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View Full Version : Help! I'm soooooo confused.


sugarfunpouch
10-17-2007, 08:22 PM
This guy asked me to be his girlfriend and I said "okay."
I am so nervous now! I'm really confused! This has never happened to me before. I don't really...ugh I don't know. Boyfriends and girlfriends just hold hands and hug, at my school, but I don't know. Sorry to bother you with my problem, I'm just really confused.
BTW: I DID talk to my mom. ;)
Thanks everyone.

Riss
10-17-2007, 08:52 PM
If it's not something you're comfortable with, then you should tell him that while you like him, maybe you're not quite ready for that next step in your relationship.

*hug* Just remember to be strong. :)

sugarfunpouch
10-17-2007, 08:58 PM
Thanks, I just don't really know how I feel... :(

HamaLee
10-17-2007, 09:06 PM
This guy asked me to be his girlfriend and I said "okay."
I am so nervous now! I'm really confused! This has never happened to me before. I don't really...ugh I don't know. Boyfriends and girlfriends just hold hands and hug, at my school, but I don't know. Sorry to bother you with my problem, I'm just really confused.
BTW: I DID talk to my mom. ;)
Thanks everyone.

If you want to hold hands with him and hug, then hold hands and hug and enjoy it.cloud9 But if you're not comfortable with that, or with the label and expectation of being boyfriend/girlfriend, that's ok. You can tell him that and if he's a nice guy he'll understand. And if he's not--well, he's a jerk and you don't need that.

If you think you might like him or want to get used to the idea, see if you can hang out with him in groups...like a group date. Go bowling or something with a group of friends and you can hold hands but still be in a comfortable social situation. Do whatever feels right for you.

I'm glad you talked to your mom:hug: I hope she gave you good advice. And I also hope that this is the start of a fun relationship with your mom--where you get to share your crushes and romantic inclinations with her in a way that's safe and special and makes you both feel like this::teehee::aww::mrgreen::inlove:

Let us know how you're feeling! :thumbsup:

iza
10-17-2007, 09:09 PM
:hug: It's normal to be confused! It's a big step. What's important is that you feel respected and that you go at your own pace. You CAN be clear about what you want and don't want. And most of all, you are allowed to change your mind!:muah:No matter what you decide, it's all about expressing yourself clearly, and respectfully.

(You know, even "old people" can be confused in these moments too! ;) )

sugarfunpouch
10-17-2007, 09:11 PM
Awww...thanks HamaLee! That really helped!
It was kind of funny actually, he asked me before lunch, I'm usually sooo hungry, but I was still shocked, so I couldn't eat. THAT'S THE FIRST TIME THAT HAS HAPPENED!!!!
I'm always hungry! LOL!

sugarfunpouch
10-17-2007, 09:13 PM
Thanks iza! You guys are great!
(In case for some reason I can't thank all of you, thanks now.) :)

HamaLee
10-18-2007, 08:59 AM
...but I was still shocked, so I couldn't eat. THAT'S THE FIRST TIME THAT HAS HAPPENED!!!!
I'm always hungry! LOL!

:teehee: I know EXACTLY what you mean!

msoebel
10-18-2007, 09:55 AM
First boyfriends are important. You're always going to remember him. I think the most important thing you can do at your age is remember to be friends first and boyfriend/girlfriend second.

That way, no matter what happens, it will turn out okay. Because you will both be good to your friend...And keep talking to your mom. She knows you better than anyone and she can give you great advice. She's been there before.

I hope that this turns out to be something really nice for you.

Sharly
10-18-2007, 10:32 AM
Hey Sugar!

You are a very mature girl! I'm glad that you have talked to your Mom, and that you trust your older (and, hopefully wiser) friends here at KH! I think the advice you've gotten so far is right on target! Just have fun, don't bow to pressure of any kind, and as long as you enjoy each other's company, it's okay to be girlfriend/boyfriend.

Take care!!

Jan in CA
10-18-2007, 11:42 AM
I'm really glad you talked to your mom.

It's okay to have a boyfriend, but don't rush things and don't let him or anyone else pressure you to do something you aren't comfortable with. At 12 yrs old you still have lots of time and lots of learning left. :hug:

letah75
10-18-2007, 12:12 PM
Hi,

I think all of the advice is wonderful! And great thing you talking to your mom. I think it's so great that you can discuss important life events with her. So many people don't have that type of relationship with their parents. I can tell you from experience, that will help you out in the long run!

Also I wanted to add, trust your gut, be yourself, and be vocal. Never be afraid to speak your peace.

rachejm
10-18-2007, 12:43 PM
First boyfriends are confusing!!! Just do what you feel comfortable with, don't let anyone pressure you into anything and enjoy it. If you don't feel ready just explain that to him.

Its really great that you can talk to your mom about these things. I don't know what I'd do without mine, I've been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years now and I still get confused. I firmly believe that moms give the best advice because they know you best and chances are have already been there.

I shall stop there because I'm currently living away from home for University and I'm getting tearful. Kinda silly since I'm going home on Saturday anyway.

GinnyG
10-18-2007, 12:52 PM
If you have to ask the question then the answer is no, you aren't ready.

sugarfunpouch
10-18-2007, 07:07 PM
Thanks everyone your advice makes me feel a lot better! Things have been okay so far, hoping it will stay that way. I am kind of young, but know better not to give in to peer pressure and stuff. I dare to be different and I'm loving every minute of it!

Knitting_Guy
10-19-2007, 11:40 PM
You should ask him for his resume and make sure he's qualified.

jeanius80
10-19-2007, 11:52 PM
Yay sugar :) Just Be yourself! :)
I too am so glad you are close and comfortable with your mom :heart: Thats just about better than most boyfriends anyway ;)

sugarfunpouch
10-20-2007, 06:59 PM
LOL Mason. I see the winter beard is done growing, or is it? Thanks jeanius80!!!

ChrissyB
10-20-2007, 08:54 PM
How fun!! I have to agree with what everyone said about it being great you talked to your mom and are being yourself. I would add, have fun (and I don't mean do something silly, or that makes you uncomfortable), just enjoy yourself. I never had boyfriends, or dates, or much fun when I was young because I was too nervouse and shy, and I wish I had just relaxed a little!! So have fun, it goes by fast!!! Before you know it you will be months away from 30!!! :roflhard:

sugarfunpouch
10-20-2007, 11:38 PM
LOL!! That's what my mom says! (About the 30 thing. Except she says it's 40! :rofl:)

Jenn_Knitter
10-21-2007, 01:40 PM
I guess I'm curious to know if this is a guy you know and were friends with before he asked you to be his girlfriend. I had a boyfriend at twelve and I look back on it now and I kind of regret that I let it get so serious at such a young age. I mean, we didn't do anything really "bad", but I let the "relationship" consume my life. I lost all my friends, I lied to my parents. But it lasted for six months, which is forever and a day in pre-teen years ;)

I think it is awesome you talked it over with your mom. I always had a real open relationship with my mom too and it's amazing. I would say regardless of what any of us advise you to do, stick with your mom's advice and what your common sense tells you is the right way to handle all of this. I don't know how boyfriends and girlfriends interact in junior high schools these days. I know back when I was in junior high, couples were not allowed to show public displays of affection (no hugs, hand holding, kissing, etc.) I'm sure a lot of kids got away with it, but if the teacher or another school administrator saw you, you got in trouble.

But there are lots of fun things you can do, like do homework together or go out with a group of friends. We used to play minature golf a lot. Haha do putt-putt courses still exist? I haven't seen one since I was in high school.

Anyway, keep level-headed, listen to your mom and just take it one day at a time. And have fun!

sugarfunpouch
10-21-2007, 04:44 PM
Yeah, we were friends. I know my friends are waaaay more important than boyfriends though! At our school, the PDA is no kissing. The hugging and holding hands is okay. (My school is a great one, but not in the best area. Some of the girls are soooo involved with their boyfriends it scares me!!
They still have mini golf! I love that game!