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Arielluria
08-29-2007, 10:57 AM
Got this from a friend today. I had me :roflhard:!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>> BANNED FROM WALMART
>>>
>>> This is hilarious!!!!
>>>
>>> This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
>>>
>>> DON'T TAKE ME IF I DON'T WANT TO GO...........
>>>
>>> After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
>>> accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
>>>
>>> Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping
boring
>>> and preferred to get in and get out.
>>>
>>> Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to
>>> browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her
>>local
>>> Wal-Mart.
>>>
>>> Dear Mrs. Fenton,
>>>
>>> Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
>>> commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
>>> forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
>>> Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
>>> cameras.
>>>
>>> 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
>people's
>>> carts when they weren't looking.
>>>
>>> 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
>>5-minute
>>> intervals.
>>>
>>> 3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
>>voice,
>>> "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."
>>>
>>> 4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of
M&M's
>>on
>>> layaway.
>>>
>>> 5. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FL OOR" sign to a carpeted
>>area.
>>>
>>> 6. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
>>other
>>> shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and
blankets
>>> from the bedding department.
>>>
>>> 7. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
>>> crying and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
>>>
>>> 8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
>>> mirror while he picked his nose.
>>>
>>> 9. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
>>asked
>>> the clerk where the antidepressants were.
>>>
>>> 10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
>>> humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
>>>
>>> 11. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna
>>look"
>>> by using different sizes of funnels.
>>>
>>> 12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
>>through,
>>> yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
>>>
>>> 13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
>>> assumed a fetal position and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES
>>AGAIN!"
>>>
>>> And last, but not least ...
>>>
>>> 14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
>>awhile,
>>> then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
>>>
>>> Regards,
>>>
>>> >Walmart

:roflhard::roflhard::roflhard:

figaro
08-29-2007, 11:01 AM
:roflhard::roflhard::roflhard:

vaknitter
08-29-2007, 11:10 AM
That's too funny - My brother did embarassing stuff (not quite that bad) at Walmart so his wife would leave him at home and take the kids with her instead !!!

JessicaR
08-29-2007, 11:18 AM
From seeing the quacks that come in, I really don't think Walmart would ban him!

Kaydee
08-29-2007, 11:24 AM
:roflhard:

PaperGirl
08-29-2007, 01:56 PM
Ive done some of those....:roflhard:

VictoiseC
08-30-2007, 11:41 AM
hilarious :roflhard:

sugarfunpouch
08-30-2007, 12:09 PM
OMG! LOL! :roflhard:

Rorshach
08-30-2007, 01:57 PM
hmm that story sounds so strikingly familiar, it sounds like stuff I've done to the different "Marts" out there.

Kels Joy.
08-30-2007, 04:09 PM
no joke, my friends and i decided we wanted to get kicked out of the walmart across the street from our school- i've seen this before in an email and i'm defiantely ganna print it out and use it! :roflhard:

Doodknitwit
08-30-2007, 04:19 PM
hoot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:roflhard::roflhard::blooby::happydance:

Arielluria
08-30-2007, 04:20 PM
sugarfunpouch (http://www.knittinghelp.com/knitting/forum/member.php?u=19095) I looooooooooove you Shih Tzu!
:muah:

G J
08-30-2007, 09:58 PM
:roflhard::roflhard:tooooo funny!!!:roflhard::roflhard:
I can't knit right now b/c of hand problems and it's driving me nuts. I needed the laugh! Thanks!

Queen of Rust
08-31-2007, 02:46 PM
:woot::woohoo::happydance:

Thanks for all the great ideas!

Knitting_Guy
08-31-2007, 09:17 PM
I've done a few of those. I'll have to try some of the others. :thumbsup: