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gotta knit
06-03-2008, 12:21 PM
I understand that your pet is a member of the family. But I choose not to have any pets. (Please don't hate me.)

Do you take your dog to the homes of family or friends who don't have pets? Do you ask permission or just expect them to welcome your pet just like they welcome you?

My brother may be getting a dog. He asked if their 'new baby' would be welcome when we have get-togethers here. Dh & I are not overly comfortable with the idea, outside would be fine.

I'd really like to hear other's opinions on this.

mwhite
06-03-2008, 12:33 PM
I would never assume that I could bring ANY of my pets with me to visit someone unless they specifically requested it. Although I love them all, I respect others with or without pets.

iza
06-03-2008, 01:08 PM
I don't have a pet for now, but we love dogs and we will undoubtedly have one in the near future. Maybe cats too. But no, I would not expect my pets to be welcomed everywhere I go. Having pets come with little annoyances like that, and it's something we have to live with, in my opinion.

But I think some pet owners see their pets as their children, so it would be like telling parents not to bring their children with them when they visit your house. Or to leave them outside while they visit. So, some pet owners could feel insulted by your request, but I don't know how common it would be. Nevertheless, it's your house, and I don't think you have to justify yourself...:shrug:

Mike
06-03-2008, 01:18 PM
It depends on the size, the disposition and fur type.
A small, non-shedding dog that will handle sitting in a lap and be well behaved, I don't see a problem with it.

Also it depends on the setting. Indoors or outdoors. If outdoors is the pet owner willing to take care of the waste in a manner suitable with the homeowners or are the homeowners willing to deal with it?

I used to take my separation anxiety ridden lap dog to many places. She had poodle in her so she didn't shed, would spend the whole time on my lap and she was very well behaved as long as she was not left home alone.
I more like informed with her. If she wasn't coming neither was I because I didn't feel like dealing with a trashed house when I got home.

I had customers that would have purse dogs when I worked retail. There was never any issue with them.

I wouldn't think of taking my Springer anywhere but outdoors. He's well behaved but he sheds and is huge. Also as far as I'm willing to go to clean up waste is to blast it with a hose (and his waste is also huge). I knew that wasn't good enough for my brother-in-law so I declined when they said it was OK. When he was young I did take him around to socialize him but it was only outdoors and for short periods.
My niece does bring her pocket dog over to my sister's. He's not well behaved but he doesn't shed and at about 4lbs his impact is minimal.

One uninvited pet instance was after a carnival some "friends" stopped by with their pet snake and she informed me that I may want to lock my dogs back up (by that time I discovered kenneling) where they had been locked up the whole day because the snake might eat them.
I informed her that he snake can stay in it's bag or get shot if it makes a move against any resident of this house.
I like snakes but I don't like people thinking others should rearrange their life to suit the uninvited guest (I also wasn't too happy these "friends" stopped by).

Cynamar
06-03-2008, 01:20 PM
I take my dog to my mom's if I'm spending the night but she's fine with it and she would tell me if she wasn't. I follow her rules about letting the dog on the furniture and sticking her in her crate if we leave the house because, even though my dog is six and has been housebroken for along time, it's not my house. It's a matter of being respectful.

Jan in CA
06-03-2008, 01:34 PM
I only take my dog where I know that she'll be accepted and even then I keep an eye on her. I wouldn't just bring her to anyones house.

vaknitter
06-03-2008, 01:56 PM
I have dogs and they go a lot of places with us, but we always ask first. We always take a crate and plenty of toys and tie downs if there is not a fenced in yard. We are careful to clean up any poops that happen in the yard and take lots of walks.
I've had people bring their dogs to my house before I had dogs and it never really bothered me as long as the dog was controlled.
If you're not comfortable with your brother bringing his dog then just tell him so. Some people are just not dog people. Personnaly for me they are part of the family and will never be boarded.

Lucy78green
06-03-2008, 02:20 PM
I'm a bit annoyed about a similar incident. I went to a wedding yesterday and my sis had a BBQ at home in the house. I got up this morning to find that something had dug up some of my plants and pooed in the back yard. I was blaming my cat until my sis mentioned that her friend's pet dog had done it. Hello, why did you let it dig up my plants, I don't mind it coming over, and it's easy enough to clean up the poo - but I spent ages growing those plants from seed...

Eccie
06-03-2008, 02:30 PM
I think, it's your house you get to make the call about whethter people bring their pets and whether they're outside only or allowed inside. I don't have any pets now, but when i had dogs and someone was having a BBQ or outdoor party of some kind, I'd always ask. I think it'd be very rude to just show up with an animal, especially one that wasn't well behaved.

Sunshine's Mom
06-03-2008, 02:57 PM
I love my dog, but I would not bring her anywhere unless she were invited.

I am assuming that your brother knows you don't have pets because of the way you feel. Perhaps he's just talking about bringing the dog to meet you. In that case, offer to go to his house when they get the dog instead of them bringing him/her to your house. Brother or not, he shouldn't insist on being able to bring his dog when he comes to your house. It's YOUR house. You make the rules.

You know, we don't have kids and our friends who do don't bring the kids over unless they're specifically invited. Our house is sort of a "kid-free" zone for them to come and relax. It's not that they couldn't bring the kids, or that we've told them not to bring them with them every time they come, but they won't force them on us. Just the way that we wouldn't force our dog on them. Mutual respect.

cftwo
06-03-2008, 03:04 PM
I am a cat owner. I would be very picky about what dogs I let visit my house. My parents current dog is very hyper and likes to bark at their cats as well as at anything that's not "right" to him. That dog wouldn't be welcome. My parents former dog was the most laid back dog you ever saw. If they cleaned up after him, I would have let him visit, but if they wanted overnight they'd better bring his crate.

Visit the dog on his turf first, and then see if you want to invite the dog to the next family get together and under what rules.

kellee0302
06-03-2008, 03:10 PM
I have cats and dogs and do not take them to others homes. I also would not appreciate anyone bringing their pets to my home. I don't feel that they are children, they are pets and they have their place, Mine at my home and everyone else's at theirs.

eladine
06-03-2008, 04:02 PM
I gotta say too, that if it were me, I wouldn't like the dogs to come over unless the owners asked first. And I have a dog!

I used to take my guy over to my sisters house, but over the past few months it's just difficult to boot him outside every 5 minutes, and as he's getting on a bit, there tends to be a puddle if you're not ontop of him!

Add to that they fact they just had a new floor laid...
And add to that fact they now have a 1month old and a 3 year old, my attention is not always on the dog!

My sis hasn't said "don't bring him", it's me that's felt that I shouldn't take him.

Anyway, I agree - if you don't feel happy with the new puppy in your house - then your brother should respect that.

He might be upset that you aren't as excited about it as he is... but as others have said - make a point of visiting them when they get the new "arrival".

El.

LilHuskiesFootBallMom
06-03-2008, 04:34 PM
i had someone come to visit and she brought her toy poodle with her.. i hate the dog, it's her "baby" (she lets it drink out of her cup while she's still using it, feeds it off her fork and continues to eat, it's GROSS). the dog had an "upset stomach" and crapped on the floor of my carpet, she stuck the dog (crappy butt and all) onto the NEW QUILT i had on my bed (we don't have a guest room so that's where she stayed)... the quilt is still stained, she never offered to replace it. She was a lousy, inconsiderate house guest and her dog stressed out my cats and they ALL were marking like crazy.

Now I just tell people "sorry, I and my 10 year old are allergic to dogs. Please keep them home."

I don't bring my cats with me to visit people, I don't expect them to bring their pets to my home. Just as my home is no longer kid proof now that my kids are older, I expect people to make their kids mind when they're in my home or *I* WILL make their kids mind (my house has plenty of corners for time out)

fireflyknitter
06-03-2008, 06:31 PM
she stuck the dog (crappy butt and all) onto the NEW QUILT i had on my bed (we don't have a guest room so that's where she stayed)... the quilt is still stained, she never offered to replace it.

Get some enzyme cleaner stuff from the pet section or a pet store (it's cheaper at a store like Target)-- it works wonders for cleaning up pet stains! While puppysitting we had a few "accidents" and the enzyme stuff cleaned it right up.

Also, on topic-- we have no kids or pets ourselves and would fully expect to be asked permission before someone brought either (pet or kid) over, we have breakable stuff on kid and animal level and it wouldn't be safe to be unprepared. And if the situation were reversed, I would ask and respect the decision of the home owners.

annomalley
06-03-2008, 06:42 PM
i had someone come to visit and she brought her toy poodle with her.. i hate the dog, it's her "baby" (she lets it drink out of her cup while she's still using it, feeds it off her fork and continues to eat, it's GROSS). the dog had an "upset stomach" and crapped on the floor of my carpet, she stuck the dog (crappy butt and all) onto the NEW QUILT i had on my bed (we don't have a guest room so that's where she stayed)... the quilt is still stained, she never offered to replace it. She was a lousy, inconsiderate house guest and her dog stressed out my cats and they ALL were marking like crazy.


How rude! :ick:

I don't have pets, but if I did, I would ask first before bringing them along.

lelvsdgs
06-03-2008, 06:44 PM
I would assume that people would not want me to bring my dog (if I had one) to their home and would never presume to ask. If the person I'm visiting says, hey bring your pooch that would be a different story. People don't get it do they?

gotta knit
06-03-2008, 06:52 PM
Thanks so much for all the replies! I'm glad to see you're all so respectful of others. I figured my brother would be too, but was also concerned about not hurting his feelings. The request caught me so off-guard!

He actually called me after I replied to his e-mail and we had a really good talk. He thinks dogs are very social & they would take her out with them often. But he also understands where we're coming from and wasn't offended that we'd want her tied up out back.

LUCY - I hope your plants were able to be replanted and that they will flourish again.

newamy
06-03-2008, 06:59 PM
I have cats. No dogs. I can tolerate dogs only in small doses. Most people I know are aware of this so wouldn't just show up with a dog. I've never had that happen. If it were absolutely necessary to bring a dog along it would have to stay out. But if someone asked I'd have to say politely "no". I have a neighborhood full of dogs and that's enough!

Mike
06-04-2008, 04:24 AM
You know, we don't have kids and our friends who do don't bring the kids over unless they're specifically invited. Our house is sort of a "kid-free" zone for them to come and relax. It's not that they couldn't bring the kids, or that we've told them not to bring them with them every time they come, but they won't force them on us. Just the way that we wouldn't force our dog on them. Mutual respect.

I have a no kid rule, that if you absolutely must bring a kid inside my house you are expected to keep them under physical control at all times. (The exception is my great nieces and my tarantula, my niece won't go near the spider. But the kids are older enough they won't go around drinking cyanide and the dad is a cop so they know to respect guns.)

But just like with bad pet people the bad kid people don't listen. I'm amazed how how little some people seem to care. I come right and and say why they need to keep them in control is because I have guns, broadheads and poisons like cyanide laying around because I have no reason to childproof.

Silver
06-04-2008, 07:06 AM
I would LOVE to bring my dogs with me everywhere I go, but I know other people wouldn't appreciate that. I don't bring my dogs anywhere unless they are expressly welcomed in the first place... such as the vets office, PetSmart, or a friends house who has asked me to bring them. I wouldn't assume that they were welcome anywhere. They're dogs, and I know they're dogs, and I know not everyone is as in love with them as I am. (Although they should be. ;) )

Even if my friends have dogs, I have to be sure my dogs are welcome first. I wouldn't want someone with a great dane or rottweiler to assume she could bring them over whenever she wanted.

Kids are a different story. If I invite someone over who has kids, I expect the kids to come along too. Which is why I rarely invite anyone over who has kids. My SIL has 3 (with another on the way) and they are a headache and a half. One of them once got into my teenager's nail polish and painted his little brother green. The little brother once pooped on the floor in the hallway. Yes, a kid... not a dog. Annoying and frustrating, but they're family.

bambi
06-04-2008, 09:50 AM
Do not be afraid to say, "NO" to your brother. I personally would not let someone else bring their dog to my home, esp not indoors. I have had dogs and cats as pets but we never asked people if we could bring our pets. We left them at home. They are pets, not children.

I have noticed a glut of ill behaved animals out there. When I was pregnant and going for a walk, there was one house I used to pass that the dog would jump on me every time! The owner would come out and say, "He's fine. He won't bite." Well, that's not the point. The point is that the owner is not training his animal not to jump, especially on a pregnant woman with a shifted center of gravity. I had to change my walking route.

Bambi

Wanda Witch
06-04-2008, 10:18 AM
As much as I love dogs (and we have one) I would never take her to someone's house unless she was specifically invited. By the same token I think it would be not only rude but presumptious for someone to bring their pet to my house.

I also don't think taking your children, unless invited, is the considerate thing to do. Some children are well-behaved and others are holy terrors. It all boils down to being considerate, not taking others for granted.

LilHuskiesFootBallMom
06-04-2008, 12:05 PM
when it comes to kids, ours are well behaved at other people's house. HOWEVER, when they call up to invite, i tell them off the bat if I don't have a sitter (the 20 year old works and also babysits for us) or if i need to check. Sometimes a kid-free evening is nice...

We also ahve friends that work hard for their things and have different areas of their house designated as "adults only/kids only" and we respect their rules too.

Cynamar
06-04-2008, 01:09 PM
I only take my dog to folks' houses who tell me I can and the ones who do bring up the subject. I don't ask. Basically, it's just my mom and a couple of cousins. There are so many people who just will not discipline their kids and make them behave and the result is that there are a LOT of kids who are not enjoyable to be around.

Lucy78green
06-04-2008, 01:13 PM
LUCY - I hope your plants were able to be replanted and that they will flourish again.
They were seedlings, so were very small (mostly) so I have some more - but I have put off looking at it as it will annoy me and I was hoping my sis would get the hint and tidy up the mess.

Luvmyrottnboy
06-04-2008, 03:00 PM
I have a dog who is very well trained, is very good with cats and other animals, listens (most of the time!) and has never had an accident in the house. But I would never assume he is welcome without asking first.

Cyrus is welcome at all my friends' houses because he is good but I never "assumed" it was OK to bring him! Anyway, his life is so good missing out on a visit ain't gonna kill him!

Sounds like your brother is just very excited about his new family member and wants to show off a bit, but it is YOUR house and YOUR rules. You should not be uncomfortable in your own home.

The only time I was offended was one time Cyrus and I were invited to a cook-out by a family member. Cyrus, as always was welcome...until one of their ignorant friends heard there was going to be a Rottweiler there and spewed all kinds of nonsense. Cyrus got disinvited so I disinvited myself.

I will always take a stand on that kind of breed specific crap.

jess_hawk
06-05-2008, 06:22 AM
I love animals of all types but except for sometimes being very tempted to someday sneak a "scary" pet like a snake or a rat into my parent's house, I would never take my animals anywhere they weren't specifically invited. But then I wouldn't take kids unless they were invited, either. I'm OK with calm, well-behaved kids, but the ones who are out of control, poorly trained, or hyperactive make me very nervous. Animals or children can cause messes, damage, or simply inconvenience that a person who chooses not to own pets or have kids chose not to deal with when they chose not to have pets/kids. That could range from dander/fur or crumbs/fingerprints to ruined heirlooms, and even the most helpful, wonderful pet owner/parent can't alleviate all of the stress that comes with the arrival of an uninvited guest.

Don't hesitate to discuss with your brother the fact that you are uncomfortable with his new dog being inside your house.

Denise - Its too bad that some people are so discriminatory against certain breeds. Some of the nicest dogs I know are "dangerous" breeds - but I won't get started on that. Just wanted to say good for you for standing up for Cyrus. Give him a kiss and tell him I said he's a good boy and some people are just plain silly. :)

tootie44
06-05-2008, 05:37 PM
I have both dogs and cats and I would never even think to bring them with me when invited someplace unless I was specifically asked to bring them, which shockingly has never happened. Before we got a dog, we had people ask to bring their dogs with them when they came over. The answer is always no. If they want to be with their pet so much they can just stay home IMO.