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Jan in CA
02-05-2008, 05:14 PM
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting departmen t, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least ..

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Regards,
Walmart

ladyjessica
02-05-2008, 05:24 PM
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Rabbitrescuer
02-05-2008, 06:09 PM
:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

lelvsdgs
02-05-2008, 07:06 PM
Oh my gosh, it's my dad!!! :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

Jaxhil
02-05-2008, 07:36 PM
:chair:

I printed this off for my hubby-I just hope it doesn't give him any ideas :teehee:

boo1
02-05-2008, 07:39 PM
I sure needed it!!!! :rofl:

auburnchick
02-05-2008, 08:13 PM
:roflhard:

Thanks for a chuckle. I needed it -- especially since I'm in the middle of mid-terms.

laptop_knitter
02-05-2008, 08:58 PM
:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

knitgal
02-05-2008, 09:31 PM
That's hilarious! Some of those are really good ideas!

msoebel
02-06-2008, 10:54 AM
If you have ever gone shopping with a teenage boy, you would know that these are things that WILL happen.

The last time we were at the store late at night, we got in trouble because they were pretending that one was a dr and the other was a patient in heart failure. They were using the electric sanders as "shock paddles".:roflhard:

Oh, and they found the biggest pair of glittery red shoes they could find, and were wearing them around the store, clicking their heels together and saying, "There's no place like home. There's no place like home.":)

And they tried on women's clothing. When the one kid came out of the dressing room in a dress, I thought the attendant would have a stroke. She finally just said that she didn't think it was his color.

Wanda Witch
02-06-2008, 02:16 PM
All of you really brightened up MY day. Hilarious.....

Jan in CA
02-06-2008, 02:27 PM
Misty, that is hilarious!!:roflhard:

knittingymnast
02-08-2008, 10:17 AM
:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard: