PDA

View Full Version : OT-Overwhelming Loss


jdee
08-23-2006, 05:22 PM
:verysad:

I'm writing this with tears and a heavy heart. I just took a litter of 4.5 month old stray kittens in to be spayed and neutered and vaccinated yesterday. We just got a call from the clinic, telling us that one of the kittens' abdomen was full of fluid, and she was diagnosed with FIP. They went on to tell my husband that since the rest of the kittens had been exposed, it would be best to put them to sleep, so they wouldn't spread it throughout the neighboorhood cats, and our own pet cats. We told them not to do anything until we talked to our regular vet, so we called him, and after explaining the disease to us, and confirming that it did, indeed sound like FIP, we had no choice but to call them back and tell them to go ahead and euthanize the kittens.

Now, I'm left with a feeling of overwhelming guilt. He explained to us that there was no garantee that the others had the disease, unless they began to show symptoms, and by then, all of our cats could be at risk. He also said that fluid in the abdomen was the wet form, which is the most contageous, and fatal. My logical mind tells me that we made the right choice, in the interest of all our other cats, but the compassionate part of me, who has been working with them, and making sure they are wormed, and de-fleaed, fed, and happy, keeps haunting me. I mean, what if that was the only kitten that was sick, and we just put four healthy kittens to sleep? I just can't stand these thoughts, and for some reason, I can't keep them from coming. but we had to protect the others,,,right?

I just am so heart broken, I don't know if I'll ever feel better.

Please keep us in your prayers.

kitkat
08-23-2006, 05:27 PM
Oh I am so sorry. You did the right thing, you know in your heart, and weren't those little kitties lucky to have had your love and care while they did.

jodstr2
08-23-2006, 05:29 PM
:( :( :( I'm sorry. *hugs*

janelanespaintbrush
08-23-2006, 05:38 PM
Oh I am so sorry. You did the right thing, you know in your heart, and weren't those little kitties lucky to have had your love and care while they did.

I could've had said it better myself. :heart:

orcoastknitter
08-23-2006, 05:39 PM
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
I know exactly how you feel. I had a kitten that FIP as well. When I moved up here I had one of my cats run off into the wild. Never came back. I went to a local animal shelter and found a cute little tiger kitten with one gold toe. She was very small for her age. I took her to the vet and she wasn't in the greatest condition. I nursed her back to health. When she reached 6 months I took her in to get spayed. After about 2 months her stomach started swelling and her hair never grew back on her tummy. I took her in and found out that she had FIP. I was devastated. After learning about the disease I was concerned for my Mom's cat. We had her tested and she was negative. She was vaccinated for it, but found out later that doesn't really work. Maggie, my little tiger was put down exactly 9 months from the day I got her. My heart goes out to you. I know that what I did what was best for Maggie, and she will always remain in my heart. I know she is in a better place where she can run and play with no pain. :hug:

08-23-2006, 06:08 PM
:verysad: I am so very sorry for your terrible loss, but you did do the right thing as hard as it was...remember you gave them all the love that they would ever need. I know it doesn't make you feel any better but you are a good mom. :hug: your other 'kids' tonight. That always makes me feel a little better.

My thoughts and prayers our with you and your family...

Nikki
08-23-2006, 06:18 PM
Why isn't the right thing ever the easy thing? You did a great service to those animals, even though it tore your heart out. You saved them from a lot of misery. You're a good person.
Nikki

mamabeth
08-23-2006, 06:26 PM
What is FIP? I have a pregnant mama cat who is due any day now. Her other litter is about 4.5 months old now, and we're planning to take them to be spayed and vaccinated shortly (been saving).

XbelovedXoneX
08-23-2006, 06:33 PM
here's a link explaining FIP: http://newmanveterinary.com/fip.html

My heart goes out to you. You really did the right thing. :heart: :hug:

stitchwitch
08-23-2006, 06:34 PM
Awww, I'm sorry. You did the right thing, as hard as it was to do. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day.

wildforyarn
08-23-2006, 06:37 PM
I am so sorry for your loss. Making the right decision is almost never an easy one. You did the best for these little kittens, and your own. You would have felt must worse if you had taken the rest of the little ones back home and spread the disease to your own cats. Take care. Give your kitties and extra squeeze tonight.

chan58
08-23-2006, 06:41 PM
So sorry to hear this news, thinking of you.

jdee
08-23-2006, 07:16 PM
Thank you, everyone, for your kindness. It really means a lot to have this kind of support.

Well, I just got back home from picking up my pet carriers. I bleached them out, and set them on the porch to air out. I'm not sure if it was necessary, but I didn't want to take any chances. When I moved here, I found that I had a colony of feral cats, living in my neighborhood. Everyone was feeding them, but they kept reproducing, so my husband and I have been in the process of having them spayed and neutered as we can afford. I love having them around, but we don't especially want them to multiply into outrageous numbers. These kittens were the offspring of one of these ferals. She had moved them into our yard at a young age, so I had been working with them, so they would grow into friendly enough cats to find homes. This was a terrible blow to the soul, because we really had high hopes for these kitties. Now, I'm worried about the mama. I have got to catch her, before she becomes pregnant with another litter of possibly unhealthy kittens. The trouble is that she's extremely wild. It's really going to be a challange, but she, and one other female is all we have out there that hasn't been spayed.

Hopefully, we'll finally see our goal realized.

Thank you again for your support. It means a lot.

rebecca
08-23-2006, 07:20 PM
I'm so very sorry for your loss.......

Sissy
08-23-2006, 07:24 PM
Oh, please know you did the best thing for all of them.Its a hard decision to make , but a correct one. Just take it one day at a time........Hugs to you, Sissy

BinkyKat
08-23-2006, 07:29 PM
I'm sorry too to hear what you have to go through. I would have a hard time taking a newly acquired pet to be put to sleep when you already started to love it. I had a friend that got 3 kittens for their "farm" and she found out when they were a year old that the mother cat had died a few months before of FIP. For some reason, her vet didn't offer or advise about testing them first. She had to put one to sleep because she found that it was starting to get more ill. A few months later the next. But the last one, "Sneaky" lived for 4 yrs. She was a carrier but didnt' get ill until later. She wanted more cats but decided she would wait until Sneaky's time was up and when she started to get thin and sickly, she put her to sleep. But she was an outdoor kitty that didn't roam far from the house and she was content so they let her be. I got my cat at a "Natural Pet Center" that is a pet shop that adopts out animals like the Humane Society. They test all the cats and then I have kept Binky up on regular FIP vaccinations. He's outside only occasionally on a tie down leash but is basically an indoor cat.
It's hard to now end being compassionate and you have no choice but to be sad, then you'll feel better. I applaud that you are taking care of the feral's, it's like the cats that live on Ernest Hemingway's estate, good for you for being kind to the creatures!!!!
:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

knitaddict
08-23-2006, 07:45 PM
I will certainly be praying for you!! 10 years ago, right after we got married, dh & I adopted an 8 week old kitten. We took her to her first vet's appt shortly after and she was already in advanced stages of FIP. :( The vet said that the mother was most likely infected throughout her pregnancy & that's why it was so far along in our little Maegan Leigh. I know how you feel and will be sending out P&PT your way.

Hugs!!

Tammy6071
08-23-2006, 07:57 PM
Your such a kind and caring lady. My heart goes out to you. :heart: :heart: :heart: :hug: :hug:

figaro
08-23-2006, 08:09 PM
:hug:
I am so sorry for what you have gone through. I can relate unfortunatly. A while ago, when I was working at a certain vet's office (I would not recommend anyone taking their pet there now), he worked with the local humane society. Well, they brought in this beautful little black boy kitten. I wanted my hubby to have a cat, so after he was fixed and tested for feline luekemia 3 times, and after I had my cat vaccinated again, I brought him home. He was so full of energy and wanted Hobbes' approval, he also scratched our leather couch but that was ok as it Piet. Well, while DH was gone on a business trip, he got real sick, real fast. I took him to my new vet, and even after the testing and the vax, he was dying of leukemia. It was the saddest thing ever, I went ahead and had him put down there and cried on my way home. It still brings me a few tears but there was no choice. I think he was 6 months old when it happened.

You did the best thing for them, more than likely, if that kitten had it, the others did too. I think it is a wonderful thing that you are getting all those kitties fixed? Have you checked around, sometimes there are programs and or vets that will help out with the cost of fixing feral cats.

Good luck and know you did the right thing for those kitties.

psammeadred
08-24-2006, 07:19 PM
:hug: :hug: :hug:
I know it's hard and hurts right now, but you did the right thing.
Hoping things get better soon!

boyforpele13
08-25-2006, 01:50 AM
i am so sorry to read this. i agree with everyone. i know how difficult it was, but I believe you totally did the right thing. i can relate and i hope once the shock and initial devastation from this sad outcome has subsided a bit, that you can feel proud of the care that you did provide them and the efforts that you made. they are in a place now where they never ever have to worry again about being ill or want for anything. With my recent loss, a dear friend of mine told me he was up there telling stories at the Rainbow Bridge of the wonderful family he left behind and I know they are telling stories of the kind and loving family who helped them.

You did everything you could for them and more than many would've done and I honor and thank you for that, as I am certain those little ones do.

Take care and :hug:

geekgolightly
08-26-2006, 12:58 AM
Thank you, everyone, for your kindness. It really means a lot to have this kind of support.

Well, I just got back home from picking up my pet carriers. I bleached them out, and set them on the porch to air out. I'm not sure if it was necessary, but I didn't want to take any chances. When I moved here, I found that I had a colony of feral cats, living in my neighborhood. Everyone was feeding them, but they kept reproducing, so my husband and I have been in the process of having them spayed and neutered as we can afford. I love having them around, but we don't especially want them to multiply into outrageous numbers. These kittens were the offspring of one of these ferals. She had moved them into our yard at a young age, so I had been working with them, so they would grow into friendly enough cats to find homes. This was a terrible blow to the soul, because we really had high hopes for these kitties. Now, I'm worried about the mama. I have got to catch her, before she becomes pregnant with another litter of possibly unhealthy kittens. The trouble is that she's extremely wild. It's really going to be a challange, but she, and one other female is all we have out there that hasn't been spayed.

Hopefully, we'll finally see our goal realized.

Thank you again for your support. It means a lot.

Like with nursing, taking care of these feral cats; trying to neuter and spay them and even find them homes is a difficult task precisely because you can get your heart broken in the process. It was the right thing to do. You have limited resources, you cna only do what you can do. Be proud that you are out there. And think of how many lives you saved just by bringing those cats in and discovering that they were carriers of FIP. They will not pass it on to all the other feral cats. You can continue to do good as you can and when you can. I am so happy that there are people like you in the world who take the time to notice issues like this and then actually work towards solving the issues.

mulene
08-26-2006, 05:24 AM
what a horrid decision to have to make =( You did the right thing :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

jdee
08-26-2006, 06:39 AM
You're all so wonderful. Your words of comfort and support have really helped me a lot. It's still so strange to open the door, and not see them running up the steps to me. I guess it just takes time to heal. Just have to take it one day at a time. It's amazing how animals can find thier way into our hearts, isn't it?