View Full Version : Mates and Knitting Time
06-21-2008, 07:53 AM
I was on Ravelry and KH last night, reading, scrolling around and DH asked me what I was doing. So, I explained how both sites helped me find patterns, had info, how Ravelry had different groups for everyone's interest and etc.... So, he says, " I'm gonna start a group called, Neglected Husbands Who's Wives Knit All The Time" and it was just hilarious. We got into a conversation about how much time we both spend doing different things that don't include each other. I know he doesn't mind me knitting alot but there are times, I'm sure, that he'd like for me to put it down and talk to him. So, I'm wondering if anyone else's mate has these issues.
06-21-2008, 09:01 AM
Oh yeah! The DBF is a huge baseball fan. He plays baseball with a team about twice a week, plus weekend tournaments, plus practice a couple nights a week too (plus watching it on tv). Despite my feeling neglected, I am okay with it. BUT when he is at home with me and we are watching tv together (real quality time! HA!) and I am knitting, he tells me to stop knitting so we can spend time together....Aren't we spending time together while I knit? Apparently not.
Hey, maybe your DH and my DBF can hang out together while we knit???
06-21-2008, 09:38 AM
I think it is vital for each mate to have activities that the other one doesn't share.
And I think it's vital for each mate to spend time together, making each other feel loved and happy, too.
When you have your own space, you can bring much more to the table when you are together than if you do everything the other one does. Not many relationships can survive working together all day long, then spending the home-time together, too.
And knitting something for your Significant Other is a deep expression of love, isn't it? For me it is.
06-21-2008, 09:54 AM
My dh is okay with it. We have a frequent, but not regular, date night, doing something like going for wings late at night. I started taking my knitting, because you just sit there doing nothing whie you wait, you know. I did ask him if it bugged him or if he'd rather have my full attention. He said as long as I'm speaking coherently he's fine with it. :)
06-21-2008, 11:28 AM
My husband got really upset with my spending more time on my crafts instead of with him. We compromised because in the past I neglected my crafts to spend time with him. I would have me alone time and when I could I would work on my knitting, crochet or embroidery with him while he watched sports. Before he passed away this past October, I got him interested in my crafts and we were going to make quilts for our sons together. Try and get them involved however small it might be!!!cloud9
06-21-2008, 12:38 PM
I suppose it also depends on how much you have in common anyway. My husband and I enjoy different activities so we don't do much together. After 37 years of marriage we have found that it does give us more to talk about at dinner and when we do spend time together. I have friends that love outdoor activities as do I and I love to garden, knit, read etc when around the house. I can carry on a coherent conversation while knitting and if I get to a tricky spot I can put it down and concentrate on what he's saying.
We just built him a new shop so his spare time has been getting the interior set up for all his stuff and when he's not at work or in his office working, he's out in his shop and if I want to talk to him he's got a chair out there for me to sit in while he works.
06-21-2008, 12:39 PM
We do work together all day and I have about 4 hours after work when I can knit by myself. So, I've taken to putting it down when he comes home so he won't feel left out...:roll: I don't think he'll ever get involved...thinks it's a "woman thing" but does ooo and ahhh about the pretty doilies and thought it was way cool that I learned to knit socks. I might try knitting something for him but I don't think he'll wear it. I agree that couples should have separate interests.
06-21-2008, 03:59 PM
I just posted something related to this on a Ravelry thread!
My DH’s hobby has made him extraordinarily understanding of my knitting obsession. He’s a bass fisherman; has been for literally his whole life, and he collects fishing rods and lures like crazy – including some swim baits that cost $100 apiece. I’ve never complained about his spending, and he returns the favor for me. We often discuss various colors as well as storage systems (our house is pretty small).
I definitely agree that it's good for each of us to have our separate interests and to allow each other time to indulge those interests -- without feeling guilty. It makes the time you do spend doing things together that much better. I actively listen when he talks about fishing, and he tries to do the same for me (as long as I don't ramble on too much :teehee:).
My DH really doesn't mind me knitting while we're together; he knows I can still pay attention to him, and he frequently ask me questions about my project or my yarn.
He also likes to paint or otherwise modify some of his lures to make them look more realistic (he’s even borrowed my nail polish a few times to use as paint). So there’s plenty of times when we’ll be watching TV together and I’m knitting on the sofa while he’s hunched over his little table, hard at work. It’s kinda nice!
06-21-2008, 04:41 PM
Mine fishes, too! Has tons of rods, lures, tackle thingys, reels that he'll never be able to use at one time so I don't have to answer any questions about my stash! I do love that! He also takes off in January for about 2-3 weeks to Costa Rica where he works on boats/motors and gets to deep sea fish to his heart's desire. I am like knitting my fanny off the whole time!
06-24-2008, 01:06 AM
I have this problem, too. DBF likes to complain that I don't pay any attention to him when I'm knitting, but thinks that if I'm watching tv without knitting, I'm suddenly paying attention to him. :shrug:
I feel so much more productive if I knit and watch tv simultaneously. He likes to watch stock market shows :roll: :yadda: which I tolerate remarkably well.
It's definitely important to have separate interests... It would be so boring to do EVERYTHING together.
oh i think im so lucky, my dp has asked if i'll teach him so we can do it together. i know he dosent really want to learn that much just wants to spend time together, and he knew before we got together that my time in the evening is spent knitting, other than pre arranged outtings :laugh:
06-24-2008, 12:36 PM
I like to watch TV or a movie while knitting, and don't like to do either unless I am knitting; so I asked my DH if it bothered him. He looked at me with his large, brown, bedroom eyes and said, "I love looking over at you and seeing you doing something you really enjoy. If I want to read, I'll go into the bedroom." What a sweet man he is!
He has a very expensive hobby when he can do it, Civil War Re-enacting, so he doesn't ever say anything about my yarn purchases.
06-24-2008, 12:50 PM
OMGOSH! MUSH! :teehee: LOLOL!! I do envy y'all with all these sugar-sweet husbands. I think since I've married for 125 years, mine just doesn't really care but he does get those puppydog eyes and that "tone" sometimes. :roll:
06-24-2008, 01:08 PM
My husband builds and flys (and crashes) remote control airplanes...I also learned to fly as a way so spending time with him. Sometimes I go, sometimes I don't. He like to work on planes in the evening and that gives me time to knit...also he doesn't mind if I knit while we are watching tv... He once commented on how much yarn I have stocked up and I referred him to his unbuilt airplane stash. I was ripping out a project I just didn't like and he asked me why I was doing that after spending all that time on it and I just told him to think of it as if I had "crashed" the project. He has a new understanding of how I look at my knitting, through his flying eyes.
06-24-2008, 03:43 PM
I guess it is unanimous to some degree: husbands don't like to be ignored for long. Now, mine (45 years this Dec. 7) can sit and watch sports until the cows come home. I am not a big sports fan at all, tolerate watching a little white ball being hit all over the golf course, etc., but not into all the other sports he loves. I give him plenty of space, but since I have resumed knitting just last September he will come into 'my' corner in the kitchen where there is excellent light and stand there like a little boy waiting for me to pay him attention. Our poodle, Pequina, does the same thing but she wags her tail. I honestly believe it is very important to have similar interests but also ones you truly love. We are not joined at the hip. So, I lay the knitting down and look at him and he just says something like, "just wondered what you were doing." :knitting: I mean he is retired and we are together, for the most part, 24/7. I have knitting needles in my hand, yarn all over the area. :doh: I swear the longer I am married the more I think I have a five-year old kid, but I love him.
06-24-2008, 10:07 PM
I give him plenty of space, but since I have resumed knitting just last September he will come into 'my' corner in the kitchen where there is excellent light and stand there like a little boy waiting for me to pay him attention... So, I lay the knitting down and look at him and he just says something like, "just wondered what you were doing." :knitting: I swear the longer I am married the more I think I have a five-year old kid, but I love him.
Ok, that is too cute! :heart:
My husband and I are often doing different things in the same room. He plays guitar, I knit. Neither one of us minds :)
06-25-2008, 02:57 PM
My husband has made comments along those lines. He won't admit that he has any issues, but I'm sure he does. But he has his phone in his face playing solitaire all the time.. I don't see a difference.
06-26-2008, 07:33 AM
My DH has a hobby of his own - he collects, renovates and assembles diecast and plastic 1:24 car models. So he understands my hobby and obsession. He goes to yarn shops with me and helps to pick yarns and i go to modelling shops and help him not to buy the whole place:teehee: . We also like to ask each other's opinion on the hobbies - i like to show him the pattern and the yarn, he always has insightful suggestions and he likes to show me his work too. We don't have a TV ( a principle thing), so we like to watch DVD on the PC and he doesn't mind my knitting. We also like just to be in the same room and each would fiddle with his/hers hobby. His presence and encouragement mean a lot to me. You should see people's reaction when we talk about each other's hobbies. My MIL always said to DH that when he'll get married, he won't need the "childish hobby" and when she saw that i'm as enthusiastic as he is, she stopped seeing it as "childish". We also have common interests - our pets, books and cars.