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View Full Version : When to give care shawl ?


vaknitter
10-26-2009, 10:39 AM
So it started out that I was making a dear set of "grandparent" type friends knitted items for Christmas gifts. For her I made a shoulder shawl and for him I was making a lapghan. He took suddenly ill and I drove home last weekend (9hrs) to sit with them and he died. I do not have it in me to finish his lapghan. I am trying to decide if I should mail the shawl to her now as a care shawl and thought you could use a big hug? Give it to her while home for the funeral in a month? Or leave it at home for Christmas as planned ? I sort of want her to have it now, and I am not really comfortable giving gifts I have made in person.

margz3
10-26-2009, 10:44 AM
I think it would be a very nice gesture to give it to her now. She will definitely know you are thinking of her, and may have some comfort knowing she is wrapped in a hug by you!

Jan in CA
10-26-2009, 01:25 PM
Didn't you ask this before? I swear I answered there..:?? I'm probably losing it... :teehee: Anyhoo..I think it would be a nice gesture to give it to her. And personally I think if she knows it was meant for her dear husband that may very comforting to her. :shrug:

Debkcs
10-26-2009, 01:34 PM
I think Jan is spot on, a gift given personally will reflect the love you have for she and her husband.

vaknitter
10-26-2009, 02:03 PM
Jan - I think you are remembering a post I made about whether or not to finish the lapghan I had started for him. At that time he was in the ICU and they were talking about bringing him home on hospice. I think I posted that question on Wed and he died Sun morning. I'm such a sap I cannot finish the lapghan. Her shawl was already finished so now I just have to decide when is it appropriate to give it to her.

cftwo
10-27-2009, 08:31 AM
I think anytime would be appropriate to give to her. I see advantages of sending it to her now (it would bring her comfort) and giving it to her at Christmas (when a lot of people might forget that she's still mourning). At the funeral is probably not the right time - most people are busy just trying to handle the details of the funeral and getting through it and then doing all the thank you notes and everything they feel they should do. My 2 cents.

HollyP
10-27-2009, 01:47 PM
:hug: So sorry for your loss. I think I would give it to her at Christmas. Holidays are a hard time for people who have just lost a loved one.

MoniDew
11-05-2009, 01:49 AM
I think I agree with Holly P on this one. Too close to the event, and the gift will be associated with the loss. Better to wait a bit, and give it in a way that has no associations with something negative. Even if that means it waits.