don't want to go that far back, I think we've taken casual and turned it in to careless. When one of our attorneys has to go to court with a client, we have to give them strict instructions on how to dress, otherwise it would be t-shirts and ripped jeans, and sandals.

Sorry, I'll crawl back into my cave.

Gladys

vaknitter
08-15-2007, 03:41 PM
HAHA the post about seeing the thong and where the thong goes made me think....our children our learning bad habits for dress and self care as well. I work in a children's hospital and I see girls coming in with those low cut jeans, thongs, tattoos, make-up, piercing, exposed cleavage etc etc. I am 30 and if my father saw me dressed the way these girls (and some mothers) come in dressed he would turn me out of his house. Heck, he blew a gasket when I got my ears pierced a second time. Can't image what he would have done if I came home with a tattoo or a bull ring through my nose.

I guess everyone is raised differently and that's what makes the world go round.

iza
08-15-2007, 03:46 PM
PS- for those who have trouble finding suits etc for small sizes- I usually took all my "good suits" to be altered to fit me exactly at the local tailor/ dry cleaner.

It's exactly what I do too. Sometimes it's a lot of money but I prefer to look professional. If I wear too casual clothes, people treat me like a teenager and I HATE THAT.:wall:

auburnchick
08-15-2007, 04:01 PM
WOw i must the only person that feels different. I work at a law firm and its so refreshing not to have to wear a suit everyday at work. (and saves me lots of money considering i too wear a size 0 and being only 5 feet finding a suit can bring you to tears). Working long hours in uncomfortable clothing can be demorilizing. my work sees it as a way to make everyone equal. that way no one knows right off who is the partner and who is the lowly mail clerk. everyone gets treated with respect. and we are a very well respected firm. and then it a chance to dress up when i do have to go to a hearing.

I work in a law firm as well, but the dress code is just a little more casual than suit wear. However, it is more formal than the school I used to work at. At first I was nervous about having to dress up, but because the policy falls in the middle (nice capris, blouses, no polos or flip flops, heeled thong-like shoes okay...), it's actually okay.

I have noticed that when I run errands after work (I leave at 1:00), I get a bit more respect than when I wearing my grunge wear...jeans and flip flops.

misha rf
08-15-2007, 04:31 PM
Generally, I've not had issues with dress codes. I once worked in a library that banned all blue denim (even if it was a skirt or vest). You could wear jeans on Fridays, but they couldn't be blue. I was mad b/c I generally don't wear denim other than blue, & resented having to purchase something I wouldn't normally wear just to wear denim on "casual Friday." Sometimes the pages would come in with ripped clothing, or shirts with sayings on them, and they'd be sent home to change. Paid staff were expected to dress "business casual," even if you were off-site, like at a conference. I got to go to one while I worked there. Most people got to wear their jeans. I felt incredibly overdressed in skirts, but my boss's boss was there, so I didn't dare wear jeans.

scout52
08-15-2007, 04:49 PM
I also spend the money on getting my suits tailored or i just look like a child playing dress up. I'm 30 but i still get carded for get this not just liquor but the MOVIES!!! people still think i'm in high school and that's with my suit. No one believes i'm a lawyer.

I took a pro bono case. I went in my best suit to meet my client and she burst into tears thinking that they sent her a child. it was quite funny actually. she felt bad afterwards.

My firm expects you to work hard so they want you to be comfortable. They expect you to arrive professionally for all hearings, depositions, client meetings etc but anything else, clean casual clothing.

I didn't see my boss in a suit until 3 months after I started working there. Though in my firm. its the support staff that wields all the power.

zazzu
08-15-2007, 05:02 PM
As long as people wear clothing that covers their bodies and doesn't smell bad, I don't care what they wear. IMO, our society is way too hung up on appearances.

The expectation to dress up every week is why I stopped going to church. I only dress up for funerals, weddings and (paid) work....because I feel obligated, not because I like it.

This is a really interesting thread! :)

orcoastknitter
08-15-2007, 07:24 PM
The place I work right now is pretty casual. It's a family publishing business. My typical work attire are capri's with a nice top and shoes (flip flops are ok). I was told when I started working here all that mattered to them was that my clothes were clean and neat. I am a plus sized gal and very self conscious about what I wear right down to my shoes. I am little wacky that way. :rofl: My father was a stickler for neatness. I kinda picked up his habits. I am always checking for wrinkles, loose threads, tags. :roll:

Susan P.
08-15-2007, 07:31 PM
I don't support the wearing of flip flops from an occupational, health and safety perspective. Even if you just drop a stapler on your foot that can cause a lot of damage. By all means slip them on to go outside for lunch but I would not accept flip flops within an office space itself.

Apart from this, I actually don't care that much although I don't like seeing bellies or ultra short skirts. You see some girls/women who can't even reach for a sheet of paper without you seeing their underwear. No thanks.

CateKnits
08-15-2007, 10:30 PM
I wear scrubs to work.
Actually, I hate scrub tops, so I get away with scrub pants and plain colored, reasonable length t-shirts.
The funny thing? I HAVE to go home and change before I'll do anything else - even go to the grocery store. I feel icky being out in public in my work clothes. My department has the option of scrubs or business casual (men must wear ties, no open toed shoes for anyone, and if you're a tech like me, you'd be insane to wear heels), so if I know I need to go out after work, I'll do the "business casual" thing.

zip
08-15-2007, 11:15 PM
Before my current job, I worked for a group of physicians that had a dress code. In SoCal, women were required to wear stockings and closed toe shoes. :zombie: I do understand the reasoning - it's a modest industry despite the patients' disrobing for the doctor. Or perhaps because of that fact.

Now that I'm back in accounting, I can wear my open-toed slides with bare feet! There's no published dress code because we're expected to know how to dress when meeting with clients. It's good.

BostonBecca
08-16-2007, 08:34 AM
I'm about to hopefully become an attorney, and I start training with the Public Defender's office on Monday. It's court clothes for court, business casual for training, and I think as well for non court clothes. However, I think most people don't realize that business casual should not be casual. Business casual is a nice skirt and blouse or sweater or a nice pair of slacks and a nice skirt or blouse. Those slacks can be a pair of trouser khakis. This is my opinion, but appearance is important in how you are viewed. It might not be ideal, but it is how it is. I look younger than my age as well, people NEVER believe that I am 26 and a soon to be attorney, but I am, and a suit helps make that clear and who the lawyer is. I also get a lot more respect in the lawyer clothes rather than other clothes. Appearance matters, and you project an image of your level of maturity with your clothes when in an office setting. We might not like it, but I think that is reality. You can either try and change that reality or go with the status quo.

mulene
08-16-2007, 08:54 AM
I work in the music industry. Flip flops are fine in the office, belly shirts too though mostly where I work people don't wear shirts that show off their bellies. We are a little older here. We all wear jeans, shorts, short skirts with leggings underneath etc etc I always wear jeans and a t shirt. In summer I'll wear cropped jeans and a t shirt. In winter usually jeans and a sweater.

Some people here would make you freak out - tattoos and piercings all over. Men with hair down past their bums in length and dyed hair in all colours you can imagine. Women with shaved heads, cropped hair etc etc etc.

All of it is fine. It doesn't affect how anyone does their job and everyone who works here is well respected and liked across the industry.

BostonBecca
08-16-2007, 09:07 AM
That's the status quo in your industry. It's interesting isn't it, how the status quo varies across industries? I got rid of some of my piercings when I started law school, but some of my friends from school are tattooed and pierced all other (most of them came from the music industry). They get by fine, but that's probably because they are into areas of the law that aren't so much "practicing law" but more social justice work.

chrislt8
08-16-2007, 10:13 AM
Ya know, I posted earlier about how I think there is "work clothes" and "play clothes" - but I was looking at it from the perspective of the industry I am in....I really think when it comes to dressing appropriately at work you need to take your cue from the work environment - as many have pointed out, funky is fine in some industries, but in others it just isn't. A while ago I had a woman working for me who my bosses asked me to speak to regarding the "gaps" in her clothing - her response to me was "I'm tall and thin, and that's just the way it is - I like what I wear"...any wonder why, when it came time for layoffs she was the one that the bosses picked to let go? She looked cute in a general sense but logo t-shirts and belly showing wasn't the image the the company wanted to project and she paid the price for not recognizing the culture of the company...

In a more general sense, I do think that the way we dress is the "public image" we present to the world around us and affects how people view us and react to us. How mny times have you been out shopping and seen someone and wondered if they own a mirror at home, or bothered to look in it before leaving the house?!

I'm enjoying this thread - I find the different perspectives really interesting to read :think:

aslangirl
08-16-2007, 12:35 PM
I totally agree, and it drives me crazy! I'm only in my early 30's, but was brought up thinking that one dresses professionally for work!

stitchwitch
08-16-2007, 02:46 PM
Alot of it boils down to if you give people an inch they will take a mile. Alot of people ruin it for the rest of us when it comes to things like this. Instead of having some manners and class they have to take it to extremes. Pretty soon it's back to full work dress because some idiot decided to wear a Speedo to work.

scout52
08-16-2007, 03:01 PM
BostonBecca

Did you take the bar yet? if so good luck on the results. I know they come out in november. At least they do here in California. The bar is the most nerve wracking test isn't it?

Knitting is the best way to relax after work I found. So keep it up!! I even bring it with me to lunch. I've had request from other attorneys now for gifts. One other attorney here knits with me. we have a knitting line we joke bc its only 2 of us that knit.

BostonBecca
08-16-2007, 03:28 PM
Thank you! I did take the bar! I hope it turns out ok. Knitting relaxs me as well, and I hope there are some other knitters in my office. I will be working right down the street from Ewe'll Love It, so there are at least knitters nearby!

scout52
08-16-2007, 04:48 PM
Well definetly update us on your results!! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!!! As a fellow attorney and former resident of Massachusetts I'm rooting for you!! (twin and best friend still lives there in fact)

zazzu
08-16-2007, 04:56 PM
Alot of it boils down to if you give people an inch they will take a mile...Pretty soon it's back to full work dress because some idiot decided to wear a Speedo to work.:roflhard:

A Speedo?! Oh! My eyes! MY EYES!!! :noway:

scout52
08-16-2007, 05:15 PM
:roflhard:

A Speedo?! Oh! My eyes! MY EYES!!! :noway:

:roflhard::roflhard::roflhard::

we have a guy in our building but not in my office who dresses business casual but has not noticed that he is no longer a 32w and all his clothes look like belly shirts and tights.

Jan in CA
08-17-2007, 11:15 AM
:roflhard::roflhard::roflhard::

we have a guy in our building but not in my office who dresses business casual but has not noticed that he is no longer a 32w and all his clothes look like belly shirts and tights.

:ick:

I haven't worked in years, but my daughter has had various dress codes depending on the job. As a pre-school teacher she couldn't wear jeans, shorts, tank tops or open toed shoes. Now in an office she wears skirts, dresses, slacks and nice tops except on Friday when she is allowed to wear jeans, but with a nice top not a t-shirt. No car washing attire. ;)

It seems that attire is not only dependent on the industry, but on the business owner.

Luvmyrottnboy
08-17-2007, 12:03 PM
I am absolutely 100% against dress codes. It especially cracks me up when I see the men in their suits and ties in 90 degree weather all looking exactly alike.

I could not care less how any of my co-workers dress.

I am very lucky as I manage a college dormitory and we have no dress code.

panchita
08-18-2007, 12:46 AM
I teach kindergarten and I wear jeans to work often, as well as wild flowery flip-flops. I sit on the floor, kneel next to my students at their tables, and am "assaulted" with marker, crayon, pencil, paint, glue, etc. every day. All my shoes are scuffed on the toes. Jeans hold up to the crawling better than any other pants and don't need to get dry-cleaned. I find it hard to wear skirts and dresses, too, because of the sitting on the floor thing. I like wearing sneakers to work, too, because I walk backwards leading my little "ducks" all over campus (although it can be done in flowery flip-flops). I feel very lucky that my administrators recognize the physical nature of working with 5 year olds.

Andrea
08-18-2007, 09:35 PM
This is why I love wearing a uniform to work!! I would never be able to figure out what to wear!! :teehee:

JoeE
08-18-2007, 10:11 PM
My ex-wife and I are still friendly (which is great for our adult son). We both worked for the same employer until she became a real estate agent several months ago. She is a meticulous dresser and always looks like a million bucks. She always complained bitterly about the way people dress in the office where we worked. On her first day in the real estate office, she let me know how refreshing it was that no one was wearing spandex pants, sweat shirts, or flip flops. I'm glad she's happy. I like not having to wear a coat and tie at work, but she loves that kind of work environment.

Knitting_Guy
08-18-2007, 11:31 PM
It's great being a trucker, I can dress any way I please and nobody cares.

Back in my old career I was something of a stickler for the dress code. The people who worked under me were required to always dress appropriately and I always wore a suit although it wasn't required of me.
I've found that people who dress professionally tend to act more professionally.

Although I can dress casually while trucking I don't dress like a slob like some truckers I see. I don't even own a pair of sweat pants and wouldn't be caught dead wearing those things in public.

I do wear shorts at times when I am in hot climates, but they are always dressy shorts, cargo shorts, etc. otherwise I wear jeans sans holes or stains, tee shirts when doing the dirty work and collared shirts when driving and doing clean work. And I always wear a hat when out in public (another of those old fashioned things). My hats range from classic fedora to safari hat to nice ball cap to cowboy hat (I own way too many hats LOL).

While many people dress casually these days I am a little old fashioned in that I think the appearance that a person presents to others says a lot about them.


I guess what I am saying is that I feel that how one dresses is important and sends a message to others.

LibraryLady
08-19-2007, 02:50 PM
Pretty soon it's back to full work dress because some idiot decided to wear a Speedo to work.

:eyes:

This is why I love wearing a uniform to work!! I would never be able to figure out what to wear!! :teehee:

I used to do that... Sometimes I wish I STILL did!

What truly annoys me is the way people are slaves to a fad, and not being realistic on sizing.

I see way too many people wearing clothes 2 OR MORE sizes too small for them! Then there's the need to wear something currently popular no matter what it looks like on them - ie not flattering to their body style. Don't people realize just because it looks good on the skinny tall model, it won't look good on them?

Wearing something that looks good on you is professional also - :wall:

LL

hummingbird
08-19-2007, 06:26 PM
Wow. I'm surprized how many people here want more strict dress codes.
I think people are way to hung up on appearances! It should be how you act that matters, not what you're wearing. That whole judging people on unrelated things is really annoying.
At work they like us to wear kaki or black pants and a polo or nicer shirt. I think the no jeans thing is pretty dumb because kakis stain way to easily and oil doesn't come out that well. I'm not about to buy more pants though. I can't afford it!
Yes, I do dress up when the ocasion calls for it. I feel like I'm acting though, just dressing how I'm expected to and not because I want to. And I don't act differently based on my clothes unless they are that uncomfortable or I might be more careful not to get them dirty.

Knitting_Guy
08-19-2007, 08:12 PM
It should be how you act that matters, not what you're wearing.

The operative word there is should.

There are a lot of things in the world that should be a certain way but aren't.

How you choose to present yourself to the world communicates a lot whether you choose to believe it or not. It's simple human nature. First impressions come from the visual and behavior simply affirms or contradicts that first impression.

I agree that behavior is far more important, but that doesn't make appearance unimportant.

You do the same thing whether you admit it to yourself or not. If you meet a well groomed person wearing a business suit in a dark alley your immediate emotional reaction will be far different than meeting a poorly groomed person in worn, dirty clothes or gang colors in the same dark alley. Simple human psychology that has been demonstrated in many studies.

BostonBecca
08-19-2007, 10:30 PM
It's true, things should not be this way, that we treat people differently based on their appearance, even whether they are tall or short, heavy or thin, even whether each half of their face mirrors the other half. They are this way however, and unless you want to embark on a country wide or global campaign to change that, you do say something with how you dress, how you groom yourself, etc.

I get treated differently when I am wearing jeans and a T shirt and when I am wearing a suit. The difference includes being called Miss in jeans and Ma'm in a suit. I get way more respect in a suit as well. I'm the same person, with the same education level and income level, but the suit/nice looking clothes and good grooming commands respect in our society. That's powerful and you can use it to your advantage or it can work to your
disadvantage. It isn't like this in every profession, professional sports and the art world come to mind, but in many professions, this is just how it is. Try and change it, or work with it. I would rather make a good impression at first than make a less positive one because of my clothes and have to change that impression. People should be judged solely on their merits, but they aren't. Society changed much of that about skin color, but that's still here. If we don't like it, we have to work to change it.

Knitting_Guy
08-19-2007, 10:38 PM
I've also noticed a difference in how people react to me depending upon how I am dressed/groomed.

try going into a store or restaurant dressed in jeans and a tee, and then in nice clothing and see how different the service will be.

I once did a little experiment and wore suit and tie while trucking for six months. It was quite an educational experience.

It's true, things should not be this way, that we treat people differently based on their appearance, even whether they are tall or short, heavy or thin, even whether each half of their face mirrors the other half. They are this way however, and unless you want to embark on a country wide or global campaign to change that, you do say something with how you dress, how you groom yourself, etc.

I get treated differently when I am wearing jeans and a T shirt and when I am wearing a suit. The difference includes being called Miss in jeans and Ma'm in a suit. I get way more respect in a suit as well. I'm the same person, with the same education level and income level, but the suit/nice looking clothes and good grooming commands respect in our society. That's powerful and you can use it to your advantage or it can work to your
disadvantage. It isn't like this in every profession, professional sports and the art world come to mind, but in many professions, this is just how it is. Try and change it, or work with it. I would rather make a good impression at first than make a less positive one because of my clothes and have to change that impression. People should be judged solely on their merits, but they aren't. Society changed much of that about skin color, but that's still here. If we don't like it, we have to work to change it.

hummingbird
08-20-2007, 03:13 AM
Sigh. I defy plenty of other steriotypes, why not this too.

And I tend to avoid dark alleys. :) And I wouldn't trust either of those guys. What are they doing standing around in an alley? smoking? dealing drugs? being drunk?

If I have a bunch of money someday, I want to dress down, go out and do stuff and surprise nice people with huge tips. Yeah, some people will probably fulfill their own prophecy too.

Yes, I want to change the world. :)
I still dress up for interviews, etc, when making the best impression counts.

hummingbird
08-20-2007, 03:15 AM
That sounds like an interesting experiment. I'd try it, but the results would probably just make me mad.

Knitting_Guy
08-20-2007, 11:14 AM
I refuse to be stereotyped myself and pretty much do my own thing all the time. But there is no denying basic human psychology.

chrislt8
08-20-2007, 12:47 PM
I agree with you wholeheartedly Knitting_Guy.

I don't think you have to give up expressing yourself through clothing to dress appropriately for different occasions. There are lots of options when it comes to fashion. But, I do think you need to respect both yourself and others enough to recognize there are times to run out in capris and flipflops, and times not to. A man actually came to my sisters funeral in swim shorts and flipflops....Yes, I appreciated him coming at all - No, I didn't know him or what his circumstances were - but, it just seemed like he must have had something more appropriate in his closet and should have taken the time to change....

Like everything else in life, there is a time and place for everything...and first impressions do last and can be hard to overcome... JMHO