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rozaroni
09-10-2007, 08:37 PM
I'd started working on a kimono using the basic pattern from Vickie Square's new book. I'd only gotten 10" into it when I found out that my Dad died. Now I find that I can't finish it. I usually knit to relieve stress, but whenever I look at this project now, I don't even want to work on it.

I started a new kimono using a different stitch pattern, and it seems to be easier to do.

I was just curious...has anyone else ever had this happen? Automatically associating a project with something negative that happened while you were working on it?

Sunny_Singer
09-10-2007, 08:45 PM
Sorry to hear of your loss.
Yes, I have had that happen before.

It is sometimes weird how the mind associates things like that.
I finally threw away a whole about half completed project for the association was really eating at me in such a way it was just too negative and upsetting and my DH and I finally decided that the best 'cure' was to remove the evidence of the association.

Some people can finish a project like that if they give themselves time.


Good luck with the new one.

threesmom
09-10-2007, 09:22 PM
I'm sorry for your loss too :hug:.

You're not alone. While I've never had to stop working on a project for any other reason than just hating the yarn, I can absollutely see this happening. I associate almost everything I knit with what was going on in my life at the time, where I was, how I was feeling. And I knit to relieve stress and work through stuff too - I sometimes leave projects just for that. There are so many mind body connections we don't completely understand - maybe letting go of a project is a way to help process, who knows. If you can't finish it, I wouldn't worry too much - in the end it's just yarn, and you cna't hurt it's feeling by not finishing a project!

Ingrid
09-10-2007, 10:09 PM
:hug:My condolences, as well.

I started a project last year in the emergency room. Whenever I looked at it, I remembered just a really sad, bad time in our lives. I used the yarn for something else because every time I picked it up, it all came back.

beckyrhae
09-10-2007, 10:44 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss Roz :hug:

I myself have never had this happen, but my dear friend does "journal quilting" and she was working on a piece while she visited her mother in the hospital. She always stitches, it is her peace, when her mother died, she couldn't finish it, look at it, or even touch it. She finally threw it away and it was like a huge weight lifted from her shoulders.

LilHuskiesFootBallMom
09-10-2007, 11:56 PM
for me it was crochet. I was pregnant with twins and knew in my heart at least one was a girl so i'd crochet these little hats and booties, a couple of sweater sets... i was in the middle of an afghan when I miscarried the girl twin and couldnt' finish it or even crochet ANY baby things for a number of years (i'd done the boy afghan first... was trying a new pattern so my son had his afghan). I still can't make any of the burial items...

redwitch
09-11-2007, 08:52 AM
I avoided knitting for a few days recently when I got dumped because I knew I wouldn't want to look at it later if I did!:hug:.

ekgheiy
09-11-2007, 09:17 AM
I too am sorry to hear of your loss. I've never had the negative vibes feeling from a knitting project; however, I don't find it hard to believe and think it's completely understandable. I think it's along the lines of being put off by a song that happened to be playing when something negative happens; I've had that happen before.

I wish you and your family the best!!

debinoz
09-11-2007, 11:10 AM
Sorry for your loss.

I also was crocheting. My Dad and I were having a contest to see who could get the most done at a time when he passed away. I just now started crocheting again after 14 years. I also cannot go into restaraunts because he worked at one when he passed and I get an overwhelming sense of sadness and even cry sometimes when I see firetrucks. He was a fire fighter for over 30 years. I'm a real killjoy at the begining of parades!

lucky_alf2
09-11-2007, 12:01 PM
Roz --

My sympathies for your recent loss.

I've also encountered the "negative vibes" you mention. I started knitting a baby-soft-green baby blanket for my sister who I knew was "trying" for her second child. When I was about only about 1/3 done she went thru a divorce and was very hurt in the process. I actually ended up putting down not only the project but my needles as well. Once, when I tried to finish the blanket (for my own pregnancy 2 years later) I just couldn't do it. I ended up not knitting for over 4 years. I then stumbled onto this site (from a card-making site) and started knitting other things with my stash yarn. Last spring I frogged the offending baby blanket and have left the yarn "resting". I think I might try at some point to make charity baby hats or a charity blanket or something out of it -- something for a good cause. The good news is, my sister has since remarried to a wonderful man and is pregnant again and due in Feb -- I've already got a great pattern picked out and am just waiting for confirmation that it's a girl to get new (pink) yarn :)

cinnamon_girl
09-11-2007, 12:51 PM
So sorry about your Dad. :hug: I can understand why you would have a hard time enjoying or wearing that kimono. I find clothing can be very sentimental to me and if it was a handmade garment probably even more so.

Interestingly, just this morning I was reminded of a kind of negative knitting association I have since it's the 6th anniversary of 9/11.

My #1 DD was pregnant and that September I was busy working on a baby blanket for the new baby. As I typically do, I knit on the train to and from work.

That day, after the attacks, my employer sent us all home from work shortly before lunch. We were all stunned and anxious to be with our families and assure ourselves they were save. But with all the confusion that day the trains were running delayed. I finally got a train home and when I think of that day, one of my memories is still of sitting almost trance like on the train knitting my grandson's blanket. I finished it and gave it to him so it didn't retain that kind of negative feeling. If anything, knitting on the train that day helped to keep me calmer and focused on something other than the tragedy that was unfolding across our country. When I got home, it was a different story. I was glued to the tv for days and little work got done on the blanket.

VictoiseC
09-11-2007, 02:27 PM
So sorry for your loss. I recently had a visit from my 84 year old dad and we argued way too much... he's very difficult but I am so ashamed of myself for not being more understanding.
Sounds like it'd be a good idea to give that away...

rozaroni
09-11-2007, 05:11 PM
Thanks to you all for your kind words. It makes me feel better to know that I'm not being "weird" about this.

I just cut the yarn on the kimono and tossed what I'd done so far. I've started over with a new stitch pattern, and I feel a little better.

Emotions are strange, aren't they?

ArtLady1981
09-11-2007, 05:26 PM
Sorry to hear of your loss. :grphug: Group hug here!

Yes, I associate everything that life tosses my way with my knitting. I can remember where I was and how I was feeling everytime I look at an FO.

Same goes with music.

It is good you switched up your pattern. :yay: