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princess
03-04-2008, 02:29 AM
ok, so i totally just need to let a load off my shoulder even though i know its somewhat selfish and i am being somewhat ungrateful.

So im only 19 for those of you who dont know, and im a full time college student, just to paint a basic picture

I used to have a decent cavalier in high school, it was ten years old, my biggest problem with it was i didnt have ac, but other then that i loved the car.
The cavy died back in october i think, and since i needed a car and we didnt really have any other option, i inherited my moms vibe. Now i know im really lucky to have such a nice car, being only four years old an all, but im just really frusterated with it. there are three main problems.

first, the car doesnt feel right to me, as weird as that sounds? I feel like a 40 year old driving to the grocery store in a wagon, and off to pick up the kids after school...(no offense to those of that maturity :P) I simply wanted to feel young and 19 in a fun little car like i did in my cavy. I just doesnt fit "me."

second, i live in an area where everyone is spoiled. I see porsches, mercedes, audis, and all sorts of nice cars in a daily basis driven by my peers. i am NOT saying i want/need such a luxery car, i simply wish i could have at least somewhat of a choice in my vehicle, seing as i have to be in it every day. I had no say in the vibe, and it would have been nice to have a small choice, even if it were between two cars.
third, i still see it as "moms" car. As a hand me down i dont think i will ever be able to call it mine. Its just always been "her" car and i will always see it that way, and i want it to feel like "mine"

i would be totally happy with a honda civic, even a somewhat older one, or something similar. I know my parents would NOT let me sell the vibe for something i feel more comfortable in, so there is no point in talking to them about it which really frusterates me. I know im being spoiled, and ungrateful its just that im super disappointed by the whole mess. I was so excited to inherit it, and now its a mess of problems and just hasnt settled with me very well :/

KnittingNat
03-04-2008, 08:48 AM
I'm 27 years old and my and hubby's first car was and still is (for the last 1.5 years) a 1994 Peugeot 205. That's a fun little car and about all we could afford. I don't know how it is in US, but here a Cavalier is a family car and so is the Honda Civic. The poor college students have to be content with Fiat Punto or the Peugeot or something similar like Ford Fiesta. I think you're really lucky to have parents who can just give you a car they don't need and you should be happy that you can fit about 5 of your friends in there. Believe me - after taking the bus for a few times - you'd love your car.
I'm not trying to be mean, just to put things a little into perspective for you. For me it's a wishful reality to get a car from my parents, especially when i paid for university myself and worked all the way through my degree. Maybe your reality is different and you come from a wealthy family and my opinion is completely irrelevant:shrug: Just my 2 cents.

Silver
03-04-2008, 08:54 AM
Well you can try to be happy with your free car, or go buy the one you want. The Vibe is not an ugly car and it's a lot newer and nicer than most people have. :shrug:

truble2301
03-04-2008, 08:55 AM
i would be totally happy with a honda civic, even a somewhat older one, or something similar. /

I think you're going to have to do what my kids will be doing, what my brothers and I did and what my parents did before me -- get a job, save your money and buy whatever car you want.


Like KnittingNat, I worked my way through college and grad school and would have been beyond thrilled to have someone give me a car -- any car at all. The thought of having been given two cars for my sole use by the age of 19 is beyond anything I ever dreamed.

I don't want to pound on you, I know you're just venting. Maybe you need to look at it from the perspective of the kids who don't have the luxury of any car at all at your age. Given the choice between the Vibe and using the bus or your feet, I bet the Vibe will look a little better to you.

princess
03-04-2008, 09:08 AM
i do use the bus for school just to let you guys know. i need my car to get to work since its further and my parents dont want me on a public bus at near midnight...

that and i work, i pay bills, and i have conditions for everything my parents do "give" me. my school is very expensive, funds for scholarships are at an all time low, and living costs are very high where im from, there is no way i would be able to do it all on my own thats why my parents help out where they can. and no, my family isnt wealthy by any means, but we are comfortable enough that i get mere pennies in student loans.

and since you obviously missed it, i would be totally happy with an older car that i liked better, and older means CHEAPER. i guess saving them some money doesnt count for anything? but hey what do i know, im only 19 right?

cdjack
03-04-2008, 09:29 AM
I think you should be happy with the Vibe. My first car was a 1986 two door Cherokee with A/C that worked when it wanted to work. Looking back, I think my mom should have made me help pay for it.
I would have appreciated it a lot more.

rachejm
03-04-2008, 09:36 AM
I'm 20 and I can't even afford lessons let alone manage to run a car! I'm at University, I'm up to my eyeballs in debt and I'm not even qualified yet!!! By the end of my degree I will owe 21,000 and thats not including the interest (which was supposed to be around 2% but they have since decided to double it!!!) Sorry, University fees are a bit of a sore point. Hopefully I can get a summer job and then I can actually learn to drive.

Anyway, this probably isn't very helpful but speaking as someone who doesn't have a car I'd be happy with anything, so maybe you just need to change the way you are thinking about it. Maybe instead of looking at peers with expensive cars look at those of us who have to walk. You just have to try to see the bright side sometimes, at least walking gives me plenty of exercise.

Alternatively, a bit of decoration inside might make you feel more at home in it and you could just mention to your parents that you would feel happier with something else, its not that you don't appreciate it but you just don't feel as happy driving it as you did your old one. At least give them the opportunity to say no, they might surprise you if you present a good argument.

Otherwise get a job and start saving - its what I'm planning to do and what most of my friends did.

Silver
03-04-2008, 09:38 AM
and since you obviously missed it, i would be totally happy with an older car that i liked better, and older means CHEAPER.
No, I didn't miss that. I said that you could be happy with your free car or buy your own, however "cheap" it is.

bethany
03-04-2008, 09:41 AM
I can feel for you, remembering my car that was light blue but the shine was worn off, so it was a matte light blue, the hubcaps were stolen...I had such a relationship the the mechanic, he'd tow me for free each time, bring me home and I sent him and his family a Christmas card one year! It was when I started smelling like exhaust all the time and people would ask if I drove the "stink mobile" that I started looking for a different car.

But I was in grad school full time and working 30-40 hours a week on top of that. Sooooo.....there are options. Save all the $ to get something else, THEN approach your parents about a trade in. In the mean time, knit some cool fuzzy dice and steering wheel covers, seat covers, and make that thing "yours!"

stitchwitch
03-04-2008, 09:58 AM
I'm 40, I drive a 1993 Saturn SCII that I bought new. The tint is faded and peeling, the stereo is busted, the alarm is busted, and the paint is fading and flaking off. If you got a free car from someone and it doesn't have those problems, consider yourself lucky. I consider myself lucky when the thing starts and I get home from wherever I'm going.

KnitWit1987
03-04-2008, 10:12 AM
Well this seems to be a sticky subject but I will put my 2 cents in... I am 20 my fiance bought my car and taught me how to drive. My parents would never give me (or buy me) a car. My car isnt great it has some body damage on the back side, we paid someone to fix it and they didnt have the right paint color so they didn't paint it and the whole back side is green, I joke that I ran over Shrek. There are a million other cars that I would like to have but really a car is a car who cares? I think you should be thankful for what you have. Not just the car but your parents, they obiously love you very much and are trying to help you every way they can. There are a lot of people including myself that wish they had parents who cared that much. Anyway, I hope it all works out for you. :hug:

truble2301
03-04-2008, 10:25 AM
and since you obviously missed it, i would be totally happy with an older car that i liked better, and older means CHEAPER. i guess saving them some money doesnt count for anything? but hey what do i know, im only 19 right?

I don't think anyone missed anything at all. I think people are picking right up on what you're saying.

How does selling a car they already own and buying another one save them money? Older doesn't necessarily mean cheaper, by the way.

I understand you just want to vent, but, IMO, you're running the risk of sounding like Paris Hilton complaining that she has a hangnail. From the responses you've gotten so far, it sounds like you have it far easier at 19 than many of the other posters here.

Abbily
03-04-2008, 10:56 AM
I'm going to take what you said at face value- it sounds to me like you know just how lucky you are- but knowing that doesn't stop you from feeling a little disappointed inside, and that is OK. You're just trying to get that feeling out, I think, and that's OK too! Sometimes a little bit of 'getting it out' can help you feel better about the whole thing- and I hope it did. :)

KnittingNat
03-04-2008, 11:01 AM
Princess, you don't need to be defensive or anything. It's just that this forum has many members who hasn't been or are not as lucky as you are. Most of us work very hard, often while at college or grad school. Many of us save the pennies to pay the bills and rent. I don't buy myself clothes, so i can buy some yarn. Many here have or had really hard life, there are some living on welfare for some reasons, if it's medical or other. There are many here that give to charity or take animals off the street and spay/neuter them. Many have kids and pets and all the expences that go with that and some don't have kids because of financial problems. We're not attacking you, just trying to give you another way to look at your good fortune (touch wood :) ). You could try and make the car feel a little bit more "yours" by adding some personal touch to the interior, as someone suggested already.

msoebel
03-04-2008, 11:06 AM
I understand what you mean about a car not "feeling" like you. My dh and I decided to buy a minivan a few years ago, and it still doesn't feel like me. I'm not even 30 yet...and I live in a college town. If one more 19 year old frat boy calls me ma'am...I may have to scream!:)

But...I drive a mini-van because I have a 4 year old who has to be in a booster seat, and getting her in and out of the van is much, much easier than a car. And, my dh is a youth pastor, so we usually have a few teenagers in tow. It's nice to be able to say, "Sure, we'd be happy to give you a ride." instead of "Sure, we'd be happy to give you a ride. You don't mind sitting on someone's lap, right?"

Right now, your parents aren't concerned with how your car makes you feel. It's about how it makes them feel. They feel better because you are driving a safe, dependable car. They are confident that when you leave at night, you will get to your destination and home again. They aren't going to be willing to sacrifice that comfort for a car with a more youthful personality and a less dependable reputation.

It's okay to not like your car, and you know what? It's even okay to complain about it. It's normal at 19 to want something a little more fun, a little more funky, a little more youthful.

It helps when you are stuck with a car you don't like to give it a name. A girl in my youth group hit a deer with her car this fall and now one of her headlights won't fold down. She can't afford to fix it, so she calls her car "Mr. Winky".:wink: I call our van "Big Bertha"... Maybe a bumper sticker, or seat covers or a decal would help to make your car feel more like you?

Just remember to appreciate it sometimes too.

Natrasha
03-04-2008, 11:08 AM
I remember feeling like that when I was about your age (I'm 40 now). My parents were good enough to provide me with a running car (a 1984 Cavalier) but I wanted the cool car, the bad ride, the boy magnet. I wanted tinted windows and a loud stereo and fog lights. I didn't get it, but I was still proud and thankful to be driving some sort of nice, clean, well-running car that didn't get me laughed at.

The bad news is that your parents owe you absolutely nothing at this point in your life. It's all gravy if it's coming from them.

The good news is that this is just a phase. As you mature, you will begin to focus on other things that will make feeling "comfortable" in some kind of car or another seem trivial.

princess
03-04-2008, 11:36 AM
thank you abbily! i couldnt have said it any better myself. Thats exactly how im feeling.

and truble, ummm paris hilton? wow thanks, im not even going to go there...thanks though

i never once said i have it hard, i never once tried to complain that the world isnt fair to me, i simply was a little disappointed, see abbilys post. I think its pretty unfair that everyone is taking this ONE fact, that i got a nice car from my parents, and are ASSUMING that i think i deserve better, and that i get everything else handed to me as well, because i dont.

and natrasha, not trying to be rude, but i honestly dont get that mindset, have kids and then at 18 just cut off all support? My parents had children, a LIFETIME commitment, they realize this and they support me, and always will when i need it. They do owe me, because they chose to bring me into this world and want me to have a good life. And when i have kids, i will owe them, and i will do what i can to give them a decent life, for as long as i have to. That is just my opinion though, thats just how my family views famliy. i would rather not start a whole other debate on that one, lol.

Sunshine's Mom
03-04-2008, 11:48 AM
I know I'm goint to ramble on so I'll apologize now, but I saw me in you and just wanted to share. Please always try to put yourself in someone else's shoes first before you get wrapped up in what you want. Which is what your story is about...what you wanted, not what you needed. Parents attempt to fulfull their child's needs first and foremost and then, try to do what they can for your wants.

I'm 38 (for reference purposes only ;) ). My first car at age 19, (I was working full-time mind you), which my parents bought for me, and which I loved, was a Mercury Capri that had a sunroof, great stereo, 2-door, power locks and windows, sporty looking little car. They paid a few grand for it, which stretched their budget, but they did it anyway. This car satisfied my and their need for a vehicle and my want for a cool car. I paid for insurance and this was the only car they would ever "spot me" - that was our deal. I was thrilled to have it. The only problem with it was......it didn't like to run if there was weather outside. I mean that literally. I never knew if I was going to make it home or not. If it was raining I was stranded. You know, the kind of car that really ticks you off. You end up kicking the crap out of it while standing in the rain on the side of road. Cell phones were not as prevalent in those days so I was still walking for miles to call someone to "please come get me....AGAIN!" I burned myself by mainly going for my WANT of a cool car and not the NEED of a reliable vehicle that my parents were hoping for.

I begged my folks for another car. They couldn't afford to do so, but it didn't stop me from begging. I look back on that now and think what a selfish brat I was. I'm embarrassed by myself. Especially considering that when the car did break down they always helped me pay for the repair. That adds up real fast. I still thank them for all they've done for me and it was years ago.

They eventually agreed to co-sign on a loan for me and I borrowed some cash from my uncle (which I paid back promptly so as not disrupt family harmony -it was very generous of him to do so). At 21years old I bought what I could afford: a "super cool" 1990 Geo 4-door family sedan, automatic, no sunroof, no power locks, no power windows, but it was new and reliable and ALL MINE!!! I felt very grown-up and empowered and I never let my parents down by not making payments on it. I took care of that car better than the other one because I earned it myself. It lasted for 10 years and I really pushed it that last year. I cried when I had to part with it. I love having a car that's paid off and still working.

At 31, I had to buy a new car. I WANTED a brand new Honda CRV. I could afford a used 1997 Honda Civic (2-door). Having a 2-door car is a real PITA, but it's reliable and has never let me down. And I can fit all my groceries in the trunk, which is a total plus! Someday I'll be able to get what I want, but for now, this'll do me just fine.

What a car looks like is completely secondary. Give me a beat up station wagon that's reliable over a crap-tastic Porsche that looks good any day.

We're just trying to make you see that it's all well and good to be given things and even if it's not what you want at that exact moment you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. Your parents will do what they can for you, but you're 19 and have no right to expect them to overstretch themselves for you. Your in the real world now. If you want a newer car, ask them to help you reach that goal. Co-sign a loan for you and ask if you can use the Vibe as a trade in. Or paint it. Please feel lucky that the car you drive gets you around safely and reliably. Someday you will realize that that is what your parents were doing for you. Put yourself in their shoes. Then go thank them.

You do have a right to vent, but I think we can voice an opinion about it too. I vent all the time, but hardly does anyone agree with me. Once they've given their opinion it sometimes changes my rant. A posting begs for a response in my book. I vent mainly in my car...to myself....so I'm always right. :roflhard:

princess
03-04-2008, 11:52 AM
for some reason quoting wont work for me so i will just have to name names :P

knittingnat, i understand what you are saying, but what none of you realize is that i have to pinch pennies too. When i HAVE to buy clothes, i get them at a consigment shop. I have a small budget for groceries, very small. I have at times thought of going to the schools food bank, but have decided that there are probably people who need it a little more than me, so i deal with my ramen everyday. I work 25 hours a week in addition to full time school. I know there are plenty of people who work more and have more on their plate, but i struggle with school so its a hard balance for me. And with the little time i have left i volunteer since i cant afford to donate to charity, i tutor english to foreign students, i volunteer at the local hospital, and last semester i did an after school tutoring program for the local middle school. I know what its like to not be able to make a credit card payment, i know what its like to struggle, maybe not as much as others here, but i have an idea. I dont understand why this one fact about a car is causing me to become this spoiled brat in everyones eyes and it really upsets me, yes im "lucky" but not enough to deserve all this.

im sorry i ever posted this thread

truble2301
03-04-2008, 11:54 AM
They do owe me, because they chose to bring me into this world and want me to have a good life.

And that, in a nutshell, is why I made the Paris Hilton comparison. They raised you for 18 years, provided for you, cared for you, did their best (I imagine, anyway). Anything you get after you turn 18 is gravy, IMO. A gift. A kindness above what is owed you. From my perspective - almost 30 years older than you -- it is you that owe them now, not the other way around.

I have a 17 year old. He won't be given a car, he'll have to earn it. We have agreed to pay half the cost of one and he'll pay the other half, plus all insurance increases and, of course, gas and maintenance. I believe that system will make him much more appreciative of what he has.

princess
03-04-2008, 11:56 AM
sunshine, i appreciate your comments. I never said i wanted a newer car though, i clearly stated an older honda(reliable, not necessarily uber cool) would make me perfectly happy. And reliebility is sometimes an issue with the vibe, but i deal with that as it happens.

and i CANT afford a car loan because im up to my neck in student loans!!!

princess
03-04-2008, 11:58 AM
truble, you dont know me so please dont judge me.

i payed for half of my first car, i payed all my gas and car insurance too, and still do (only part of the insurance now because it went up )

and i am completely offended that you would compare me to paris hilton. I said my parents owe me, i didnt say i have to have everything i want. So if your 17 year old cant make payment on his rent one month you will abandon him and let his credit get tarnished and eviction threats? my parents would step in and help, that is what i mean when i say "owe"

Sunshine's Mom
03-04-2008, 12:07 PM
for some reason quoting wont work for me so i will just have to name names :P

knittingnat, i understand what you are saying, but what none of you realize is that i have to pinch pennies too. When i HAVE to buy clothes, i get them at a consigment shop. I have a small budget for groceries, very small. I have at times thought of going to the schools food bank, but have decided that there are probably people who need it a little more than me, so i deal with my ramen everyday. I work 25 hours a week in addition to full time school. I know there are plenty of people who work more and have more on their plate, but i struggle with school so its a hard balance for me. And with the little time i have left i volunteer since i cant afford to donate to charity, i tutor english to foreign students, i volunteer at the local hospital, and last semester i did an after school tutoring program for the local middle school. I know what its like to not be able to make a credit card payment, i know what its like to struggle, maybe not as much as others here, but i have an idea. I dont understand why this one fact about a car is causing me to become this spoiled brat in everyones eyes and it really upsets me, yes im "lucky" but not enough to deserve all this.

im sorry i ever posted this thread


Princess, doing all of this in addition to school and work is amazingly wonderful and you should be proud of yourself. Your selflessness is inspiring. But, it makes one wonder why you care about a car? Do you understand? You, more than a lot of people, see what not having much really means. That's why it's confusing as to why you feel it's so necessary to feel comfortable in your car. I understand the break-in period with a new car, but not the "feeling that's it not mine" sort of thing. I am sincerely not trying to be rude or to upset you. I don't think anyone is. But you did post this thread and we're just giving opinions not critiques on you personally. We get that your disappointed, but we can't figure out what you were hoping for instead.

Sunshine's Mom
03-04-2008, 12:13 PM
If the car is not reliable that is a completely different issue and one I'm sure you can discuss with your folks. Maybe thank them immensely (sp?) than bring up the issues with it and ask them to help you figure out a plan to get something else. Don't keep it inside - they'd want to know.

truble2301
03-04-2008, 12:14 PM
and i am completely offended that you would compare me to paris hilton. I said my parents owe me, i didnt say i have to have everything i want. So if your 17 year old cant make payment on his rent one month you will abandon him and let his credit get tarnished and eviction threats? my parents would step in and help, that is what i mean when i say "owe"

I am sorry you're offended. The second half of this comment of yours, though, is completely twisting what I said.

If you want to go back and define what you mean by "owe," that's entirely your privilege. I took the word at its usual definition.

stitchwitch
03-04-2008, 12:31 PM
You're 19. Give yourself a few years, a few kids, a few job disappointments, a few extra bills that you didn't ask for, a few new friends, maybe even a few husbands and you'll soon understand that having a blinging car isn't what makes your life happy. Right now it seems like a big thing, life will show you it isn't. Alot of us wish the only thing we had to worry about right now was whether our cars were cool. Some of us have health issues, kid issues, financial issues, parent issues (elderly parents), death of spouse issues, loss of home issues, I could go on and on.
You can't be to blame, you are young.

KnittingNat
03-04-2008, 12:36 PM
for some reason quoting wont work for me so i will just have to name names :P

knittingnat, i understand what you are saying, but what none of you realize is that i have to pinch pennies too. When i HAVE to buy clothes, i get them at a consigment shop. I have a small budget for groceries, very small. I have at times thought of going to the schools food bank, but have decided that there are probably people who need it a little more than me, so i deal with my ramen everyday. I work 25 hours a week in addition to full time school. I know there are plenty of people who work more and have more on their plate, but i struggle with school so its a hard balance for me. And with the little time i have left i volunteer since i cant afford to donate to charity, i tutor english to foreign students, i volunteer at the local hospital, and last semester i did an after school tutoring program for the local middle school. I know what its like to not be able to make a credit card payment, i know what its like to struggle, maybe not as much as others here, but i have an idea. I dont understand why this one fact about a car is causing me to become this spoiled brat in everyones eyes and it really upsets me, yes im "lucky" but not enough to deserve all this.

im sorry i ever posted this thread

:hug:I don't think you should be sorry for posting, i think you got some different opinions about the matter. You can't always expect a pat on the back from everyone, life is more complicated than that, IMHO. There have been a few controversial threads about issues far more complicated and everyone expressed their opinions, as long as it wasn't offensive. I never suggested you are a spoiled brat, i just pointed out that this car is a great gift that you should appreciate. Obviously, you're a hard working person that definitely knows what money is. You can't always rely on your parents for help, because they're your parents. My parents can't afford themselves many things and i will never ask for help. I argue with my mother how much will she put into my birthday present :teehee:. Sometimes written posts sound differently than the writer meant, that's why i tried to re-read my posts, but i see you got offended anyway. I'm sorry you feel this way. This forum has helped me on many different occasions with good advice and a friendly shoulder and i think you shouldn't be afraid to post, but always re-read your posts, just to make sure you've written what you meant in the clearest way you could.
:muah:

kellee0302
03-04-2008, 01:12 PM
My first car which my mom did supply was a 1979 station wagon ( i started driving it in 1992) with a tailgate. That's right like a pick up truck. I swear you could fit at least 8 of my closest friends in that thing, it was cream color and it was my grandmothers before it became a second car for my family. You could only put 1/4 tank of gas in it because otherwise the tank would leak and the speedometer did not work, you guessed how fast you were going. But all in all it was a way to get from point A to point B. Not a great looking vehicle by any means but it still meant some freedom. I know how you feel but eventually you will be able to drive the one car that you want and feel cool again but for now this is it and just be thankful it's not from 1979 with a tailgate. LOL.

vaknitter
03-04-2008, 01:49 PM
third, i still see it as "moms" car. As a hand me down i dont think i will ever be able to call it mine. Its just always been "her" car and i will always see it that way, and i want it to feel like "mine"
I know im being spoiled, and ungrateful its just that im super disappointed by the whole mess. I was so excited to inherit it, and now its a mess of problems and just hasnt settled with me very well :/[/quote]

So above is part of your original post where you say that the car will never feel like it is yours b/c it was your moms...well, if you sell the Vibe to buy another used car, how is that anymore yours? It was someone elses first, maybe even 3 other peoples first. Also, you can't get mad at everyone else for implying you are spoiled when you yourself said " I know I'm being spoiled and ungrateful." I have to admit your financial situation and that of your parents is of no concern to me. If they can afford to give you a car that's great for you. I'm really sorry you don't like the car and seem to feel it's such "a mess" that your parents GAVE you a car. I felt the same way at 19 when I BOUGHT an 82 plymoth reliant 2 door 2 tone car from the neighbor and OMG it had am radio only and no a/c, had to roll the windows down and actually put the key in the door to lock and unlock it !! I used to park 3 miles from my destination and walk. Not sure what you expected us to say in reply to your post.... you have a nicer, newer, free car than many of us are paying loans on and complaining about "the whole mess." I get that life sucks at times and the definition of "sucks" varies for everyone.

photolady
03-04-2008, 01:50 PM
maybe she doesn't like the car because her mom was the driver.
maybe it just feels "icky" to be driving mom's car.

who knows?

Princess, I hope you get what you want.
You're blessed with having youth, and vitality, and the whole world ahead of you.
Enjoy life, and make that car you want one of your goals. You'll be really happy when you achieve that goal.

Princess, I know what it's like to be in an area of town where everyone is spoiled. It drains you. Hopefully, when you graduate, you can move to a side of town where it doesn't matter what type of car, what size house, what kind of clothes, you have, matters. Get away from those types, and live amongst real people, who appreciate all they have, and aren't eaten up with pride.

princess
03-04-2008, 01:59 PM
knittingnat, its not so much that im offended, its more that im frusterated with everyone twisting what i am saying. I am not asking for an ultra "cool" car, just something i feel comfortable and myself in. I dont "expect" everything of my parents, its just one little disappointment that i stated and clearly said i know its somewhat selfish and ungrateful, but its how i feel and i cant help that. Have you ever received a gift and been disappionted by it? im sure its happened to everyone, and this so happens to be my incidence.

i think that something that might affect how i feel about all this that people dont realize is that i come from a car family. my dad just got an M3(its older, and worth less than my vibe!!!) and its sweet! my sister just bought her first car after graduating and having a steady income, and she got a mini cooper to race. we also have a few older porsches (aka the 70s, not ultra expensive). my whole family drives manuals and races cars, its what we pride ourselves in. We sacrafice family vacationing in order to afford our hobby. Hence my disappoinment a little more maybe?

i really dont feel like explaining myself anymore to those who want to judge me and point out what their life was like. I am not living your life, and even so i have a right to feel disappointed.

I can see your opinions as valid IF i were to go stomping off to my parents complaining and asking them to get me something else, but i havent. I have said thank you, and shown them none of my disappointment.

princess
03-04-2008, 02:02 PM
Princess, I know what it's like to be in an area of town where everyone is spoiled. It drains you. Hopefully, when you graduate, you can move to a side of town where it doesn't matter what type of car, what size house, what kind of clothes, you have, matters. Get away from those types, and live amongst real people, who appreciate all they have, and aren't eaten up with pride.

thank you photolady, that means a lot to me. It really is draining....and then to want to go vent to some kind people because you have no one else to vent to and be treated like i am those spoiled people is really frusterating

princess
03-04-2008, 02:09 PM
Also, you can't get mad at everyone else for implying you are spoiled when you yourself said " I know I'm being spoiled and ungrateful."

what have i actually DONE that is spoiled, beside voice some disappointment to STRANGERS. i havent said or done anything to actually change the situation or said anything to my parents because i know better.

Wanda Witch
03-04-2008, 02:12 PM
A free car and you are complaining. I was past 20 when 'I' bought my first car, paid my own insurance and maintenance, was also working, going to school. Prior to this auto I took public transportation and in L.A. that was not an easy chore. Say, three different busses to get to school or to the conservatory. I would say, be thankful, forget the 'others' and be happy you have wheels. So many people, of all ages, are driving old, beat-up cars because that is all they can afford, and I don't imagine they think they are driving a car that 'suits' them either.

Silver
03-04-2008, 02:16 PM
I am not trying to be rude or snarky, and didn't think there was anything wrong with pointing out that you could try and be happy or make changes to get what you want (IE, buy your own car). Seems like a solution to the problem to me. :shrug:

If you post on a public forum, you should expect to hear different opinions. I'm sorry you feel like you're being attacked here, but your attitude that your parents "owe" you anything is bound to drum up some remarks since a lot of people here are parents, and parents of teenagers, myself included. Your parents don't "owe" you, and now that you're 19, they're not even responsible for you anymore. You're an adult. However, they may, and probably will decide to help you, for which you should be grateful. Like them giving you a car.

That's an opinion from a mother of two teenagers. It's not intended to be hurtful or derogatory. Please don't take offense. I understand you're not thrilled with your car, but I think if you thought more about how fortunate you are, you would find it easier to be comfortable in it, and even make some changes to make it more "you".

I hope you can find some happiness with it. Honestly. It really is a nice little car.

princess
03-04-2008, 02:25 PM
i simply needed somewhere to vent, hence the title. I never planned on saying ANYTHING to my parents, and i never planned on trying to get a different car because thats just not an option right now. i simply wanted to vent. i AM grateful they gave it to me, and i DO realize i am lucky to have it, i never said i wasnt, i was simply disappointed with how its been having it. a small little emotion in my head i needed a place to release.
i have really been put off by how rude some people have worded things, i understand people are going to give me opinions, but geeze it can be done in a nicer way.

apparently abbily is the only one who caught onto that :/

saracidaltendencies
03-04-2008, 02:37 PM
If it makes ya feel any better, I have a Vibe...It wasn't so much that I wanted that car, but, when we bought it, used, it wasn't even a year old, the price was right, and, it still had the original warranty on it. We needed something (other than my truck) that was reliable, and, we had no room for the kids in the truck and the Vibe had enough room for us all. Even though I wasn't crazy about it, I really learned to love it...And I pimped it out all in my style...haha...I have my band bumper stickers all over it, my Betty Page stickers, my skull air fresheners, my skull and crossbones steering wheel cover, etc. Honestly, the Vibe is a great car. I have seen nothing but wonderful ratings on it, and, the gas mileage is pretty good.

I too know what it's like to be stuck with a car you're not happy about...When I was a teen, I had to drive an 80 something Dodge Aries...with a *gasp* cassette player! HA! But, in time, that car really grew on me too. I have a tendency to...er..."mark my territory" so to speak...haha...and I can quickly and easily make any car mine just by adding my favorite "ornaments" to it whether it be seat covers, steering wheel covers, bumper stickers, etc. What about maybe getting a paint job done on it in a color you love? Then add your own stickers to it and such. It's amazing how the little things can really transform the way you feel about your car. Oh, and the first car I bought with my own money was an '85 Ford Escort...LOL! Yep, ended up loving that little piece of crap as well!

Even though it's not what ya want, you should try to make the best of it....If ya can't have the car ya want, at least pile on your favorite accessories to make it feel like it suits you better.

KnittingNat
03-04-2008, 02:57 PM
knittingnat, its not so much that im offended, its more that im frusterated with everyone twisting what i am saying. I am not asking for an ultra "cool" car, just something i feel comfortable and myself in. I dont "expect" everything of my parents, its just one little disappointment that i stated and clearly said i know its somewhat selfish and ungrateful, but its how i feel and i cant help that. Have you ever received a gift and been disappionted by it? im sure its happened to everyone, and this so happens to be my incidence.

i think that something that might affect how i feel about all this that people dont realize is that i come from a car family. my dad just got an M3(its older, and worth less than my vibe!!!) and its sweet! my sister just bought her first car after graduating and having a steady income, and she got a mini cooper to race. we also have a few older porsches (aka the 70s, not ultra expensive). my whole family drives manuals and races cars, its what we pride ourselves in. We sacrafice family vacationing in order to afford our hobby. Hence my disappoinment a little more maybe?

i really dont feel like explaining myself anymore to those who want to judge me and point out what their life was like. I am not living your life, and even so i have a right to feel disappointed.

I can see your opinions as valid IF i were to go stomping off to my parents complaining and asking them to get me something else, but i havent. I have said thank you, and shown them none of my disappointment.

Me and hubby are a bit of car lovers ourselves, but we can't afford it:teehee:. How about you ask your parents to drive one of the other cars sometimes, just to feel a bit of adrenalin, ya know:eyebrow:?

I do not think i was rude in my previous posts (otherwise i would got a note from the moderators:teehee:), but just trying to express myself clearly. When you post a vent without any background, you should expect reactions to the post itself. Your later posts made the situation clearer and more understandable, at least to me and that's why i also wrote "that you're obviously a hard working person who knows what money is". When you mention that you're a family enjoys cars as a hobby, it gives the whole matter a different aspect. I myself refer to our car as a "she":oo:.

Jan in CA
03-04-2008, 02:58 PM
Go back and reread your own post. You've admitted to being spoiled and ungrateful which along with the tone of your post probably caused many of the responses. It's possible you didn't mean it to come out sounding that way, but we have no way of knowing that.

When you post something in a public forum you are going to get responses and many different views some of which you'll agree with, some you won't. It's that way no matter what the topic.

Let this be a lesson to you (and everyone) - reread your post carefully and think how it might be perceived by other people before you click submit. Even then, considering that the members of this forum are different ages, beliefs, cultures, etc, posts like this will probably hit a nerve somewhere. Just the nature of life on the internet.

Save your pennies and someday you'll be able to get the car of your dreams and you'll remember how frustrated you are now and appreciate it all the more. :hug:

lelvsdgs
03-04-2008, 03:01 PM
When I first saw this post I thought sheesh, at least she has a car that runs... I understand your frustration at not having what you want but I also want to say that at 19, you are really responsible for getting yourself what you want.

I'm 47 years old, the mother of a 19 year old. I'd love to be able to give her a car, but as a single mom, I can't even afford a car for myself. We were in an accident and the car was totalled and I was out of work for a week with a concussion. Despite the fact that I work 40 plus hours a week, being a single mom I can't afford to buy a new/used/clunker car. My daughter and I ride the bus and she gets rides from her father.
I guess what I'm trying to say to you is that I'm sorry you are unhappy with your situation. At that age, I went to school, paid all my own bills and paid for my own car and insurance. You are very lucky to have parents that can help you out. It is really hard not to be able to do things for your kids because you lack the funds. My daughter will have to do the same. Is it fair? Hell no it's not fair. But it's reality.
Please don't feel attacked, these words are meant to show you another side of things. It is perfectly OK to vent your frustrations in fact it is healthy. But be prepared that when you do it on a place like this, you will get feedback and you might not always like it.

Nobones
03-04-2008, 04:37 PM
i have really been put off by how rude some people have worded things/

I think your being very unfair here, no one has been rude to you. We have read what you have put and understand your main problem is 'it's your Mum's car' but the fact you feel you see this as a major problem that needs venting is bound to get peoples backs up a bit.

Like Silver said many of the people on this forum are parents and with your attitude of 'my parents owe me' you can't be surprised that YOU offended some people. Your 19, an adult, your parents owe you only the love and respect that you can earn from them, you cannot expect your parents to bail you out every time, you'll learn nothing from life.

GinnyG
03-04-2008, 04:41 PM
At 19 it's hard to realize that there are ALOT worse problems one can have in life than not liking the car you drive. You'll survive it, I feel certain!

princess
03-04-2008, 04:59 PM
nobones, i said that the way i did because i didnt want to single any one person out. i simply didnt appreciate some wildly out of whack comparisons being made with me and a celebrity.

and me saying my parents owe me may offend people, but that is the ideology that THEY themselves put into my head. You bring a child into this world and you provide what they need for as long as they need it, plain and simple. Its they way they feel a family should be, i cant help what my parents taught me and im sorry if that offends someone, but that thought came from parents of teenagers(aka me and my sis) so its not just something i randomly made up.

truble2301
03-04-2008, 05:29 PM
nobones, i said that the way i did because i didnt want to single any one person out. i simply didnt appreciate some wildly out of whack comparisons being made with me and a celebrity.

Wow, haven't you done a fabulous job of blowing what I said out of proportion? If my comment is all you take out of this (so far) 5 page discussion, I find that a sad thing indeed. People far smarter and more diplomatic than I have offered you great commentary and advice here, but you're fixated on one line.

and me saying my parents owe me may offend people, but that is the ideology that THEY themselves put into my head. You bring a child into this world and you provide what they need for as long as they need it, plain and simple.Bull. Plain and simple, that's bull. No one owes you a living "as long as" you need it. And here's some news: no one owes you a car, ever. Or a college education, for that matter. That's the kind of entitlement thinking that led me to post the (more and more apt) comparison.

princess
03-04-2008, 05:36 PM
Bull. Plain and simple, that's bull. No one owes you a living "as long as" you need it. And here's some news: no one owes you a car, ever. Or a college education, for that matter. That's the kind of entitlement thinking that led me to post the (more and more apt) comparison.

its not an entitlement thing when its what my parents say to me? my parents feel they owe me a living till i can do it on my own, and just like them i will feel like i owe my child the same thing. please dont talk down to me about my family's values.

stitchwitch
03-04-2008, 05:42 PM
So basically you came on here to gripe about a car you don't like that your parents gave you in hopes that everyone would jump on the bandwagon and support you in your drama. Now that they haven't and you've seen that you don't have it as bad as you believe you do you're all peeved off at all of them for showing you the truth. Am I right? What else did you hope by posting this?

photolady
03-04-2008, 05:46 PM
I had to drive an 80 something Dodge Aries...with a *gasp* cassette player! HA!


ha ha ha! :-P

I like cassette players, cuz when you stop them, they don't go all the way back to the BEGINNING of the tape, like CDs do!

princess
03-04-2008, 05:46 PM
i simply wanted to vent? and let me reiterate for the hundreth time, i know i have good parents, and have it good to have their support, and i know a lot of people dont have a car as nice as mine. i never tried to claim any of that as false!

and im not peeved at everyone, thank you. I simply dont appreciate the tact used in a couple of the posts. and what truth? that i am perfectly welcome to have my own opinion? and my family can believe what it wants? yes thats the truth i started with, and its the truth i still have

iza
03-04-2008, 05:54 PM
I'm 32 and never owned a car in my life. If you don't want yours, I'll take it. :teehee:

I can understand your argument that your parents "owe" you a comfortable living, if this is what they believe in. But you have to remember it's also up to them to set the limits, not you. If they decided your mom's car was all they would give you, then so it is.

Silver
03-04-2008, 06:15 PM
Princess, we all know you just came here to vent, which is fine. But people are gonna reply with their opinions. It's an open forum with a "Reply" button after every post. You don't have to agree, or even like what people say, but there they have the right to post them just like you had the right to start a new topic.

You don't have to defend yourself or how your parents raised you. I'm sure you have two loving parents and you're just not thrilled to death with your current car. It's ok. No one is out to get you, people are just stating their opinions. That's all. Please don't take them so hard.

TO EVERYONE ELSE.... let's please try to keep this on the lighter side.

Hey... I want a VW New Beetle. I pout and whine to my husband all the time and ask when he's finally gonna buy me one. But... I wash his underwear. He DOES owe me. ;) :teehee:

mullerslanefarm
03-04-2008, 06:17 PM
I tried that with my husband, Silver .... he started going Commando .... :roflhard:

princess
03-04-2008, 06:17 PM
I wash his underwear. He DOES owe me. ;) :teehee:

ewww! ya he does owe you, bigtime! lol

KnitWit1987
03-04-2008, 06:23 PM
I tried that with my husband, Silver .... he started going Commando .... :roflhard:
:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

Silver
03-04-2008, 06:31 PM
I tried that with my husband, Silver .... he started going Commando .... :roflhard:
:roflhard::roflhard::roflhard:

ArtLady1981
03-04-2008, 06:34 PM
Hi Princess!

I'm the mother of five grown kids, 2 boys & 3 girls. Never bought a car, of any kind, for any of them. They bought their own 'rides'...but that's not why I am posting.

Here's what I think: I think you are feeling more disappointed in yourself than anything. I don't think it's about the car at all.

You sound mildly depressed and overwhelmed. You have a lot on your plate, and I am sure your parents are very proud of you! It's no wonder that they want to help you out with your transportation, and safety!

Take care, get more sleep...do fewer unnecessary activities. Take care of the important things, and let the rest slide for a while.

Your depression should subside when you are getting more rest, and when the sunshine returns!

You're a great young person! :cheering:

Nobones
03-04-2008, 06:42 PM
Hey... I want a VW New Beetle. :teehee:

Oh come on Silver I thought you had taste! A NEW Beetle! :noway: You'll be saying you like the new Mini next, (mini my arse my Ford Ka is smaller and cuter than that thing!)

This is what you REALLY want (my dream car, the car I'll get if I win the lottery -should buy a ticket one of these days!)

http://www.vicky.in/straightfrmtheheart/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/veyron.jpg

Isn't it just knicker wettingly gorgeous?! :inlove: :drool: W-16 engine, 0-60 in a mere 2.4 seconds, top speed of.. (ready for this....) 253 mph!!! It's got 10 radiators... and I'll think I'll stop now before everyone finds out I'm a complete car bore.

dustinac
03-04-2008, 06:51 PM
I tried that with my husband, Silver .... he started going Commando .... :roflhard:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I do agree with when you post you will get a reply and their opinions...but part of me knows it's also hard to take things and how people mean them on forums...also when you are older and have kids and a house to run...you can sometimes forget what it's like to be young and 19...

I also wonder princess if your not more upset with yourself about not being more excited about the car and you feel bad about that because you know you are blessed to be given this.... that's ok to feel that way...I think you do know that you are blessed with a loving family and that is why you feel bad...It's ok to feel bad or guilty....like you said your not telling this to your parents just wanting to let it out so you could feel better...I would be upset if you hated the car cause it wasn't expensive and was ranting to your parents for not getting you that one and then coming on here to rant cause they won't...instead you are venting cause you feel like you are maybe letting them down for having thoughts of wanting a different car...:hug:

Silver
03-04-2008, 06:54 PM
Oh come on Silver I thought you had taste! A NEW Beetle! :noway:
Well you know, I need the Beetle to drive from the front door to the garage, where I keep my Bugatti! :teehee:

Yes, it is a lovely little piece of tin, isnt' it? :heart:

lelvsdgs
03-04-2008, 07:49 PM
Hi Princess!

I'm the mother of five grown kids, 2 boys & 3 girls. Never bought a car, of any kind, for any of them. They bought their own 'rides'...but that's not why I am posting.

Here's what I think: I think you are feeling more disappointed in yourself than anything. I don't think it's about the car at all.

You sound mildly depressed and overwhelmed. You have a lot on your plate, and I am sure your parents are very proud of you! It's no wonder that they want to help you out with your transportation, and safety!

Take care, get more sleep...do fewer unnecessary activities. Take care of the important things, and let the rest slide for a while.

Your depression should subside when you are getting more rest, and when the sunshine returns!

You're a great young person! :cheering:
Great post! And I agree! Don't let this get you down, life is overwhelming sometimes...:muah:

rachejm
03-04-2008, 08:32 PM
I didn't mean to offend and am very sorry if I did. I only meant that sometimes when I am disappointed about something I find it helps to look on the bright side. Its not selfish to want something better or something you are happier with and I sincerely hope that you get what you want.

princess
03-04-2008, 09:02 PM
I also wonder princess if your not more upset with yourself about not being more excited about the car and you feel bad about that because you know you are blessed to be given this.... that's ok to feel that way...I think you do know that you are blessed with a loving family and that is why you feel bad...It's ok to feel bad or guilty....like you said your not telling this to your parents just wanting to let it out so you could feel better...I would be upset if you hated the car cause it wasn't expensive and was ranting to your parents for not getting you that one and then coming on here to rant cause they won't...instead you are venting cause you feel like you are maybe letting them down for having thoughts of wanting a different car...:hug:

i think you just read my mind. I was so excited when i found out i was getting the car, and i have had it six months now. I am still waiting for it to settle in, and its getting to the point where i wonder if it ever will. all that excitement and anticipation, to later find out that i would feel this way stinks :/
oh wells, i guess when i want to get away from the wagon-mobile feeling i will ask to drive my boyfriends super fun little car :woot:

princess
03-04-2008, 09:18 PM
I didn't mean to offend and am very sorry if I did. I only meant that sometimes when I am disappointed about something I find it helps to look on the bright side. Its not selfish to want something better or something you are happier with and I sincerely hope that you get what you want.

no worries, those that offended me are well aware and that does not include you :hug:

and i did appreciate your comments, im trying to find fun and unique ways to maybe incorporate knitting somehow :) (im a dork and a waaaaay over safety nut so i dont want to put anything around my steering wheel that could interfere with the air bag in ANY way)
im thinking i will have to find a very small cute christmas ornament and hang that from my rearview mirror as a start!

KnittingNat
03-05-2008, 03:49 AM
Oh come on Silver I thought you had taste! A NEW Beetle! :noway: You'll be saying you like the new Mini next, (mini my arse my Ford Ka is smaller and cuter than that thing!)

This is what you REALLY want (my dream car, the car I'll get if I win the lottery -should buy a ticket one of these days!)

http://www.vicky.in/straightfrmtheheart/wp-content/uploads/2007/03/veyron.jpg

Isn't it just knicker wettingly gorgeous?! :inlove: :drool: W-16 engine, 0-60 in a mere 2.4 seconds, top speed of.. (ready for this....) 253 mph!!! It's got 10 radiators... and I'll think I'll stop now before everyone finds out I'm a complete car bore.
Come on girls! I thought you would :heart: this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koenigsegg_CCX
or this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamborghini_Revent%C3%B3n

willowangel
03-05-2008, 04:35 AM
Hey, just wanted to jump in for sec - I know how bad it makes you feel when you're not as excited as you think you should be about someone's generous gift - you feel like it must be making you a bad person because somehow your brain just won't get on board with what you know you 'should' feel. I think that was what you meant when you referred to 'spoiled and ungrateful', not that you *are* those things, just that you feel like you are cause you feel bad.

As far as I can see, as long as you're not complaining all the time to your parents and throwing their generosity back in their face, then venting about the feelings that you can't control is fine, because you're controlling how you *act* on those feelings very well. No-one can help it when they're a little disappointed, but being a grown-up is being able to say thank you and be grateful anyway. I think you were looking for people to say that it was ok that you felt like that, as long as you didn't do anything about it - which, to me, is fine. I think it's just a touchy subject for a lot of people.

I, for one, just had to give my mum's car back - she was away for a week so I got to have it for that time. Much as I was glad to see her back, because I love her greatly, I was also sad to not have the car anymore and have been trying really hard to figure out a way to be able to afford to run a car. So I get when people say you should be lucky you even have one, but that isn't what your original point was, was it? You knew that, you knew all the reasoned arguments, but if you just don't *feel* it, then it's not something you can control. You just have to make the best of what you have, and figure out a way to change it in the future. You've got plenty of time for other cars, not that it helps now, but you're allowed to gripe about the one you've got, just as people are allowed to gripe about their sucky stepping-stone jobs and so on.

*hugs*
Fi

Nobones
03-05-2008, 07:58 AM
Yes, it is a lovely little piece of tin, isnt' it? :heart:


:thud: 'Piece of tin'?!!!! yeah, and the Grand Canyon is just a bit of rock! ;)


Nice choice there Nat and you own which one?! :teehee:

KnittingNat
03-05-2008, 08:40 AM
:thud: 'Piece of tin'?!!!! yeah, and the Grand Canyon is just a bit of rock! ;)


Nice choice there Nat and you own which one?! :teehee:
I own a lovely 4-door 1994 Peugeot 205 in which we have invested a certain amount of money to make her (yes, her) a bit more sporty:teehee:

Nobones
03-05-2008, 10:37 AM
My car is also a 'her' she's called Katie the Ka, (original isn't it?!) My last car was a Mini called Massie.

bethany
03-05-2008, 11:21 AM
There's always this for us poor car buffs.... ;)

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article52077.ece

ladyjessica
03-05-2008, 12:33 PM
im trying to find fun and unique ways to maybe incorporate knitting somehow :) im thinking i will have to find a very small cute christmas ornament and hang that from my rearview mirror as a start!

I was going to reply and say maybe you should knit yourself some fun seat covers. :teehee:

But, that aside, I've been reading what's going on here, and I have to say that you sound like a great kid. I work at a college and I deal with students your age every day. When you spend your days watching people blow their student loan money on Coach bags and D&G clothing, it's very refreshing to me to know that there are still young people out there who understand the value of money and hard work. You sound like you have a lot on your plate, and you seem to be dealing with it well.

I understand where you're coming from. My parents never had a lot of money, but they managed to send my sister and I to private school, just because they wanted us to get the best education we could, and our local public schools leave a lot to be desired. My sister and I thank our parents every day for doing this. But, going to private school, you of course encounter the 'rich kids.' Most of my classmates got brand new cars as soon as they turned 16. I didn't. My first car was a 1987 Oldsmobile that I inherited from my grandmother (in 1995). It was great for about 6 months and then it started dying every time I went up a hill. After that car I got a 1988 Pontiac Grand Am, half of which I paid for. It did well for about 2 years, and then it also started dying when I went up hills. hehe. I wasn't really wild about either of these cars, they weren't exactly what I wanted, and I surely got made fun of because of them, but they got the job done. I complained about them a little, but I knew inside that they were the best my parents and I could do at the time, and that was ok. I think this is kind of how you're feeling, too. You know your parents have given you a great gift, and you're really appreciative, but it's still slightly disappointing. And then I think you feel disappointed for feeling disappointed, because you know your parents are doing the best they can. If that makes any kind of sense. hehe.

At 28, I just bought my first car on my own. It's still not exactly what I want, but I do what I can to make it mine, and it seems a little more like me every day. I also know, at 28, that if I needed help from my parents, I would get it somehow, not because they owe me, but because they're my parents and that's what parents do. I see so many young people whose parents kick them out at 18 or who don't even know their parents at all, and I feel grateful everyday that God chose to put me where he did.

I know that I'm rambling and this post if probably very long by now :aww: , but I just wanted to let you know that there are people out there who feel or have felt like you do. It's ok to feel disappointed. It's something that EVERYBODY feels at times, regardless of circumstances or situation in life. Plus, you're 19. You have plenty of time ahead of you to have to worry about bills and payments, so enjoy this time while you can. You seem like you're already doing a pretty good job of managing yourself, so keep it up, and some day you'll be able to find that perfect car that is 'yours,' be it new, used, beatup, or whatever. It'll come. And in the meantime, knit yourself some floormats. :wink:

:hug:

Jeremy
03-05-2008, 12:55 PM
My first car was a 1970 Ford Maverick that I bought for $300 in 1978. The paint was peeling off the roof when I bought it and it only got worse. When I drove it, it would hiccup violently down the road and periodically the battery would die at unexpected and inconvenient times. The best part was the dent. There was a good sized dent in the driver's side door. One day I drove it home from school and someone said "hey someone hit you." Sure enough, someone had added another dent and I didn't even notice it.:rofl:

feministmama
03-05-2008, 01:07 PM
Is this the car?

http://www.canadiandriver.com/news/010105-3.htm

I think its kinda cute. So lets see if we can find you some knitting patterns to jazz it up. Isn't there one for fuzzy dice somewhere? How about seat covers? Or a steering wheel cover?

feministmama
03-05-2008, 01:08 PM
Here's a steering wheel cover

http://knitty.com/ISSUEspring05/PATTwheelie.html

feministmama
03-05-2008, 01:10 PM
How about a seatbelt strap?

http://www.magknits.com/chilly04/patterns/snuggles.htm

stacyk9
03-05-2008, 01:54 PM
I didn't get to read all of the comments, but I agree with feministmama. Do something to make it your own. Car seat covers, steering wheel cover, floor mats, maybe even a personalized license plate! My Mom gave me her Cavalier when I turned 16 (I'm 34 now) and I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED that car! Actually, I asked if I could have it. It is, to this day, the best little car that I owned. My Mom got a new Cavalier when she gave me hers. I was very lucky to have parents who could afford to do such a thing for me. Now I wish they could buy me a new house, but that's a whole different story! Anyway, I "made" that car my own by adding my own little touches and I bet you could do the same! BTW, the second car they bought me (can't even remember the name of it anymore) was the tiniest car I'd ever seen and it definitely wouldn't have been my first choice, but it was free and it got me from Missouri to Florida and back for Spring Break on 3 TANKS OF GAS!!!!! I bet you can find something good about this car. It may just take a little work on your part.

Jan in CA
03-05-2008, 02:14 PM
The first car I got to drive was my moms 9 passenger station wagon. It was teal with fake wood panels. Lovely. :teehee: The first car I bought was an old '67 beetle.

rachejm
03-05-2008, 02:19 PM
most of my friends had pink fluffy dice, i think everyone who passed their test while we were at school ended up with fluffy dice as a present from someone! One of my friends has a really pretty chinese good luck charm that she hangs from the mirror, she also has cuddly toys all over the back seat so when she takes a bunch of us out we have to fight with the toys for space. Seat covers might be an idea if you can find some pretty ones.

lelvsdgs
03-05-2008, 03:27 PM
i think you just read my mind. I was so excited when i found out i was getting the car, and i have had it six months now. I am still waiting for it to settle in, and its getting to the point where i wonder if it ever will. all that excitement and anticipation, to later find out that i would feel this way stinks :/
oh wells, i guess when i want to get away from the wagon-mobile feeling i will ask to drive my boyfriends super fun little car :woot:
This is the power of venting!!! See, you've worked some stuff out and are looking on the bright side. And, you've helped me to see what the real issue is!! I totally get how you are feeling and have been there myself! You are obviously a bright young woman and are making your way through this very nicely...:heart:

Jan in CA
03-05-2008, 03:33 PM
Here's some fuzzy dice! :teehee:
http://www.diynetwork.com/diy/na_knitting/article/0,2025,DIY_14141_5192947,00.html

PCwombat
03-05-2008, 04:55 PM
First off, :hug: :hug: :hug:

As a fellow 19 year old, I understand where you're coming from. Sometimes, you just need to vent about something. You obviously completely understand how fortunate you are, but hey, you're still human so you still get disappointed at times. I also understand your family's parenting philosophy. Even though I'm technically an adult, I know that if I ever, ever need any type of help or support from my parents, they will gladly give it.

It does suck completely when you want something but get something else. Especially because you're mature enough to realize that complaining to your parents about it won't help. Perhaps you can try to view your car as a sort of transition phase. That by the time you have saved enough to buy your own, you'll be able to afford the exact car you want.

If you ever need to vent again, you can always PM me.

princess
03-05-2008, 05:15 PM
LOL!!! i just had to share this with all of you. I had talked with a friend of mine about how i was feeling down, and this is what was in my email when i woke up!!! haha

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3013/2312511173_d6062278f0.jpg?v=0


he tinted it, put custom wheels on it, made a bunch of it pink, and voila!!! lol, its so fun to see photoshop projects :P

mare-nitt
03-05-2008, 05:27 PM
Is there any way you can improve the looks by adding sportier things to it?
I had a friend who's husband bought their daughter an Acclaim, powder blue and she was 17 yrs old. She refused to drive it and didn't, he didn't have a clue why she wouldn't drive it.
She ended up buying her own car the next year.
But I would look at changing its appearance, Vibes are pretty neat little cars, so if someone says to you, hum, nice car, not! - tell them your other one is in the shop!

noratasha
03-05-2008, 05:34 PM
They do owe me, because they chose to bring me into this world and want me to have a good life. And when i have kids, i will owe them, and i will do what i can to give them a decent life, for as long as i have to. That is just my opinion though, thats just how my family views famliy.

I'm rather puzzled by this.....you are complaining because you have a free car? Wow...must be nice to have things handed to you. I'm glad your parents are thinking about your safety and you want to whine and complain about the car you were given for free.

I'm only going to touch on this a little since it really bothered me. How does your family owe you? I have children, and I don't owe them anything. I gave my girls life, but I don't expect anything in return for it. It's a parent's duty and privelege to raise and nurture their children. I think it's great that your parents love you enough to make sure you are driving a safer vehicle. I don't expect my mother and father to continue to provide for me now that I'm an adult. In fact, I am appalled at even the idea of it. When I was 19, I was living on my own, and going to college. I didn't ask my parents to pay my tuition, rent, utilities, or buy my food and clothes. I supported myself. I never asked one time, nor would I have ever thought of it. Now, my dad did buy me a car, but I had to maintain it and pay my own insurance.

By the way, I love older cars....my first car (I miss it so much) was a 1979 Toyota Celica!!!

Just my opinion here....and opinions are like diapers....everyone's had one and it's usually full of poop!

princess
03-05-2008, 05:45 PM
I'm rather puzzled by this.....you are complaining because you have a free car? Wow...must be nice to have things handed to you. I'm glad your parents are thinking about your safety and you want to whine and complain about the car you were given for free.

I'm only going to touch on this a little since it really bothered me. How does your family owe you? I have children, and I don't owe them anything. I gave my girls life, but I don't expect anything in return for it. It's a parent's duty and privelege to raise and nurture their children. I think it's great that your parents love you enough to make sure you are driving a safer vehicle. I don't expect my mother and father to continue to provide for me now that I'm an adult. In fact, I am appalled at even the idea of it. When I was 19, I was living on my own, and going to college. I didn't ask my parents to pay my tuition, rent, utilities, or buy my food and clothes. I supported myself. I never asked one time, nor would I have ever thought of it. Now, my dad did buy me a car, but I had to maintain it and pay my own insurance.



if you read some of the more recent posts, its more along the lines that im disappointed that i feel disappointed. I never once complained about getting a free car so im not sure where you got that idea from. It was more a complaint about my feelings, but i guess i didnt do a good job of clarifying that.

and the parenting philosophy-thats how my family views it. i dont ask for anything, i tell them when i am struggling, and if they feel i need help enough they step in. only when they choose to though, and i never ASK for anything outright. I do what i can at my age, which granted isnt much since im in college, but each year i slowely take on more. I guess rather then my parents kicking me out the door at 18, we see it as the beginnning of the "weaning" process. lol, they slowely pull support so thats its not total shock and failure when all of a sudden i have all this stuff to figure out. I take on one more bill, or one more responsibility at a time. makes more sense to me, but you can parent your children how you so desire :)

also, during the summer i get NOTHING from them, they figure i have the time to work and earn what i need, so i pay for everything. during the school year, with full time school, even if i worked full time (which would be a nightmare!!!) i STILL wouldnt be able to afford rent and bills and insurance etc etc. so essentially i wouldnt be able to go to college without my parents help, and they feel college is important so they are willing to help.

aethra
03-06-2008, 05:50 PM
Aw, Princess - I could practically hear a resigned sigh as you began to explain again at the start of your last post... :hug:

All my cars have been Citroens, which chances are a lot of US members won't know, but hey. Cheap, quirky French make, not fast but with personality. My parents bought my first banger, an AX, 10 years old at the time, on the understanding that I would repay them once I started work at 17 - we live so rural that I wouldn't have been able to work if I didn't have a car to get me there. That was fine, and I was not unappreciative - but I eventually had to get another on my own, after the leaky sunroof caused some electrics to short out, the exhaust fell off, and it got so slow it couldn't make 50mph downhill with a tailwind. :teehee: The car I really wanted, I saved and saved for and finally afforded at 21 (with the help of a finance agreement from the garage) - a red convertible Pluriel. Used, but it's mine. I had to sacrifice to get it, but that is what I wanted and this car is me - I smile every time I see it and I've had it two years now.

The thing with cars is, that different people have very different reactions to them. I wouldn't keep a Mercedes if I had one given me, because it's just not me - and a car that is me was worth sacrifice - even though a Merc is technically the better car. Other people can drive whatever, and it's just a means of transportation to them. But they are probably less likely to burst into tears in the car park at the sight of a scraped bumper. :help: My best friend, on the other hand, has no desire to drive, can barely name a single car brand and can't even recognise faces on cars. I can't look at a car and not see an expression, and she thinks I'm crazy for it. Lucky she loves me anyway. :mrgreen:

See, Princess, I think the chances are that you are more like me than my friend, and I totally get where you're coming from. My car choice is not fast or trendy, (it's downright eccentric, especially in the North of Scotland) but it's me and that's what counts. A bigger engine would be nice, but hey. I wouldn't trade for anything.

Anyway, yeah - to the people who've been having a go - to some people, a car is far more than a means of transportation, okay? It's like choosing what to wear in the morning, and if you get handed an outfit that's not you, you're not gonna feel good wandering round town in it.

...But you can always accessorize in the meantime!

(okay, sorry for random outburst - resetting to lurker mode)

evona
03-07-2008, 09:27 PM
Hey... I want a VW New Beetle. I pout and whine to my husband all the time and ask when he's finally gonna buy me one. But... I wash his underwear. He DOES owe me. ;) :teehee:

I whine and complain about my lack of stuff all the time, but then I look at what I DO have. I have 2 beautiful and genius kids, we have a roof over our heads, they get an absolutely free education at a very good school, we have never starved - we may have had to cut back and eat a bunch of cheap stuff at times, but we have never starved. Then I feel embarrassed that I whined so much.

I understand how you feel princess. I know you were just venting. My first car was a 1979 Mercury Marquis. What a boat of car!!!! I felt like I should wear a captains hat when I drove it, but whatever, it got me from a to b. I have never had a car less than 10 years old BTW :rofl:

I also realize that whatever position I am in is temporary and that no one owes me one thin dime. That was a hard lesson to learn by the way. I was 16 years old when I had my first child. I continued school, went to college and worked. I thought that I was a down to earth girl, but it took the sickness and death of my father for me to realize I was really a brat who had a sense of entitlement I never knew I had. I think it has a little to do with the age though. I'm sure you are a very caring girl and its hard when you are trying to keep up with the Joneses. :) Sometimes I do the same thing :wink:

Sandi
03-08-2008, 01:05 AM
Good things come to those who wait. And work and buy their own..... Your only 19. Grow up, stop whining and be greatfull for the fact that you have a car to drive and don't have to take the bus.

princess
03-08-2008, 01:58 AM
please, it would be much appreciated if people would read at least the majority of this thread before deciding to post. it is quite obvious that people are not doing so.

truble2301
03-08-2008, 07:45 AM
please, it would be much appreciated if people would read at least the majority of this thread before deciding to post. it is quite obvious that people are not doing so.

I don't think you can assume that people aren't reading the posts just because they don't agree with you.

aethra
03-08-2008, 09:35 AM
I don't think you can assume that people aren't reading the posts just because they don't agree with you.
Oh, come on. There's 'not agreeing' and there's 'being insulting'. Have you read the entire thread yourself, truble? There's not a point to 'agree' on - I thought that was the point of venting?

There's nothing ungrateful going on here - she's got nothing against the car specifically, she just feels bad because it doesn't feel right. This has been stated throughout the thread, some things have been suggested to help with the situation. Princess has never suggested she has/will complain to her parents about the car, just that she feels bad herself about it and wanted to have a moan. I thought that was something we were all entitled to once in a while, but hey. You wanna have a pop at someone but don't expect them to defend? :think:

evona
03-08-2008, 04:23 PM
Well . . . I do understand the emotional reactions to princess' post. When you work really hard and it seems like some kid is complaining about their "free" car I can understand how upsetting it might seem. However, I think that taking a deep breath and remembering that we all vent is in order. I am sure that if we all took a look at our own actions we would find that our complaints half the time are pretty petty too. Not all of them I know - some people DO have major problems, but come on. How often do we come home complaining about something like our clothes, our shoes, our bad hair days, our weight, the wait in line at the bank, not having enough money (or yarn!!!), whatever . . . even our cars!!!! Just remember that princess is VENTING. We all vent, whine, complain . . .and then of course most of us also realize that we are blessed after all the complaining is over.

Silver
03-08-2008, 04:33 PM
I am closing this thread because it has been resolved. Additional commentary at this point is only dredging up issues that have already been thoroughly explained.