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View Full Version : Possible KIP Irony


bip
10-25-2007, 11:10 PM
I knit on the subway on the way to and from work. I am so dedicated that I time my rides when the subway will be uncrowded enough that I get a seat. If a train is too crowded, I will usually wait for the next one (can mean 5-15 extra minutes, you never know).

Tonight, it is entirely possible that I let a pregnant woman stand while I sat and knitted a baby blanket. In my defense, I was in the dead middle of the train, so she had to walk by lots of seats before ending up in my area. People by the doors know they are supposed to offer their seats, and there are signs posted to remind them. And technically, she wasn't standing in front of me, she was standing in front of the teenager sitting next to me.

And mainly, I wasn't sure she was pregnant. She wasn't overweight, but her top said "maternity" and she kept doing weird things like resting her arm across her belly (and I couldn't tell if it was a bump or a regular tummy) and scratching her belly. I was terrified that if I offered my seat and she wasn't pregnant, I would have hurt her feelings (cause let's face it, the only reason anyone will offer you a seat is if you look old or pregnant!)

I guess maybe it is ok if I couldn't tell and she didn't ask for a seat, right?

Still, the irony of me being at once so concerned about one mom and baby (by knitting them a blankie) and on the other hand possibly letting one stand on a crowded train...

Ingrid
10-25-2007, 11:26 PM
You should have poked the ingrate teenager next to you with a needle and remind HIM that it's good manners to give up your seat to a pregnant lady unless you have knitting to do, of course.:teehee:

bip
10-25-2007, 11:40 PM
Actually, the teenager was a girl too ... and I thought she might be having the same conundrum as I was. Or maybe from her better vantage point she could tell that the woman wasn't pregnant.

Riss
10-26-2007, 12:48 AM
I love riding the subway in Boston.. I rode it every day to and from college... and the things I'd see, or better yet, not see... just shocked and amazed me some times. Like, being on a crowded green line train, and watching three people hold up a little old guy because the teenager sitting next to him wouldn't get up and offer their seat.

I've offered people my seat before and been denied so strongly that I've reached out and held arms as they lost their balance.

I'd say that if she looked incredibly uncomfortable, and was losing her balance every 5 seconds, I'd have gotten up, baby bump or not. But sometimes, it's better just to leave well enough alone. Had she been uncomfortable, she could have always just asked "May I sit? I'm 3 months pregnant..."


I used to crochet on the subway all the time. Maybe we should get together and have T-KIPing trips and just ride the subway for a few hours :D

bip
10-26-2007, 11:59 AM
Yep, it was the green line, and crowded for the Red Sox. We can get together to knit, but not on the T! We'll go somewhere nice and relaxing :)

aslangirl
10-26-2007, 12:36 PM
LOL! I might have to join the T-knitting party sometime! :)

HeatherFeather
10-26-2007, 06:16 PM
Dave Barry says the ONLY time you are allowed to ask a woman if she's pregnant (ya, I know this is different, but it might comfort you)...is when she is in the elevator and the nurse is yelling DON'T PUSH.

madametj
10-26-2007, 06:26 PM
but why would a woman wear a top that says "maternity" is she wasn't pregnant?:??

feministmama
10-26-2007, 06:30 PM
Dave Barry says the ONLY time you are allowed to ask a woman if she's pregnant (ya, I know this is different, but it might comfort you)...is when she is in the elevator and the nurse is yelling DON'T PUSH.


:roflhard::roflhard::roflhard::roflhard:

I've had this too! Not on the T (though I'd love to ride the Red line and knit) but on the bus here in Portland OR. Yeah you don't want to be an *** but you don't want to be rude either. :shrug:

MellieThePooh
10-26-2007, 06:42 PM
Personally, I can't wait to get pregnant so I can say "what are you talking about?" when people ask about the baby, then laugh at 'em...it should be so fun.

Ironlung21
10-26-2007, 06:53 PM
It's so nice to hear someone being so concerned.
I commute in London - man its evil down there in the underground. I had my leg in plaster for months after a nasty break last year and despite crutches, orthopeadic boots, bandages and dirty looks - do you think I could get the miserable souls to offer me a seat? I was however chuffed to bits recently when I was offered a seat when some kindly type mistook my generous middle bit for a baby in waiting... a seat is some knitting time after all!

bip
10-26-2007, 08:17 PM
but why would a woman wear a top that says "maternity" is she wasn't pregnant?:??

Well, I pondered that too, but I think *I* actually have a similarly cut shirt so then I was back to square one...

kschmitz
10-26-2007, 09:34 PM
I think madametj and I were thinking the same thing, that the shirt literally said "maternity" on it. I just realized with your last post that you just meant that it was shaped like a maternity top. I was thinking that was a weird way for the lady to make a statement if she were pregnant. :rofl:

iwouldratherbeknitting
10-27-2007, 12:28 AM
Well, here's what I do-- I'm from the states and grew up in the south-- so, we're taught from an early age.. to offer help in any way to the elderly, those w/ young children, pregnant, or injured.

However, I now live in a huge city overseas.. and there's a lot of shoving and pushing... much less 'very little attempts' by the locals to offer their seats on the subway to any of the above mentioned groups.

So, I still do what I was taught to do-- respectfully.. (since, I don't speak the language- I get up and gesture to them and to my seat and they understand clearly what I meant- and most will take my offered seat.) I do it.. even though the 'locals' don't do so.. or do so very, very rarely.

I'd feel guilty if I didn't.. since, that is what I grew up with- know what I mean?

However, I was on crutches for 5 months a couple of years ago, and in a cast or the walking boot during that time.. and I was amazed at how little people help others out. I mean just holding the door open- so, I could manage to hobble inside on my crutches. I didn't dare try to go on the subway.. too many stairs (not all levels have escalors) and too much 'shoving and pushing' from crowds.

But, I do understand your desire to knit.. and as long as the lady didn't seem to be hugely pregnant, look ill/tired/stressed, or have a handful of children with her- it was fine to stay seated. :hug: