View Full Version : Lonliness, Boredom, and Isolation
05-27-2009, 12:41 PM
Any ideas for what to do? I'm housebound a lot, without transportation, having arranged a home-based business for myself so that I didn't have to struggle to make a living (HAH!) And my children are grown, my husband still works manager hours (WAY more than full time). So I'm alone, a lot.
Now, I do like spending a lot of time alone, but I don't like spending every waking moment alone. So, I'd like to make some friends and spend some quality time with people I love, but it's difficult. I have transportation limitations, financial limitations, etc. I'm just looking for ideas, not whining and complaining. It is what it is.
Thanks, in advance, for your ideas and suggestions.
05-27-2009, 01:11 PM
Is there a knitting group nearby you can join, hopefully near some kind of public transportation? Check to see if there's a thread for your location in the Knitters Knear You section on this board. Check your public library too, they might have knitting or other interest groups that meet there. If you have a church home, they might have activities you could join in, too.
05-27-2009, 02:37 PM
What about volunteering? You could volunteer at schools, at a food pantry, at a nursing home, etc.
05-27-2009, 08:01 PM
Volunteer at the library, either to help out or to teach a knitting course. Or a hospital?
What is near you?
05-27-2009, 09:49 PM
What I've done is found a few friends that I chat with a bunch online. Since I'm home a lot, it's convenient and fun and gives me an outlet. I talk to Rabbitrescuer (our Rabbit) almost every day on the phone...a routine we started when her son was burned last summer. I have a ton of cell phone minutes, so it works. We also talk on Skype, which is free through my ISP.
Maybe you could start some kind of volunteer project where people met at YOUR house. Or maybe if you offered knitting lessons (or something else...your homeopathic classes) at your home. You could teach children to knit...have a group once a week.
Hugs to you...working from home w/o transportation is very limiting as far as interaction with others.
05-27-2009, 11:41 PM
I used to chat online a lot when I was working as an usher. I never got to see my friends cause I was going to work when they were just coming home. So I would stay up and find ppl to chat with...
I also like the volunteer ideas. I am a girl guide leader...which keeps me involved, but not overly busy...which is nice...
05-28-2009, 08:40 AM
If I had a bunch of alone time, I would probably end up volunteering too. I've always wanted to work with animals, maybe a rescue shelter? You could also foster cats/dogs so you have a buddy at home with you without the long-term commitment.
Jan in CA
05-28-2009, 12:21 PM
Volunteer in a library, local elementary school, women's shelter, etc.
Find a knitting group that meets nearby or start one.
If you can combine your love and knowledge of knitting with something like volunteering all the better. :thumbsup:
05-28-2009, 03:28 PM
Have you considered a web camera so that you can have face to face chats with people while still at home. Just like a phone call only with faces.
05-28-2009, 04:34 PM
Thank you. These are great ideas. I have tried to volunteer at the closest church to me (within walking distance) but they didn't want me. Story of my life! LOL!
I have a local library, around 3 miles away. That would be quite a walk, but I think I could make it. Maybe I'll try that next.
05-28-2009, 09:43 PM
what about dog walking with the local spca? its fun, exercise and social!
05-29-2009, 12:14 AM
I too am home alone a lot while looking for a job/boyfriend works long hours. And, I can't believe the church said they didn't need any volunteers for anything!
When I head out I ride my bike everywhere! I use a backpack to put my things and and I go to the library, local stores, you name it I go there. It really makes the miles go by much faster. If you can ride you should really consider getting one. The great thing about them is you can get one pretty cheap from a yard sale or CraigsList and and if they need work it's relatively inexpensive to have them repaired. And the best thing is the free exercise!
05-29-2009, 07:49 AM
Start a knitting group in your home, offer to teach people to knit. Who knows you might be able to start a business!!
I have made some great online friends through forums. Take an "online" class.
Start a journal and write. If you can't get out to volunteer get involved in Charity knitting projects (maybe you already do) I knit helmet liners and have done the odd ball blankets.
Learn a new craft or hobby.
Get a dog, mine are my best friends!
05-29-2009, 06:35 PM
When my hubby took early retirement, 13 years ago, and we moved out to a lonely country road, I felt much the same: lonely, isolated, and depression set in quickly.
It took years to meet some women my own age.
I realize now that I was waiting for someone or something to appear on my doorstep, without really trying.
I agree that if you cannot go out and meet the world, invite people to come to you. You can place an ad in a local paper for a meet at your house.....do some knitting, or cooking, anything really. A group of women now meet here to try out new crafts, each takes turns to organize and lead a craft. Last week we made hypertufa pots.....never even knew I might want to do this, but it was fun.
I think a lot of stay-at-home women are terribly lonely, and think they are alone, the only ones who feel like this. Then, when one brave soul takes a chance and invites others.....you may be surprised at the responses you get.
Online friends are nice too. I belong to a gardening forum and two soapmaking forums as well as this one. It helps to pass the time.
One thing you need to remember though: the more you share of yourself, the more other people will open up to you.
05-30-2009, 02:01 PM
I'm sorry that you're feeling so isolated and lonely. Although the suggestions to get out and volunteer are great, you wouldn't have this problem if you were able to get out of the house easily.
The whole concept of being truly housebound is difficult for those who've never experienced it. I lost my independence for several years while unable to drive due to a medical issue. Although I don't really have memories of that time, I know that I basically spent time on hobbies and the computer.
Sounds like you'd like to do more with your time, which is admirable. Maybe contact organizations that you'd like to volunteer for, see if someone can pick you up or if they can drop off things that you can do for them from home (like counting rcpts, organizing flyers, etc). What about a nearby school, even though your children are grown? I'm sure they could find ways to keep you busy and feeling useful.
05-30-2009, 07:14 PM
do you have a bicycle? 3 miles is not far on a bike--depending on road and traffic conditions, and weather ,of course. the teaching knitting at home might work too-- i am able to volunteer one day a week with a Threads of Love group that makes items for preemies at local hospitals-- knitted hats, booties, and blankets as well as sewn items. much yarn is donated, and through contributions of money from individuals and organizations,the group is also able to purchase yarn and other materials. it's a great way to spend a day, and though it is work it is a lot of fun, does good things, and provides fellowship too. linknit41
05-30-2009, 10:43 PM
I'm terribly sorry that you are feeling isolated! I like the volunteering idea, too, Monica. You could do some knitting from home and deliver when you do have a car. Hospitals, nursing homes and hospices are usually looking for volunteers. My local library has story time for the kids and your might be looking for someone to help out with that. The bike thing is a great idea if you have one and are in shape to ride.
I wish I lived near. I'd love a knitting, tea drinking buddy to hang with. :hug: :hug: :hug:
05-31-2009, 07:58 PM
I wish I lived near. I'd love a knitting, tea drinking buddy to hang with. :hug: :hug: :hug: Bambi
aawwwwwwwwww, Bambi! So would I, sweetie! :heart: