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Itsabtme
11-04-2007, 06:42 PM
DH & I just returned from Grocery Shopping at WalMart...DH was unloading the cart and putting things on the conveyor while I stood there and watched...(normally I would help, but my foot hurts)...anyway he looks at me and says "looks like somebody needs a nap"...I look up and say "who Me?" he said, "No, that baby, can't you hear her screaming?" I turned around and we were near the jewelry counter. I said "No, that baby just doesn't want holes in her ears!" Honestly, I am so used to children screaming at WalMart that I had just blocked it out....I usually want to scream while I'm there too! But, she was angry and I don't blame her. I just don't think that it is right to do that. Granted, she is so young that she'll probably never remember the trauma, but still. Maybe I'm just old school...I didn't have my first set done until I was 12 and then I got them done again when I was 21.

I thought it was cute for a long time, but now, after watching.....not so much. Now I think that the child should be given the choice which means waiting at least until they can TALK.

knitgal
11-04-2007, 06:54 PM
I agree! I think that one should be allowed to make their own decision about getting holes in their ears. I got mine done when I was 7 and although I loved having them, they kept getting infected and I was very sensitve to metal, so I could only wear gold earrings. I wanted to wear fun earrings, but no such luck. Also, back then you used alcohol to sterilize your earrings, apparently they don't do that anymore. Eventually they grew in because my ears hurt all the time. I got mine done again when I was about 20. Even at 20 it hurt...I'll admit it. I'm lucky now because I've grown out of my sensitivity to metal, but I'm still careful about what earrings I wear. Since babies can't make the decision to get holes in their ears, it's up to the parents, who ultimately don't have to suffer infected piercings.

iza
11-04-2007, 06:57 PM
I had my ears pierced when I was an infant. I grew up without any serious issues and I don't hate my mom. :teehee: Honestly I'm glad I had it done back then. :shrug:

rosefields
11-04-2007, 07:05 PM
In my culture (Mexican), our babies have thier ears pierced as infants. But I do believe it is personal choice to be made by the parent(s).

Ingrid
11-04-2007, 07:19 PM
It IS a very strong cultural thing, but jeez--take them to the doctor to have it done--not freakin' Walmart!!

The.Knitter
11-04-2007, 07:26 PM
I agree! I had my daughter's ears done when she was three months old, BY A DOCTOR!!! I had my granddaughter's ears done when she was three months old, AGAIN BY A DOCTOR. Now both can wear clip ons or pierced earrings whenever they chose to. It is a personal choice, but it looks so cute on the little girls to have pretty earrings, dainty ones. I never put cheap earrings in their ears. Both have had no problems. Walmart, geez!!!!!!

Itsabtme
11-04-2007, 07:40 PM
It IS a very strong cultural thing, but jeez--take them to the doctor to have it done--not freakin' Walmart!!
Thank You! THAT I would agree with. I do understand that it is done in some cultures. I was afraid to post this, because it is quite controversial, I just felt so badly for that baby. She couldn't have been 6 months old and then to see her poor little angry red cheeks when she and her mother were leaving, just broke my heart.

rissa
11-04-2007, 07:56 PM
A dear friend of mine had their little girl's ears pierced by a tat/piercing place. They are sooo used to doing piercings and have to be super clean and professional. They paid a whole lot more than they would have at WalMart but...they are glad they did. Yeah...Walmart is far from the best place to get it done.

I had mine done at 2nd grade, and to be honest, I wish I had them done as a baby. It didn't hurt horribly, but I played with them all the time and as a result they got infected so many times.

Its a hard decision to make as far as when to get them done, if at all. That would have been hard to see tho. :hug:

The.Knitter
11-04-2007, 08:09 PM
I take no offence from your comments. Nor do I hope you will take any from mine Jeanette.

My doctor said the best thing to do is get them done before they are one or after they are ten years of age. That way there is no "playing with" the earrings and much less chance of the child trying to pull it off and swallow it. When they are very young it is just a "part" of them and they never bother with them. This is what I did and I know my daughter didn't bother with them, nor did her daughter.

I waited both times until the child was sleeping to have it done and it never bothered either one at the time, or since (thankfully).

I have to stress that I did NOT put cheap earrings in their ears. I kept the ears good and clean and rotated the earrings often.

I can see that a wide awake child would be traumatized by such goings on, especially because they have to sit very still for a minute, which is more the problem than pain would be. It doesn't hurt to have it done. It is how the situation is handled at the time, and by the parent, that is the problem IMHO.

DianaM
11-04-2007, 08:15 PM
In my culture (Mexican), our babies have thier ears pierced as infants. But I do believe it is personal choice to be made by the parent(s).

Yep. Mine where pierced the day I was born.

MarthaStarWarsFan
11-04-2007, 08:27 PM
I'm an RN and worked in pediatrics the last 5 years.

We would pierce babies' ears at 6mos and up. I never took part in it just because personally I have a problem with ear piercing at that age...but the docs say it's just fine, very little problems with infections, etc.

I can't imagine piercing my baby's ears at Walmart! Eeek!

Spikey
11-04-2007, 08:44 PM
Most pediatricians actually recommend doing it before 6 months of age, as their earlobes are so thin they are very easy to pierce. Most of the babies don't even notice.
Hurts much less than doing it at 10 years of age, like we had to.
But I agree, a doctor or piercing professional, not WalMart for crying out loud!

Mommy22alyns
11-04-2007, 09:03 PM
This is always a guaranteed hot subject on any mommy board!

I haven't pierced either girls' ears. I strongly dislike the idea of doing it as a baby. That I would be subjecting my child to unnecessary pain simply for my aesthetic pleasure just didn't sit well with me.
I like to leave the girls unadorned as long as possible. I enjoy their fresh, childlike faces, as yet unmarred by the world we're living in.

I'm going to let Becca be the guide, wait for her to show interest in it. I've already explained what they do and that's put her right off the idea! In a few years if she does desperately want it no matter what, we'll cross that bridge then.

phisch
11-05-2007, 12:36 AM
Mine were done the day I was born. Back then, what the doctor did was dip a thread in mercurochrome and put that in the piercing. They'd remove it at some check up.

It was such a natural part of our culture that it never really occured to me that a girl would get to choose to have it done when she was older.

I have two boys now and that's one issue I'm glad I don't have to deal with.

LilHuskiesFootBallMom
11-05-2007, 01:00 AM
dh and i decided that if we ever have a daughter she can have her ears pierced when she's old enough to take care of them herself. I have my ears done, had them done when i was 5 or 6... i had my ears pierced a second time as a teenager (twice actually) and had to take them out as they kept getting infected and hte skin would grow OVER the back of the earring. As it stands, i can't even wear most earrings because the metal irritates my skin (Even the whisper earrings.. i can't wear gold or silver either... i have to stick to surgical steel and even then i can only wear them for an hour, MAYBE 2 at the most)

especially in this day and age when there are magnetic earrings that can be used for pictures :)

dustinac
11-05-2007, 10:20 AM
I couldn't see taking my baby to wal-mart either... I'm surprised they did it though...I've had mine pierced there before when my little girl was with me and when I asked about the piercings I was told first if it is for you ok...if it is for her we can't do it... :shrug: ...

My little girl is almost 4 and she wants them pierced cause she sees mine... but she doesn't understand that it will hurt so we will wait for awhile...

msoebel
11-05-2007, 10:38 AM
My grandmother took me to get my ears pierced when I was 5. She took my sister on her 5th birthday one year later.

My mom started talking about continuining the tradition with my dd, who is now 4. She wanted to be the one who takes her to get it done. It was supposed to be a big deal. Dd was all excited on her birthday this year, because she figured out it would only be one more year til she could wear earrings, too.

Then my mom chickened out. She said she didn't think she could actually be there when we had it done.:gah: So now I have a 4 year old who really wants to do it, was already told she was going to do it, and now I will have to take her.

If my mom hadn't made such a big deal out of it, she wouldn't even want it done! I certainly wouldn't have done it until she showed an interest in it. And now, since it's been promised, I have to. (We try to always keep our word to her).

Stupid grandmas. (said in the most loving, respectful way possible!):wink:

dustinac
11-05-2007, 10:52 AM
:teehee: oh yes I'd be dragging my mom with me on that day...:teehee:

mom says that my dad always said not until she is 18...when I was in kindergarten I crawled up on his lap one night with please daddy??? please??? mom said he looked at her and said you take her... Mom was like why me??? She took me and after they pierced the first I didn't want the 2nd one pierced...mom said it took some doing on getting me to let them finish :teehee:

GinnyG
11-05-2007, 10:55 AM
I have pretty strong feeling about it...... I too believe it is a personal choice, one that should be made by the person who is having holes put in their ears. I think pierced ears are very attractive but I think to inflict that pain on an infant is child abuse.

As for it not hurting a child under 6 months, every baby I have ever seen having it done is screaming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At what ever age the child can understand that this will hurt and it's your choice, then I think is fine. But to put an infant through such pain unnecessarily is terrible

msmelody
11-05-2007, 11:21 AM
Mine were done by my grandmother at the age of 5. Never had any problems, but my mother hated the fact that she was not there to share the experience with me. When I found out my first child was going to be a girl, my mother said "If you pierce her ears before she ask for it, I will kill you." I do not want to upset my mother, so we will wait. My DH is fine with that, because he thinks little girls with ear piercings do not look like little girls anymore.

We spend so much time trying to make the children grow up quickly, so I am going to let my DD stay little as long as possible.

knitgal
11-05-2007, 01:21 PM
What an interesting thread! When I posted I was mostly thinking of my own experiences and I didn't even think of any cultural reasons. If it is a cultural tradition, that's one thing, but I don't see the point of it on little girls for other reasons. This is just another reason why little girls are growing up too quickly. On another thread we discussed how bad it is that little girls can't be little girls anymore and how they're dressing "skanky" for Halloween. Well this is just another reason why. When they're allowed to do "grown up" things too early they want to be grown up, hence acting and dressing older. Little girls should be little girls and any body modification (because that's what it is) should wait until they're ready to make the decision themselves in a mature way.

scout52
11-05-2007, 02:27 PM
I'm Dominican and its a cultural thing as well to have your ears pierced as a baby. but my mother took me and my sister to the DOCTOR!!!! not freaking cheap *** walmart. what is strange is that walmart pierced the baby with that gun. I used to work at limited too and was licenesed to pierce ears and we were not allowed to pierce ears of children under the age of (I think it was 3 Its been awhile) because in Maryland by law they had to get them pierced by a doctor.

cftwo
11-05-2007, 02:47 PM
Cultural differences for sure! My grandfather (from conservative Dutch upbringing) made it clear to his DDs that if they got their ears pierced, he would pierce their nose. My dad thought that sounded like a good guideline. So when my mom got hers pierced at 40 (I don't know what her sisters did) we all quickly fell in line and got ours done, too. I was 18 or 19 and I still remember how the piercing smarted.

debinoz
11-05-2007, 03:58 PM
My DIL works at Wal-Mart and says they are not supposed to pierce if they are under 5, but she says she's seen them do it anyway.

mullerslanefarm
11-05-2007, 06:10 PM
My daughter had her ears pierced (at the doctor's office )as a gift from her godmother (from Argentina) for her baptism.
My own mother wouldn't let me get mine done until I was 13 (and then I got them doubled pierced (early 70's).
I didn't get my sons circumsized because I felt it was unneeded pain for an infant.

Itsabtme
11-05-2007, 07:41 PM
Thanks for all of your opinions & stories...I had no idea:hug:

I mentioned this to my coworkers today and the guy that sits behind me said that his SIL had his niece's ears pierced because she was tired of everyone telling her what a cute little BOY she had....I'm thinking a pink headband or a pink bow & some double-sided tape would have gotten the same affect, but, to each her own....lol

This has been quite educational for me. I wasn't even aware that ear piercing was performed in the Doctor's Office. My Mom did my first set (using a needle, a cork, and an ice cube around 1979):doh: ...and my second set was done at Claire's in the Mall.

dreamsherl
11-05-2007, 11:05 PM
I had my DD ears pierced at 8 months old by a doctor. It was done with some kind of device that hold the earring in one half and the back in the other. It is pinched through the ear. The first one was easy but she knew what was going to happen by the time the second one was done. She cried but not even as long as she would have when she had been given a shot. I would never have my ears pierced at WalMart. Yuch.

Songbirdy
11-06-2007, 12:48 AM
I had my daughter's ears pierced when she was two.

Like dreamsherl they used a similar device, only they used two. And they timed them to be done at exactly the same time. It was at the local salon but I checked around all over town carefully before choosing where we went to have them pierced.

She got mad, but because it was once... after a few seconds the shock wore off... I could tell she felt the burning sensation but that wore off quickly too!


I did it because I knew they would heal really well and really quickly. And they did. I also figured, that if she didn't want them later on... no worries.

I had mine done when I was ten. I was told by my parents not until later, but Grandma knew better!

And I was plagued with infections and metal issues, until I wore 22 karat gold earings for about 3 years.

I just wanted her to not have to go through that!


As for... looking like an adult... absolutely not! I keep her in small sleepers and occasionally, for a really, really special event, she can wear some of my fancy earings!

To me... its the whole picture that counts. Earings, or clothing, in of themselves may or may not be tacky/adult/skanky.... It is the appearance combined with the presentation.

And I am sad to say, but even my sheltered daughter picked up the "Britney hip" thingy by the time she was three... and we were very sheltered back then (no t.v., country living... single car that Dh had...)

MaleKnitter
11-06-2007, 01:50 AM
My daughter had her ears pierced (at the doctor's office )as a gift from her godmother (from Argentina) for her baptism.
My own mother wouldn't let me get mine done until I was 13 (and then I got them doubled pierced (early 70's).
I didn't get my sons circumsized because I felt it was unneeded pain for an infant.

THANK YOU! I was waiting for THAT to finally come up. Not being a girl or having a daughter (perhaps someday?) I didnt want to have to be the one to bring it up (it's a kind of taboo subject) as a similar situation. But it IS very similar and I would just like to bring up a second quote from earlier in this thread

This is always a guaranteed hot subject on any mommy board!

I haven't pierced either girls' ears. I strongly dislike the idea of doing it as a baby. That I would be subjecting my child to unnecessary pain simply for my aesthetic pleasure just didn't sit well with me.

yup, that says it all, and it expresses my opinion on both subjects.

Matdredalia
11-06-2007, 03:12 AM
I think doing it when they're infants seems kind of...well, mean. But then again, I'm not a fan of anything that causes a child unnecessary pain (for example, I don't believe in circumcision). Giving them a shot because it will help them is one thing...piercing the ears? Not so much..

I think it should be a person's choice whether or not to have their ears pierced, because once those holes are healed, they don't go away. What if the child doesn't ever want to have pierced ears?

I'm not saying it's going to traumatize the child or make them hate their parents, I just think it should be a choice.

However, all parents raise their children differently, and it is, ultimately, their decision. I don't have kids, and, well, there is a good chance that I may never due to medical conditions, but I do respect a parents rights to raise their children as they see fit as long as they're not abusing their child, so like I said, it's not my place.

Edit: I just noticed that someone a couple posts above mine mentioned the circumcision thing, too. Glad I'm not the only one who thinks along those lines, hehe.

CountryKitty
11-06-2007, 07:59 AM
My Mom took my 2 younger sisters and I to the doctor to have it done when I was 5 and they were 3 and 1. The doctor actually didn't want to do it--said that we didn't need earrings!:)

He was a sweet guy.

I didn't have my daughter's done as a baby for much the same reasons as everyone else. In fact, I didn't get my daughter's done until she was 12 and absolutely begged for it. Then after having the first one done she cried and wouldn't allow the lady to do the second. Ummm, I blush to admit it, but we had it done in the middle of the mall--she sat in that chair and insisted that she wanted it done but was scared to do it. The lady finally gave me a disposable plastic earring gun to take home and use there. (I did get her to hold still finally).

One word of caution for those considering one up in the cartilage part of the ear--because there are no blood vessels in the cartilage itself, the body is unable to fight off infection there. The resulting infection can actually land you in the hospital. (Learned tis in Anatomy Class as I was about to enter nursing school--classmate who sat next to me had it done anyway and wound up in hte hospital over one weekend because of the resulting infection and high fever).

Songbirdy
11-06-2007, 09:25 AM
:roflhard: I knew circumcision would come up!

There can be good reasons to consider this... and we should be careful in further discussion to use careful words here!

For one... there is very successful anaesthetics available.

For another... lets just say you know of a family condition... and have watched several older male family members elect to have the procedure to correct this issue...

After watch those men go through the healing... then discovering how many other family males have had the same issue...

You might feel very strongly that what the doctor is recommending is a good choice. And you might just be very impressed at how your son's recovery is nothing like what you watched the other's go through!



Naturally, there are both sides to every story! I just ask that you consider that there might be reasons you are not aware of... and yes, I am aware that not everyone chooses for their son given the same circumstances.

:hug: For the record... in my opinion... ear piercing is far more cosmetic than circumcision. To put the two on a level playing field is very... simplistic!

mum2caden
11-06-2007, 06:24 PM
My parents had mine done when I was only a few months old (3 or 4 I think- they probabaly would have done it sooner, but I was a preemie and born 3 months early). I have neevr wished they weren't there, and in fact was quite glad because while these holes never grow over, no matter how long i go without earrings, all my other piercings grow over within days.

I personally see nothing wrong with it- and it does seem to me that those that do often didn't get theirs done until much later in life. Often they dealt with infections and other problems, but when you are a baby, you aren't pulling at them and as you grow up they are just there, so you don't end up with those same issues.

I have a son, but when I have a daughter, I won't even question it, I will get it done and likely before 4 or 5 months of age too. As for Wal-mart, well you can tell by looking if they are as clean as they should be, so I wouldn't even be all that concerned about that.

I will probably ask to get both done at the same time as my parents did for me though..

mum2caden
11-06-2007, 06:35 PM
but I think to inflict that pain on an infant is child abuse.


I really hate it when people throw that word around so lightly. Talk to some adults and children who have truly been abused, and see if you'd still equate ear piercing to child abuse...

It's along the same vein to me as those who tell me it was "child abuse" that I had my son circumsized- but they have no clue about the health reasons for getting it done that run in the family.

I know it is simply ignorance to what abuse really is most of the time, but it gets old really fast...

iza
11-06-2007, 08:22 PM
I totally agree mum2caden. To see child abuse in this (ear piercing or circumcision) is just ridiculous. There are far worst things you can do to your kids, and many things aren't detectable on a "scream-o-meter". Bad parenting, bad food, bad education, wrong values, that's thousands of times worst!

Nobody on this board could be a better mom than my mom, even if she did the "horror" of piercing my ears when I was a baby. I know, I'm not very objective... but really, she's a great mom. :teehee:

ecb
11-06-2007, 09:53 PM
as to the 'make her look like a Girl' thing
I was in an ACME supermarket one day and my (then) 18 month old daughter was in the shopping cart seat wearing a white turtleneck shirtwith frilly Pink stitching, and Osh Kosh overalls with Pink Stitching, and her little Gold Studs in her ears (from a YEAR earlier) and this LITTLE (maybe 4' tal) old lay came up to me an in an absolute RAGE asked me if I actually thought HE would appreciate my having had BOTH HIS ears pierced. Being a Nurse, and knowing that MY reality had little or nothing to do with her anger I just said "No Mam". She just walked away from me (thank GOD)

When I got my 3 daughters ears pierced, they were 5-6 months old, I was told that the scar tissue babies make is softer and more skin like and less scar like. each timeI went to get it done (at a reputable beauty parlor with only the trained people doing it) I went to them the week before we had it done to discuss how to have it less traumatic. The pediatrician recomended I nurse her while I was done. I did and the owner of the parlor joked that he had never been LESS interested in catching a Glimps under a womans shirt than that day, then wen i brought in my Second daughter he just GROANED and looked to the heavens asking "is this one gonna get her ears done TOO?!?!?!?" The same person did all 3 kids, and they were all done with only a second or so of cryng, not loud long lasting wails of pain. The Nursing was both comforting and nourishing, and helped them to foget that pinch that hurt them so much a few seconds before.
The Guy who pierced their ears has actually recomended that babies be fed while their ear gets done (prefferably the good stuff from Mom) SInce he saw how quickly they calmed down with that as a distraction

JMHO
ecb

Sheridan
11-06-2007, 10:10 PM
When I have a daughter I won't be getting her ears pierced without her permission. I don't think I have that right, they are not my ears.

I haven't had my son circumcised either. If he wants to when he is older than I will support that decision. Its his penis.

My friend's son who is eight is having a few retraction problems and he wants to be circumcised, so she is getting him done. I think this is the right choice because its his choice to make.

The owner of the ears should decide, same as the owner of the penis should decide.

I know of two grown men who have chosen to be circumcised and they both healed well and were happy with their decision. I think that is a case for informed consent rather than a case for circumcision.

I have a friend who got her baby's ears pierced recently. They are crooked but she can't take it out without the child screaming, so its staying crooked. It looks ridiculous and painful because its at the top of the earlobe. Poor little thing.

mum2caden
11-07-2007, 12:07 AM
Well, while I do see the point in the "owner should decide" fact is, I have never had an issue with the fact that my ears were pierced without my permission, and am in fact quite glad it was done... but also, my husband is circumsized and he doesn't have an issue with that either... so while the argument seems valid, it's not all that realistic. I think people make all of this into more of an issue then they really need to...I mean do what you do, but to claim that a parent who choses ear piercing or circumcision is being cruel in some way, or abusing their child is to me just someone playing holier than thou... if you feel that way, fine, but realize how you sound and how you are coming across to others.

I am okay with opinions, but judgements on others ticks me off.

bobi1218
11-07-2007, 12:28 AM
My daughter can have her ears pierced when she is old enough to ask for them to be, and my husband and I feel she is responsible enough to take care of them. At the rate she's going, I'm guessing that age will be somewhere around 32 :lol:

Since its been brought up, I'll add my 2 cents: we don't circ either. We have no reason to (no medical reason in the family, no religious reason), and felt it was unnecessary. And no, my MIL squealing "But its soooo DIRTY!" is not a reason. Actually, we made the right choice - DS was hospitalized with a UTI when he was 5 weeks old. It turned out he had a kidney problem that would have gone undiagnosed and possibly caused permanent damage if he had been circ'ed and hadn't caught a UTI so easily.

On both these issues, I'm a firm believer in 'to each their own.' I would never judge another parent for making a different choice, just as I hope no one judges us for our choices.

Gretaoto
11-07-2007, 01:08 AM
This is interesting but ear piercing is surely as cosmetic as you can get for a baby. There is NO need to get it done so why do it? What is next make-up on your baby to make them look cuter too? Bad enough young girls want to be ladies but they are almost forced into believing it is okay to want to add on to what is given to you, thus making them think beauty is all on the outside.

Why not just focus on caring for them as they are, and making sure they know you don't need to wear make-up or jewelry to be beautiful, that the real beauty is what comes from within?

I hate how this society is so focused on how good or cute we look when there are way bigger things to consider day-to-day.

If you can't find your daughter to be cute or pretty without earrings, how good of an example are you setting? These are the same girls that grow up getting plastic surgery and wearing make-up 24/7. Why don't we just knit our daughers cute outfits and hats instead.

Sheridan
11-07-2007, 06:14 AM
Well, while I do see the point in the "owner should decide" fact is, I have never had an issue with the fact that my ears were pierced without my permission, and am in fact quite glad it was done... but also, my husband is circumsized and he doesn't have an issue with that either... so while the argument seems valid, it's not all that realistic.


It's realistic in our house.

Your house I am not so concerned with.

So its all good.

Susan P.
11-07-2007, 08:32 AM
Sheridan..I have no dispute with your decision regarding piercings however, technically, parents do many 'things' to their children without their permission. Immunisation is one of them (unless of course you - generic 'you' - refuse to immunise). Of course one rationalises these things but the fact remains we sometimes decide to act in ways that cause interventions to our children's bodies - without their permission.

In terms of earrings, obviously with your value stance one would wait until the child decides. BUT, what if your 8 year old insists they want a tattoo? They're giving permission..but will daddy? :)

I'm being a little tongue in cheek obviously.

mhansen
11-07-2007, 04:47 PM
I had my ears pierced when I was 10 and I fainted. I let my daughter make the decision to pierce her own ears when she was an older teenager. I personally feel like it's the child's choice not the parents or anyone elses. I know that if my mother did not pierce my ears when I was little I would never have had them pierced.

Phretys
11-09-2007, 02:55 AM
My mom refused to let me go out and get my ears pierced when I was a kid -- I suffered from all sorts of allergies and she was an infection-phobe. When I was 17 I took a couple of her sewing needles and pierced my own ears.

I considered having my daughter's ears pierced when she was an infant, but then I decided to let her choose for herself when she was older because I knew a few women who were unpierced and preferred to stay that way. She was 7 when she finally asked me to let her get her ears pierced, and the whole procedure wasn't a big deal other than the kidlet being excited about getting some purty earrings. She was good at keeping her earlobes and earrings cleaned every night for six months, but was relieved to quit the cleaning routine once the holes were permanent.

My brother and his wife had their first daughter's ears pierced as a baby, but there were problems mostly with the earrings falling out and getting lost, and the holes eventually closed up. They didn't bother with their second daughter.

Debi

Sheridan
11-09-2007, 09:03 AM
Sheridan..I have no dispute with your decision regarding piercings however, technically, parents do many 'things' to their children without their permission. Immunisation is one of them (unless of course you - generic 'you' - refuse to immunise). Of course one rationalises these things but the fact remains we sometimes decide to act in ways that cause interventions to our children's bodies - without their permission.

In terms of earrings, obviously with your value stance one would wait until the child decides. BUT, what if your 8 year old insists they want a tattoo? They're giving permission..but will daddy? :)

I'm being a little tongue in cheek obviously.

Agreed. We do things sometimes without their permission. I prefer to make sure these things are not purely cosmetic, because I don't feel a sense of ownership over my child. I am here to guide him, nourish him and love him, but he is on his own journey.

Besides which, I make beautiful babies, they need no extra adornment.

Some other people's kids might need that liddle bit of extra cuteness.

*wink*

Knitting_Guy
11-09-2007, 11:05 PM
Ugly children should be dressed up in some fashion or other even if it means punching holes in them. :shrug:

Seriously though, this is one of those personal values topics where everyone has their own opinion about it ( kinda like a certain anatomical part). It's your kid, if you think punching holes in them is the right thing to do, go for it. It's nobody else's business and the kid will get over it.

cookworm
11-10-2007, 12:07 AM
they kept getting infected and I was very sensitve to metal, so I could only wear gold earrings.
I have mixed feelings on this topic, so I won't comment. :wink:
But I thought it might be helpful to point out to those that currently suffer or have suffered from pain and/or infections with their piercings, you may have an allergy or sensitivity to nickel...I do. Most of the time, if I wear nickel-free earrings, I'm okay (but even now sometimes, I'll get a pair that bug me--even some gold earrings bother me). My older daughter also has a nickel sensitivity so she wears the nickel-free earrings, and although I don't know if my younger daughter has the sensitivity or not, I bought her nickel-free ones anyway just to be safe.

scout52
11-10-2007, 04:45 AM
not to get off topic but cookwork you're a twin? i'm a twin. are you identical? or fraternal? everyone always considered me the mean twin. :)

StefannyJo
11-10-2007, 09:26 PM
I haven't read through all the posts. BUT in response to the doctor posts.... My mom waited until I was 15 so I could have a choice, but then made me get them because I had always wanted them (By that time I didn't want them) ANYWAY, she couldn't find a doctor to do them, they told her to bring me to the mall. I don't know when y'all got them done at a doctor, but 14 years ago they wouldn't do them, not even a dermatologist.

IMHO, I have 2 daughters, 2 and 3 and their ears are not pierced. I will get them done, but I had enough to take care of with a newborn, I didn't feel like I needed another item to make sure didn't get infected.

jodstr2
11-10-2007, 11:37 PM
I reeeeeally really really wanted my ears pierced as far back as I can remember. I fought with my parents from time to time while growing up, but they refused. no real reason was given that I can remember, it was just "no!". finally when I was 16 we got into this huge argument and I won. I got them pierced at a jewelry store the next day. befroe I was 19, I pierced them myself 6 more times (4 in the right and 2 in the left) with the piercing studs soaked in rubbing alcohol, and ice to numb the lobes. my dad gave my mom a hard time - "see what happens 'cuz we refused to let her do it?" :roflhard: in all seriousness tho I just really wanted multiple holes to wear teeny earrings in all the time. I'm going on 37 yrs old now and have always worn earrings in all 8.

would I pierce my daughter's ears (if I had a daughter)? idk. honestly little earrings on little girls are really cute, to me, but... idk.

rosefields
11-11-2007, 12:44 AM
Seriosly though, this is one of those personal values topics where everyone has their own opinion about it ( kinda like a certain anatomical part). It's your kid, if you think punching holes in them is the right thing to do, go for it. It's nobody else's business and the kid will get over it.

My sentiments exactly! :cheering:

brightspot
11-11-2007, 02:43 AM
I got both my girls' (Mexican) ears pierced when they were about 3 months old at an ear piercing place. They had two workers and did both ears at the same time. It didn't bother either girl. They didn't even bat an eyelash and they were awake.

SabrinaJL
11-11-2007, 03:15 AM
I disagree with piercing an infants ears. Even if it is a little thing and even if the kid does "get over it", it's still a permanent alteration of your child's body and for what? I don't think I need to teach my child right out of the womb that altering her body will make her cuter.

As far as the argument about immunizations and whatnot, those are things to protect a child and keep them safe. It's not even in the same league as ear piercing.

Also, if I got drunk and passed out one night and my husband decided I'd look great with a nose ring and took it upon himself to give me one, I'd be angry. That's my decision, nobody else's. So I wouldn't do something like that to my child.

I absolutely don't think parents who get their child's ears pierced are abusive and I think to say so is a little over the top. I don't even think it makes them bad parents, I just choose to conduct my relationship with my child differently.

mum2caden
11-11-2007, 11:16 AM
As far as the argument about immunizations and whatnot, those are things to protect a child and keep them safe. It's not even in the same league as ear piercing.



True, but we also don't know what effect we are having in the long run with them (possible cause of autism, etc) plus, some of the things used to preserve these vaccines are just not good to put into the human body. Everyone assumes these are just all necessary, but if you really look into them, it's kind of scary.

So while it isn't the same league as ear pierecing, the fact remains, they could be the cause of autism or food allergies or whatever- and trust me, THAT will have much more effect on your child then ear piercing ever will, won't it now?

SabrinaJL
11-11-2007, 05:03 PM
Yes, but these are issues that are only just starting to gain awareness. People did/do it under the assumption that they are protecting their chid from disease. When I had my daughter vaccinated 13 years ago, I was one of those people that assumed it was necessary. In my book, protection from life-threatening diseases was necessary, ear piercing was not.

hummingbird
11-11-2007, 09:07 PM
My parents wouldn't let me get my ears pierced until I wa 14. They let my 12 year old sister get them pierced around the same time. I was so mad. It didn't really hurt to get mine done. Wearing those clip on earings hurt way more than getting them pierced.
I would wait until a child asked, but let them get their ears pierced if they wanted.

geekgolightly
11-11-2007, 10:54 PM
Circumcision is very personal with a huge cultural tradition attached to it. I would never think badly of anyone who circumcised their child.

Here's food for thought. The foreskin is very sensitive tissue and when left intact can provide enhanced sexual stimulation. And it's strange to say "enhanced" because that is the natural state of the penis. Men, fortunately, are able to have perfectly amazing orgasms without it, so it certainly isn't necessary for pleasure. And there are legitimate health reasons for a certain percentage of the population to receive a circumcision, including phimosis and adhesions.

I think it's important to examine your own cultural traditions and family health history, and if you come to the conclusion that this is in line with your own ideas and values and needs, then you have made the best decision for you.

Earrings are just another cultural tradtion and the health risks are so small and the pain so brief, I am surprised that it ever comes up as controversy.

mum2caden
11-12-2007, 06:49 PM
You said it all wonderfully! :)

inkaholic
11-13-2007, 12:51 AM
My mom's rule was that we had to wait for our first communion, so when I was six or so I got my ears pierced with tiny little gold cross earrings. My dad was so mad at her; he has always felt that any kind of piercing was "barbaric". Later he was mad at me, too, when I got my second and third holes when I turned 12. My older sister got her original holes done before her first communion too, but my younger sister has never wanted them. I offered to pay for her to get earrings for her 12th birthday, but NOPE. Doesn't want them. She's afraid of the pain. Good for my dad, though--he suffered enough with we first two, what with the body piercing and the tattoos and everything. He keeps saying he's glad it's over. We'll see what happens when my little sister and brother get older :teehee:

Jitendra
11-13-2007, 11:45 AM
I think if I had a daughter I'd probably get her ears pierced when she was a baby. That way she'd be instantly cool to all her friends, because it was always the cool girls who got their ears pierced first. Plus lots of indian girls have their ears done when they are babies

But I'd make sure the earrings were stainless steel or gold or something. I'm allergic to nickel, which I didn't find out for several years after I got my ears pierced when I was 8 or 9. They have been repierced so many times by salon women who had no clue what they were doing, I can't even wear earrings anymore.

cookworm
11-19-2007, 02:14 AM
Hi Scout! Not trying to hijack this post, but just to answer Scout's question. Yes, I'm a twin--identical. Three minutes apart; I'm the younger twin. Being the "younger" twin now that we're adults has better bragging rights than being the "older" twin! (hee hee hee) My sister was always the complacent, "non-dominant" twin that went along with everything; in fact, she was always too nice, and got walked on a lot through life. We're kind of on an even keel personality-wise these days so I guess maybe I'm no longer "the mean twin"? ;)

What about you? Are you identical?

knitncook
11-19-2007, 10:21 AM
I realize for some people it is a cultural thing. All the baby girls I ever saw when we lived in Spain had their ears peirced when they were very young.

Personally, I don't understand it. It's not my body so I have no rights to do anything permanent to their bodies. But to each their own. Parents need to make decisions that they think are best for their children.

scout52
11-19-2007, 02:21 PM
Hi Cookworm

Yep I'm identical. we are only 1 minute apart due to a c-section. I'm the older one. I was the more aggressive twin, always more out-spoken. Though she would speak up if the situation arose (like if she saw me ever be threatened or my lil brother or sis.) I even got suspended from pres-school for punching a boy and splitting his lip because he hurt my twin. LOL. who gets suspended from pre-school? but hey I had to protect her. so i got label the mean twin very early on.

My parents always put the "older" twin responsibility on me. which was kinda dumb because I was only older bc I was on top during the c-section. If we were born naturally who knows who would have been older.