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View Full Version : Oh, The Things Kids Say


saracidaltendencies
02-17-2008, 03:25 PM
Yesterday my husband, 2 kids, and I went to a Chinese restaurant near our house. We were there for a little while when hubby asked me if there was anywhere else we needed to go after we ate. My son, 3 years old, says "Michaels!" My husband and looks at him and says, "Michaels? What do we need from Michaels?" And, my son replies, "Yarn!" I started laughing my butt off!

On a side note, he also called his sister a smart a** earlier in the day! :roflhard: Of course I told him that's not nice to say and a** is a bad word, but, when he wasn't looking, I couldn't help but laugh!

snowbear
02-17-2008, 03:31 PM
Kids can say the darndest things..lol. They are usually the ones that says the truth when others just think it...

At least your son know to go shopping for the #1 item!

Jan in CA
02-17-2008, 11:10 PM
:roflhard:

I think we've all got stories we could tell on our kids! :teehee:

knittingymnast
02-20-2008, 08:30 PM
:roflhard: :roflhard:

gingerbread
02-21-2008, 02:14 PM
Oh boy do they say things:teehee: I was picking up my grandson yesterday from school. They have cards so as no one else can take them. So he puts his card in the box, Teacher asks about granddaughter I say, she stayed home with a cold. My grandson without a second says, she doesn't have a cold. I turned red and very quickly walked out before the teacher started laughing.
:roflhard::roflhard::roflhard:

:waving:

saracidaltendencies
02-21-2008, 04:46 PM
:roflhard: Yeah, sometimes ya just wish you could hide in a corner with the things they say!

I think one of the most embarrassing for me was when my daughter was about 4. We're in the middle of the grocery store, surrounded by people and she blurts out, "I like your boobs, Mama!" LOL! Man, I don't know if my face has ever been redder!

alleusion
02-21-2008, 05:46 PM
I'm sure my children have embaressed me mightily in years past, but for the life of me I can't remember. One story that does stick in my head is one my sister told me.

My neice was in the process of potty training and my sister still had to clean up after her. They were in the grocery store and Georgia started wiggling around in the shopping cart. My sister asked her what was wrong and Georgia, in a volume that only a 3 year old could maintain, said "My butt hurts - you didn't wipe me good enough!"

saracidaltendencies
02-21-2008, 06:01 PM
LOL! Oh man, talk about making mommy feel terrible!

lelvsdgs
02-21-2008, 08:42 PM
My ex-husband thought it was so funny to teach our 2 year old daughter how to say "fart"...until we were in a restaruant and she says loudly "Daddy, you farted!!". Yeah, he didn't teach her any more "you can only say that at home" words until she was much older.

knittingymnast
02-21-2008, 08:45 PM
LOL Lelvsdgs!

feministmama
02-21-2008, 11:27 PM
I love this thread!!! More More!!:roflhard::roflhard::roflhard::roflhard:

nonny2t
02-22-2008, 09:54 AM
My dd, who is now 30 and has her own pint size stinker, went to school as a kindergartner and for "show and tell" told the class her mommy had her daddy's electric fishies killed.

Umm, my husband had just had a vasectomy. Nope, don't know where she got the electric fishies thing, probably from some other kid. That one got a call from the teacher and the principal.

saracidaltendencies
02-22-2008, 02:42 PM
:roflhard::rofl::roflhard: That is TOO funny!!!

Pagan Princess
02-25-2008, 01:41 AM
When I was little I was raised as a Pentecost. We were at church one Sunday and the pastor had all the kids come up on the stage and say what they had for Xmas. When it was my turn I got through me, my sister and my dad, however when it was my mom's turn I sad that she had some knickers (undies), but they didn't fit her. This was in front of about 300 people!!! Let's just say that my feet didn't touch the floor until I was at home.

I write childrens stories, and I was reading a story about a little butterfly to my nephew, he must have been about 5 or 6. Now my nephew is what we call an 'old soul in a young body'. When I was finished he looked up at me.

'Auntie Lisa?'
'Yes Steven'
'You know butterfly's?'
'Yes Steven'
'Well...do they make butter??'

KnitWit1987
02-25-2008, 02:52 AM
I was reading a book about animals, I think it was one of the chicken soup for the soul book and there was a passage by Art Linkletter. He was recalling childrens remarks about pets from his show kids say the darndest things. He was asking them if their dogs had a pedigree. One girl said, "sure my dog has lots of them" he asked her "how do you know?" she says "because he bites himself all the time" :roflhard: Another girl said "my dog used to have a pedigree but we took it out." :roflhard: :roflhard:

Another story was of a little girl that was outside and a large friendly dog ran up to her and was giving her kisses. The little girl was screaming and crying, the mom ran over and asked did he bite you? The little girl says no but, he tasted me! :roflhard: :roflhard:

Sajomaro
02-25-2008, 04:53 AM
LOL! Aren't kids great?

A few years ago I was visiting with my sister and her family. Ever night after dinner we'd walk to one of the many parks that was near by. One night my niece, who was 2 1/2 at the time, wanted me to go on the slide with her. It was a fairly narrow slide, meant only for children, so I told her that my bum was to big for it. She accepted that and continued to play. Fast forward to a couple of nights later. We're at a different park and this one has a extra wide slide. My niece runs over to the slide and yells out "Auntie you're bums not to big for this slide."
Luckily the park wasn't really busy but my BIL sure got a good laugh.

Silver
02-25-2008, 08:25 AM
I love this thread!! :heart: Here's two goodies for you, but they're both on the naughty side. :oops:

My nephew, when he was about 6 or so, asked his mom where do babies come from. She is honest and upfront with him so she explains that when a man and woman love each other very much, he puts his privates inside the woman and about 9 months later, they have a baby. He looks at her with great big eyes and an expression of shock and says "Does he ever get his privates back?"
:roflhard:

Another... a friend of ours got an unfortunate visit from a tornado a few years ago. While it didn't touch the house, it did tear up the back yard. Their tool shed was completely torn up and dropped in the pool along with the lawn mower. Their 5 year old son was looking out the back window, face pressed up against the glass for a few minutes, not saying a word. Finally, he turns around, looks at his dad, and says "Man, that's ****ed up". :shock:
:teehee:

Eccie
02-25-2008, 09:26 AM
Another story was of a little girl that was outside and a large friendly dog ran up to her and was giving her kisses. The little girl was screaming and crying, the mom ran over and asked did he bite you? The little girl says no but, he tasted me! :roflhard: :roflhard:

That's hilarious! It actually made me tear up. :teehee:

saracidaltendencies
02-25-2008, 11:57 AM
I love this thread!! :heart: Here's two goodies for you, but they're both on the naughty side. :oops:

My nephew, when he was about 6 or so, asked his mom where do babies come from. She is honest and upfront with him so she explains that when a man and woman love each other very much, he puts his privates inside the woman and about 9 months later, they have a baby. He looks at her with great big eyes and an expression of shock and says "Does he ever get his privates back?"
:roflhard:



:roflhard::roflhard::roflhard:

OMG, that is HILARIOUS!!! They really pick up on the little details, don't they?

saracidaltendencies
02-26-2008, 11:35 PM
Ok, this one is a bit more...er...personal, but, I just about couldn't contain my laughter!

So, my son is 3 and we're potty training him. He's been doing really well, but, last week he had a stomach bug and his pull-up was indeed a necessity, so, he didn't use the potty at all last week.

Anyway, tonight I was tucking him into bed and told him he needs to start using the potty again. We just bought him some Thomas the Tank Engine undies because he LOVES Thomas and we were hoping that would help him avoid going potty in his undies.

So, I told him tomorrow he could wear his new undies and use the potty again. Well, he said he wanted to wear them tonight and I explained that we weren't quite ready for undies overnight and he'll still need to wear pull-ups until he gets used to not going pee during the night. He replies, "I can wear undies to bed when I get bigger and my penis falls off, then I won't pee in the bed!" :roflhard::roflhard::roflhard:

For some reason, I have absolutely no idea how he came up with this, but, he thinks that "big boys" aren't...er...equipped! LOL! So yeah, I had to explain to him that he'd have it forever, it wasn't going anywhere :rofl:

susi
02-27-2008, 06:33 PM
Ok, this one is a bit more...er...personal, but, I just about couldn't contain my laughter!

So, my son is 3 and we're potty training him. He's been doing really well, but, last week he had a stomach bug and his pull-up was indeed a necessity, so, he didn't use the potty at all last week.

Anyway, tonight I was tucking him into bed and told him he needs to start using the potty again. We just bought him some Thomas the Tank Engine undies because he LOVES Thomas and we were hoping that would help him avoid going potty in his undies.

So, I told him tomorrow he could wear his new undies and use the potty again. Well, he said he wanted to wear them tonight and I explained that we weren't quite ready for undies overnight and he'll still need to wear pull-ups until he gets used to not going pee during the night. He replies, "I can wear undies to bed when I get bigger and my penis falls off, then I won't pee in the bed!" :roflhard::roflhard::roflhard:

For some reason, I have absolutely no idea how he came up with this, but, he thinks that "big boys" aren't...er...equipped! LOL! So yeah, I had to explain to him that he'd have it forever, it wasn't going anywhere :rofl:


oh that is great. i have so loved ready this thred. i will be adding about my son who is now 4, but typically i cant think of anything of hand. sods law lol.


:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

susi

SteveDallas
02-27-2008, 07:04 PM
When my daughter was about 3, and using a public restroom was still a big production, she was off at the mall with her mom one Sunday afternoon. There had been Communion at church that morning. As she was sitting in the stall and mom was waiting for her to finish, all of a sudden the kid piped up, "Body of Christ, given for you! Body of Christ, given for you!" My wife told me later, she could only imagine what the other women in the restroom thought they were doing!!

When my son was about 4, we were getting out of the car one evening after a hard day at work and preschool respectively. All of a sudden he stood beside the car, put his right hand up in the air, and said, "Heil Hitler!" I'm still surprised I didn't actually go ballistic, but I very calmly asked him where he learned that from. He very cheerfully replied, "Julie Andrews and The Sound of Music!!" Leave it to my son to take one of the most squeaky clean movies of all time and repeat the one thing out of it that would be objectionable. Our biggest worry was that he would repeat it at school and get his friends to start doing it, so I explained what was going on to his teacher so they would understand the situation if it happened. The expression on her face was just priceless.

And one last one, one day all four of us were at the grocery store--son was about 4, daughter was about 7. I was in line to check out with the kids while Mom went to pick up one last item. I lost sight of the kids for a couple moments. They reappeared shortly, beaming and holding a carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream. My daughter said, "Mom told us to give this to you to put it in the cart with the other stuff we're buying." I said, "No she didn't. Go put that back in the freezer where you found it." She put on her finest Lil' Miss Innocent expression and said, "How do you know Mom didn't tell us to get it?" I said, "Because your mom absolutely HATES mint chocolate chip ice cream. Now go put it back." All the other people in line got a big laugh out of it.

Sunshine's Mom
02-28-2008, 11:04 AM
Another... a friend of ours got an unfortunate visit from a tornado a few years ago. While it didn't touch the house, it did tear up the back yard. Their tool shed was completely torn up and dropped in the pool along with the lawn mower. Their 5 year old son was looking out the back window, face pressed up against the glass for a few minutes, not saying a word. Finally, he turns around, looks at his dad, and says "Man, that's ****ed up". :shock:
:teehee:

Now, I don't have children, but I've enjoyed reading these so much. Silver, that story above had me crying. :roflhard:

nonny2t
02-28-2008, 11:49 AM
When my daughter was about 3, and using a public restroom was still a big production, she was off at the mall with her mom one Sunday afternoon. There had been Communion at church that morning. As she was sitting in the stall and mom was waiting for her to finish, all of a sudden the kid piped up, "Body of Christ, given for you! Body of Christ, given for you!" My wife told me later, she could only imagine what the other women in the restroom thought they were doing!!

When my son was about 4, we were getting out of the car one evening after a hard day at work and preschool respectively. All of a sudden he stood beside the car, put his right hand up in the air, and said, "Heil Hitler!" I'm still surprised I didn't actually go ballistic, but I very calmly asked him where he learned that from. He very cheerfully replied, "Julie Andrews and The Sound of Music!!" Leave it to my son to take one of the most squeaky clean movies of all time and repeat the one thing out of it that would be objectionable. Our biggest worry was that he would repeat it at school and get his friends to start doing it, so I explained what was going on to his teacher so they would understand the situation if it happened. The expression on her face was just priceless.

And one last one, one day all four of us were at the grocery store--son was about 4, daughter was about 7. I was in line to check out with the kids while Mom went to pick up one last item. I lost sight of the kids for a couple moments. They reappeared shortly, beaming and holding a carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream. My daughter said, "Mom told us to give this to you to put it in the cart with the other stuff we're buying." I said, "No she didn't. Go put that back in the freezer where you found it." She put on her finest Lil' Miss Innocent expression and said, "How do you know Mom didn't tell us to get it?" I said, "Because your mom absolutely HATES mint chocolate chip ice cream. Now go put it back." All the other people in line got a big laugh out of it.

You so rarely catch them at something. That is lovely! :roflhard:

feministmama
02-28-2008, 01:30 PM
Another... a friend of ours got an unfortunate visit from a tornado a few years ago. While it didn't touch the house, it did tear up the back yard. Their tool shed was completely torn up and dropped in the pool along with the lawn mower. Their 5 year old son was looking out the back window, face pressed up against the glass for a few minutes, not saying a word. Finally, he turns around, looks at his dad, and says "Man, that's ****ed up". :shock:
:teehee:


:roflhard::roflhard: O my:roflhard::roflhard:tears:roflhard::roflhard:run ning down:roflhard::roflhard:my face:roflhard::roflhard: