View Full Version : Birthday depresstion- update with yarn goodness!
01-10-2008, 02:20 PM
Does anyone else have a hard time with their birthday? For me it has nothing to do with getting older, I turn 30 tommorrow, and really that doesn't bother me. I always feel like my birthday is depressing! I love other peoples birthdays and go out of my was to make them special. When it comes to my birthday, I am usually lucky to get a phone call from those that I fuss over. I have actually been forgotten several times by my entire family. I am very much an introvert, I don't have many friends outside my family. But I am very giving and loveing to those around me, I think. I guess I just feel really bummed out that they don't do the same for me. As an example, my best friend, who also happens to be my only female cousin, turned 30 2 years ago. I planned a surpride dinner out for her, went through all the effort of tracking down phone numbers of her friends and family, calling them all, getting her there etc. We live over an hour apart and when she didn't want to go home with her planned ride, I offered her a ride home after if she wanted to go out to a few bars (ended up being a 2 hour drive to get her home, another 1 1/2 hours to get me home from her house). And I enjoyed doing that for her.
I told everyone I didn't want a big party, not my style. But I told her it would be nice if we had dinner and drinks with a few friends for my bday. She says to me last week "what are you doing for your birthday" asking if my dh and I were doing anything cause she wasn't going to be around and she wanted to make sure she wasn't expected to do anything for me. I was pretty sad by that but said no we had plans and she was off the hook. I mean, what else are you supposed to say, take me out to dinner?
So, DH and I planned a night away to a casino a couple hours away from home. DS was going to grammies tonight, I set it all up. I went to get DS dressed this AM, he has a fever of 101.6, now my birthday is completly done in. I am wishing we could just skip tommorow. Oh well, sorry for the rant, thanks for listening!:muah:
01-10-2008, 02:25 PM
This happens to me every year. It doesn't help that my birthday is always next to Father's Day, or the weekend closest.
One year I decided to cancel my 30th party that I planned because I felt like everyone was trying to decide between me and their father.
I've become very jaded. Unfortunately with time I've stopped trying to do extra special things for my family and friends. For me, I couldn't put out that energy any more and feel so wounded because of the lack of any return.
:hug: I understand! I feel the same way as well. I don't mind getting older, but I don't like it when it's my birthday. It's in mid-august, and most people I know are in vacations at that time. My parents are always away, sometimes my boyfriend has to travel for conferences. I don't have a lot of close friends, and the few I have don't live near me. :shrug:
I'm sure you can plan something fun and relaxing at home with your hubby. Put on your pajama, watch a good movie, have a hot chocolate, and "hire" your husband for a nice massage. :teehee: Even if you don't go out, treat yourself, you deserve it! :hug:
01-10-2008, 03:01 PM
oh, honey--what a bummer! Maybe the fever thing will stop quickly--my DD had a 102.5 fever for 4 hours a couple days ago. No other symptoms of anything and no fever since...(fingers crossed). Maybe you should just go anyway, get away a bit. If no one else is going to do it for you, throw yourself a little party! Not as "special" feeling as when someone else gushes over you I know, but...at least your guests won't outstay their welcome!
Happy Birthday from me!:)
01-10-2008, 03:09 PM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRHTDAY CHRISSY B HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!!! :muah: :muah: :muah: :muah:
Pick another day to celebrate your Birthday you and your DH should go have a great night out to celebrate YOU even if it is next week you should do it anyway...I know it is hard to forget how others treat you but I think you will end up feeling worse if you treat yourself the same waythey do . :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
I never realized how special Birthdays were until someone pointed it out to me...It was my bestfriend and since yours is MIA I am stepping in and telling you to CELEBRATE the day you were born....if others can't see that you deserve a great day well...then just poo on them!!....there that is my butting in for the day :). Again HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
01-10-2008, 04:53 PM
I'm so sorry!
My husband forgot my birthday two years in a row, so I understand.
I, personally, don't like too much attention. I'm great one-on-one with people, but I do not like to have extra attention given to me. But, I understand that it's nice to have our thoughtfulness reciprocated. Unfortunately, some people are simply more thoughtful than others.
You seem to have the gift of giving. Take joy in the happiness that you are able to provide to others.
Pamper yourself on your birthday, since others aren't doing it for you. Go to the salon, if that's your thing, or order some nice yarn in time for your birthday.
01-10-2008, 05:17 PM
First of all, Happy Birthday!!!:balloons:
Secondly, I know how you feel, my birthday has never been a big deal even when I was little. I think my parents had one party for me and that was after I begged for it.
I turned 40 this past September and I kind of thought my husband might do something nice but work was more important. I think I ended up cooking my own dinner, honestly the whole day sucked so bad I don't even remember it. My parents sent me a generic card and my friends forgot. I've given up being the social director for everyone else, as selfish as it sounds sometimes it's nice to have the thought and time you give to others reciprocated.
01-10-2008, 05:39 PM
:muah: :muah: :muah: :muah: Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
its not selfish to wish for one day that people celebrate the joy of YOU!! You are a wonderful person and your best friend is a pooper she obviously is selfish and did not appreciate AT ALL what you did for her because if she did she would have at least done something anything for your birthday. You are a giving person and that is obvious since your husband wanted to take you to Foxwoods for a fabulous alone time with you. Hopefully your son will feel better real soon and you will still get your birthday weekend!!
