View Full Version : visiting elderly parents

11-02-2007, 10:24 AM
How do you decide when to visit elderly parents who live far away?
My parents are 82 (Mother) and 86 (Dad) and my mother has been sick lately. My two sisters are very close by and do a lot for them. I have been the only one who can help out financially, and they live in a house I own.

It's about a 7 hour drive to see them, and I have an 8 year old in school. My husband works full time, but I don't have any paying job.

When to visit? It's true my mother is feeling bad, but we were planning to visit during the holidays. Now I'm wondering whether I should go sooner. It would be a huge inconvenience for my husband and his business partner.

11-02-2007, 10:27 AM
Could you take your child out of school for a day before a weekend and go down with both of you?

Then your spouse could continue to work and you could get in a visit earlier than the Holidays.

Really... your child will remember the trip in later years more than ... their math facts! :thumbsup:

11-02-2007, 10:50 AM
A friend of mine says you will never regret the visit but you will regret not going. I think if you can work it out like Songbirdy suggests you will feel more at peace. You will know in your heart you made the effort and should anything happen before the holidays you will have that visit.:hug:

11-02-2007, 12:57 PM
I keep encouraging my dad to visit his mother (92) more often than he does. My mom lives a good 24-hour drive from her parents. I think there is a balance between living your life and taking care of all the necessary things and taking care of your parents. You end up doing the best you can under your circumstances, really. If you're asking for a ballpark how often to go, I'd try to go every 3-4 months or so (and if it's that infrequently, perhaps you and your DH can plan for it with his work schedule). And if you can't visit, call, let them know that you care, ask your siblings what you can do to help, and just keep in touch. They'll know that you love them even if you can't get there.

You might also talk with your DH about making some plans for an emergency trip which may come up either now or in the next few years - for example, if you suddenly need to get there because one of them is dying.