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View Full Version : My husband has convinced me to do the unthinkable....


misstialouise
01-10-2006, 09:44 PM
Not buy any more yarn until I've used up some of my stash...

Before you fall of your chair... let me tell you why..

Early last year, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I came of AD's after only a few months so that we could TTC, so I've been using 'tools' that my psychologist gave me to deal with the symptoms, as I'm still 'working out' the problems (some of which will never go away).

One of the symptoms of my condition is that I tend to start a lot of things, all at once but they tend to drop off when I get 'bored' with them, or distracted by something shiny (I can't tell you how many half made sets of stitch markers I have). And I've noticed that I'm doing the same thing with my knitting.

So, I am frogging my MP3 sling, and my HP scarf, as they're the two projects that have the least rate of being successful at this stage (the HP scarf has heaps of slipped stitches), I'm going to finish my Scrunchable Set and DH's Ribbed set, then select ONE project at a time to use up some of the yarn I have.

The next big one will be the skirt KAL that I've 'started' in the KAL area, for which I have some great cotton/silk/rayon blend in an olive colour.

So no more yarn purchases for me for a while. (If someone SENDS me yarn though.. that's a different story.. ;)) :rofling:

KellyK
01-10-2006, 09:54 PM
One of the symptoms of my condition is that I tend to start a lot of things, all at once but they tend to drop off when I get 'bored' with them, or distracted by something shiny (I can't tell you how many half made sets of stitch markers I have). And I've noticed that I'm doing the same thing with my knitting.

Now, see.... I do the opposite! I get unmotivated about everything ELSE and OBSESS about one thing (right now, knitting)! I did the same thing when I was under treatment a few years back (when we were TTC, coincidentally) I became addicted to a TTC message board. Isnt it supposed to HELP that we can RECOGNIZE our signs?? :lol:

HUGS, Tia! :heart:

mintdee
01-10-2006, 09:57 PM
Hugs Tia!

good luck with your one project at a time attempt! I think that it is a wonderful idea, My knitters ADD is not allowing me to join you in this though :rollseyes:

Good luck to you my friend!

Ingrid
01-10-2006, 10:04 PM
I have fewer things on the needles now than I think I've ever had. I have one sweater to be seamed, a sweater near completion, and the sleeves started on a cabled aran sweater. I don't feel as 'torn' or pressured to hurry as much as I did when there were so many things waiting. So maybe this will be a very good thing for you to ease anxiety. I know that, at least for the moment, I feel more relaxed about everything, even though I have gorgeous yarns waiting for me. I also don't feel so compelled to buy new yarn all the time. That, too, shall pass, though, I imagine. :rofling:

Hildegard_von_Knittin
01-10-2006, 10:05 PM
<<<<<<<sending focusing vibes>>>>>

meg
01-10-2006, 11:47 PM
i completely understand you. i have anxiety issues and they cause periodic depressions. i start things and get bored with them and put them aside to never be finished.

i offer you :hugs: on the challenge ahead AND major kudos for recognizing it! good luck! :)

kitkat
01-10-2006, 11:52 PM
Oh you all are my soul sisters! There must be something about knitting that appeals to those of us who have some anxiety and occasional moments of OCD! (I love that tv show MONK by the way - I can relate to alot! - unfortunately with two teenage boys, a black lab and a black kitty, I can't be too nutso about where I live).

misstialouise
01-11-2006, 12:17 AM
I went down to my LYS at lunch, with the intention of asking my friend there to not allow me to buy anything until after I'd completed the skirt KAL, unfortunately, I realised I probably don't have enough of the yarn to complete a whole skirt, so will probably need to add a colour or two to it unless I can find that yarn elsewhere...

So I told her I wouldn't be at SnB this week as I was travelling to Adelaide tomorrow night, then as I was about to leave, she called me over to help with a colour consult for a customer, who happens to love 1940's stuff (it was a vintage sweater she was knitting), so got to tell her about Swing Dance lessons too...

Hehe... so while I am not yet banned from buying yarn at my LYS for a period of time, I may have opened the door to a great time of dancing :D

humblestumble
01-11-2006, 01:19 AM
hugs to you! But I have to ask, what is TTC? I know what ADD is too, but you said AD, so I'm a little confuzzled. :??

Knit your stash up, I say! ...(40's gansta talk) Me-ah, see. Me-ah.

And I salute the swing dance! I still have yet to get my dancing's worth from my Christmas gift certificate for the new Dance place that my friend opened :)

misstialouise
01-11-2006, 01:27 AM
hugs to you! But I have to ask, what is TTC? I know what ADD is too, but you said AD, so I'm a little confuzzled. :??

Knit your stash up, I say! ...(40's gansta talk) Me-ah, see. Me-ah.

And I salute the swing dance! I still have yet to get my dancing's worth from my Christmas gift certificate for the new Dance place that my friend opened :)

TTC is Trying to Conceive
AD is Anti Depressants...

humblestumble
01-11-2006, 01:31 AM
oh, ok. That makes things clearer now. Thanks.

I do have to chime tho, I hear that anti depressants can make things worse by not actually dealing with problems, and that (now I know you're not one, but) Teen suicide has been proven to go up with the anti depressants that are being prescribed. I had a friend on them, and she seemed fake all the time, and still seemed sad.

So all that being said, I hope that you have a good psychologist and that you are working things out :) :hugs:

misstialouise
01-11-2006, 01:47 AM
I do have to chime tho, I hear that anti depressants can make things worse by not actually dealing with problems, and that (now I know you're not one, but) Teen suicide has been proven to go up with the anti depressants that are being prescribed. I had a friend on them, and she seemed fake all the time, and still seemed sad.

Depression is not about being 'sad' as such. I was never "sad", but constantly overwhelmed, lost, unable to focus, fidgety, and had waves of utter hopelessness. Most of the time, though, I was happy... It's really hard to describe, but there's so much more to it. I honestly beleive so many people are misdiagnosed with depression, as it's just easy to give people pills to 'fix' the problem. Pills don't fix the problem, Psych's don't fix the problem.. all they can do is help you FIND the problems and help you deal with them.

Actually, all anti-depressants are supposed to do is level out your homones and brain chemistry so that you can think clearly, put things in perspective. On their own, they're not a solution. They should be used in conjunction with professional psychological help. They really helped me be able to *see* things that I was putting out of proportion. Also helped me recognise the signs of my anxiety and depression, so that now I can work through them, and use my 'tools' to help curtail the symptoms getting too bad.

I got through a lot of my issues with my psych. I'm not seeing her regularly at the moment, but she's always there if I need to go back.

KellyK
01-11-2006, 02:00 AM
Additionally, Angela....the effect of any new ADs need to be closely monitored by a psychiatrist. In younger people, suicidal thoughts can be a more prevalent side effect of an anti-depressant. They also take time to regulate themselves in one's body. Its certainly nothing to prescribe or take on a whim, but they can take the edge off so that one can function.

humblestumble
01-11-2006, 04:09 AM
That's a good thing to hear :) I just get so upset when I hear about people who just get the pills and that's it, especially with younger people. They used to do that with my brother, and he REALLY needed the talking-it-out part. I honestly think that kids these days need more therapy with the way the newer generations are raising their kids (at least in America...I don't know about the rest of the world, but there are a lot of disrespectful kids these days and a LOT of kids with emotional problems dealing with the home)

I was actually looking Anxiety disorders up the other day because I was seriously thinking that I had some sort of anxiety problem. This past year I started all this crafty stuff and haven't finished a lot of it, but I think that's due to losing 3 family members and a close friend. But also, I get worried over trivial things and just get really really upset with life being so mundane sometimes, and wonder what the point is. This is NOT saying that I'm suicidal by any means, but that I get REALLY moody and stressed out a LOT for seemingly no reason. My body is so tense (muscle wise), it's not funny. But then I started to think that I was just worrying about worrying too much.

My friend who took anti depressants would give them to another friend of mine just because she was having a bad day and wanted to feel numb. I thought that was such a ridiculous idea, but hey, that's kids for ya. And the friend who took them all the time just seemed so....like she had this plastered look of happiness on her face and I could just tell that she was so upset, and that it was fake. It was so weird to see. I never knew how to talk to her really.

Thanks for educating me further guys :cheering: I don't get too strong emotionally on issues like this (that I dont know much about) because I don't want to seem like a putz for not knowing that much about them.

misstialouise
01-11-2006, 04:51 AM
My friend who took anti depressants would give them to another friend of mine just because she was having a bad day and wanted to feel numb.

That wouldn't acutally work, it takes about 2 weeks for your body to regulate on AD's.. AD's don't make you numb, they make you clear.

Lady M
01-11-2006, 08:10 AM
I have bene the worlds worst at starting projects and just dropping them in midstream and starting something new. I have spent thousands of dollars over my life time "Trying something New " to occupy my mind and now that I am older I decided to fix the situation.

Perhaps these will help you too

Look around at your crafts and decide which ones bring you JOY when you think about working with them............... I had a lot of projects that were half way done that I knew that I would NEVER complete, so I decided to do these steps

First off........... You have to bite the bullet........ Get rid of what you immediatly know you no longer enjoy doing. Either trash it or give it to a friend who you know will appreciate it and love it or donate it to a shelter for someone who could use any project to get there minds off there situation.

Second and most important. FORGIVE YOUR SELF......... You have already spent the money and it is gone........ forgive yourself for
buying it and send it on its merry way to be loved by someone else who will hold it and work with it ..........

These two steps will allow peace to enter into your life immediatly and you will feel great that you gave something to someone else who needs it . The Act of giving just does something to you that I can't explan.

Your home will not only loose the clutter , but you will gain the space for something that you truly love and adore.

I have also found that I can only really work on no more than 2 or 3 projects at a time. Limit yourself to no more than 3 at a time. I say this because when you have a bad knitting day ,you will have something else to fall back on and it keeps bordom from sitting in.

These are the steps that I have used in my own life, with my crafts, my weight and my life in general. You deserve peace in your life without all of the chaos of cluttery crafts laying around unfinished and piling tons of guilt upon you everytime you look at them or even think about them.

Forgive yourself and Clear the Clutter, then sit back with a project that you really love and adore, and ENJOY your time with it. Knitting and other crafts are sopposed to be "Made With Love " and care......... If you cant put that into your projects..........then let them go and find one that you will adore..........

Also ask yourself before you buy things. Will I love you? Do I Need You? and most important ......... Are You WOrth Finishing. If you answer NO to any of these questions.......then Don't buy it.........its not worth the guilt and chaos it will bring when you just lay it aside and let it all pile up.

Your Wallett and Your Sanity will be so much better off for it !!!

Hugs
Anne :thumbsup:

humblestumble
01-11-2006, 04:23 PM
That's why I believe that she was misdiagnosed because she had more family problems than anything else.

misstialouise
01-14-2006, 04:45 PM
Well, I was VERY proud of myself yesterday.

I walked into a craft store, had a look through the 25% off already reduce priced yarns... and....

DIDN'T BUY A THING!!!

Not because it wasn't nice... quite on the contrary... SO much self control.. I feel a little proud :D

humblestumble
01-14-2006, 04:54 PM
yeay! :cheering:

Ingrid
01-14-2006, 05:17 PM
You're a strong, strong woman, Miss Tia! ;)

KellyK
01-14-2006, 06:00 PM
:( Im happy for you....I guess. :(

Lady M
01-14-2006, 06:01 PM
Way To Go !!!!

You Have a Will of Steal now !!!

As my hubby says to me at times..........What a Woman !!!

Congratulations :thumbsup:

Anne

misstialouise
01-14-2006, 07:08 PM
:( Im happy for you....I guess. :(

:roflhard:

I'm going to an LYS here in Adelaide tomorrow.. so we'll see how good my willpower is then.. :D

The only thing I'm permitted to purchase is yarn to complete my requirement for the Aline skirt KAL :D

Carol_OH
01-14-2006, 07:57 PM
thanks for these posts, Tia!

And yes, ADs don't make you numb, they help you be NORMAL! In fact, it's only since I have been on ADs that I have been able to cry!

I too am on AD - and they have saved my life!!! For years I was unable to focus, unable to move (though I did because I had a son to raise by myself). Thank the heavens for ADs!!!!

And humble, I agree that a lot of meds are over-prescribed, but for some of us with screwy brain chemistry, they are as important as air!

feministmama
01-14-2006, 08:11 PM
Well, I was VERY proud of myself yesterday.

I walked into a craft store, had a look through the 25% off already reduce priced yarns... and....

DIDN'T BUY A THING!!!

Not because it wasn't nice... quite on the contrary... SO much self control.. I feel a little proud :D

OMIGODDESS!!! Good for you!!! :cheering: :cheering: :cheering:

knittingdoula
01-15-2006, 12:05 AM
For those of you with focus issues, have you spoken to your practitioner about the possibility that you have ADD or ADHD? Attentional difficulties are quite common with ADD, and women are MAJORLY underdiagnosed.

Also, it is not uncommon to have depression secondary to the ADD, as a comorbid condition. Anti-depressants are not always the answer, amphetamines sometimes are. It can take an experienced practitioner to tease out ADD from depression and make a true diagnosis.

In any case, women are quite often diagnosed as having depression before ADD because people think of ADHD, and forget that there is an ADD without the hyperactivity component.

Alison

Ellen Edwards
01-15-2006, 03:48 AM
Good LUCK on your journey!! I have a bad habit of wanting, and sometimes BUYING too much yarn and needles---especially if they are on" sale". My husband doesn't say anything about it, but I know , I KNOW, that I'm spending money WE DON"T HAVE!!! ( I've also done this with counted crosstitch materials, and painting materials!!) If I can't be somehow involved in creating something, I find that I'm more depressed than ever.

So thanks for posting!! I understand it so much--I also suffer from anxiety/depression disorder...I've spent many years consulting with a psychiatrist and I'm sure it really saved my life. I know that the problems have to do with a chemical unbalance, and I no longer feel GUILTY about having this!! Most of the time, I feel like I'm on a very long, tiring journey, and many times feel like while I take 2 steps forward , I take 4 steps back. But we have to keep on keeping on!! Things WILL get better! :thumbsup:

misstialouise
01-15-2006, 10:49 PM
Well, I went to the Adelaide LYS, and didn't do as well as I'd hoped...

BUT I spent UNDER AUS$40..

I only bought three sets of casein dpns (two for sock, one for beanies/bags), and three balls of 100% Non-dyed 100g balls of Jumbuck wool for a ... BOOGA BAG!

:D I think I did well mainly because 1. I had limited time there because of busses, and 2. a limited amount in my wallet :D

So a little time off the wagon.. but I'm interstate.. so does it really count??? ;)

Ingrid
01-15-2006, 11:12 PM
It's ok, we all slip off the wagon from time to time. :rofling:

VictoiseC
01-16-2006, 01:23 PM
Wow. Interesting stuff. Funny, I used to go through so much anxiety-wise / depressing days BLACK DAYS etc. then I got older and things started looking different. (here's where the punch line should be) After 40 you start realising um, shite, why did I waste so much time worrying and stressing and being unhappy. Well, I did anyhoo. I see my younger sisters going through the same stuff, my one sister has been on pills for years (since our mum died) and then the other one got on the Prozac wagon. I was like pleeeeeeeease not Prozac. They both sounded funny, I know what humblestumble, you mean about the fake happy thing.


I love having a bunch of stuff on the needles. I have a half made hat, a half of a vest for my DH, socks that need to be closed.... a bag that needs its handle sewed on, a scarf that needs ends woven in. I don't give a hoot if they're finished or not, I just want something to pick up at knit at any given time.... oh yeah, there's my 2/3 done afghan.

I used to obsess about shoes, then handbags. I'm so glad GLAD HA HA that's it's yarn and yarn magazines now, and maybe a swift next... instead. Well, I'm just thinking outloud here... yeah, and the thing about kids in america, disrespect, god I cannot believe my nieces and how horrid they can be. It's amazing. I didn't know what TTD or AD was either.

I just mentioned SWING DANCING two days ago! Now that could be a really nice little obssession. :happydance:

misstialouise
01-16-2006, 04:49 PM
I just mentioned SWING DANCING two days ago! Now that could be a really nice little obssession. :happydance:

I have to say (and I'm extremely biased here), Swing Dancing is an EXCELLENT obsession to have.. :D

It's one of mine. Been doing it over 12 years :D

Go ahead! GET THAT SWING BUG!!!

:D