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View Full Version : OT Kids! They open their mouths and....


quirky
03-03-2006, 12:58 PM
I was being funny with my son today. He is 8.
He was showing me something and I replied in a sudo-jive accent (think rasta jamaican with a street edge),
"hey man thats really coooool"

He rolls his eyes and says "Don't try to fit in!" :roflhard: :roflhard:
(smart mouth little man...ooohhh he's cruisin fer trouble I tell ya!)


What do YOUR kids say?

bluesol
03-03-2006, 01:07 PM
i have a bilingual toddler...so imagine. currently he calls his dad "mami" and he calls me "papi". when i correct him...i point to his dad and I say 'no, baby that is papi"...he responds "no my papi"... :sunny:

CountryVariety
03-03-2006, 01:09 PM
OMG that is too funny :rofling: Don't ya just love kids that can think fast and have the best one-liners :thumbsup:

My guys are like that too - Nick is 10 and Matt is 6 ... they crack me up all the time.... gotta love our boys :heart:

Shelley
Country Variety Yarn Shop
IT'S ALL ABOUT OPAL YARN
SOCK KNITTING IS 'WEAR' IT'S AT
http://www.countryvariety.com

brendajos
03-03-2006, 01:20 PM
i have a bilingual toddler...so imagine. currently he calls his dad "mami" and he calls me "papi". when i correct him...i point to his dad and I say 'no, baby that is papi"...he responds "no my papi"... :sunny:


lol i have a friend who speaks fluent spanish, his wife is german, and their au pair is swedish.

His little girl would speak in four languages in the same sentance ALL the time. Too cute!

knitqueen
03-03-2006, 01:35 PM
They had Hawaii Day at my 4 year old's preschool last week. All the kids were supposed to bring some fruit to share. Levi is pretty good with the common fruits, like apples, oranges, grapes, etc., so I was curious if he would have tried anything else. I asked him what fruit he ate and he said "strawberry slobber". I was like "WHAT??" and he said "you know, when you pick up strawberries and you get strawberry slobber on your fingers!" :roflhard: as if, "DUH Mom, doesn't EVERYONE know about strawberry slobber?" :doh:

lisak
03-03-2006, 01:47 PM
Ok, not my kid, but...

I went to dinner with my sister, her husband and their 4 year old last week. There was a police officer in the restaraunt that came over to talk to him, which he LOVED. Then he pulls the officer down close to him, points at me and says "she said damn". OOPS. :shock:

Julie
03-03-2006, 02:30 PM
omg Lisa, that's HILARIOUS :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

TwoLeftNeedles
03-03-2006, 02:56 PM
My seven year old was talking about pirates 'n stuff with me, and I asked him if he knew what "walking the plank" was.

He said, "Yup. It's how you get girls off your boat."

:roflhard:

VickiIL
03-03-2006, 03:00 PM
We had baptisms at my church the last month. It was the first time my kids have seen a baptism (we baptize adults and the kids are usually still in their sunday school rooms) So my 6 yo wanted to know when he could be "bath-tized" and my 4 yo was (very loudly) commenting on how no one took off their clothes to get in the "bath-tizing" tub. "Don't they know you don't take a bath with your clothes on!"

What gets me even more is when they say something you completely don't understand...and then you find out that they are right! A family friend was over and picked up some animal toys to play with my kids. My then 5yo told her that the two animals she picked would never play together because one was nocturnal and the other was diurnal! :shock: Where do they learn these things?

brendajos
03-03-2006, 03:11 PM
When i was a nanny my five year old (who is sadly turning TWENTY this year--when did i get THAT old? :( ) and i went to the grocery store. She was sitting in the cart and i told her that i would drive and she would navigate this time. of course i got the puzzled expression i was expecting and i explained to her what navigate meant.

a few days later i was sitting in the kitchen talking to her mom and she was telling me the most amazing Dee Dee story...lol. Dee Dee was out with her mom and Frankie (mom's b/f) They got in the car and she said:

"Frankie! You drive....i am going to aggravate today!"

this of course was amusing in itself but they asked her what she meant and she said "I am going to tell you what direction you are driving today!"

"Dee Dee where did you learn what navigate means?"

"Nanny taught me!"


they were just amazed that she knew what navigate meant even if she couldn't say it right.

i of course i was more amused by her declaration that she was going to aggravate... kids are rarely so upfront about that! :rofling:

KellyK
03-03-2006, 03:27 PM
OMG, keep 'em coming!!! :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:


A coworker was just telling me a story about her 2 boys today....1 and 3 yrs old. They were getting ready to get in the bath. 3 yr old decided to pee before his bath, and Mom just popped around the corner to throw their clothes in the hamper.

Suddenly she hears 3-yr old screaming "NO NO NO STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT MOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!" She RUNS back into the bathroom to see that 1yr old had pulled himself up to standing next to the toilet and was trying to "stop" his big brother's "stream" by waving his hand up and down through it!

:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

Boys are so weird.....it starts from BIRTH, doesnt it??

Jan in CA
03-03-2006, 03:28 PM
OMG! :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

blueeyes28
03-03-2006, 03:49 PM
my son when he was 5 heard me teasing my husband about his spare tire around his waist so 7 months later when I had baby number 2 he grabbed my waist and said hey Don(his stepfather) at least you don't have a flat tire"!!!!Thats what I get I guess :rollseyes:

VickiIL
03-03-2006, 03:53 PM
My dh gets on the kids for wasting things and has told them it is extravegant to waste. My 4 yo was pitching a fit in the bathroom. We went to investigate and the 2 yo was putting square of toliet paper after sqare of tp into the toilet. She had one hand on her hip and was waving the finger of the other hand in the 2 yos face. She told us that the baby was being "extrapulant."

blueeyes28
03-03-2006, 04:01 PM
when my second baby was in the hospital we brought my oldest in to see him and the nurse that was there was playing with him he told her he would put her in jail and she said "I will just break out"and before I could cup my hand over his mouth because I knew what was coming he said the unthinkable"No you won't cause you are way to fat"I wanted to die right there. One time there was a fireman behind us in line at a little store on our block and he said "hi fireman look at my moms butt"then he lifted my sweater to make sure there was a full view! :roflhard:

margie
03-03-2006, 04:09 PM
I have 2 boys, ages 7 & 9- and I babysit 2 boys, ages 2 and 18mos. Today, I was cleaning off the top of the cabinet in my kitchen that my microwave sits on. It seems to be the place where all the junk gets placed. I accidentally knocked a bunch of magic markers down on the floor. The 2 yr. old said "SH*T". I thought okay, if I ignore it, he won't think anything of it. He then proceeded to repeat himself about 10 times!! I honestly think he's getting that one from home- I tend to be pretty good about my language, because of my own kids!! I remember slipping once when my youngest was about 2- he repeated me immediately. :oops:

dustinac
03-03-2006, 05:23 PM
my wish the floor would swallow me moment---- My son when he was 2.. I had him in wally world... we were going up this one aisle that had a very poor looking lady there and ummm BO... I said hi and then excuse me cause I needed around her where the end of the aisle was blocked with the ladder and stock thing with a wal-mart employee... I was just about to reach for the item I needed when my son says "mommy I think she popped her diaper you better check her" :oops: ohh I felt so bad I knew she heard... the employee was laughing I was trying to get my buggy out of the aisle while aplogizing and stumbling all over the place it was awful.... :oops: :oops:
I still feel so horrible about that wishing I had just chosen to wait to go up the aisle....

mks22300
03-03-2006, 07:30 PM
I teach preschool and a few weeks ago one of my boys asked me "Do you know who the Roman God of the Underworld is?"
I was totally flabbergasted, what 4 year old knows about the Roman Gods? :shock: I was too shocked to give him an answer and could only remember that the Greeks called him Hades and couldn't think of what the Romans called him (I was pretty sure that it was Pluto and it is). Later I found out that he has some planet program for his computer, but I was still impressed by him.

blueeyes28
03-03-2006, 07:57 PM
when my youngest was in the hospital my older son who was 5 then coiled up the thin strap of my purse and pulled it apart a little so it looked like a cspiral and said to my babys surgeon "This is what dna looks like ya know" aparently on one of his discovery movies about dinosaurs talks a little about dna :??

Jan in CA
03-03-2006, 08:05 PM
I guess I can share these.. :roflhard:

When my stepdaughter was about 4 and visiting us for the weekend (we had no kids of our own yet) I had to work for a few hours and she came with me because DH was also working. I was a hairdresser at the time and I made sure we had plenty of coloring books and toys to keep her busy in the waiting area. The shop was open in design so she was always visible and I was pretty close to her anyway. So I'm giving this nice, elderly woman a perm when Danielle comes up to ask me a question. The woman (with perm rods in her hair) says to her, "how do you think I look?" Danielle says, "I think you look like a witch!" Arrrggghhh! I'm thinking doesn't this childs mother teach her manners? The woman is very amused and tells her she'll look much better when it's all done. An hour or so later when the woman is all combed out and looking spiffy she asks Danielle how she looks now and Danielle says, "I still think you look like a witch!" :shock: Thank god the woman wasn't offended and came back the next week! :roflhard:

Another time Danielle was there for the weekend we went out to get the mail...she comes screaming out of the house as only a 4 yr old can yelling at the top of her lungs, "I WANT TO CHECK THE MAIL, I WANT TO SEE IF YOUR FOOD STAMPS GOT HERE!!" Oh. My. God. :shock: I somehow managed to calmly tell her that not everyone uses food stamps and that we don't.

I could go on... she was an interesting child to say the least and as a 21yr old wife and new stepmom it was an eye opener! :roflhard:

Darhain
03-03-2006, 08:06 PM
My four-year-old DS is a mimic, as are most kids that age. So, DH has been saying, "you are most welcome" when the kids say "thank you" and DS has started copying that. Only, when he says it, it comes out "you're almost welcome". :D Kinda changes the meaning a bit, huh?

My two-year-old DD's favorite book at the moment is one about the different sounds animals/cars/horns/laughter/etc. make. She asks to read this book over and over and over again. Last week, DH was reading the book to her and DS, but she wasn't really paying attention. So when he gets to the part about the owl and says, "What does an owl say?", DD replies "moo ****-a-doo"! :roflhard:

quirky
03-03-2006, 09:36 PM
OMG These stories have me rolling! :roflhard: :roflhard:

When my son was 2 I was big into making him a hot breakfast. One morning I made an omelete. I put it in front of him expecting him to be excited to eat. Instead he asked "whats that?"
When I told him it was an omelete he replied "thats not an omelete, thats a tragedy!" :rofling:

HeatherFeather
03-03-2006, 10:06 PM
my dd is always coming up with things....

when she was 3, my dh was listening to some hard rock music. Highway to Hell was on I think by ACDC...she marched in, put her hand on her hip, and said..."if I was Barbie, I wouldn't MARRY you!!!!!!!!"

she's 7 now, and at dinner the other night, dh made a BAD pun, nobody laughed...he said, don't you get it....explained it...she looked at him square, and said as deadpan as can be "yeah I get it, but dad, it's not FUNNY"....

I was quizzing her on her Religion test she got back. They were to circle yes or no, based on the question. The question was: Jesus had 10 people as his helpers. I asked how did she know it was wrong. She said...Mom...ya know...it's the TWELVE diciples....that's why...there were TWELVE helpers, (talking like I was the biggest idiot)

My 13 yo came home the other day, backpack filled, so he couldn't put his heavy coat in there. He was layered pretty heavily, so when I gave him his welcome home hug, I noticed his shirt was a bit damp from sweating. I said... Man, you are HOT...he answered me....whyyyyy thankkkk youuuuuuuu....(like sexy thanks)...I said....HANK...gave him a potch, and said..well yeah!!!

And this is my comedian: Mike Conway!!! lol...

punkhippiemom
03-04-2006, 12:19 AM
:roflhard: :roflhard: :rofling: :rofling: :roflhard: :roflhard:
OMG, this is just too much....
My older DS, who is six now, came out with this gem - I was proud and flabbergasted at the same time, because he was only four.
We were visiting my mom and dad, and my dad had just started working nights. We explained to him that we had to leave because Poppy was going to work, and Nanny was going to sleep.
DS:"Why is Poppy going to work at night Mommy? Doesn't he have to sleep like Nanny?"
Me: "Yes, he does, but Poppy sleeps during the day, and works at night."
DS thinks for a moment....:"So, Poppy's nocturnal?"
Me: :?? "What?"
DS: (exasperated) "You know, like a bat?? He sleeps in the day and awakes at night."
:roflhard: :roflhard: To this day, he still refers to his Poppy as nocturnal.

My DS is following in his big brothers footsteps...
The boys enjoy walking on DH's and my backs. I don't really mind, but I can't stretch out on the floor without having little feet all over me.
DS the younger was walking on my back, and as I was wearing satin jammies, he was having as much fun as though he were on a slip n slide. When he finally exhausted himself, he flopped down next to me and said "Mommy, you're too wiggly, like jelly."
I must not have looked too pleased, because he then added, "but I'm peanut butter!!"
:lol:

KatyKoolkat
03-04-2006, 02:37 AM
These really are too funny!! \

I am a nanny for (in ten weeks and counting) FOUR kids under six (yikes!!). Thank goodness they are all faily well behaved.

Anyway, there was one night we were sitting around the dinner table ( I am live in, and eat dinner with the family) and the oldest turns to her dad (we were talking about the brain) and comments how the brain makes decisions. She says 'First the brain registers the threat in the front of your head, then it travels to the 'neural cortex' in back of the brain and makes a decision! (having said that, the only thing i remember is that she used the words ' neural cortex' Maybe had something to do with how your brain commands your body? I don't honestly remember)

Anyway, her parents and I are just sitting there all flabbergasted, and so her dad asks her where she learned it. Her response? My teacher, Daddy.

It was the funniest thing.

countingsheep
03-04-2006, 09:59 AM
OK... I will give you one of the more embarrassing ones thanks to my DD.

Savannah was 5 and in kindergarten. They were discussing recycling and conservation and all that stuff when the teacher asks whose family does things like this to protect the environment.

DD raises her hand and proudly states: "My mommy and daddy conserve water all the time. They take showers together." :shock:

Within a day or two, I go in to take cupcakes or something for the class and the teacher comes up to me grinning. She says, "BTW, I hear that you and your DH are big into conservation."

I'm thinking.. whaaaaat? :?? I just smile and hope that she'll continue because I can't think of anything that we do out of the ordinary.

She continues, "Yes, Savannah shared with the class that you and Andre shower together to conserve water. The other kids thought it was a good idea to suggest for their parents." :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:

NOOOOO!!!!! SAVANNAH! The kids did not get cookies or cupcakes for a while after that and a few of the other moms called me just howling - :roflhard: I think they were just glad that it wasn't THEIR kid! :oops:

Ang

Darhain
03-04-2006, 11:18 AM
:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

AidanM
03-04-2006, 11:56 AM
When I was much much younger, before I was even talking, one of my aunts would continually brag about how much babies love her. So one day she's visiting me and my mom and she asks to hold me...

WELL, as my mother tells me, I let out such a racket! I HATED having my aunt hold me! Until I was finally too old to be held all the time, I never ever let that woman hold me. After a few times, she stopped visiting me and my mom so much!

To this day, I think that bragging is really dumb. :P

gimmesanity
03-04-2006, 01:21 PM
One day, I was babysitting for a my friend's 5 yo DS, Sam. I took him to the grocery store. The checkout lines were kind of long that day, and they weren't moving very quickly. Well, Sam is standing there huffing and puffing and getting impatient. When the person in front of us starts putting her things on the belt, Sam turns to her and says, "You're taking a really long time."

Very rude.

I turn to Sam and tell him that that's not how we speak to adults and that he needs to apologize to the lady. Sam turns to the lady and says: "I'm sorry you're so fat and slow and take so long."

O-my-gawd. I knew these people were thinking that this is my kid, too.

Another time, he's at his gma's house taking a bath. His gma has a HUGE garden jacuzzi, and there's a mirror across from the tub. Sam's gma walks into the bathroom and finds a nekked Sammy standing on the edge of the tub looking into the mirror. She asks what he's doing, and Sam replies: "I'm looking at my magnificent genitals." What??

He is, by far, my favorite little boy.

mks22300
03-04-2006, 01:46 PM
:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

brendajos
03-04-2006, 01:49 PM
Sam replies: "I'm looking at my magnificent genitals."



and so it begins........GUYS! :rollseyes:



:rofling:

feministmama
03-04-2006, 02:28 PM
Oh...OH...the tears.....rolling.....down...my face.......y'all have funny kids....keep em coming :heart:

HeatherFeather
03-04-2006, 02:47 PM
I KNOWWWWWWWWWWW......I can't stop laughing, and I can't share these the only one in da house right now is the 13 yo, and he's got a tude!!!!!!

AnreeAce
03-04-2006, 10:02 PM
OK then, time to share one about myself.

This story comes from my Mom. I can't remember this particular event, but considering what a sarcastic woman I've turned out to be, I simply MUST believe that it's true...

I was but a wee small lassie, talking with my Dad one night after dinner, and I had trouble pronouncing "comfortable." I said something about "my cofforbul new shoes."

Well, Dad thought it was important that I learn to speak my native language properly, so he interjected, "No honey, say it like this... Commmforrftable....Commmforrrtable....Commmforrrta ble..."

Mom says I blinked up at him, said "That's really good Dad," and went on with my story while my Mom giggled behind her book.

Really, I'm not convinced the intervening 30-some-odd years have done much to mellow my personality!

I'm having a lot of fun reading all these wonderful stories, thanks for sharing!

ecb
03-04-2006, 10:13 PM
well, my MOST embarrassing story I cannot say here
but my then 5yo tried to get me a date at the supermarket

it was VERY sweet until I realized what her intentions were

but my Oldest was having a good friend over for a playdate
they fell asleep in front of the Movie and I let them slep, then I fell asleep
I woke up about 15 min later hearing these two angelic little girls yelling "Move it you a$$#ole" back and forth at each other
I RAN out the door asking what in the world was wrong, and WHY would they say SUCH a thing
my Daughter turned to me with the sweetest smile and said "wer're being A****les mommy" and tooted the little horn on her Trike and pettled down the walk

the other little girls mother was as shocked AND amused as I was
but
BOTH fathers got an earful that night

ecb

AidanM
03-04-2006, 10:51 PM
OMG! I almost fell out of my chair laughing! That's HYSTERICAL!!! :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

Sara
03-04-2006, 11:37 PM
DD was playing with her plastic animals. She talks non-stop, there are intricate social dramas unfolding on my dining room table. I was in the kitchen when I hear her say, "All right! I'll go on a date with you! But you're not sleeping in my bed!!"

:shock:

:roflhard:

Jan in CA
03-04-2006, 11:48 PM
I just remembered another funny...

When my girls were about 5 and 2.5 yrs they were playing at their great-grandmother's house. We (adults) were sitting in the dining area drinking coffee and chatting when I hear this noise like quick little breaths and then a groan. I thought what on earth are they doing?! I go peek into the other room and my older daughter is deliving a doll from beneath her little sister's sundress...and they were using the Lamaze method obviously! I asked them how they knew about that?!...Apparently my older daughter, who is extremely gifted, remembered when I was practicing before her sister was born. :shock: :roflhard: :roflhard: My grandmother was amused and a little shocked, but had no idea what it was all about.. Lamaze wasn't around then. ;)

KellyK
03-05-2006, 03:51 AM
OH! My nephew!

He was about 3 or so...was about at the age whem it was no longer appropriate for him to come barging into the bathroom when others were on the pot. So, I tried to explain "privacy". Some time later, he had been in the BR for a bit too long, so I peeked my head in to make sure he wasnt getting in to anything....He was still on the pot and I got an EARFUL! :mad: "AUNTIE KELLY! I NEEEEED PIRACY!!"

AmandaC
03-05-2006, 11:03 AM
Last week when my youngest was off nursery ill, he said to me *hand on hip - wagging finger* 'Mummy, if you're knitting you can't watch telly at the same time!' just so he could watch his own channels. :shock:

My nephew once told my sister that ' you're not fat Mummy ... you're just short!!!' :roflhard:

I'm sure there are more but my mind has gone blank...

hedgewick
03-05-2006, 01:20 PM
Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

-my 3 year old son

I'm not sure if he heard this somewhere or not but it's pretty cute. He loves knock-knock jokes too. :lol:

beldaraan
03-05-2006, 06:47 PM
Ok, I'm in on this too....

If I see a stranger eating yogurt, I will have no choice but to run away, whilst covering my son's eyes (so that he doesn't see).

Right now, whenever he says yogurt, it comes out sounding like a very bad, racial, slang, "N" word :shock:

(If you listen very closely, he doesn't say it with an N) :oo:

AKchick
03-05-2006, 09:19 PM
Dh, me and our two boys who were around 5 and 2 then were sitting in the airport waiting for the call to board and my youngest noticed a cat in a kennel. He couldn't pronounce a lot of his words very well yet but when he saw the kitty he would say "ditty, ditty". I thought he was so cute and wanted to join him in his enthusiasm of seeing the cat and tried to repeat what he said, except when I said it, it sounded like "titty, titty". I noticed the family sitting next to us got a giggle out of it when I was willing to take my beet red face out of my husbands shirt.

kayeknit
03-21-2006, 08:02 PM
I know there was a similar post recently. But isn't it fun? My eight-year-old daughter said over dinner today, "That's why it's called Minneapolis. Because there are MANY APPLES there!" :rofling:
Anyone have any more to share?

Hildegard_von_Knittin
03-21-2006, 08:13 PM
A few years ago, I was driving my then 3 year old nephew home from the park; it was summer time, VERY hot, and I had both front windows open. He couldn't reach the window in his booster seat, so he says "Aunt Carolyn, can you roll down the window? I'm sweating my balls off." :shock: I was like WHAT??????? And he said it again, perfectly innocently and matter-of-factly.... and then looked at me like *I* was being innapropriate for asking!!!!!! :roflhard: I told him that that wasn't nice to say, but yes I will roll down the window :rollseyes: His father (my BIL) got a big lecture when I got back to his house. At least he didn't say it in the grocery store or Home Depot or something.

His sister, my niece Hailey who is 6 now, got into the kitchen while her mother (SIL) and I were outside smoking severalyears ago (i quit though!!!!).... we came back inside to smashed raw eggs, flour, vegetable oil, lettuce, orange juice.. all kinds of crap ALL over the floor. I was SPEECHLESS :shock: and SIL says "hailey! what are you doing???????" and Hailey looks up, rolls her eyes, and says "I'm making mulligan stew" Duh, mom. :roflhard: I wonder where that came from!!!!

CarmenIbanez
03-22-2006, 02:14 PM
My sister, who is many years younger than me was riding in my car one day. I can't remember what she did or said, but I replied "not even on your best day", to which of course she replied, "but sissy, it ISN'T my best

Another one: once we were eating pasta and I didn't have enough of the rotini (sp?) noodles that are curly, so I added a few regular spaghetti noodles. Half way through dinner, my sister picked one of the spaghetti noodles up and said, "sissy, this one came uncurled!"

RachelJean
03-23-2006, 10:24 AM
I was shopping with my 9 yo DD the other day. She was trying something on, and she explained to me that colors like black, white, beige, and gray are "nutrients." I finally figured out that she meant "neutrals." :roflhard:

CarmenIbanez
03-23-2006, 01:30 PM
I thought of another one this morning. I was explaining to my son one day why we couldn't buy something he wanted. I told him that I hadn't been paid yet and there wasn't any money in the bank. He looked me dead in the eye and said, "we can't be out of money, you still have checks!". :roflhard:

hillerkim
03-23-2006, 02:14 PM
What a fun topic! Cute stories!

I have two that I can think of.

My eldest son was about 3'ish when this happened. I was taking him to the sitters house and as we were driving there we passed some fields that were really flooded with water. I commented to him to look at all the water and his was response was "Holly SH**, Mom!" Good thing I kept the car on the road. :roflhard:

The second is from my youngest son. One night we were all gathered at the table for supper and the topic of babies came up since we had a recent addition of a cousin to the family. My youngest looks me straight in the eye, serious as can be and asks me when WE were going to get another baby at our house. Of course my husband is trying not to spew corn out his nose and my oldest son is kinda snickering too. Of course I had to explain to him that we probably wouldn't be having any more babies at OUR house but that is what his Aunties & Uncles were for. :D

They are amazing aren't they??

Stacy
03-23-2006, 02:57 PM
I love these stories!

One summer my side of the family went to Gatlinburg for a family vacation. My husband was playing a PlayStation game and he gets quite intense when he plays. Well, out slipped, "F***!!!

My newphew, who was four at the time stood up and shouted, "Daddy, Ryan just said F***!"

Poor Tyler couldn't figure out why all of the adults were laughing and letting Uncle Ryan get away with bad language.

Stacy

mks22300
03-23-2006, 10:23 PM
The other day in my classroom one of the little girls made a picture for her mommy. She told me that she needed an antelope and I said an antelope? She says yeah, I need an antelope to put this in. Then it dawns on me that she wanted an envelope! I couldn't wait to tell her mom that she had an antelope waiting for her. :roflhard:

KellyK
03-24-2006, 08:35 AM
:roflhard: Maybe she could train the antelope to hold the picture gently in its mouth and present it to her Mommy??? :roflhard:

April410
03-24-2006, 01:22 PM
I love reading all the kid stories...they're HI-LAR-EE-US!! My 3 year old has TONS of these little stories...most recent-

We just moved to Phoenix, AZ from San Diego, CA. We had lived with my M&D for about a year while our house in AZ was being built. Needless to say, my parents and daughter got VERY close. It has been hard on her (and me!) since we've been out here. Anyway, we call to talk to them at least once a week. Last night, Emma was talking to her "tatay" (my dad). He was just asking her a bunch of questions about ballet class and the kids in day care. She was answering his questions and after awhile, she got quiet. I asked if there was something wrong and she said "Mama, tatay is talking too much. He's making me tired." in a not so quiet voice! :doh: I was so embarrassed...but my dad thought it was the funniest thing in the world. He couldn't talk, he was laughing so hard.

knitqueen
03-30-2006, 01:54 AM
Tonight for bedtime stories we were reading a Clifford the Big Red Dog book, where there is a part about road workers putting a cable down a manhole. My 4.5yr old ds says "Or....it could be a girlhole" :shock: At first I'm thinkin', hmmmm that didn't sound so good! But then I was like, no.....wait.....that's SMART! My kid's a genius!! :roflhard: :P

Ingrid
03-30-2006, 08:44 AM
From innocent mind to adult mind, huh?

When my daughter was about 5 we had hermit crabs. One day she called me in because it looked like one was 'laying' the other. I held my breath and went in to see what on earth she was talking about and to find out where she learned that kind of language, and I saw that one crab was on top of the other, fighting for the position in the corner of the cage. The one on top was pushing the one on the bottom out from under it.

She meant 'laying' as in an egg. :oops:

LeslieA
03-30-2006, 10:28 AM
OMG these are too funny. Ok I have a couple.

Last summer we were driving to my sil wedding in Ohio. So I was driving and we were almost there when my husband and I were talking about his brother (who is kinda a degenerate that's another story) who was not coming to the wedding and I believe we called him a "loser" ok I know not nice. So we arrive at the hotel and my hubbys other brother and sil were waiting outside for us because we were going to check in and then head over to the bride's house. So my hubby and daughter get out of the car to go check in and I go park the car. Well apparently when my dd saw my hubbys brother she goes right up to them and says "Mommy said your a loser" OMG when my hubby came back to the car and told me I almost died. Well needles to say there was a lot of talking back forth they wouldn't talk to me the whole nine yards. Geesh. Then my bil says "kids only say what they hear" he honestly thought I was talking about them. Well it opened up another can of worms with dh's other sister but that's another story. I think they are still mad. Oh well.

Ok another. My daugher who just turned 5, came downstairs one day after her bath all wrapped up in her bathrobe. And tells my hubby "I'm going to go back around the corner and I want you to say hey look at that hot girl" I was dying. So ok my dh does this then she takes the corner of her bathrobe and pulls it back like she's showing her leg. OMG where so they get this. I swear PBS kids is on the tv most of the time. It was so funny.

brendajos
03-30-2006, 10:36 AM
Well needles to say...


i think the funniest part of those stories was your typo! i think it is on the brain! :rofling:

Eiline
03-30-2006, 10:37 AM
My three year old son has been a wild child to handle. I have twin girls that were cake compared to him. A few months ago I was sitting down and he walks up to me with his shirt held up grabbing his nips and twisting his fingers around like a radio dial. I stop what I was knitting and just stare. Son, what on earth are you doing? He replies I am makin em go Mom! You can do yours.... I was laughin really hard but had to stop at that and tell him no lol. He had his hands outstretched and was ready to demonstrate how I could. A little funny a little horrifying.

gardenmommy
03-30-2006, 10:52 AM
One day when my younger son Jagger was 4, came up to me and said "I really like the hot guys." I was thinking to myself, "Okay, he's 4, how does he know about hot guys? Is a 4-year-old really that AWARE? I don't think I said anything about hot guys...." Anyway, I asked "Hot guys? Which ones?" He said the football team. I FINALLY figured out he was saying "Hawkeyes" which is the University of Iowa sports teams.

brendajos
03-30-2006, 10:58 AM
One day when my younger son Jagger was 4, came up to me and said "I really like the hot guys." I was thinking to myself, "Okay, he's 4, how does he know about hot guys? Is a 4-year-old really that AWARE? I don't think I said anything about hot guys...." Anyway, I asked "Hot guys? Which ones?" He said the football team. I FINALLY figured out he was saying "Hawkeyes" which is the University of Iowa sports teams.


lol now there's a kid after my own heart! though bein' that they are college guys i am long past thinking they are hot! ;) (Steve Alford is a whole different story though! :rofling: )

samm
03-30-2006, 11:52 AM
I'm loving the stories. Having been a primary grade teacher I have a few. One, for now. I was teaching grade one kidlets to write stories. Thanksgiving was close, in October here in Canada, so the kids didn't have a lot of printing skills yet. I had the cream of the crop kids, though, as they were six grade ones in my split 1-2 classroom. One very bright little fellow wrote his own story, from a topic I had suggested. He wrote from the point of view of the turkey. I've never forgotten his story! In it's entirety it was ' I am a turkey.
I am sad.
Gobble.
I kept a copy of that story for years.
My oldest when about eighteen months old, was sitting outside on the front stoop with a neighbour child who was five, and me. A delivery truck came, and I asked young Sam if he would watch Kevin for a minute while I went in with the delivery. As I came back a minute later I could hear through the screen door, Sammy asking Kevin his animal sounds....
What does the dog say? Woof woof.
What does a cow say? Mooooooo.
What does a duck say? Quack.
What does a kitty say? Meouw.
What does a horse say? Neigh.
What does Mummy say? NO NO NO!!!
I cracked up completely! And Sam wondered why. :roflhard:
samm

bluesol
03-30-2006, 02:31 PM
ok this is now funny but it was not when i first heard about it. my 2 year old son got in trouble for saying "pick me up". one of the daycare providers complained that my son kept pointing his little finger at her and screaming "beat you up". well did i mention he is only two years old and learning two languages? i was so upset. i could not believe it. my baby, a bully! Later on that night while i was getting him some juice, he kept pulling on my shirt and saying pick me up, pick me up! Oh! Yeah pick you up....

LeslieA
03-30-2006, 04:02 PM
Needles :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:
I can't believe I did that!