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View Full Version : Grieving-Kinda Long


jdee
08-27-2008, 04:42 AM
I just lost one of my cats tonight. Molly was born to one of my feral cats, and she and her sister, Tabby, were at one were wild, until they came to trust us. They would never be happy as indoor only cats, but they did eventually become indoor/outdoor cats.
One week, we didn't see molly for several days. I worried about her, and prayed that she'd return home. When she finally did, she was skin and bones, and would no longer let me pet her. I left plenty of food and water where I knew she could find it, and I talked to her every time I saw her. One morning, she was at the screen door, wanting in. She was skin and bone, but she seemed alert. The vet ruled out feline leukemia, and FIV. Her bloodwork and urine test was fine.
We brought her home, thinking that all she needed was some nurishment, and TLC, and we planned to nurse her back to health. I started feeding her kitten food, for the extra calories and nutrients, and adding a suppliment to her wet food. She didn't eat much, but she was eating. She had started to perk up a bit, and wanted outside, so we let her on the screened porch. I was very encouraged. I knew she was still skinny, and not out of the woods yet, but she seemed to be responding. Today, she didn't seem as perky, but she still was eating, but then tonight, she took a bad turn. I got up around 2:30am to go to the bathroom, and found that she had passed away.

Now, I can't stop grieving. I knew she was in bad shape, and the odds were against her, but I had really hoped she'd make it. I keep thinking back on what I could have done differently to give her a better chance. I loved her so much, and I'm going to miss her. I just hope she knew. To make things worse, I'm really missing my Mom tonight. I lost her back in 2004, but I feel as if it were yesterday. I really don't know why this has hit me so hard, and I don't know why I'm writing about it here. I just am a mess tonight. Please keep us in your prayers. This has been a terrible blow.

susi
08-27-2008, 05:21 AM
I am so sorry for your loss. dont look back at what you could have done differently, you did everything that you could do. You gave her love food care and attention what else could you do for her.
i know when i lost my dog 5 years ago it took me a while to greieve for our loss.

Never stop loving never forget but in time you will feel at peace with her at a better place now.

sending you a big :hug:

sue in canada
08-27-2008, 08:03 AM
Sending you :hug: :hug: :hug:
Losing a pet is devastating but don't be hard on yourself. You did everything possible for her and she obviously knew where to go for love and comfort.

stitchwitch
08-27-2008, 08:45 AM
:hug:

dustinac
08-27-2008, 08:49 AM
:hug: I'm sorry for your loss...she knew that you were taking care of her and doing your best.

It's ok that your thinking about your mom today...it may have to do with losing Molly and knowing you would have called her for comfort. I lost my grandmother in '02 who was just the world to everyone that knew her and still have days like that...it's ok to grieve and you shouldn't feel bad/guilty for that...sometimes we just need a good cry :hug: :heart: :hug:

saracidaltendencies
08-27-2008, 08:52 AM
:hug: I'm so sorry for your loss :hug:

gingerbread
08-27-2008, 09:11 AM
I feel your pain of losing a pet. Big Big :hug: to you.
We lost our dog nine years ago it was awful to us. He was in a fight that he could not win. We had a lease law and Ottis was always hooked up. To make a long story short our Vet gave us a book on grieving for a Pet. It was wonderful to read it really did help us through a hard time in our lives. My two grown children still remember Ottis with love. My son still has his collar and tags. So I will send you love and hugs to you and yours. :hug:



:waving:

Sunshine's Mom
08-27-2008, 09:16 AM
:hug: :heart: I'm so sorry for your loss. However, you should know that Molly loved you because she was attuned to the fact that she didn't have long and needed help and she came to you for comfort and love in her final days. She loved you. I have no doubt about that.

PurlyGyrl
08-27-2008, 09:30 AM
:hug:

scout52
08-27-2008, 01:23 PM
:hug: :hug: :heart: :heart:

Wanda Witch
08-27-2008, 01:34 PM
Oh, I understand all too well your grief. I've lost a few beloved dogs in my life and like you I always questioned myself that somehow I might have been able to do more when their time neared and even though each received the best medical care available but, JDee, we are not always able to keep them as long as we would like. Sending you many hugs and understanding. :hug: :hug:

Jan in CA
08-27-2008, 01:34 PM
I'm so sorry. :hug::hug::hug::hug:

Abbily
08-27-2008, 02:03 PM
Oh, jdee, I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you did everything you could do, and you certainly made a happy life for her. I'm sure she felt all the comfort and safety and love that you provided.

I'm sorry about your mom, too. It's strange how those losses can come back when we think we have moved on a bit. I lost my grandma last summer and I have similar times when it just really hits me hard.

jdee
08-27-2008, 02:45 PM
I really appreciate all your support and cyberhugs. It really helps to know people care. For a little feral cat, she sure left a big hole in my heart. I feel a little better today, after getting some sleep, although it still feels wierd not to see her around here. I guess that will lessen with time.
You're all so wonderful to let me whine like this. Thanks a bunch.

stitchwitch
08-27-2008, 03:33 PM
You're all so wonderful to let me whine like this. Thanks a bunch.
More like we all cry with you. Everytime one of us posts something about our lives, no matter what it is, each of us can relate even if only in some small way.
Hope today is a better day for you. :hug:

auburnchick
08-27-2008, 04:19 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss. Animals have a way of working themselves in our hearts.

Hugs to you, my friend.

sabrinasmom
08-27-2008, 06:49 PM
:hug: :hug: Animals are just angels with fur.

mks22300
08-27-2008, 07:05 PM
:hug: I'm so sorry about your kitty :hug:

Spikey
08-27-2008, 08:57 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. We just adopted a feral cat (in fact DH is playing with him on the kitchen floor as I type). Although we have only had him a short time, we would be devastated to lose him. I feel your pain. :hug:

jdee
08-27-2008, 09:38 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. We just adopted a feral cat (in fact DH is playing with him on the kitchen floor as I type). Although we have only had him a short time, we would be devastated to lose him. I feel your pain. :hug:
Feral cats are great, aren't they. They require more patience, and work, but they are so worth it. We started spay/neutering these cats about four years ago. That particular year, there must have been some kind of illness going around, because we ended up burying about 11 kittens. I nearly had a breakdown, and we decided to find a place to have the cats fixed. Our town really doesn't offer much help, and the overall attitude about animals is pretty archaic. Yes, we have some responsible owners, but many animals are not so fortunate. I found a place about 45 minutes away, where we could have our feral cats fixed, and that's where we took them. It took a long time, but we finally managed to get them all done. Some of them have become indoor-outdoor cats, some don't want to come inside, but they let us pet them. Some will probably never let us pet them, but that's fine. At least I know they're safe, fed, and no longer reproducing. Molly and her sister were the last two kittens born out there.
Anyway, I know I'm just rambling. I just love my cats so much. I haven't lost one in quite a long time.

InterNette
08-27-2008, 09:50 PM
I am sorry about your kittys passing. I do think she knew you would love her till the end and were what she needed so she came home to die with you.

vaknitter
08-27-2008, 10:07 PM
So sorry you lost your darling kitty. Don't beat yourself up about what you could have done, it was her time. It's impressive that she came home to you to die as many times an animals instinct is to go away and hide when they are dying.
You're wonderful for caring about her so much

Doodknitwit
08-27-2008, 10:56 PM
:hug: :hug: :hug: :verysad:

Dangles
08-28-2008, 01:00 AM
:hug: :heart:

Hygiene Mama
08-28-2008, 06:47 AM
I'm sorry. :muah: