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View Full Version : I am so sad... my sister...


jennylozano
02-18-2008, 11:57 AM
I am sorry I am opening a thread to tell a sad story. I just need to at least write it. My dear sister was, finally, pregnant. She is a patient of the ovaric policystic syndrome (sp) and becoming pregnant was a beautiful surprise. She was almost 16 weeks but she had been feeling pain in her lower abdomen. Her gyn said it was normal. But last night my sister's fiance took her to the hospital because the pain was really bad. At the hospital, my sister had an ultrasound, blood tests and everthing seemed OK. There was still one more test needed. An urine test. My sister, helped by her fiance, went to the restroom to take the sample... and taking it, the little baby came out of her vagina, dead. Writing this I am crying because that must has been so terrible for my little sister. And I am not with her because I am in Wisconsin and she lives in Puerto Rico. I am thinking to make a quick trip (thuesday to thursday) there just to hug her and tell her that her suffering is my suffering and that I love her so much and that I am with her in this terrible moment.
Thank you for reading my post.

dustinac
02-18-2008, 12:01 PM
:hug: I'm so sorry to read about your sister's loss...they are in my thoughts....:heart:

knittingymnast
02-18-2008, 12:04 PM
I am so sorry! :hug:

sue in canada
02-18-2008, 12:10 PM
I am so sorry to hear of your sister's loss. Healing thoughts are going out to both of you.

gingerbread
02-18-2008, 12:13 PM
So sorry for your sisters loss:hug:

iza
02-18-2008, 12:16 PM
I'm so sorry... :hug: I'm thinking of you and your sister. :heart:

Ingrid
02-18-2008, 12:18 PM
How awful! My prayers go out to her and your family.:pray:

willowangel
02-18-2008, 12:27 PM
I am so, so sorry - I had to give birth to a dead child, and it was terrible beyond words. I hope that she and her fiance can find peace in time, and make sure they know that grieving is necessary and allowed. People kept trying to tell me that it was ok because I'd never known my child, but that makes it worse, in a way - so let them know how important it is to name their baby if they feel able, to recognise the existence, however short, of this life.

msoebel
02-18-2008, 12:30 PM
I am so sorry!

Spikey
02-18-2008, 12:33 PM
I am so sorry for your family's loss. My thoughts go out to all of you.

KnittingNat
02-18-2008, 12:40 PM
I'm so sorry :hug: Tell your sister that there are many good people praying for her and wishing her all the well. My thoughts are with you and your family :grphug:

jennylozano
02-18-2008, 12:42 PM
I am so, so sorry - I had to give birth to a dead child, and it was terrible beyond words. I hope that she and her fiance can find peace in time, and make sure they know that grieving is necessary and allowed. People kept trying to tell me that it was ok because I'd never known my child, but that makes it worse, in a way - so let them know how important it is to name their baby if they feel able, to recognise the existence, however short, of this life.

Thanks so much for sharing that, willowangel, and I am sorry you had to experience such a pain. That must have been so much suffering... and sometimes people just don't know better and try to say whatever sounds OK. I don't know what I will say to my sister when I see her. I just want to hug her and cry with her. I know miscarriages happen. But the fact that she took that dead baby in her own hands when she was taking that urine sample breaks my heart terribly. I am so sorry because I am sure she will have that image in her mind forever.

KnitWit1987
02-18-2008, 12:47 PM
I am so sorry for your sister. Sending many hugs and prayers to both of you. :hug:

ritaw
02-18-2008, 01:00 PM
I am so sorry for your sisters loss.

Jan in CA
02-18-2008, 01:11 PM
:hug:

jjminarcik
02-18-2008, 01:18 PM
I cannot even imagine what your sister is going through. I'm sending many prayers to her, you, and your family. :hug: :hug:

nonny2t
02-18-2008, 01:21 PM
Oh honey, how sad. Please know that I will pray for her and her husband and your family. What a tragic thing to happen.:hug: :hug: :hug:

Abbily
02-18-2008, 01:32 PM
Oh no, I am so sorry for your loss and your sister's. How incredibly sad she must be. I'll say a prayer for you both.

Dangles
02-18-2008, 02:53 PM
How awful! :cry: I am sorry for your family's loss. Sending thought's and :pray: your family, and her husband's family.

texas1107
02-18-2008, 03:07 PM
I'm so sorry for your sisters loss. That is a terrible thing, losing a child, born or not. I pray she will have the chance again!!

mks22300
02-19-2008, 12:31 AM
:hug: :hug:

yarnrainbow
02-19-2008, 02:43 AM
I'm so sorry for your family.:hug: Y'all are in my prayers.

Ronda
02-19-2008, 08:31 AM
:hug: That is so sad for her, but she is lucky to have you as a sister. I'm so very sorry to hear about this.

Silver
02-19-2008, 09:31 AM
I am so, so sorry. :hug:

Nikkilc
02-19-2008, 10:30 AM
I am so sorry for your loss :grphug:
i have 3 angels watching over me, i miss them very much.
As to what to say to your dear sister, i would answer nothing just hold her and let her know she is loved.
Maybe when she is ready plant a tree or rose bush as a place to go remember .
sorry not very good at putting things into words

stacyk9
02-19-2008, 11:06 AM
I am so, so sorry to hear such a tragic story. Although both of my beautiful girls were born alive, our first passed away within an hour and our second daughter lived on life support for 6 1/2 weeks until we had to make the hard decision to remove her. Losing a child is the worst feeling in the world, especially for someone like your sister who is fighting a syndrome that makes it even harder to become pregnant. I also have PCOS, but fortunately for me, being infertile is a good thing since I have been advised to not have any more children. Our story has a happy ending as we have adopted a beautiful baby boy who is now a rambunctious toddler!!

My advice, and take it for what it's worth, is to just be there for your sister. The times when people came by to just listen to me or let me cry on their shoulder was what meant the most. Some people mean very well when they try to comfort you, but wind up saying very hurtful things and this will inevitably happen to your sister, so just be a good listenener and a shoulder to cry on and that's the best gift you can give her right now.

It's also help my DH and I to remember our girls by doing something in their memory, such as donating gifts to St. Jude's every Christmas. I encourage your sister, when the time is right, to do something in remembrance of her baby. It has really been a healing force for us.

auburnchick
02-19-2008, 11:11 AM
:hug:

I will pray for you.

msmelody
02-19-2008, 01:35 PM
My Alex would be 8 this year. Tell your sister that you mourn with her, but let her do most of the talking. Losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to anyone in my opinion. I will be praying for your sister and your family.

Sunshine's Mom
02-19-2008, 04:32 PM
How awful. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Brvfan
02-19-2008, 04:59 PM
I am so sorry for your family's loss. I know you will be a big help to your sister.

angel4ever
02-19-2008, 05:35 PM
I will keep you, your sister, and your family in my prayers. :hug: :hug: :hug:

jennylozano
02-20-2008, 02:54 AM
Thank you alll so very much for your words and prayers, and for sharing similar stories. I will travel tomorrow to see my sister. My mom told me today that she is not doing any better. She just looks down and starts crying at any moment when she remembers. I told my mom to let her cry... I believe one must cry to take all that pain out of one's chest. It is part of the process she is going through. The pain will always be in her heart, but one day she will stop crying and that day she will be able to continue. I am glad I will have the chance to hold her in my arms and let her cry and even cry with her.
Thanks again, dear friends.

KnitWit1987
02-20-2008, 04:25 AM
Be safe in you travels I will continue to pray for you and your family :hug:

willowangel
02-20-2008, 07:12 AM
I understand that she keeps crying - it takes a while to stop reliving it every time you remember, which is a horrific experience. Your body goes through everything again. It will take a long time for her to be ok again, but she's really lucky to have such a caring sister and family. I was greatly helped by friends who immediately got on trains and buses to come and just be with me while I cried, holding my hand and not trying to take the pain away. Good luck, I hope your journey is an easy one *hugs*

DQ
02-20-2008, 08:04 AM
I'm so sorry for your families loss :hug: