View Full Version : OT: My brother
03-27-2007, 06:58 AM
Ok my brother is twentyseven years old and he is addicted to klonopin and methadone wich I know that when combined is even more dangerous he has 3 children but only 2 live with him and his girlfriend (none of them should live with him right now!) he takes a whole months worth of the pills in two days ,that is 60 tablets and he chews them up it makes him completely incoherent and just plain crazy!The other day his girlfriend took the kids out for the morning because she knew he would wake up high because the amout of the pills he takes at one time can keep him high for almost a week anyway she took the kids out and apparently he woke up and at some point and thought his oldest son was suppossed to be with him and called the police and said he was missing there were 5 police cars in front of the house when she came walking down the street with the kids!!!So his girlfriend threw him out finally (they are in a family shelter so this should have happened a long time ago)but now everyone is saying ok this is it now he will change because this event scared the you know what ot of him but I know it won't change because he is addictedmy frustration is that everyone is not on the same page about how to help him I tell my parents not to give him money for diapers or anything else but just buy them the diapers or whatever to help but they give him cash and you know what he does with that !Ok I did come here with a question and that is does anyone here know of anyone with an addiction like this that has recovered?I am losing hope because his memory is slipping and his anxiety and depression are getting the best of him.Thanks for taking the time to read this long post.
03-27-2007, 07:31 AM
What a sad scarey situation for all involved. I hope your brother can get the help he so desperately needs.
03-27-2007, 07:47 AM
I have recent family history of addiction--early recovery stage. He needs to get into treatment, first of all--the longer the better. Methadone is very difficult to kick and it takes a long time.
For your own peace of mind, check out Naranon. They have a web site with a very helpful forum, and see if there are meetings in your area. It really helps create perspective.
You can't control your brother's behavior. You didn't cause it and you can't cure it. He also can't do it on his own--not by a long shot.
Check out treatment facilities in his area, find out what kind of insurance he has (many take Medicaid) and give him the information. Support him in his recovery, not in his addiction.
It's very difficult for the entire family. :hug:
03-27-2007, 07:53 AM
:hug: I don't have much advice for you, but I know that it has to be hard for your parents to not want to take care of those grandkids. Maybe they should start buying the diapers instead of giving money for diapers...
03-27-2007, 08:21 AM
That is exactly what I told them "don't give cash give care packages" but they are still in denial a lot of the time they think if the baby needs diapers then he won't spend the money on anything else.I have a lot of guilt because I don't really have a relationship with his kids but in order for me to see the kids that means I have to expose my kids to him and I can't do that to them.My brother just moved back here from Rhode island and I thought I would be able to start building my relationship with the kids but when I do want to go visit they can never be found they only call me when he is on a major binge and they either because she just needs to vent(which is fine) or he needs money wich I don't give him but when he is high he always tries right now I just want to minimize the damage done to the kids from this mess but I can't get close enough because my brother is always demanding all the attention with this behavior we grew up with alcohlic parents but our situation never went to this extreme growing up.
I have quite a bit of experience with addiction through friends and also through family.
The hardest thing to deal with is watching someone you love self destruct. You know the beautiful parts of this person. You know how wonderful they can be and its hard to watch a tiny pill, pile of powder or pebble sized crystal be stronger than them.
But the bottom line is that tough love is the answer. You as a family have to agree to be his strength and do whats best for him because he has no strength and can not make good choices for himself. It sounds as though he needs to be commited to rehab. If HE signs himself in then HE can sign himself out. If his next of kin has him committed then the facility have more ability to hold him. At this point he is a danger to himself, his kids and his girlfriend. That needs to be addressed. Preferrably by professionals.
If you can not get him into treatment then you need to set some hard and fast rules for him such as no cash and be prepared to see him spiral downward. As hard as it is to watch, it is HIS life and HE has to be wiling to make the changes. If your parents are going to be weak and give him money, they need to understand that doing that is just as good as dumping the pills in his mouth.
Recovery is a long and hard battle. Addicts usually have to give up everything-their friends, places they go, social events.. because these are the places they find support for their habit and people who can trigger a relapse.
:hug: Its a long hard road, but it CAN be done. He just wants to have to do it.
03-27-2007, 09:06 AM
The thing is he is on probabtion and if he is using he is supposed to be put in jail but doctors keep perscribing the klonapin to him so that is not a violation and believe it or not he has to be on methadone for "drug treatment" or else that is a violation to his probation I am so mad at that because methadone has caused more problems where I am from then anything else when the soon after the clinic opened in Westbrook people started dying from taking methadone that wasn't theirs and combining it with other things methadone is a joke these clinics are in it for the money and thats it!We just had a doctor from the same clinic my brother goes to convicted to 6 months in jail for perscribing things under another doctors name . :!!!: :wall:
03-27-2007, 01:35 PM
I just saw this on MSN.com. Maybe it'll help and/or give you some info. Good luck with everything...
03-27-2007, 01:58 PM
I'm so sorry. There is nothing you can do. I know that sounds terrible. But you simply cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped. I have a great deal of experience through family and the bottom line is, you must live your life and try your best not to do anything. For most addicts, help is a way for them to manipulate people and get what they want/need. Rehab is possible and recovery can last, but only if the person is really invested and committed.
I'm so sorry. I know the incredible pain you are experiencing. The only thing you can do now, is take care of yourself. I agree with Ingrid. Get into a support group for you.
03-27-2007, 02:35 PM
You know, I didn't know about this side of methadone. On HBO this month they have a whole bunch of documentaries about addictions and one of them is a place in Maine where they treat opiate addictions with methadone. Wow, there is so much about this stuff that I just don't know. :doh: I try to keep up with all this 'cause I do work in a P.D. Ugh, it's just amazing.
I wish you the best of luck. I'm sure it's obvious...I have no opinion because I don't have enough personal experience with these issues. My story revolves more around my Mom's mental illness and alcoholism. There's so much pain and illness out there. You would think there would be more help for people that have addictions, or mental illness you know. It never effects just the one person. It really does effect the whole family.
03-27-2007, 04:18 PM
Blueeyes, I pm'd you.
03-27-2007, 04:45 PM
You guys are all so great :muah: this has been slowly eating away at me for awhile and I just need to get out the truth to people who won't judge I talk to my parents and even though they know he has a huge problem they still drink so they are in a little denial themselves and start to get defensive when I tell them like it is even though it is not their issues that I am talking about I also have a close cousin who is a crack addict we were raised like siblings so that really hurts too I just don't get how things can get this out of control for some people and not others .
03-27-2007, 05:13 PM
I pm'd you, too. :hug:
I am also in maine
my xH was a D&A councelor for years
and he relapsed about 7 years before he died (of an OD we think)
his fall into true insanity hit about the time I concieved my youngest child
if you ever need to talk, PM me
I am in Knox County (not to close to that Dr that was arrested
but when my xH was in school learning about addictions I also learned a lot by helping him study
and I had a good Alanon sobriety when he relapsed enough for me to recognize it
and that made it hardest for him to manipulate me
and in that it made it harder for him to deal with and work with me
if you need to talk
let me know
i also Chat most evenings (insomnia)
03-29-2007, 06:21 AM