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auburnchick
10-29-2007, 12:17 PM
A conversation with my daughter prompted the topic for this thread...

This morning, my daughter and I were having a conversation (yes, it was actually civil, for a change). Somehow, we got started talking about parents and embarrasing things they do.

Anyhow, she told me that the most embarrassing thing I've done to her was when I barked at her from the sideline at one of her soccer games this summer. I guess I was a little enthusiastic since it was one of her first games back since having knee surgery. History of the barking: One of her teammates from a different team has this dad who is hilarious...redneck and all (you know...I'm from the south). He barks at the girls, and it is so funny. When I mentioned that to her this morning, she said, "Well, you aren't Mr. So-and-so. It's not funny when you do it." One of her teammates brought it up this weekend when they were playing (I wasn't there). My daughter said she told her friend that I don't do that anymore...she had "taken care of it." :roflhard:

Now, I have three stories about my mom.

My mom is French-Canadian, and although she's lived in America for a long time, she still thinks French, which was a double curse as a teenager.

One summer, we went to France to visit family. The French say, "Voila" for different things. She came home saying that...ALL THE TIME! In front of friends, oy! It must have taken her a year or more to get that word out of her vocabulary. I mean, people in south Alabama do not go around saying "Voila."

Now, second story...We were at Six Flags one time, and we were on the raft ride where you get all wet. She decided that she didn't feel like getting wet, so she pulled out her umbrella...in the middle of the ride, and opened it!!!!! I was mortified! People who were not on the ride were pointing at us. In my effort to grab the umbrella (and stop the madness), I pushed her, and she nearly poked out my step-dad's eye. Oh my goodness!!! :chair:

Third story: Mom seemed unable to control her bodily functions (or chose not to...more likely) when out in public, so she would poot in stores while we were shopping. Not cool, mom. Needless to say, I don't enjoy shopping to this day.

So, share you stories!!! Give me a laugh! I need it...I'm working on two very long papers for school.

Itsabtme
10-29-2007, 01:17 PM
I have two....

When I was about 14, I would say, I was walking through the mall with my mom. I saw a group of "cool kids" and decided that I no longer wanted to be seen with my mom. When I "strayed", she caught up to me and BIT me on my shoulder right in front of those kids.....sigh.....I wanted to die!

When I was in jr high, my dad was the local fire chief. My dad had a full-size pick-up with lights & siren, a roll bar....the whole 9yds....but the cincher was the noise maker that he had on his exhaust. Um, you can only imagine how mortified I was when I missed the bus and he had to take me to school and drop me off when the rest of the kids were getting off the bus......AND HE REVVED HIS ENGINE! OMG! I still feel the pain and that was at least 25 years ago. I never missed the bus again!:aww:

KnittingNat
10-29-2007, 01:39 PM
My dad has something about waving his hands while driving, trying to dance or something. He does that when he's driving me somewhere (rarely now, since i moved out more than 3 years ago), just to show that he's glad to see me. He does something similar to this smiley::woot:, just without the shouting thing. That being not enough probably to embarrass me in public, he does that to my DH too, just to show how much he missed him too and he does that on traffic lights. YES, with everyone staring who's driving that slow Subaru while waving his hands around.:passedout:

stitchwitch
10-29-2007, 02:40 PM
I have alot of them, but none of them are really funny.

marykz
10-29-2007, 02:46 PM
when I was a teen, just *having* parents was embarassing... lol... I remember my Dad would make anyone who came to pick me up for something come inside the house and meet him. no just pulling up in the driveway and beeping the horn. Boy or girl, date or shopping trip. if it was a boy, he'd be sooooo gruff and mean I'd just want to DIE! LOL- I'm so glad now that he did that stuff. I always knew it was because he loved me, but at the time.....

debinoz
10-29-2007, 04:17 PM
Since I NEVER embarrass my children I don't have any of those stories to tell ;)
But, one time when I was about 6 or 7 my mom got mad at me and whooped my behind with a belt. It was one of those long skinny things with holes all the way down. I don't really remember the spnking itself, but do remember a little while later when my pants had slid down a little, there was a welt on my upper butt. Mom, seeing it went almost into hysterics and yanked my pants down. I had criss-crossing welts with perfect little round marks in the middle all over my behind. So Mom being Mom, crying hyterically, called her friends, she called my grandparents, she called the neighbors she knew...... they all came over to "take a look" at what she had done to her baby. I wouldn't have minded her just telling them, but everytime someone walked through the door, she'd yank my pants down and show them. All of them hugging HER up and telling her it would be okay....

letah75
10-29-2007, 04:53 PM
My dad is red/green color blind. Now that in itself is not embarassing, but when he wears maroon pants brown socks and a black shirt (swearing the whole time all three items are the same color black) and you are a teenager its embarassing enough. To top it off, when you try to say something to him (in front of your friends) like, "Hey dad, I keep telling you those pant are maroon, why do you wear them?" and his response (in front of your friends) is, "Is that why I keep having to dig them out of the garbage can? Are you or your mother throwing them away?" Man oh man I wanted to die because my friends new my dad when dumpster diving for his pants (multiple times).

Ok, BF would kill me if he knew I was posting this. The other day he picked up Little Jr. for the weekend. They stopped at McDonald's on the way home. Apparently all of the McNuggets weren't eaten and still in the box, which in turn was in the bag (along with the toy from the happy meal). I guess BF wasn't paying attention and threw the bag away in the house garbage. Well a few hours later he wanted the McNuggets, and searched and searched the house for the bag. What lead him to look in the garbage I don't know, but he found them and since they were in a box in a bag he decided they must still be good. So he commenced eating them. Little Jr. stood there with his mouth hanging open, and with all his 6 year old disgust said at the top of his lungs, "EEEEWWWWW Daddy!!!! You're eating GARBAGE!" Well BF swore both Little Jr. and myself to secrecy, but Little Jr. apparently couldn't keep this to himself. So sure enough we went to my friend's house the next day and Little Jr. mentioned, "Daddy ate McGarbage yesterday! It was gross!" BF was embarrased.

I took my friend's daughter (3 yrs old) to Michaels for some yarn shopping. Now her Mommy had just gotten a....ehem....enhancement. Now myself, I am in NO need of enhancement. So we're yarn shopping, the one day that Michael's is packed and for some reason every man in town is shopping there (this was before BF was in the picture). Anywoo, my friends daughter says (of course loud enough to sound like she'd highjacked the PA system), "Is this the store where Mommies buy BOOBS?!?!?!?!?!" So of course everyone looks at me, I turn red like a crimson tide and stammer "No honey, this is a craft store, we buy projects here." She responds with "Well I want to go to the BOOB store so that I can look like a big girl like YOU!"

Another time I was holding her (she was about 2yrs at this time) and we were again in an abnormally busy store where about every man in town was standing right in front of me. She all of a sudden puts her hand on my breast and says in that loud squeeky little girl voice eyes wide "WOW auntie, you got BIIIIIG ONES!" yeah, needless to say, we quickly left the store, as 4 or 5 guys were laughing so hard they had tears coming out of their eyes, and another guy was saying "Amen sister". AAARRRRGGHHH!

Oh I have soooo many more.

stitchwitch
10-29-2007, 05:06 PM
I don't have kids but my best friend has three boys. A couple of years ago we all went to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays game (baseball), it's an indoor stadium. About half way through, the middle boy aged 5 has to go to the bathroom, Les (her hubby) takes him and all is good except when they were coming down the stadium stairs back to our seats. Matt (5 year old) yells at the top of his lungs in the middle of the game "I have diarrhea!!!!!!!". I swear at that point all noise ceased and we were now in the spotlight. Les and Matt made it back to our seats and we just sat there facing ahead afraid to laugh. Les decides we should bail out of that section because people are laughing at us and we all decide at the count of three we are leaving and moving to another area. We get up and start to move when someone in back of us yells "you can run but you can't hide, we'll still see you over there!!!" An entire section of fans started laughing at us. :roflhard:

jjminarcik
10-29-2007, 05:51 PM
What a great thread!!!!

My story encorporates my parents and brothers. When I met DH and knew he was "the one", he came to visit for a weekend (he lived in another state) to meet my family. He had met my parents, but not my older brothers and their wives. We're all from the south and they're a little, um, redneck, but not in an extreme way. We went to my oldest brothers house for a bbq, we're hanging out on the back porch talking and having some drinks, no big deal. Then my bro decides to put on some music. He brings out his boombox thingy and puts in a cd of Rodney Carrington's "Ti**ies and Beer". :noway: Thankfully, DH thought it was funny.

THEN - yes, it gets worse. After a few more drinks my bros start to get a little more crazy. They brought out this fake, um, male anatomy that was HUGE! And it looked so REAL! (It was part of a Halloween costume from years ago - long story) No big deal, right? Well one of my bros put it in his pants and it was hanging out through his zipper, which was actually funny. :roflhard: But since this is the first time DH is meeting my family, I am completely mortified. The bad part was that my bros told my parents they were going to do all of this to try to embarass me. So, I'm left in the dark about all of this until it actually happens. Needless to say, I was extremely ticked. At least now we can laugh about it - and me and DH got married, so I'm glad he stuck around!

Oh, and about the fake male anatomy? My two nieces and nephew got a hold of it and kept running around for the rest of the night hitting each other with it. :roflhard::roflhard::roflhard:

iza
10-29-2007, 06:16 PM
:teehee: Love that thread!

When I wanted to introduce my boyfriend to my parents, it was a bit complicated. My family is French-speaking, and at the time my "anglo" boyfriend couldn't speak French very well. So instead of a long dinner thing at my parents' house, I decided to go for a brunch on a Sunday morning in a restaurant.

The restaurant we were going to was literally 5 minutes away from my appartment by walk. But my mom hates to walk. :roll: So she begs my dad to take the car. Ok... so we take the car, get to the restaurant and of course, no parking spot... the only parking we found was... in my street, we could almost see my house. :shock: I could see my boyfriend desperately trying not to laugh. And my dad of course is like "haha look we're almost back to your place". My mom, who has NO idea of where she is, says "Oh yeah? that's where you live? Wow it's very close!" :shock: My boyfriend still laughs at that one. :teehee:

auburnchick
10-29-2007, 06:29 PM
I'm sitting in my house, alone in my den, and laughing my head off! Y'all's stories are funny!!!

:roflhard::roflhard::roflhard:

Got another story...

My daughter is in high school, and she seems to be very good "friends" with one of the guys who plays on the boys' soccer team. She wanted to walk with him out to his car the other night after a booster club meeting. I call for my hubby and tell him to follow her...it's dark...I'm not keen on the boyfriend thing...not encouraging it one bit. DH looks at me like :whoosh:So I make him go. He sits on a picnic bench outside while our daughter helps the kid carry stuff to the car. She "talks" to me after we leave and explains how embarrassing that was. I tell her it's nothing compared to when we go with her on her first date. :teehee:

She's like :whoosh:...

No sense of humor, that young one... ;)

CindyS
10-29-2007, 07:32 PM
I know that once in a crowded drug store while waiting online--I guess I was probably 7 or 8--I spotted an ad with a term I didn't know. So I asked my mother very loudly, "Mommy, what's jock itch?" Yeah.

A few weeks ago my DD who is also 8 went with me to the Moonlight Madness sale at AC Moore. While in the knitting aisle with only two or three other people I was teasing her about something and she tried to say "It's not my fault!"--again, rather loudly (is there any other volume when you're 8?)--and accidentally came out with "It's not my fart!" The other shoppers and I found it much more amusing than she did.

stitchwitch
10-29-2007, 09:19 PM
My neighbors across the street have two little boys. The oldest at the time was around 5 or 6 anyway he was going through some sort of naked phase where he would just dump his clothes off for no apparent reason. It happened twice or so in front of us and I know she wanted to just die. The first time she was washing her car and we were outside planting, the boy just took his shorts off and was running around the car naked while she tried to corral him. The second time, we were outside taking out garbage and he opened their front door and ran outside stark naked while making some weird noise. Of course we had to look because of the noise. Funniest part was there were some people looking at a house for sale a couple of houses away that saw the whole thing, they didn't buy the house. I think he's outgrown it now but my husband always says we'll see him at halftime someday during a football game. :roflhard:

auburnchick
10-29-2007, 10:51 PM
I remember one time when my children were little...maybe 5 and 3, that we went to the grocery store so I could buy some contraceptives. Of course, I was already self-conscious about it, so when my daughter started questioning me about the "item," I try to ignore her. Wrong thing to do with a youngster. "Mama, what's that...what's that you're holding, but what is it for..." Young boy bagging my three items discreetly puts it in a small paper sack, but my dd is getting louder and insisting on holding the bag. Uh, no, I don't think so...I can just picture her dropping it or pulling it out of the bag. On and on until we get in the car, when she asks for the upteenth time. I finally turn to her and say, "That's stuff to make Mommy not have any more babies." She looked at me so innocently and asked, "But why don't you want more babies." Subject changed. Why, or why didn't I just answer her the first time!! :teehee:

pjsbabybj
10-29-2007, 11:54 PM
I am new here, but am REALLY enjoying this thread.

I don't have kids, but I remember mortifying my Mother in church once. I was always bad to get into her purse in search of chewing gum and/or whatever else I could find. One Sunday in particular (mind you this was 30 years ago)....... I proceeded to pull out a pantyliner and lay it on the pew. I thought is was just a tissue......needless to say I wasn't allowed in her purse at church anymore:teehee:

Songbirdy
10-30-2007, 12:49 AM
The church one reminded me of one that happened when I was in church once.

We were all sitting in the pew on a hot summer afternoon. My Dad and 2 youngest brothers were the farthest away, then my mother, my closest youngest brother and then I. It was a hot sticky day and there was no such thing as air conditioning.

My brother and I weren't sitting the best, and had already received 2 or 3 under arm pinches. Those are the kind that have the slightest bit of skin but hurt like... Anyhow...

My brother didn't sit still. So my mother reached over and gently poked his leg.

My brother thought it was a fly and kind of flicked at his leg and continued wiggling. So my mother leaned over and gave him a harder poke.

My brother again, flicked at his leg.

This repeated several times each time, my mother poked harder and my brother swatted back. The thing was my brother was intently listening to something and not paying any attention at all.

Meanwhile I am getting closer and closer to bursting into laughter.

Finally my mother had more than enough and she reached over and pinched my brother's leg.

Well, my brother raised his arm right up and SLAP!!! whacked his leg. He then promptly burst into tears because... well he hit himself very hard.

I then burst into laughter and near hysterical laughter. And when my mother reached over to give me the what for... I fell off the pew, still roaring in laughter.

She went after us to 'SHHsh!'

My brother and I quickly left the pew and church and decided that it was best we walk home. We didn't stick around for Mom!

Anyhow... by the time she got home, we were on level whatever of Mario Bros, and she had forgiven us the whole incident...

Miss Moosey
10-30-2007, 10:28 AM
My father is a theoretical physicist.

Consequently, many of my embarrassing moments involve him overenthusiastically lecturing either my friends or me in the presence of my friends about something odd/we don't really care about.

Past lecture topics have included (and remember, some of these lectures were given to me and my friends when we were still in kindergarten):

*How properly holding one's golf club during miniature golfing will increase torque.

*How rainbows are really 360 degree circles.

*The patterns formed in a sandbox by the wind. Fascinating.

*Why the moon is higher in the sky in the winter than in the summer.

*How agitating a container filled to the brim with, say M&M's, will cause the broken bits to go to the bottom and create more space at the top of the container (really! This lecture I actually appreciated because my mother had to approve the amount of dessert I ate every night, so I'd shake my little cup of M&M's vigorously so it would appear that I took less than I actually did!)

*Why a frisbee will stabilize better when it is thrown at a higher velocity.

*How melted snow, oil, and salt form really neat patterns in the street.

*Why ice skating is not truly a frictionless activity.

*Why, due to the principles of particle dispersion, you don't really need to stir Crystal Light to mix it with water.


:oops: Oy gevalt! I love my dad dearly, but some days I wish he had a normal profession, like an insurance salesman.


Rebecca

auburnchick
10-30-2007, 10:53 AM
Miss Moosey,

:passedout:

Sounds like he could be the guy on the show Numbers! :teehee:

iza
10-30-2007, 11:16 AM
Miss Moosey, as a physicist myself, I must say I think your dad is awesome! But maybe it's a good thing my boyfriend and I don't have kids... :teehee: My boyfriend is also a scientist, can you imagine having 2 parents like that? :roflhard:

marykz
10-30-2007, 11:19 AM
LOL- Iza I was thinking the same thing- then Oh yeah, DH and I ARE both scientists. Kayleigh doesn't have a prayer........ I, personally, think all those things in Ms moosey's post are fascinating.... but not to your average teen.....

Dad reminded me that once he took me to the store when I was 4, I looked at the lady in front of us in line and announced "Dad! That lady isn't wearing a bra!!!"

in a separate visit, my little sister pinched some lady's behind- and the lady thought it was Dad....... LOL.....

msoebel
10-30-2007, 12:01 PM
Well, I am the mother who dances to "muzak" in the store...so my dd has a long life of embarassment in front of her. At 4 yrs old, she thinks it's cool that I dance down the aisle (I love World Market stores for the SALSA music:) ), but I know it's already coming to an end. If one of her little friends is with us, she puts her hands up over her eyes and then grabs my hand, yanking me down to her level and whispers, "MOOOOOOOOOOM. STOP!"

On the other hand...she has been known to embarass mommy too. Like when she was potty training and didn't want to go when we were at a certain bookstore. I told her in my best mommy voice that she most certainly was going to to (she was making the poopy face!) and dragged her to the restroom. When we got there and got locked into the stall, she proceeded to start yelling, "OW! I don't want to! You're hurting me! Stop it! You're not my mommy! I don't know you! Let me go back to my real mommy!":oops: She was 2 at the time...

And then of course...there was my mom. The woman who yelled at me in the 8th grade in the middle of the mall food court because I was 5 minutes late meeting her. I was with my friends and I will never forget how embarassed I was that a.) my mom was a psycho and b.) my mother made me HOLD HER HAND while she walked me through the mall.

I have lots more stories...but most of them only seemed embarassing at the time because I was a teenager. And really, parents can't do anything that WON'T embarass you at that age.:wink:

stitchwitch
10-30-2007, 12:12 PM
Ha! I just thought of one my mom and I accidently did to my brother.
We had been swimming in the pool and for whatever reason I can't remember now we came through the garage and took our suits off in the laundry room. We then proceeded to walk through the laundry room, the living room and to our bedrooms to get dressed stark naked. No big deal, it was just my mom and I or so I thought. As I passed the family room my brother and his girlfriend were sitting there in shock having seen my naked mother walk by and then me. I found my mom and about yanked her arm off and asked her why she didn't tell me that Pauline (I can't believe I remember her name 30 years later!) and my brother were in the family room, she had no idea either and about died right there of embarrassment. My mom and I hid until they left which was soon afterward. :roflhard: The girl never came back and to this day my brother still thinks we did it on purpose to get rid of her.

KnittingNat
10-30-2007, 12:50 PM
When i was about 4 years old, i went with my dad to the store, it was hot and he wanted to get a beer. It was still USSR then, so there was a line, of course. And then I, in front of everyone, announced: "Now Daddy is going to drink beer and get drunk again!". And my dad is really NOT the drinking type. He was really embarrassed :teehee:

HamaLee
10-30-2007, 01:26 PM
:rofl:

When we were little (3, 4, 5 ish) my brothers got bored and rummaged through my mom's bathroom to find things to play with. Soon enough they were running through the house playing "war" using maxi pads stuck all over their shirts as "shields" and popping tampons out at each other as "guns."

A couple of my aunts were over, I'm sure, and knowing them now...I'm sure they were all too busy laughing their butts off to be embarrassed. :teehee:

Abbily
10-30-2007, 01:39 PM
I can't think of anything I've done to embarass my kids :yet:, but they're only 3 and 5...

ME, on the other hand.... the worst I can think of right now is when my dad took me shopping for a formal dress when I was in 8th grade (a girl at the school had a FORMAL end of school party at a hotel?!?!) anyway, I told the sales girl what I was looking for, and she said there was this really nice black dress with buttons down the front that she thought would look great on me, but that she couldn't wear it because she was too flat chested. My dad looked her UP and DOWN and said, "I wouldn't say that!" I just wanted to drop through the floor right then and there....

iza
10-30-2007, 02:06 PM
My mom told me something I did to her when I was a baby... She was shopping with her sister, and in one store she sat me on the counter while she was paying, and she didn't notice there were candies near me. She puts me back in the stroller and goes back to shopping. A while later she checks on me and notices my face is COMPLETELY red. She starts freaking out, and has no idea what's going on. My aunt says "her face is all sticky!" Sure enough, suddenlly they see what's in my little hand, a big red lollipop. :teehee: My mom went back to the store to pay for it, but the owner of the store thought it was so cute he said not to bother. :teehee: My mom said she was really embarassed! And I guess that makes me a criminal! :shock:

mrsgrumblebum
10-30-2007, 11:55 PM
I remember one time when my mum took me and my sister to the movies I was about 9 ish, I'm 42 now,she made me wear my pink T shirt that had a picture of a cat face on it, like just eyes nose mouth whiskers and a big smiley face. Well I needed to go to the toilet so my mum let me go by myself and when I came back into the movie theatre the whole cinema erupted into laughter I then realized that the cat face glowed in the dark and all everyone coulds see was the face and everyone was laughing at me.
I was so embarrassed I hated the tshirt after that



Another time when I was small or so the story has been told to me many times over especially to my girls as they started to grow up, apparently I was a bugger of a kid, mum was out shopping with my aunty and I was in the stroller so I was about 2, mum and aunty stopped to look at something and I just climbed out of the stroller and went into a different shop, mum and aunty started to look for me calling my name i started to wave back at them through the front display window I was trying to climb the shelves that were loaded with crystal. I think my mum died a thousand deaths that day. Luckily nothing was broken much to everyones dismay.



One about my middle daughter at the time was 3, who is 20 now.
we were at the local general store and I was just buying the bread milk etc. We left the store and were half way home , I looked in the revision mirror to see her eating a chocolate bertie beetle. So I turned around and went back to the shop and made my daughter explain to the owner what she had done and to top it off the owners husband was the local police officer. I made him give her a talk about how bad it was to steal. I was soooo embarressed.

Knitting_Guy
10-31-2007, 12:22 AM
I guess Mom showing nekked baby pics to my dates would be about it.

dakatzmeow
10-31-2007, 12:26 AM
my dad answered the door to my very first date with a machete in one hand and the honing strop in the other. there was a shotgun behind the door too.:aww:

sorantes123
10-31-2007, 06:16 AM
I was about 8 when my dad fell at work (he was a butcher) and ground up his right index finger to the first knuckle in a meat grinder.That was gross! But what was worse... everytime I had friends over for years after he would stick that finger either to his ear or at his nose and make funny faces. I wanted to DIE of embarassment every time . After I had kids they always wanted to know how far his finger went into his ear,etc. Thats kids for ya. Sharon

auburnchick
10-31-2007, 06:55 PM
I remembered another thing my mom did that really, really embarrassed me when I was younger.

We lived in a tiny town (one stoplight) and went to school in an even tinier town (no stop lights). So, everyone knew each other. One day, on the way to drop my sister off at school, we passed some boys who were walking to school -- two brothers -- mean as heck. One of them shot us a bird. Well, my mom saw him do it, and she makes a U-turn immediately and pulls up to them and rolls down her window. She proceeds to chew them up and down, inside out. It was brutal...with them denying they did it. She then makes another U-turn and drops off my sister at school. Fortunately, I was in a different "campus" (k-5 in one building, 6-12 in another one a block away). My poor sister was in the same grade as the younger brother (one class per grade...very small school, you know).

I wound up being best friends with the older brother, even marrying his cousin (who was not from there, by the way). They swear, to this day, that they did not do that. It makes for a great story at family gatherings, though. It should be known, though, that these brothers (there was a much younger third, but the first two were 13 months apart) were notorious for being very bad...

:teehee: