View Full Version : I need to make some changes

10-01-2007, 02:26 PM
I'm fat. I've gained a lot of weight and it seems I am unable, or unwilling to do anything about it. I'm uncomfortable and angry with myself but don't seem to have the willpower or strength to change it. I did Weight Watchers a few years ago and lost weight but can't seem to bring myself to try again.

I am out of shape, walking too much or any activity really winds me and tires me out. I don't want to walk around naked in front of my boyfriend and I used to all the time! He loves me for me, but says he will support me in any way he can if I want to lose weight.

I also smoke and am terrified of quitting. I quit once for five years but started again after separating from my ex. I get sweaty palms thinking of quitting now.

I don't know why I'm writing this, I don't know what I'm asking exactly. I don't know I'm so scared to try to change things.

Maybe I just need suggestions? Or someone to tell me it's ok to be fat and smoke. haha, just kidding.

10-01-2007, 02:39 PM
I need to lose at least 20 pounds and WW is supposed to be really good, but since I'm not a joiner, I'm going to do it on my own. My main problem is that I need to move more; sounds like that's what you need too. Start walking - if you can only do a block without getting winded, walk a block. Next week maybe you can walk 2 blocks. Then 3 blocks. You might look at your library for some easy yoga videos, that's something you can do at home at your own pace and it will at least keep you moving.

10-01-2007, 02:41 PM
Thank you suzeeq.

I am going to try the weight watchers online, it is a free registration for a week. I'll check it out and see how it goes.

I just feel so bad. I'm only 37 years old and this out of shape?! and it's no ones fault but my own.

10-01-2007, 02:42 PM
I always tell people that I don't like to exercise because it makes me sweat! ;)

Soooooooooooo, how happy are you inside? I know that that's a corny question but I truly believe that, until we are happy on the inside, we're never gonna be happy with our outside.

I've been thinking all these same things as you lately. I'm about 25-30 pounds more than I want to be but just can't seem to get myself motivated to do anything about it. And I like my 3 or 4 smokes a day darn it!

Last week, I got online to look for someone in my area who teaches yoga classes. My sister and friend both do yoga and they really love it. They say it helps them get relaxed and focused, which is something I'm working on myself. I've got a contact number and am going to call it this week to see what happens. I'm soooooooooooo not an exerciser and I really love to cook and eat, so I know it's going to take some major motivating thoughts to get me going.

The cooler weather is coming to FL soon and I'm thinking that I might just start walking. I've got this adorable pug who loves to go for walks, so maybe I'll just "take Nora walking" and forget about calling it exercise. I don't know. Do YOU have a dog?

I'll keep checking in on this thread to see how you're doing. Maybe we can motivate each other. I'm sure, once I get in the routine, It'll be easier to maintain it..................

Gosh, I'm tired just thinking about it!:passedout:

10-01-2007, 02:55 PM
larudden, that would be awesome! I think the reason weight watchers worked for me lat time was because I went with my best friend and we did it together. That was in California though and I don't have any friends in Vermont. It's hard to make friends when you are older I've found. I know people but not a girlfriend you know?

Can I take my cats out for a walk on a leash?:teehee:

10-01-2007, 03:16 PM
Only if the cats let you....!

10-01-2007, 05:49 PM
Have you checked out SparkPeople.com ? It's free and it's a great resource. I lost 15+ lbs. I haven't been tracking my meals lately. Need to start doing that again so I don't stray too far off track and will get the nutrients I need.

10-01-2007, 05:56 PM
Ok, a bit of honesty here. If you're that out of shape at your age that a very good sign that you need to exercise. The body needs exercise to function properly.

Start slow with just walking or riding a bicycle a short distance and gradually work up from there. 20 minutes a day is a great start.

How many times a day do you eat? The best way to boost metabolism is to eat several small meals a day instead of just one or two larger ones. Of course eating the right foods helps, but spacing your food out through the day goes a long way towards keeping metabolic rates up.

It's really a very simple formula. Burning more calories than you take in causes weight loss. Taking in more than you burn causes weight gain.

At this point I'd be more concerned about you being so out of shape than with your weight. Get yourself a bicycle and start riding it. I love riding a bike and do so as often as I can manage.

I have a recumbent bike at home which is my only transportation when home off the road, and I carry a folding bicycle in the truck with me.

10-01-2007, 07:11 PM
Mason I don't mind honesty!

No, I do not exercise unless you count housework which sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.

A typical day is: coffee in the morning, a bagel or muffin and coffee at about 10:15, lunch at 1:30 which is usually something bad for me from the quickie mart, and snacking in the afternoon, a candy bar or something. Dinner is pretty good because I cook for the kids and for some reason find it easier to tell them what to eat, health wise than to do it myself. Tonight was baked chicken, broccoli and rice a roni. Ok, not that great. Night is my bad time. I always want to eat at night. Cereal sometimes, a cookie, etc.

My problem is probably how much I eat.

bike riding is probably something I wouldn't do much. I'd probably walk a lot more easily than ride a bike. I live in Vermont for goodness sake! I have a whole entire beautiful forest in back of my house, with a brook and a path and everything. Just getting to the point of actually getting off my A** and getting going would be awesome.

I'm very glad I wrote this because it gives me some motivation. I'm tired of being tired out from simple things that should be no problem.

Thak you so much for listening to me, I appreciate it a lot.

10-01-2007, 07:21 PM
I recently lost 25 pounds. I went from 164 to 139 (My lowest weight was 115 as an adult). I started in January using Weight Watchers but I only lasted about 3 weeks with them. I lost 10 pounds while I was with them. I lost the other 15 pounds on my own. I never was a big eater or a sweets eater, but I found that I was eating later than normal and not eating a well rounded meal. So I changed my eating habits slowly; eating more vegetables, drinking more water, trying food prepared in a healthier manner. It seemed to work. By June I lost the other 15 pounds. I haven't gained it back at all. I also take a multivitamin everyday before I have breakfast. It seems to curb my appetite. Plus I'm a Pre-K Teacher so I am always on the move, lol.

All in all, do what you think is best for you. Talk with your honey before you make a decision about what you want to do. Whatever you decide, know that you are a beautiful person inside and out no matter what the scale says.

10-01-2007, 07:38 PM
My boyfriend is awesome. He says he loves ME, but he wants me to be happy and healthy so I'll be around a long time and he will support anything I decide to do. I'm lucky. :) and that's funny Angel, he just told me I need to take a multi vitamin.

I'm going to try and eat better, and not think I'm on a diet. If i do that it would be like a challenge. Eating better, choosing healthier things to eat and exercising sounds doable to me.

10-01-2007, 08:27 PM
My story, the short version:

Fell ill. Haven't exercised in five years. Been living off take-aways for two years. Overweight. No longer ill. Now too unfit to exercise. Started walking around the block. Did that twice. Lost my mind. Booked a canoe-trip last weekend (September 23rd). Went there. Got in the canoe. Canoe floated. ROWED 13 miles (21 km) to the cabin. Managed to get out of canoe. Died a little. ROWED 13 miles (21 km!) back to the start. Survived.

The lesson?

I sat in front of a pc for five years, eating KFC, burgers and pizza. I still managed to row all that way. Either I'm getting fitter while I type this, or we're built tougher than I thought.

Bad news is, now I have in the back of my mind "Hey, I rowed 42 friggin' kilometers last week, I burnt off this chocolate cake I'm about to eat!"

So now, you tell yourself "just do it" while I yell from this side "you can do it!" and keep us updated, because I'm not stopping here and I'd like to have a fellow-knitter on this journey with me.

Moving to a new apartment Wednesday, the place has a gym for residents. I'm so there!

Here is the one pic I could find of me in the canoe without my double chin showing:

And this is the sin I'm committing right now: (that's the forum on the monitor...)

I'll be strong. Tomorrow. All the best to you.

10-01-2007, 08:30 PM
I know how you feel. I was on WW real good for about 6 months. I lost 30 pounds. I was feeling good! DH was doing it, dropped out and now wants to have all sorts of bad food around. Not to mention, things are really stressful at work, one piece of chocolate won't hurt right?

The things I did to change (and that I am still doing) were easy. I use the salad plate i/o the dinner plate- less food but the plate looks full. I have a treat every night- Edy's (Dreyer's depending where you are) Slow Churned light ice cream (fills my sweet tooth desire) and I put it in a coffee mug- it's WAY smaller than my bowls. I make sure I eat breakfast, a morning snack (usually a granola bar), lunch (lean cuisine- the points are on the package) and a mini bag of popcorn in the afternoon. Then, I make sure to eat a good dinner. I cut out soda, most alcohol (have 1 glass of wine a week) and all other sweets.

I am back on full force today, and remember, the first week is HARD! I am always hungry! I drink water and chew gum- it works for me. Find what works for you.

I know it would be much easier to do with a friend, especially the exercise part....wish I had one here. Oh well, gotta start somewhere so I guess diet first, exercise second.

Good luck!:waving:

10-01-2007, 08:42 PM
First, STAY AWAY FROM THE FAST FOOD! That stuff is the worst thing you can eat. Pack something healthy from home.

Change your snacking habits to something healthier like fruit, carrot sticks, etc. Personally I love dried fruits like apricots, bananas, dates, etc. for snacking.

The first three letters in diet is DIE. Never diet, just eat healthy and exercise, that's all you need.

If I had a forest behind my house I'd probably spend more time there than in the house :rofl:

Get yourself a good hiking stick and go hiking in the woods. Believe me, a hiking stick can be a real life saver. I've hiked extensively all over the country, including the Appalachian trail. Once you get started you'll love it.

Ok, I'll shut up now. :wink:

10-01-2007, 09:05 PM
At my unhealthiest point, I weighed in around 230 lbs. At 5'3", it was like carrying a piano on my shoulders all day long. My joints hurt all the time and one day my blood sugar got so low, that I crashed driving home from school. A few months later I was diagnosed with PCOS, which can lead to diabetes, cancer, heart disease, depression, blah blah blah. I'd had it for over a decade and didn't have a clue. I've lost about 60 lbs, gained 20 and am trying to shed off another 30 so that my insulin stops skyrocketing.

Start small. If you look at yourself and say that you need to loose 30 lbs and walk a few miles every day and eat super healthy and all that jazz, you probably won't do it.
Break down your long term goals into short term ones.

Put on some shoes and start walking. Walk for about half an hour, come back home. When you go grocery shopping, or to the mall, park as far away from the main entrance as you can. Use stairs instead of elevators.
Carry healthy snacks with you, specially if they're filling. They'll keep you from feeling cravings all the time. Drink lots of water.

I know this may sound bad, but stop weighing yourself often. Do it twice a month or something, or once. If you weigh yourself often and you see little change you'll feel depressed and have setbacks.

10-01-2007, 09:13 PM
you guys are awesome. I can't tell you how much better I feel. I don't know it seems like such an unsurmountable problem to me. I don't know why I feel like food is such an important part of my life. To me, food is love. Cooking and baking for my family is love to me, but there is such a thing as loving to death and I don't want to do that.

Thank you all so much, your words mean a lot to me. I don't have a lot of friends here in Vermont but now I feel like I have a lot of friends all over the place!

10-01-2007, 09:30 PM
I know what you mean about food being important in your life.
I pretty much grew up in the kitchen, with my Grandmother teaching me about mexican food. I even worked as a cook for a brief period.

Don't let your quest for weight loss make you feel bad about food. On the contrary, it's a challenge to conquer. Find the healhier versions of your favorite things and explore what sort of stuff can do you with it.
Like pasta? Try whole wheat pasta. Get creative with grilling and low-sodium marinades. Buy veggies - fresh or frozen - and think of all the dishes you can extra veggies to.
It's a whooooole new palette to play with, and you know what? It's both tasty and fun :woot:

10-01-2007, 09:30 PM
I hear what you are saying. I am at the exact same point, albeit likely for different reasons. I tell myself that at least I have reached a point of acknowledging the problem...I may not be totally ready to do anything about it, but I know what I need to do when I am.

I've also found that trying to change everything at once overwhelming and therefore not very successful. Maybe focusing on one thing and feeling good about that change after awhile will lead to taking on something else, etc etc.

Good luck!

10-01-2007, 09:38 PM
Don't equate healthy food with not tasting good. Healthy foods can taste as good or better than junk.

10-01-2007, 11:00 PM
Tonight was baked chicken, broccoli and rice a roni. Ok, not that great. Night is my bad time. I always want to eat at night. Cereal sometimes, a cookie, etc.

That wasn't a bad dinner - baked chicken is better than fried, and at least you got a vegetable in there. You probably want to snack at night because you haven't eaten enough during the day. You need more for breakfast, a little midmorning snack, a better lunch and maybe a light snack in the aftenoon - depends on how late you eat. Or you could save the 2nd snack for after dinner, but make it healthier, like fruit. Maybe a couplathree times a week you can have a treat like lite ice cream, but only a couple Tablespoons.

Another thing to try is eat some protein every time you eat something - crackers or toast with cheese or peanut butter, meat/fish with a potato or veggies, cereal for breakfast with an egg on the side (or an egg/toast sandwich) and fruit and nuts together. Yogurt has some protein in it and makes a good snack, but watch out for high fructose corn syrup in it, so you may want to get a `Lite' one.

You probably get winded so easy from the smoking, so if you can cut down (not asking you to quit), that will help.

10-01-2007, 11:03 PM
I heard eating a portion of roughage (fiber? - plant cellulose) with everything helps you lose weight faster, because it fills up part of your stomach and keeps you from digesting part of whatever else you put in there.

and eating a little protein with every meal will fill you up faster and make sure you build muscles if you use them.

and everything raw is harder to digest, so it adds less calories because your body burns some just making it useable. plus it has more vitamins.

(maybe you know all this already.)

my new favorite snack is raw almonds and dried cranberries.

good luck, be healthy!

now is the perfect time of year for the woods, I'm jealous.

10-01-2007, 11:15 PM
she has lost 5 lbs since Fri... most is comon sense and cardio.. and some weight training.. walking with hand weights is an easy start...

10-02-2007, 01:24 AM
I just wanted to reply and let you know that you can do this! If you put your mind to it, you can do anything you want. It sounds like you have your b-friend's support and you definitely have us KH'ers for support as well. :muah:

I've always been "thinner", but had a serious bout with depression last year and was a lot less mobile. I gained about 20 lbs and had to go buy bigger clothes. :ick: I couldn't stand it, so I picked my favorite dress and made a commitment to fit into that dress by April 2007. I started "dieting" in January 2007 by doing the Slim-Fast program. I had a shake in the morning, a sensible lunch, and a shake at night. I switched to low/no-fat everything and started counting calories. It was amazing how the weight fell off, just by making a few healthier choices. I lost all 20 lbs and I fit into the dress. Another motivation was I hung the dress in my closet so I saw it every single day to remind myself of my goal. I have since gained a few lbs, but after making the healthier choices it is easy to stick with them now. Also, I would allow myself to "splurge" about every 2 wks or so. But if I hadn't been "good" for that 2 wks I didn't let myself splurge.

Exercise helped a lot too - walk your dog, walk the block, or go to the mall and walk around (I would go before the stores opened or I would be in trouble :teehee:). Even walking 20 mins a day can make a huge difference.

Choose what is best for you. Find a motivation. Stick to it. You CAN do it. And you have all of us here to help. Best of luck and let us know how you are doing! :heart:

10-03-2007, 08:50 AM
Thank you all! I signed up for Weight Watchers online, and plan to look around there for help.

I hurt my back pretty badly and was off work yesterday. I guess that's a hint to start exercising!

Thanks for all your support!

10-03-2007, 11:47 AM
Hi, I just saw you thread and I have another suggestion.

You are 37, so a part of your problem aside from weight could be hormonal changes of perimenopause-it can cause anxiety and depresession, mood swings-and weight gain. I have hormonal issues more than weight issues. I recently got this book from the library: http://www.amazon.com/Hormone-Survival-Guide-Perimenopause-Naturally/dp/0974206709/ref=sr_1_1/105-9481040-4990013?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1191425662&sr=1-1
It is very helpful in terms of helping women see how their cycles are affecting them, why people in our age range gain weight. She has a strong emphasis on healthy diet and exercise, and I think her suggestions would fit in nicely with weight watcher guidelines. I started her 12 week diet plan - I did it to stop mood swings and PMS. Weight loss is not my goal. If I focus on that I will just get discouraged. I consider wt loss a pleasant side effect of better hormonal balance. The first month no PMS. 6 weeks into it I've lost 8 pounds- woohoo! I have more energy, feel better. Actually feel like exercising.

Lots of weight loss plans do not consider the specific needs of women, so this might be a helpful book for you.

10-03-2007, 02:39 PM
I'm a recent ex-smoker, and I think (if your ready), cutting some of the smoking will help you exercise. Excercise can also help with quitting smoking. When you want a cigarette, jog in place for 5 minutes, or walk around the building a few times. It seems every time I start smoking again, I quit exercising. And the 20 minutes at a time exercise guideline is great, but if you can't do it, start with 5 minutes a few times a day. And cover up the clock, you can usually go longer if you're not watching the seconds go by. Just some sugestions that have helped me. I hope you are sucessful with this. Just take it one thing at a time, one day at a time.


10-03-2007, 03:28 PM
I joined WW three weeks ago and have lost over 11lbs so far, its a great program!! If like the online program and you have one near you I'd suggest going to a meeting...you can try one for free. It really helps to know you have to get on that scale every week and be held accountable. And if you get the monthly pass you can use the online etool for free! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions about my experience or anything!

10-03-2007, 04:51 PM
I have about 20 lbs of baby weight to lose (and my 'baby' is 16 months old!). I know what you mean about feeling down and angry with yourself, I was absolutely disgusted with myself. We joined our community gym over the summer - its great for me, because they have a special kids' room that my kiddos love going to (I'm a SAHM), I get some alone time, and I get to exercise. But, I really like to exercise, so that's not a big deal.

I also recently started Weight Watchers, and its going really well so far. I've lost almost 5 lbs in just over 2 weeks, and it really opened my eyes to just how horribly I eat. I always thought I did pretty good, but I don't eat nearly enough fruits and veggies, and way too much sugar.

I would suggest trying WW again, the journaling really helps to point out your weak areas, and the accountability of the group meeting is unbeatable, at least for me. Good luck!

10-08-2007, 08:39 AM
I haven't been posting because I really did a number on my back, it is very painful. I'm going to physical therapy but boy it hurts. I did do well last night, I got out cereal about 9:30 but then thought I don't need that and put it back! Yay!

10-08-2007, 09:01 AM
Sorry about your back, I hope you feel better! But it sounds like you're doing good. I think one of the hardest parts is when you have something you want to eat and you don't need it and just have to say no to yourself.

misha rf
10-08-2007, 09:22 AM
I hope your back (and you) feel better soon!

I'm also on the "fitness train." I've gotten a bit chubby over the last few years (grad school, with a 1 1/2 hr commute via bus & subway; wacky job hours; moving; I really could go on with the excuses). I went up 4 sizes in 3 years. We went to the race at Bristol in August. At one point, we were at the bottom of the grandstand. The only way out from that particular point was to hike up a level (or backtrack). We went up. It was hot. I thought I was going to die before I got to the top of the stairs. And then we decided to go to the race at Charlotte (which is this coming Sat). I was *not* going to be huffing and puffing and turning red climbing those stairs, dangit!!

So I started walking in my subdivision (I'd started modifying my portion & snack sizes a few months ago). We live on the side of a small mountain. Lots of hills. It's been a little slow going, but I've gone down a size in 6 weeks. One down, 3 to go...

10-08-2007, 09:42 AM
Call your doc and see if he'll authorize a thyroid test for you. If it's out of wack it can account for the fatigue and lack of energy to "do something about it." Even exercise will sound better once thyroid levels are normal.

10-10-2007, 10:24 AM
I saw your post and decided to reply without reading everyone else's replies first. I hope I am not repeating what someone else has already said, but here goes:

I replied quickly because I TOTALLY relate to what you are saying - and I am supposed to know better! (I actually have several degrees in nutrition/natural health, etc)

Nutrition and exercise are essential, yes. No argument. But - are you (and I) asking ourselves the right questions? The real issue at hand is, why are we committing various acts of self-sabotage? Why are we hurting ourselves? What is the real issue here?

The truth is: We don't love ourselves enough. We don't feel worthy enough. We don't trust ourselves enough.

I have been having a lot of chats with my "inner critic" lately. Many people say, "ignore that inner critic," but that's not good enough! You have to reverse engineer that voice to be your inner supporter, encourager, and lover. Yes! You must love yourself, or you will forever be sabotaging yourself!

My own family recently took me to the doctor's to see if I was manic/depressive because I have so many self-sabotaging behaviors. Of course the doc put me on anti-psychotics even though his own examination did not reveal any mental illness on my part. He took the word of my family over his own examination and prescribed. I took them and had a major psychotic episode within 24 hours (a pretty good indication that I am not psychotic!! The drugs cause psychosis in healthy individuals!) Since I cannot take the meds, I must work on this within my own head (or seek a therapist if you feel you cannot do it on your own.)

I started by writing down every self-sabotaging behavior I have INCLUDING my obesity. Then START LISTENING TO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING TO YOURSELF internally. I think you'll find your problem.

Say, "I can," every time you hear yourself say, "I can't." Strengthen your resolve, encourage yourself. Be your own best supporter.


WE will do this! Together! EMAIL ME and we will make a pact with each other to be our own best lover.



Suzuki fronte (http://www.suzuki-tech.com/wiki/Suzuki_Fronte)