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View Full Version : What's wrong with me this Christmas?


Ronda
12-10-2007, 01:36 PM
I'm just not in the Christmas mood, which is so totally NOT like me. I don't know if it's 20 years of in-law problems or my age or the commercialism or the demands of the entire month or what, but I'm just not looking forward to Christmas. I usually decorate a lot, but this year I put a tree up with lights and plum-colored bulbs only. No ornaments. Nothing on the walls. No outside lights. No nothing. I grumbled while I Christmas shopped on Saturday (that could be due to the rude shoppers, though). I can't wait for Christmas to be OVER.

Knitting_Guy
12-10-2007, 01:48 PM
You've probably just caught a humbug.

stitchwitch
12-10-2007, 01:53 PM
:???: I'm not feelin' the holiday season because it's so hot here. I need a little winter to get me in the mood. The decorations are up, etc. but I'm sitting here in shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops and it's 88 degrees out. Kinda makes for some bah humbugginess.

Doublereeder2
12-10-2007, 01:57 PM
We were like that last year. Minimal decorations, just not in the mood. It's okay. Sometimes life's stresses take away some of the joy we usually feel. Just do whatever you need to to make yourself and your family feel good and leave it at that.

Good wishes to you....

jjminarcik
12-10-2007, 02:08 PM
I'm with you, Ronda. I think it is the commericalism of Christmas that bothers me so much. This is the first holiday season that I have actually taken a step back from the decorations and the excessive shopping.

Not to mention like Stitchwitch said, it's been really hot here :hot: in Houston, so writing in Christmas cards just doesn't seem right!

knitncook
12-10-2007, 03:09 PM
We quit "doing Christmas" a couple of years ago because of all the commercialism. We opted for a few years of just not doing anything that resembled the commercial US Christmas. We started baking for friends rather than buying gifts (much more appreciated than a box of shower smellies) and quit buying each other gifts. For Christmas we go hiking out in the woods and come home and have soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. Last year we "decked our halls with boughs of holly" cut from our own holly trees outside and put them around the house. We decided we much prefered NOT giving (and getting) presents. We buy things for each other all year as little momentos of how we feel. If someone needs pj's I buy them pj's instead of waiting until Christmas to give them as gifts. We purchase an animal throught Heiffer each year as well as our gift to the world. This year I'm vowing to have a "Chines free year" so that rules out many many things I would normally buy this time of year. I'm trying to be conscious of where my products are coming from.

People may call us Scrooges or "Bah Humbugs" but we sure are happier not fighting the crowds for sales, not being disappointed by poor gift choices and not spending money on things we dont' need or want anyway. It's helped us to refocus on each other and our world. I'm not lecturing. I know for many people the gift giving and decorations and trims and feasts are all very important to help them celebrate their holiday. But for us it seemed like so much waste (of time, money and resources.) We also aren't Christian, so it was mostly a secular celebration anyway.

We do celebrate Yule but all our gifts are either things we have made (hats and mittens this year from me) or supplies to create our crafts.

northernlights
12-10-2007, 03:17 PM
The years that I've had less enthusiasm for Christmas have been years when I've had too much on my plate (self-induced). Try picking out those things that you really enjoy and also build in some quiet time. I remember one year I didn't do any Christmas cards--I thought life wouldn't go on unless I did Christmas cards. After Christmas I sent cards to people I wanted to keep in touch with. It worked out fine. We work so hard at making holidays perfect, that we forget to enjoy them. Give yourself permission to do things that you enjoy and take time to enjoy them.

Ronda
12-10-2007, 03:27 PM
You've probably just caught a humbug.

:roflhard:

Ronda
12-10-2007, 03:29 PM
:???: I'm not feelin' the holiday season because it's so hot here. I need a little winter to get me in the mood. The decorations are up, etc. but I'm sitting here in shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops and it's 88 degrees out. Kinda makes for some bah humbugginess.

Yea, that would make it hard to get in that Christmasy feeling. :D

Chikky
12-10-2007, 09:38 PM
:???: I'm not feelin' the holiday season because it's so hot here. I need a little winter to get me in the mood. The decorations are up, etc. but I'm sitting here in shorts, a t-shirt and flip flops and it's 88 degrees out. Kinda makes for some bah humbugginess.

Trade ya. I always say I have absolutely NO problem with Christmas lights on palm trees. ;)

inkaholic
12-10-2007, 10:23 PM
Honestly, the commercialism of Christmas always gets me really down, too. I have a thing with my boyfriend that whenever we give each other gifts for birthdays, holidays, anniverseries, whatever, at least part of it has to be made by us. Which doesn't mean that it has to be knitted or crafted; he's a computer programmer and he's made cute programs for me before, or last year for Valentine's day he made me an internet scavenger hunt to find a letter he wrote to me. When we start a family, I hope to keep that tradition. Knitncook, people may call you "humbugs" but I think your Christmases sound really nice anyway.

SabrinaJL
12-10-2007, 10:35 PM
Not feeling the Christmas love here either. I know why though. We just moved back to San Diego (soooo not xmas weather here), and my husband couldn't get leave during that time period. So we don't get to spend it with our families.

misha rf
12-10-2007, 10:46 PM
I've been feeling much the same way. Most of my neighborhood looks like a holiday p*ssing contest. Someone puts up some lights, the person across the street puts up more, the person up the street puts up even more, and then before you know it, the first person's feeling like they've got to do even more and have gone totally overboard. Lather, rinse, repeat. You come around one bend at night (there are no streetlights in my neighborhood, so it's usually quite dark) and just about burn your retinas from all the white lights. Doesn't put me in the best of moods. We still haven't put up any decorations, or our tree. I've done some of the shopping, and most of the cards, but I'm still not really feeling it. I've just come to accept that some years are like this for me, since this isn't the first Christmas where I've felt blah.

Shandeh
12-10-2007, 10:54 PM
My Christmases are usually so busy that I don't have time to enjoy them. I have a lot of work at church as the organist, because Christmas is one of the busiest times of the year there. Easter is crazy too, so I just hang on from November until April to see it through.

Christmas Eve is always spent playing music at church, so I don't really relax and enjoy the holiday until Christmas morning. And then, I'm too exhausted to really like it. My hubby usually drives to see his parents (I'm allergic to their 5 cats), and I usually get visits from my sons, then go to my parents house to see them. Then, my hubby and I have Christmas night together.

He only gets Christmas day off, since he's a restaurant manager. And that day is spent travelling to and from his parent's house. So, I don't think he really gets to enjoy it either.

I think I enjoy the quiet time AFTER Christmas more than the actual holiday.

PurlyGyrl
12-11-2007, 05:06 PM
Ronda, I'm right there with you. Christmas is so stressful around my house. I'll be so glad when its January and I can :passedout:

Eloewien
12-12-2007, 01:42 AM
I'm the same way this year. Partly the warm weather (near 80 when last week it was snowing)... partly knowing I have to work christmas eve and christmas... partly that I don't get to see family. It's all got me pretty down and moody. I dunno.... just can't get into the christmas mood this year

GinnyG
12-12-2007, 06:01 AM
I think more people DON'T like the Holiday than do. I dread it EVERY YEAR. December is a month long stressapaloza that I would LOVE to manage to forget. But somehow it always comes around again.

My Children are far away and don't make it home for the holidays, so I start the month in a frenzy of trying to get boxes of gifts off to them. I love and adore my children but like many Moms I'm not sure they really appreciate what I do for them.

DH's children are in the state, I am not close with them, do not care for them (try hard) but have never been able to develope a relationship with any of the 4 (THAT is an entirely diffrent post that I won't even start on). In the begining of December the phone calls start, who is coming when. The plans change daily the phone calls increase. Most of the time NO ONE comes when they say they are coming and I am often left with a HUGE Christmas dinner and no one to eat it. One year all four were coming for dinner and not one showed up (no phone calls either).

MIL is a very difficult person who generally makes the day stressful and uncomfortable. DH is a great guy who doesn't know how to give a gift to save his life. So I spend the month of December knocking myself out to buy and wrap gifts and most years there is not a single thing (handmade or otherwise) under the tree for me. I know it's about the giving not the getting but I'd like to think that SOMEONE thought enough of me to give some token of their affection.

I am a volunteer EMT, I try to volunteer as much extra time around the Holidays as I can. At least then I feel like I am doing something. I WISH I could afford a trip over Christmas, I'd leave town on the 20th and come back on the 1st. TO HECK WITH THE REST OF THEM.

Shandeh
12-12-2007, 03:22 PM
Ginny, maybe it's time to let the others see what it's like to not get a gift. Do you want me to send you a present? :hug:

GinnyG
12-12-2007, 04:39 PM
Ginny, maybe it's time to let the others see what it's like to not get a gift. Do you want me to send you a present? :hug:

:oops: :oops: :oops: After I wrote that I thought, you selfish ninny. But it would be nice if someone in my family made some effort.

Ronda
12-12-2007, 05:59 PM
You're not a selfish ninny, Ginny!:hug:

Shandeh
12-12-2007, 06:27 PM
I agree. You aren't a BIT selfish.
All of us want to be loved. If you are always giving with nothing in return, it's very depressing.

I have an idea....wrap a present to yourself, and put "from Santa Claus" on the label. Then, let everyone wonder who it's from. :teehee:

debinoz
12-13-2007, 12:58 AM
I completely understand what you're saying, Ginny! I either buy or make presents for every single person in my family. What do I get in return? Nothing usually. Two years ago all of them(I'm talking at least 10 adults here) got together a bought DH and I a tin of popcorn from Wal-Mart. They do manage to get my 3 youngest something, usually not age appropriate and out of the dollar bin. It's just sad that you try so hard to please other people and they treat you worse than a stranger on the street.
It would be nice to know that you are appreciated a little. It's not being selfish!

jdee
12-13-2007, 04:54 AM
:oops: :oops: :oops: After I wrote that I thought, you selfish ninny. But it would be nice if someone in my family made some effort.

You're not selfish. Everybody wants to know that they are appreciated. I'll bet if even one of these people came up to you and said "ya know. You've worked so hard to make this Christmas happen, and I want you to know that I appreciate it." You probably wouldn't even care if you got a gift.

GinnyG
12-13-2007, 08:08 AM
You're not selfish. Everybody wants to know that they are appreciated. I'll bet if even one of these people came up to you and said "ya know. You've worked so hard to make this Christmas happen, and I want you to know that I appreciate it." You probably wouldn't even care if you got a gift.

ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I took Shandeh's advice:whistle: :whistle: Discontinuedbrand name yarns added a BUNCH of Wool in the Woods and some new Lamb's Pride to their site. I bought a beautiful aran in LP to make the Central Park Hoodie with (FOR MEEEEEEEEE) and enough Bob Cat in Old Rose to make a sweater as well:flirt:

jdee
12-13-2007, 03:08 PM
Ha! Good for you!:yay:

Jeremy
12-13-2007, 03:44 PM
Any holiday can be a set up because you are expected to feel and act in a way that you are not prepared to do. This includes Jewish holidays. I think Christmas can be a particular problem because the whole culture starts thinking about that one day in Sept. Sometimes really good feelings and good days pass us by unnoticed and un appreciated because we are very focused on that one day
When all else fails I suppose you could celebrate a "Jewish"Christmas and have Chinese food then go out to the movies:)

Shandeh
12-13-2007, 11:55 PM
I took Shandeh's advice:whistle: :whistle: Discontinuedbrand name yarns added a BUNCH of Wool in the Woods and some new Lamb's Pride to their site. I bought a beautiful aran in LP to make the Central Park Hoodie with (FOR MEEEEEEEEE) and enough Bob Cat in Old Rose to make a sweater as well:flirt:
Yay! You DESERVE a good gift like that! :thumbsup:
(It's always fun to take care of yourself, isn't it?)

Oh, and I'm just like the rest of you. I usually don't get much from my kids either. But, last year, my oldest son remembered me. :)

Songbirdy
12-14-2007, 02:25 AM
About the gift thing... and Ginnys comment to herself...

I found myself saying a similar sentiment to myself. The past 4 years my mother-in-law 'forgot' to give me a gift. And she would always make up some really obviously fake reason why I didn't get one. [ex. there was no space left in the buggy, when it was obvious she used at least 4 buggy loads to get all the other gifts in the house!]

Anyways, she just had a break down and is dealing with mental issues... which we now know are long term issues (dating back over 12 years and I've known her 11 years)...

And one of my first thoughts was... oh, well I don't feel so angry now because... she's partially nuts...

Then I was so ashamed that I even thought that!

But then my mother said something along the same lines... because my MIL insisted on buying the same dress as my mother for our wedding. When my mother returned her's my mil did too and bought the next one. Only my mother's a size 4 and my mil is a size 28...

And my mother was like, well now... you can understand why she does things along the lines of those dresses for the wedding...



Now if only my husband can understand why I don't enjoy going to visit his mother!

GinnyG
12-14-2007, 06:22 AM
Oh do I EVER hear you!!!!!!! Don't get me started on MIL's, I could go on for HOURS. I have had two, my first was a GEM, the most wonderful woman in the entire world. I got really REALLY spoiled.

My current MIL is the total opposite. I've never gotten so much as a card from her for Birthday or Christmas. She always give her son a gift and then says it's for "both of us".

So you have my total sympathy. I just alwaystell myself I picked her son NOT HER and deal the best I can. The dress incident is just amazing. Don't you wondedr what people are thinking when they do things like that!!!!!

starburst
12-14-2007, 07:17 AM
Oh man, what I wouldn't give to have a Jewish Christmas haha.

It's sad to say, but I think I stopped enjoying holidays when I was about 13. I stopped celebrating my birthdays, I stopped having fun at Christmas, Easter wasn't fun anymore. It just stopped. I know that Christmas was a bust because that was the year that my dad was laid off at work and it made me so miserable to see that my parents were spending money on me when I knew they should have been saving it. I opened my Christmas presents and I was so ashamed that my parents thought that I needed expensive gifts to be happy. I didn't need the stereo that they gave me and I wanted nothing more than to tell them to take it back and return it so they could pay the bills. I overheard my dad telling my mom that she should go and buy me an xbox because I should have gotten more gifts. I had never felt so guilty in my life.

Every Christmas since has been so strange in our house. My dad got a new job and we were financially fine, but I always felt so guilty getting things that I hadn't earned or deserved.

Last year was better because I had a job and I could buy presents for my family. I finally felt like I was giving back to them! But this year we're back to where we were a few years ago. My dad's company was sold and he is out of a job again. When I talk to my mom on the phone she reminds me that it's going to be a small Christmas again and I just want to tell her to not worry because I don't need a big present. I don't need anything! All I want for Christmas is to go home and be with my family. All I want is for my dad to get a new job. She keeps telling me that she had something big planned for me this year and that she's so sorry that she can't give it to me anymore. I've told her that she doesn't have to feel bad about it because I understand the situation but i think that makes her feel worse and I, in turn, feel worse too.

This time around my parents have grandchildren and they want to spoil those kids. It kills me to see that they can't do that anymore.

I think we would all rather eat chinese food and watch a movie, but no one has the courage to tell each other and no one wants to take away Christmas at Grandma and Grandpa's from my niece and nephew.

I hate holidays.

Ronda
12-14-2007, 08:16 AM
:hug: For songbirdy and starburst and ginny and everyone else here.

I have a MIL (and 2 SIL) from hades as well...so I understand. I get to spend Christmas with them this year, too. Yippee!!!!