PDA

View Full Version : Uncomprehending Non-Knitters - Grrr..


AidanM
07-23-2006, 01:17 PM
I conquered the first 1/3 of a baby sweater I've had to rip back two or three times. I've been telling my friends because most of them are able to humour me. However, a few have said "Conquered? Jeez Aidan, it's not a mountain or anything!"
It's not a mountain.
Huh.
So this morning I just asked one of them point-blank "Have YOU ever knitted a sweater?" And they didn't answer me. I went on to say, "You're right. Climbing a mountain has a lot fewer steps!" then I showed her the math that gave me my total number of completed stitches. Still, she said nothing.
Finally I told her, "Look, don't belittle my accomplishments because I have as much invested in my knitting as you do in your writing. Just remember how it feels to have somebody belittle your writing and your triumphs."

I'm still a little peeved, but I feel better for having said something back. What do you say when somebody tries to belitle your accomplishments as a knitter? I can't seem to get through to most people, today was an exception.

Cristy
07-23-2006, 02:14 PM
I've been lucky enough not to have anyone belittle my knitting too badly although it irritates me sometimes when I think people don't take it seriously. Earlier today my mil and fil were here to drop off dd who has been with them for the weekend. Just before they got home I had decided to pick up a sock I started a long time ago and try it again. In the process of them coming in and dd running around like only a 4 yr old can do, I managed to forget to pick up my working needle to knit and was using needles 2 and 3 of my round--I was knitting from needle #2 onto needle #3. I realized what I had done and started counting stitch and trying to figure out how to replace the stitches on their correct needles when I noticed that I no longer had the correct number of stitches. (I tend to talk to myself a lot when I knit) "How is that possible!" I sort of whispered and my mil began to giggle outloud. I don't know why but it sort of irritated me--i wanted to tell her this wasn't exactly a laughing matter although I knew she wouldn't understand.

Unfortunately, I've been so frustrated w/ my knitting un-accomplishments lately that the only person I have to scold for negativity is myself!

Jenelle
07-23-2006, 02:43 PM
I usually say, "I don't see you doing anything productive with your life," to them.. I have a very low tolerance when people do belittle me..


But it seems that lately people are belittleing me for starting one project and not finishing it. Or I'm not knitting enough. :rollseyes:

cecile77
07-23-2006, 02:48 PM
Luckily I haven't really had any bad experiences with my friends or family belittling my knitting. This guy at work told me that it was "grandma stuff" and that I shouldn't be doing it. A minute later he asked me if I could make him a hat. Once people see your work they will realize how much time and effort goes into it and they won't be so quick to dismiss it.

Jeremy
07-23-2006, 03:22 PM
My critics will say something like "but you haven't finished that pair of socks yet..." They have no understanding of how many wips the ususal kniiter has.

Jan in CA
07-23-2006, 04:09 PM
I've been lucky and no one has belittled me (at least to my face), but I love your response. It leaves them little room to argue which is the way to handle it. Go you!! :thumbsup:

EssenceRose
07-23-2006, 05:47 PM
Surprisingly enough, I had the opposite reaction. I learned that a friend of mine (who I've known for 5 years) also knits. Imagine my shock when she showed me one of her WIP's -- I was stunned! So now we have one more thing to talk about. I even have a male friend who admits to knitting and I was equally surprised by that.

I don't know how I would react if somebody tried to belittle something that I thought of as an accomplishment. I don't think anybody should do that -- it's just plain rude. I'd probably fume silently and then make a point of showing off my very awesome new scarf/sweater/socks/hat/etc when it was finished. LOL

Mrs.H
07-24-2006, 01:20 AM
I am also one of the lucky ones so far, no snide comment have come my way, only polite inquiries about my WIP. Sometimes I catch my DH sitting there, just watching me knit, he says he love to watch me, it reminds him of watching his late mother and grandmother. Not very romantic, but the wistful look on his face is so sweet.
Linda

Shandeh
07-24-2006, 01:41 AM
Aiden, maybe it's time to make some new friends? These sound pretty rude to me. :thinking:

feministmama
07-24-2006, 10:55 AM
I always think of a snappy comeback to some snide remark.....10 minutes after they made it :rollseyes:

My son's dad also makes fun of my "little sewing projects" (he can't even get the craft right) until he saw my clogs I made and he thought they were the coolest things he had ever seen. he said I should sell them at our local craft fair downtown. Humph.

07-24-2006, 11:05 AM
Kudos to you for being able to have a comeback right away.
:thumbsup:

(If it were me, I'd have thought of something an hour later :rollseyes: )

brendajos
07-24-2006, 11:11 AM
I don't have friends that make fun really. I guess they do tease a little but that is just the relationship we have. My best guy friend kind of glazes over when i talk about it (or at least pretends to) but I do the same thing when he talks about tax laws...lol. He calls me Knitter in that same tone that I call him CPA Dork! :rofling: My other friends just shake their heads when i pull out the knitting and then get in line for the finished goods...lol

AnreeAce
07-24-2006, 11:11 AM
I always think of a snappy comeback to some snide remark.....10 minutes after they made it :rollseyes:

Ah, my psychic twin!

My DH was a little condescending at first until I reminded him how he'd felt when I talked about him "learning" to ride his motorcycle.

One lady at work called me Granny for a little while until I told her it was a shame she'd never learned a craft from hor grandmother.

Other than that, people have been pretty cool about it.

Good for you Aidan!

VickiIL
07-24-2006, 11:31 AM
I can't say I have ever had a negative comment or even teasing about my knitting from any of my friends or family. Actually it has only been from complete strangers that I have ever been teased. Usually a "Funny, you don't look like a little old lady" type of comment.

My friends and family either 1. do sometype of yarn craft themself...or 2. are amazed that anyone can make anything with sting and 2 sticks! Sometimes when someone learns for the first time that I knit I get a "Really?! You can do that?! Cool!" and then they tell me about someone they know that knits or crochets or what ever.

AidanM
07-24-2006, 01:35 PM
I always think of a snappy comeback to some snide remark.....10 minutes after they made it :rollseyes:

My son's dad also makes fun of my "little sewing projects" (he can't even get the craft right) until he saw my clogs I made and he thought they were the coolest things he had ever seen. he said I should sell them at our local craft fair downtown. Humph.
Whenever people say "You should sell ___" whatever craft it is, I always explain how long it takes to make something and then I say "Just multiply that out with minimum wage. That is what you would have to pay, plus taxes and the materials, and that's just to cover costs." They usually go a little cross-eyed trying to figure it out in their head, but the numbers add up reeeeally quick.

njknitter
07-24-2006, 02:22 PM
Do you ever get the "Oh, I'd love to do that, but I don't have the time." This always rubs me the wrong way, although I don't know why. I am a busy person myself, but knitting is something I love to do, so I find time when I can.

It seems to me that people find time to do things they WANT to do. The people who say this are those who spend their leisure time doing all sorts of things (reading, golfing, boating, gardening, watching tv, whatever).

I always (politely) say, "Of course you have time, you just prefer to spend it doing something else."

So good for you on speaking up!! Also, strike that person off your knitting "to do" list! :lol:
Lynn

iza
07-24-2006, 02:35 PM
It's strange isn't it how people don't realize how much work is involved in making clothes... Is it because most clothes we buy are so cheap? Or that it's something granny used to do so therefore it HAS to be easy? I don't totally understand sometimes the disrespectful comments people have for crafters. I think mechanics, carpenters, etc., feel the same way sometimes. It seems there's a "class" issue going on, maybe? Knitting also has the "problem" of being a traditional women's craft so there is certainly a bit of sexism too. Anyways, Aidan, your answer was perfect!

Shandeh
07-24-2006, 03:14 PM
What bugs me is when someone says, "Hey, that's nice. Will you make one for me?" Then I say, "I will if you buy the yarn and pay me for my time." Then, they wrinkle up their nose and say, "Never mind." :rollseyes:

AidanM
07-24-2006, 03:18 PM
What bugs me is when someone says, "Hey, that's nice. Will you make one for me?" Then I say, "I will if you buy the yarn and pay me for my time." Then, they wrinkle up their nose and say, "Never mind." :rollseyes:
Right - It's like they think "Well if they have nothing better do to with their time than sit there and play with string, maybe they'll make me something." Uh, how about we already have loved ones to knit for not to mention ourselves and you need to make it worth our time to put the ones we love on hold!

I hate the attitude "Well if you've got nothing better to do.." It's just other people thinking that your time is worth less than theirs.

Shandeh
07-24-2006, 03:35 PM
Exactly, Aiden!

I don't know why they can't see that knitting is an art....a craft....a worthy venture. What's WRONG with these people! http://bestsmileys.com/angry1/2.gif

Oh well, that's just the way some people are, I guess. Their loss.

We can just relax, concentrate on our favorite yarn, nice needles, and pattern of choice, creating works of art for worthy admirers. :thumbsup:

AidanM
07-24-2006, 03:42 PM
Or cry and scream and throw ourselves upon a pile of DPN's hoping for a fatal puncture wound while we curse the designer or the publication for the errata in their patterns all the time flailing about for that last ball of yarn for the sleeve which you're realizing is too long and your first pair of socks are tripping you up because you'd forgotten to swatch and they're about six sizes too big and in the middle of it all your family goes "You don't have to knit, you know. No one's forcing you." and you look at them with your tear-streaked face creased in puzzlement and say, "Are you crazy? I love this!"

I'm realizing that I picked up that DPN thing from Yarn Harlot. XD I've also started saying "For the love of wool." Oh my.

Shandeh
07-24-2006, 08:15 PM
:roflhard:

knitwit
07-24-2006, 10:31 PM
Here's my faveorite -
Picture this, me holding up knitted item triumphantly (usually at the office) and someone says "Wow, you really need a hobby".
:?? Helloooooooooooooooooooooo
This IS my HOBBY!
Sheesh :doh:

cozy
07-25-2006, 07:13 AM
I am so glad I don't deal with people like this--I think I'd be really irritated. So far, my family has been extremely supportive & I've taught 3 relatives to knit since I learned.

mulene
07-25-2006, 07:22 AM
My boss has taken to calling me Granny Geraghty. He belittles me a lot and thinks I have gone mad. Frankly I'm beyond caring. Several years ago I lost (or got rid of) all of my friends. Yep ALL. I was in financial difficulty and going through a very rough time with that and my fathers failing health in the last year of his life before he died of cancer.

During that time, quite frankly, I found out who my real friends were. You know who they turned out to be? The money in my pocket and my mother.

My mother regularly tells me that when she is gone all I will have is the money in my pocket and that I should look after it.

I find it difficult to make friends, I'm pretty shy and that can come across as aloof. I can also oddly be quite vocal when something rises the passions (politics I should certainly avoid!).

When I finished bombshell I showed my boss a pic - he was stunned that my grannyesque activity created something that looked pretty good on me (even if I say so myself!). He hasn't commented so much on calling me Granny anymore. He still belittles me over other things and I usually fire back with some acidic sarcasm that puts him in his place.

My other colleagues all detest me anyway, so when they opine on me they will always criticise no matter what I do - good or bad they will always find fault with it.

I think how you handled it was brilliant - you clearly showed how she would feel were someone to do the same thing to her in relation to her own craft of writing. If that doesn't get through to her and she comments like that again, when she next "conquers" some writing block repeat exactly what she said to you "it's not a mountain" and that will get the message across.

mulene
07-25-2006, 07:24 AM
What bugs me is when someone says, "Hey, that's nice. Will you make one for me?" Then I say, "I will if you buy the yarn and pay me for my time." Then, they wrinkle up their nose and say, "Never mind." :rollseyes:

haha my boss is insistent that I knit him something. I've suggested paying me for the time and buying the yarn and amazingly he has become silent on the topic ;)