Happy Birthday :muah::present:
I hope you have a nice day, even if your plans are spoilt :pout: Try and pamper yourself a bit if you can :hug:
01-10-2008, 07:16 PM
Happy Birthday :muah: I hope that your son gets to feeling better and his fever goes away so that you and your husband can continue celebrating your special day. If not, please do something special for yourself that day and celebrate your birthday with him maybe another day. :muah: :hug:
01-10-2008, 07:17 PM
Thanks so much everyone. I felt so much better just writing that, and all your resposes made me feel even better. DS is doing ok, he is up and down, don't think it is anything serious, but I never would have had fun knowing he was sick. DH came home early, we went and got a couple movies and a frozen pizza and some Ben and Jerry's. So all is ok. I think I just needed to express how bad it felt, now its better. I think I might just order some yarn though, just to make me feel even better! Thanks so much guys, you are all so great!! :muah: :muah: :muah: :muah: :muah:
01-10-2008, 07:43 PM
Just wanted to send you a hug- my b-day's in 3 days and we have four sick, fevered, coughing and vomiting kids on our hands. I'm not feeling so great either.
I hope your ds is feeling better asap!
I am sorry your friends treat you this way, it is sad, especially when you go out of your way to remember them!!! I am glad to hear you're feeling better, tho-and happy happy belated from me!!!:balloons::present:
01-11-2008, 02:51 PM
I hear you on this birthday thing. Mine was Christmas eve. and it was a bit of a dud. Holiday's are never a good time for people to remember a birthday. They are either out of money, time, too busy, sick, etc. I guess the older we get it would still be kind of nice if we felt special. So.........from me to you. Happy belated Birthday!! Here's to us.:cheering:
01-11-2008, 06:40 PM
Happy Birthday to YOU. I use to send flowers to my mother on My birthday to say thank you for giving birth to me, but rarely did she do anything for my birthday. I was born on her mother's b-day, and once my grandmother passed, my mother decided the day just did not exist anymore. Treat yourself if no one else will, because everyone will start to treat you the way you treat yourself.
01-11-2008, 06:47 PM
Happy Belated Birthday!!! :balloons::present:
01-11-2008, 08:17 PM
Thanks again everyone! The day turned out to be pretty darn good anyway! DS ended up being sick for about 4 hours yesterday, then he was fine. It was too late at that point to stick to our plans though. DH got up with him this AM so I got to sleep. Then DH cleaned the house, and we headed out. We dropped DS off at his grandparents house, then went on a little drive to a not so local yarnstore, Patternworks. It was a great trip! I think the most fun was yarn shopping with DH, he was fun. He checked out the labels on all the yarns to see where they were made, checked out the knitted display items and was very interested in something he has no interest in at all, it was very sweet.
In the end I got a pair of sz 2 addi turbos (magic loop socks in my future!), 2 skeins of renoylds soft sea wool, 1 pink 1 white, a skein of cotton fleece, and a skein of J. Knits hand dyed sock yarn, and a knitters rule JR. Oh and last night I bought 2 skeins of shepard sport online, hee hee, it made me fell better!
Then we had dinner with the inlaws (who are fantastic) and cake. Very nice day after all. Thanks again for all your kind words.
01-11-2008, 08:53 PM
Happy Birthday. I am glad it wasn't such a bust after all.
I have about given up bothering with anyone but DH Dad and Mom on my bday.
My best friend is born 6 days after me, so we normally combine our party.... and it always ends up being HER party. But she is literally my only good close friend and I adore her for her selfish, evil ways... it's really part of her charm. haha.
So when the party is filled with all her friends (people I like but do not know well) it transforms easily. Last year was the only year my half of the party was acknowledged by someone else there. Her cousin gave me a card and hug and I love him for it, but me and him have been off and on friends since 1999...(we ran in different circles until we had his cousin in common) I wish he hadn't moved out west.
I have had friends promise me birthday surprises and parties and get togethers for years. I just decided it is so much easier to not bother with them.
But DH still gets all excited about my bday, and my mom comes over and we keep it small and nice. Last year we rented a movie, and I made some spaghettie because my mom never gets to eat my spaghettie and it's her fave. Everyone was shocked "you cooked on your birhday?"
I find I enjoy it more when I don't expect anyting for anyone. It used to get me down alot because I was like you and would do everything for them on their birthdays, but I no longer bother. I merely attend if invited.
Again I am glad it was a good day. Simplicity can be perfection.
01-11-2008, 11:32 PM
yay new yarn! Happy birthday today! (Glad son is better too...those kiddos...)
01-12-2008, 07:12 AM
Happy birthday :clink::present::balloons:! I turned out ok, didn't it? Besides, it looks like you have a great hubby and wonderful inlaws, so you can be thankful for that and just don't mind the selfish friends! My DH and I always celebrate my birthday by ourselves, without parties or anything...and you got all this pretty yarn!
01-13-2008, 05:43 PM
It sounds like you had a nice birthday after all -- good for you! :thumbsup:
My DS was born 3 days before my 31st birthday and DD was born the day after DH's 34th b-day, so I've been making jokes that our birthdays don't matter anymore -- it's all about the kids! ;)
I'm one that doesn't like fuss anyway -- the only thing I insist on is that DH and the kids take me out to dinner for my birthday. :lol:
But that's just me. Looking at your photo, I'm thinking that a trip to the LYS would be a wonderful too! That yarn is so beautiful! :inlove:
01-14-2008, 09:23 AM
:hug: Glad your birthday turned out better than expected!