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saracidaltendencies
06-15-2008, 02:29 AM
I just don't get people sometimes:shrug:

The other day I had the pool out for the kids. It's a small inflatable pool that looks like a pirate ship. I've had to put it in the driveway because our backyard is pretty much all dirt right now and putting the pool in back would only create HUGE mud puddles and the pool water would be disgusting...ANYWAY, so I'm out in the pool with the kids and a guy who lives 3 houses up was taking his daughter for a walk. Now, though I've been in this neighborhood for 4 years, I've never actually talked to the guy, just a wave or a hi in passing. So, he's taking his daughter for a walk and passes my house and I do the usual wave and say hi. He says hi back and keeps on walking.

About an hour passes, and I notice him taking his daughter for a walk again. He was on the side of the street opposite our house. I notice him just standing there and overhear him telling his daughter to look at the pool, pointing to the pool, etc. So, I look up and say hi to him again then went back to playing with my son. He's still standing there...and I notice he's got a beach towel with him and his daughter (roughly 2) is wearing a swimming suit...I'm thinking no way, he's not going to do what I think he's going to do....And he does.

He walks right over, uninvited and tells his daughter to look at the pool, blah, blah, blah...Then, his daughter gets in the pool...and the guy NEVER asked! I'm thinking omg, no way, I can't believe he has the audacity to just walk right over, obviously with the intention of letting his daughter swim (seeing as he had a towel for her and she had a swimsuit on) without even asking! Then, to top it off, HE GETS IN THE POOL!!! :shock: Granted he just stood there, but still! I was so taken off guard I didn't even know what to say! I mean the guy is nice and all, but man, have some manners! How incredibly rude!

If he would have ASKED me if it was ok to let his daughter swim, that would have been fine but to just waltz right over without even asking and with the obvious intention of taking her swimming at my house is just nerve! Then, he actually says to me he was taking his daughter up to the school to play on the playground...Uh huh, with her in a swimming suit and him carrying a towel!

That's it, I'm getting a tarp to put in the backyard so the kids can walk on that and not get muddy...I can only imagine how many times he'll come back, uninvited, if I keep it in the driveway :wall:

Karina
06-15-2008, 02:37 AM
I think that would have freaked me out. a strange man jumping in the pool where my kids are. I feel sorry for the little girl because if her dad carries on being this rude one day she will hear about it. that wont be nice.

Knit4Pie
06-15-2008, 08:00 AM
That kind of boggles the mind, and is pretty scary. He was probably depending on the fact that you wouldn't call him on it with his daughter there with him. Can you imagine the manners she'll have if he's her role model??

knitgal
06-15-2008, 08:44 AM
At the time it would have been really strange, but now it just sounds really funny. It's like one of those comedy skits where they get people to do strange things just to see their reaction. Maybe you'll be on TV someday soon!

susi
06-15-2008, 09:02 AM
omg thats terrible. i just dont get how someone would have the cheek to do that. i get embarrassed asking for money off something ina shop let alone a splash pool on someone elses property!

it was also a little dangerous on his part, he didnt know your kids are well behaved and wouldnt 'play rough' with his 2 year old daughter, so many kids dont understand how to play nice now a days do they.

taht poor little girl will have no respect of other peoples things or manners byh the time she grows up unless her mother is brilliant.

criky though

susi

Silver
06-15-2008, 09:03 AM
OMG What a freak! I don't think I could have just stood there and let him get in the pool. It really creeps me out that he got in, nevermind his daughter. :shock:

Jan in CA
06-15-2008, 12:58 PM
:noway: I don't even know what to say..that is so bizarre! It would have been weird if it had been a neighbor you knew doing that w/o asking, but to have someone who is not close do it... yikes! Do you have a gate or something you could lock?

feministmama
06-15-2008, 01:31 PM
some people. I wouldn't know what to say either. Maybe "what are you doing?" or "who are you?" He probably knows that that would be an uncomfortable sitution for you though. Or maybe he didn't? Maybe he has Asperbers or something? Maybe he has no social skills? UGH, I feel so bad for you. :hug:

Knit4Fun
06-15-2008, 01:52 PM
Wow...I'm so sorry that happened to you. How creepy. I would have had to say something...but then again, I tend to be fairly outspoken. Thank goodness it doesn't sound like anything bad happened...but what a weirdo.

We have an inground pool at our house and when we moved in, we met some really bizarre neighbors that live behind us. Apparently, the former owners used to have them over a lot to swim. Well, the wife is always screaming at her kids (I mean screeeeeeaming) and is very negative and the husband is one of those passive-aggressive types who says things that you aren't sure whether he is insulting you or doesn't know he is being rude...that sort of thing...and so we haven't buddied up with them.

The husband was outside and he had just made one of his rude comments and then he followed it up with 'How come we never get to come over and swim in your pool? The old owners used to let us...' and DH is too nice to say anything so he looks at me (thanks honey) and so I say, 'Well, I don't think you are very nice with some of your comments to be perfectly honest and I don't feel comfortable having you over when I don't know if you are going to insult us while you are here.' I thought DH would pass out from embarrassment and the guy didn't know what to say - he asked how he was rude and so I gave him a couple examples and told him gently that you can convey what you want to without putting anyone down. He doesn't talk to me much since then, but at least he isn't rude! :teehee:

auburnchick
06-15-2008, 02:31 PM
Ok...I have to say that I try very hard to be nice to people, but...

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???????

I would have told that man that he was trespassing and to leave. An adult does not get in the pool with kids he doesn't know at someone's house that he hasn't been invited over.

I would have also told him that he was setting a terrible example for his daughter...that you wait to be INVITED before going to somebody's house.

I think you should get some "No Trespassing" signs.

I also think that you should go to this person's house, with hubby in tow, and tell him, politely, what he did was unacceptable.

I believe in communication...polite, but firm.

Gee Whiz!

:passedout:

tarrentella
06-15-2008, 04:38 PM
How rude!! that is terrible behaviour not to mention slightly creepy. I can't believe you didn't say anything although i can beleive you would have been shocked speachless!

I would get yourself a couple of deckchairs and some toys for your kids and stroll on over to his house, park your bums on his lawn and start playing ... after all thats how it's done round there isn't it.

OK i'm only kidding, that probably wouldnt be a good idea! It might be worth writing him a note which says that whilst you don't want to deny his daughter any fun, you do not apeciate him coming over un-invited and intruding on both your property and your time with your kids. Explain to him that you would have had no issue had he first asked quietly if his daughter might be able to play, but that to make the assumption was both disrespectful and inapropriate. I would avoid mentioning the 'setting and example for your daughter' though as he could take it as a direct insult of his parenting skills and it could realy blow up!

vaknitter
06-15-2008, 09:38 PM
Wow - can't even imagine how freaked out you were ! When I first bought my house there was a little boy (maybe 6) that used to come over everytime he saw me in the yard and want to talk or help. I was always caught off guard b/c I didn't know where he lived and would tell him that since I didn't know his parents he should probably go home.....
I second the tarp idea !!

saracidaltendencies
06-15-2008, 09:44 PM
Yeah, it really was weird, one of those things where you're just so shocked you're at a loss for words! I guess he thinks it's ok because the people across the street gave him the ok to use the swing they have for their child so I suppose that means he has the ok to use all of the neighbors property...lol

I'm still shocked by his audacity, but, if he thinks he's going to pull that again, I'm totally prepared now...It was so unexpected the other day...I have no problem telling people how it is or calling them on certain things but I was just so completely unprepared that I had no idea what to say!

I felt badly for the little girl because she doesn't know any better but really, he's setting a terrible example for her! He hit me as the type of person who would spoil his child rotten. Pretty much that he'll just give her whatever she wants, even if she doesn't ask for it. I mean the girl couldn't really talk yet, just little mumbles so I know there was no way she said she wanted to go swimming, but, I suppose HE wanted her to go swimming.

Man, what happened to manners???

ecb
06-16-2008, 12:28 AM
BUT,
this is one of those times I would explain to my kids that when they grow up they should never behave this way, see how uncomfortable you feel, would you (my child) want to be someone making their new neighbors feel so uncomfortable, and it is MUCH better to have and use good manners. then thank him for the excellent example, and start introductions with the kids


maybe I deserve to be called a "Mother"

ecb

gailf
06-16-2008, 10:22 AM
Maybe next time you see him you could mention how much his little girl seemed to enjoy the pool and tell him where you bought yours!

Cynamar
06-16-2008, 01:26 PM
Wow.

stitchwitch
06-16-2008, 02:02 PM
From a man's viewpoint (my hubby's)...."he probably thinks she's hot and used the kid as a way to get close to her and strike up a conversation. The pool and kid was a good way to interject himself over there. "

Ronda
06-16-2008, 02:12 PM
One summer my DD and her friend were playing in the back yard. We have a 6-foot-high privacy fence. The lady 3 doors down "heard" the girls playing, so she brought her DD down to play with them. Her DD is 6 years YOUNGER than my daughter and her friend! The mother just opened my gate and put her daughter in. Then she went to my front door and rang my bell and INFORMED me that her kid was now going to play in my back yard with "the big girls." I was floored.

Guess there are nuts everywhere.

Sunshine's Mom
06-16-2008, 02:14 PM
From a man's viewpoint (my hubby's)...."he probably thinks she's hot and used the kid as a way to get close to her and strike up a conversation. The pool and kid was a good way to interject himself over there. "

This is EXACTLY what I thought upon reading the scenario, Demonica. This had NOTHING to do with his daughter and EVERYTHING to do with you and his wanting to get closer to you. I would have freaked out on him and told him to get out of the pool and take his daughter home. What a freak! Watch out for him. Seriously. That's not the way to approach a woman you don't know - even if you are harmless. Does your DH know about what this guy did? My husband would have gone right to his house and punched him dead in the face.

iza
06-16-2008, 02:24 PM
:shock: That is weird. Very weird and creepy! I guess he's just not very competent at social skills, but still.

It's an interesting point of view, stitchwitch, I didn't think of that. Not sure how effective it would be though. Is being rude supposed to be cool? :shrug:

stitchwitch
06-16-2008, 02:48 PM
In his eyes he probably didn't see himself as being a huge interloper, he saw himself as a guy down the street that just happened to be taking his kid for a walk a couple of times in front of her house and then just happened to have the kid in a swimsuit and a towel the next time he strolled by. The guy is a creep nonetheless but I'd bet that my husband's interpretation of it might be correct. He figured the kid would open the conversation up and seeing as he basically had to force the kid over to the pool, she didn't run over to it herself, it doesn't look like just a random happening like he wants her to think it was. Demonica should print out this thread and tape it to his front door!!!! :roflhard:

Cynamar
06-16-2008, 02:51 PM
I just can't imagine being that casual since there is a lot of liability involved with kids in water on your property. That's a pretty big imposition.

saracidaltendencies
06-16-2008, 08:18 PM
LOL! Some of your responses have cracked me up! Stitchwitch, I think the printing and taping of this thread to his door would be hilarious!!

Yeah, I'm totally prepared now if he thinks he's going to do it again. I was just so dumbfounded at the time I couldn't even think of how to respond to that!

Honestly, I don't think it was any attraction thing, I truly believe he figured we're neighbors and since I had my kids in the pool and it was a hot day, there wouldn't be any harm in bringing his daughter over to swim...Apparently he must have thought I know him better than I do :shrug:

It's one of those scenarios that the more you think about it, the madder it makes you...lol...It took a couple days to totally sink in and this morning, I was fuming! I guarantee, it WON'T happen again!