View Full Version : Do you have class reunions? Do you attend?

06-17-2008, 02:41 PM
OK, as the chairman of my class reunion, I'm wondering why people are the way they are about reunions.
Now, of course my side is going to be skewed since I am the one who's been planning this for over a year so bear with me.
Do you have class reunions? Do you attend? Why or why not? If you don't, do you at least RSVP declining the invitation so the reunion planner knows that you actually did get your invitation?
This can be so frustrating. I guess one reason I'm curious is because this year in particular there were 2 people who complained they'd never gotten and invitation....ever. So, I got new addresses, sent them invitations, and never heard a word from them. I know for a fact that invites have been sent to both of them for every reunion, and the previous 2 that I worked on they were never returned by the post office as undeliverable, so we had no clue these people weren't getting them. I often wonder how many are in the same boat....but if people won't at least RSVP with a "no", we really don't know whether they're getting their stuff or not.

06-17-2008, 02:50 PM
This would be my 10 year high school reunion, but I havn't heard anything about it. I'm bummed - I would definitely go! But I know DH would not go to his. But no matter what, I would always RSVP yes or no. I hate it when people don't respond!

Good luck! I hope you have a good turnout!

Jan in CA
06-17-2008, 03:06 PM
I went to my 10th and 20th, but not the 30th. (Gad I'm old :zombie:) Anyway, I did RSVP that I couldn't come to that last one.

I don't know about yours, but many of them have become prohibitively expensive for many people. My DD2 just had her 10th and it was going to be over $100 which she just didn't want to spend right now because they are in the process of moving. They just went to the bar in the hotel and met up with some people.

None of that explains why they don't get them or RSVP though. Who knows on the former and bad manners on the second. :shrug:

06-17-2008, 03:21 PM
I went to my 10-year and 20-year reunions (class of 1985) and I was the Most Eligible Bachelorette! I really hope I'm not still at my 30-year one!

06-17-2008, 03:31 PM
My class has only had its 10 year anniversary (I graduated in '93), but I didn't attend. I did rsvp, though. I hated high school and the idea of going back doesn't sound like much fun to me. I already keep in touch with the people that I was friends with.

06-17-2008, 03:39 PM
My class reunion is run by the snobs. Their idea of a good time is to go golfing or have a dinner that is overpriced for the average income around here.
A hog roast and a keg would be more fitting for the pay event but they'd never do that.
If they had a free day that wasn't set up around families and kids I'd think about attending that (they have it but it's called a family picnic, since I can't stand kids I figure I'd wait until everyone is too old to have kids).

I stopped by a reunion on my way home from working at my brother's once and I didn't know anyone outside, even those who said "this was the smoking area" which means they hung out in the same spot I did in school (and mine wasn't that big of a class).
I could go to any bar in town and see people I know from school, I don't need to pay or be limited to only people in my class.

No, I don't RSVP. I'm in the phone book and have been ever since I got out of college and spent one year out of state OTJT.
They spent a lot of reunions putting me in their newspaper ad instead of looking in the phone book.
After I got the internet I did go to their website and inform them that it might be a good idea for them to look in the local phone book since they can't seem to find at least six people I know are in there.

I think what it is is they don't like the group I was with and the group I was with doesn't like them so neither is going to go out of our way to help the other.

06-17-2008, 04:00 PM
I went to my high school reunion a few years ago, and it was kind of fun. But I must say, I'm not a big reunion person. My life has moved on so much since high school, I don't really see the point. :shrug: I have contacts with a few close friends from high school and it's enough for me.

I would RSVP, but I know sometimes people don't because they're not sure if they want to go or not. And then forget about it... :shrug:

06-17-2008, 04:33 PM
I graduated from high school in 1988. We only had 18 people in my graduating class. It was a small, private school in south Alabama.

I had planned to attend my 10-year reunion (the only one we've had), but the Monday following the reunion was going to be my son's first day of kindergarten. Because I lived in south Florida, I would have had quite a drive and would have missed it. No way, Jose. My kids are my first priority, and that's a day I wouldn't have gotten back. So, I sent a letter and pictures to the gal who organized it. One of the guys sent me pictures from the weekend, and I was a little sad.

This year marks our 20th year, but I haven't heard anything yet! I have a feeling it will be something kind of thrown together. I mean, with 18 people, you don't have to do anything extravagant. Especially for south Alabama.

I think that distance can make a difference. There are a lot of schedules that have to be accommodated as well. I'm sure it gets easier the older you get, but still.

I would like to attend this year, but we have some big soccer trips coming up...which I won't miss. So, we'll see.

06-17-2008, 04:35 PM
I didn't go to my 10th. The people I care anything about from highschool, I've kept in touch with. As anti-social as it sounds, I couldn't care less about seeing the rest of them again. And it was at a Winery, I don't care for wine. I did RSVP though.

06-17-2008, 07:49 PM
People don't RSVP for anything anymore! I think there's a belief among some people that if you don't RSVP you're either coming or not. I haven't figured out which yet. I've had a few parties over the last few years and I NEVER get all the RSVPs. I've done online invites, sent my email address and everything. People just "don't have time" or whatever. It's just plain rude. I started calling people when I don't hear back. They always seem shocked that I actually want an answer. DUH! I'm done ranting....

As far as class reunions. I went to mine and RSVP-ed. My husband's dad doesn't forward his mail so we found out about it after it was over and obviously didn't go or RSVP. He wouldn't have wanted to go anyway, I'm sure. He's just not into that. I just wish we could have college reunions. I miss some of my friends from there and would love to find out what everyone is doing. (Since you KNOW most people aren't in the field they majored in!)


06-17-2008, 08:10 PM
I've never been to a class reunion, although they are available to me. I went to two different high schools. Attended one from grades 8-10, the other from grades 11-12. Both held very special friendships and both have newletters and reunion announcements they send but as far as a formal invitation, don't receive them. Just always felt kinda outside the loop from my graduating school and the other, although it held wonderful memories, wasn't where I graduated from...guess I just didn't really feel like I belonged entirely to either. I skipped the entire 12th grade and finished in summer school along with about 8 others. I keep in touch with people I went to school with but just don't attend the reunions.

06-17-2008, 08:39 PM
I went to my 10 year reunion in Minnesota a few years back. I was a little nervous and have to say that as I was walking in, all the self-consciousness of a teen girl re-surfaced and I wasn't sure whether to keep walking in, turn around, barf or some combination. Thankfully, my feet didn't fail me (nor did my tummy) and I walked in.

What can I say? I graduated with some nice folks who were still nice and some serious snobs who hadn't changed either. After about two hours of niceties, I had my fill and went back to my hotel room and went to bed.

We had a fifteen year re-union last year and I didn't go. No real interest unless I was in town already and had nothing else to do. I'm just not connected with anyone anymore and don't really have the desire to do so again.

My Dad said to wait until the 20th because that tends to be where all the dysfunction comes out...lol. We'll see.

Oh, the highlight? This guy I hadn't remembered comes up to me and chats with me a little - I finally remembered we had a math class together (he looked different) and he says, 'I just want you to know the rumors aren't true.' Um okay. I asked which rumors those were because I hadn't heard any although it sounds just like my class to have some floating around. He said there was a rumor going around that he died in a plan crash! Now what type of Hallmark card retort is appropriate for THAT comment? I stammered a bit since I was taken aback and said something dorky like 'Well, I'm glad it isn't true...' :roflhard:

06-17-2008, 09:03 PM
Do you have class reunions? Do you attend? Why or why not? If you don't, do you at least RSVP declining the invitation so the reunion planner knows that you actually did get your invitation?

I think there is one happening (My 10 year) this fall. I won't be attending, unless finances change dramatically. I live in WA and it's held in CA. With rising costs for any type of travel, and having a small child, travel isn't easy or cheap. If I lived near by, I would definantly go. If i do receive an invitation, I will send a declining RSVP, so that they know i received it.

My DHs reunion was last fall, and local, but we didn't attend. It was expensive (for us), and a formal event. He owns a tux, but I would have had to go buy a formal dress on top of the cost (it was like paying for a prom, maybe $100?) He wasn't interested in going, no desire to see any of his classmates, so we didn't attend. I wasn't about to pay $2-400 to hang out with people i didn't know and he didn't want to see. :shrug:


06-17-2008, 09:51 PM
I haven't been out of high school long enough to have had a reunion yet, but my parents did go to their first one. The only reason they went was because they were in the same class, and they thought it would be cool to go being married now. According to them, it was all of the people they didn't like in high school and they still didn't like ten years later.

06-18-2008, 05:09 AM
Again i would probably be to young to have been to a reunion, unless they did a 5 year reunion. Reunions don't seemt o be a big thing here in the UK though, especially not class or year specific reunions. Maybe it is because we don't do the formal 'graduation' of high school. Instead we get to 16 then decide if we want to leave education all togehter, stay in the schools 6th form (if they have one), go to another 6th form or go to a specialist training place (like a friend of mine who did a modern aprenticship). Becasue we just sort of drift away, knowing which year and which building to do a reunion for can be difficult.
Instead we tend to have 'Old Boys/Girls' reunions or dinners which are hosted every few years by the school (can you tell i went to an all girls school!) and are open to all former members of the school, whether they left 5 years ago or 40! i think that makes it a little easier for those who do attend because they don't have to worry about the old cliques and hierarchy as much, with so many different people there.

Personally i would not go. I did not enjoy school and whent to quite a lot of effort to loose contact with some people when i left. If i did get an invite i would only RSVP if it asked for an RSVP, otherwise, and sorry if this sounds meen, i wouldnt wast the paper on it. not for them!

06-18-2008, 05:16 AM
oh i have been invited to one in october, i have rsvp'd as a maybe right now. its more difficult for me as i dont live in the same country i went to school in anymore.

if i can be in england when its on then i will go for sure. if i can go i will def be there as i am still in contact with a few people from those days. it was th ejunior school i went to, i would never go to the senior school as i hated it there and was bullied terribly by the^people that would be there. although it could be fun to say ha ha ha ha look at me now lol.

its bad manners not to rsvp to any invertation, even if you delay in responding its still bad form

good luck wityh your reunion, you are braver than i am organising one lol


06-18-2008, 08:09 AM
Thanks for the input - i appreciate it!
Not to bore you, but just a few general details about our reunions (I've actually only worked on 3 and chaired the last 2...I volunteered for earlier ones but never got a call - might have still been a little "cliquish" back then. Oh yeah, that reminds me....I may be considered "old" - only don't say it to ME!!! LOL!! This is my 35 year reunion).
I have a committee, but basically I've done most of the stuff myself. Of the 2 other people, one forgot she volunteered to help after the last one, and the other has worked on every single one, so I'm trying to just use her strengths (treasurer, and someone who knows EVERYONE so she can help me find people who have changed addresses before I spend hours on the 'net looking for them) so she doesn't get burned out and never do another one. Anyway, we keep the costs as low as we can while providing a nice atmosphere and meal. Admittedly, the days of the $10/person reunion are gone as basic costs have increased so much. Still, we were able to bring ours in at $30/person this year. Basically, our decor consists of a combination dance/pep rally type theme. What I mean is we have nicely decorated tables (but we find inexpensive stuff to do it with - I make homemade candles in the school colors, we find LOTS of orange and black stuff on sale after Halloween and figure out ways to adapt it, etc.), some decorations on the walls, this year I found an inexpensive arch, so we'll set it up with black tulle and orange lights (again, Halloween sale stuff). Our dress is always casual - jeans, shorts, whatever. I know there are classes that have the cocktail dress/sport jacket type thing, but it just doesn't seem that would be the most comfortable clothes to be in to have a fun time. We have a DJ, a class directory, a meal (not fancy, but a nice meal), a class photo taken, and time to dance, sit around and chat, or whatever. We all meet at a bar the night before (along with every other class that's having a reunion), are in a parade on Sat. morning (our reunions are held the same weekend as the hometown's celebration), this year some will be playing golf, some will be chilling out in the afternoon, and then the party is from 5-midnight. Sunday we're having a catered picnic for $8/person. We're holding it in a shelterhouse at the city park where the swimming pool is. Not only did most of us live at the pool in the summer in our youth, but the shelterhouse we're using was also the site of lots of Girl Scout, Boy Scout, and other activities from when we were young. Lots of memories there.
So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that we are doing what we can to avoid the $100-type price tag, make it casual and comfortable, and include everyone we can. I know there are people who have bad memories from high school and will never come (but, they never tell me not to send them stuff, either, so they are notified. It's not my place as planner to pick and choose who gets an invite and who doesn't - regardless of their lack of attendance in the past, as they are a member of the class and until they tell me not to contact them, they deserve an invite. I just wish they'd at least RSVP....my email is on everything, so it's not like they even have to spend postage money), but I have also found that after the 15th or 20th, people have started to get hit with life, and the vast majority of them have figured out there aren't any "golden people" who are better than anyone else. It's been that way with us, anyway.
And, as for being the chair and planning these things, if you'd known me in high school, you'd never believe it. I was always in the background - not a ton of friends, not popular, heck, pretty much invisible. But, as I say, people change over the years, and I've come out of my shell. In college I figured out that if I wanted to meet people, I had to work on it, not just wait for them to come over and talk to me. (One of my "lightbulb moments". LOL!!!) Since then, I've become much more gregarious.
So, the reunion is the weekend of June 27-29. Everyone I've heard from is really excited, so I hope all goes well.
Thanks for the good wishes!!!!!!!!!

09-16-2008, 01:42 AM
Oh, the highlight? This guy I hadn't remembered comes up to me and chats with me a little - I finally remembered we had a math class together (he looked different) and he says, 'I just want you to know the rumors aren't true.' Um okay. I asked which rumors those were because I hadn't heard any although it sounds just like my class to have some floating around. He said there was a rumor going around that he died in a plan crash! Now what type of Hallmark card retort is appropriate for THAT comment? I stammered a bit since I was taken aback and said something dorky like 'Well, I'm glad it isn't true...' :roflhard:

The company my mother worked at for 24 years had a reunion a few years ago. This place was important to us because my great-grandfather, grandfather, father, an uncle & a couple of cousins also worked there through the years. The year Mama helped with it, they made an "In Memory" poster for the registry area. They had to take it down when a few of the people on it showed up! :doh:

09-16-2008, 01:50 AM
So, the reunion is the weekend of June 27-29. Everyone I've heard from is really excited, so I hope all goes well.

Our class has had a 10th, 20th, 25th & 30th. I helped on the 20th & 25th. I don't think our prices were too bad, less than $40 per person best I remember. That included a mixer on Friday night & a catered dinner/dance on Saturday. We also had a potluck picnic on Sunday that was alot of fun. We only went to my husband's 10th & he said he had more fun at my 10th than at his. :) My graduating class was 224, his was about twice that.

Our daughter graduated from the same HS as my husband. She didn't go to her 10th last weekend because it would've cost $140 for her & her husband & they didn't have near the events we did. Her graduating class was almost 600!

09-16-2008, 02:25 AM
I went to my 10 year reunion, I am terrible about rsvping but I did. I had a great time and I glad I went. I had to go to the east coast but I thought it was worth it. The organizer did a site on classmates.com and did a mailing and emails. You might want to try that.

09-16-2008, 02:55 AM
no one has asked....but Facebook has been a pretty good 10 year reunion!

09-16-2008, 01:58 PM
So far there has only been a 10 year reunion for my former high school and I had absolutely no desire to go. Sure, I had friends in high school, but, they were high school friends. Once we graduated, none of us ever spoke again.

Our reunion was organized on Classmates.com and they have an option there for people to RSVP with a yes, no, or maybe. I checked out the details of the reunion and even though I had no plans to go anyway, I sure the hell wasn't gonna go after I saw the cost of attending! I have MySpace and Facebook and can talk to the people I want to for FREE, and, if I really wanted to, set up a meetup for FREE!

I didn't even go to my high school graduation, that's how badly I wanted to just be done with school :teehee: I went up to the school the day after graduation and got my diploma from the office...lol

09-16-2008, 02:41 PM
they didn't do a 5 yr, and 10 yrs isn't until 2010, so I don't know if they'll do one. If I do receive an invitation, I probably will not go(but I will RSVP with a 'No', as I was raised with manners). There's nobody in my graduating class I'm even remotely interested in meeting again. All of my friends & people I knew were in the year ahead of me (I took a lot of senior classes my junior year), and I probably will go to their 10 yr reunion next year with my best friend (and she will RSVP 'Yes + 1 guest').

09-16-2008, 02:44 PM
It's like herding cats to get any large group of people together like that. Kudos to you for taking it on!

I have passed my 10th and 15th reunions now- and I didn't go. I did RSVP that I would not be there though. I live pretty far away and to be perfectly honest- I have no desire to go. That was a really tough period in my life, and I don't want to revisit it or most of the people.

ETA- Gee- I thought I was the only one. Nope.

09-16-2008, 05:57 PM
Neither my husband or I have been contacted about school reunions. We both graduated from the same high school just 3 years apart and I don't even know if they had any reunions. My husbands relatives still live at the same address the school had for us at graduation so who knows. We wouldn't attend because we moved about 3000 miles away.

09-17-2008, 09:47 AM
Funny about class reunions. I was not in the "group" yet after high school it did change. No one wanted to get it started so a bunch of us got together and we had a great time. Nothing big and we have done this since the our 5th reunion. I retired and moved so I missed the 40th reunion. I did rsvp even though we don't all out so that most people can make it. I don't know why some classes think they have to go all out. We did that one year and I don't think to many came. They tried to make it like a prom didn't go over to big, most of the women were pregnant :teehee:. I say keep it normal and more people will come.


Sunshine's Mom
09-17-2008, 10:02 AM
My class had a 1-year (silliness!), 5-year, 10-year and in 2007 the 20th. I never received an invite for any of them except the 20th, and I was married to a classmate in 1997 (10th) and he got one and I didn't. Sent to our home, no less. I have no idea how or why this happens. Since I never got invites there was nothing to RSVP for.

I went to the 20th, which was in Saratoga Springs, not far from where I live. I split a hotel room with friend from WV and our other friends went out with us. On Friday night, an arranged drinks get-together at a local bar was arranged. It was great fun seeing lots of folks and catching up. The reunion itself was held Saturday night. Saturday, during the day, we walked around the downtown area and ran into old friends again. Fun.

The Saturday night reunion was awful. Food was a buffet with lay-outs on both sides of the hall. It was very much like eating in the cafeteria with everyone keeping to their cliques. Not fun. There was music and dancing, but the "hosts" didn't do anything to address us, or bring us together in any way. It was just a "mingle yourself" thing. Time for that is great, but there could have been something to bring us together.

I won't go to another one. I'd still get the hotel room with my friends and see everyone the night before and walk around downtown shopping and eating lunch. But, I have no need to spend $70 to feel like I'm in high school again. I've grown up. My close friends are still my friends and that's all I need.

09-17-2008, 08:05 PM
Thanks for all the replies - I really appreciate the different ways of looking at things. I guess when you're the planner, it's really hard to understand why people won't come. Most of us do as much as we possibly can to appeal to everyone, as we realize it is a party for the whole class, and not just certain groups.

Maybe it's just my class, but I've found that as the years have passed, the groups have diminished greatly. Of course the people who hung out together in high school will head to each other first, as we're all scattered, and even though they may keep in contact by email, it's great to see someone in person; but before the evening's over, everyone is mixing with everyone. I think you'll still find groups of people....but not necessarily for the reason you'd think. It's amazing how many people we had out of our class that ended up in the medical field (people you knew would do it, and people you had NO clue that they had any interest in that), so they tend to get together and trade "war stories" (several trauma room nurses from our class), people who have found new hobbies, etc. In fact, after our last one in June, I got a note from one of the gals who used to be a cheerleader (one of the groups you'd expect to be real snobs) and she said she had an idea for the next one, but needed to get in touch with this one guy from our class (who would have been - and was by his own admission on his "biographical form" - considered one of the biggest nerds in the class). So, fortunately for us we've all grown up and hang together pretty close. I think the only one that doesn't get to visit with people is me 'cause I'm always busy making sure everything's running smootly. We don't do games, just an introduction and welcome, and then "turn 'em loose". My class seems to like it that way - games and awards take away from their mingling time. To each his own, I guess.
We keep it casual, although with our 40, 45, and 50 coming up, I think I'd like to see one of them be a fancy one...not to be morbid, but we've had 9 people pass away before the age of 53, and before we get up there too far I'd like to have one over our high school Homecoming weekend, with our own Homecoming dance, etc. Casual has been very cool, but I would like one "fancier, more memorable" at least once. My committee busts their behinds to make sure the price is reasonable - $30 a person. That includes all the mailings, a full class directory, a DJ, a nice hall, a sit down meal, and a souvenier. (This year our soveniers were peace necklaces and mood rings and a reunion keychain) We also had a PowerPoint show running throughout the evening, so they could check that out as they wished - it looped all night.
I never realized so many people had bad memories of high school! I guess because I was the "invisible person", not a ton of friends, very shy, etc.; and I've ended up being the chair and having a blast (and I have been to every one and had a blast at each one, even before I got the chairman's job), it just seemed like everybody should try it once. Oh yeah, and I was under 5 feet tall and 89 pounds in hs, looked more like a boy than a girl, and was teased unmercifully.....and now I'm 5 foot tall and over twice the weight.....and I still go and have fun.
So, thanks for the feedback, and please, keep it coming - it helps me a lot to know what is going on with people, so I can know what to try and do to have even more people turn out for the next one.
Thanks again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

09-17-2008, 08:27 PM
Not me, I have no class :mrgreen:

Wanda Witch
09-17-2008, 08:48 PM
Since graduating long before most of you were born, there were some reunions at Hollywood High. No, I did not attend. The school was so very large few knew one another.

And, then, there is DH: He would attend all sorts of reunions, pick a name and he was there. Now, all of his old friends are, shall we say, departed.

I really don't know what good it does to attend: Oh, she is SOOO fat, he is SOOO ugly, on and on. Why? Life goes on and those you went to school with are usually off onto another life and there is nothing left but shallow memories. I don't discount memories, don't understand me; however, once you are out of school, things do change, some people do, some do not. Nothing like the class 'jock' who is now a fat, ugly blob.

Reunions? As Mason said, he did not have a class. Well, guess I did not either. As a young person at Hollywood High School, I was a nerd, not many liked me, I was tall, too much so, braces on the teeth, etc., etc., but then? Well, no braces anymore. By the way, I did make the cover of Look Magazine about an article regarding good old Hollywood HS.

Thanks for viewing this nonsense. IF reunions make you feel good - by all mean - go for it. Otherwise, life goes on and so we change. Thankfully. Hopefully.

09-17-2008, 09:11 PM
My DH and I attended the same high school, but graduated 2 years apart. For his 10 yr. we did not attend since I was in the hospital recovering from thyroid surgery to find out if I had thyroid cancer (I didn't). We did RSVP though. For my 10 yr. there were no invitations put out. They got the info to people by word of mouth and the newspaper, so no need to RSVP. I didn't go though. It was at a football game, which I hate, and later there was a get together where I heard later that most of the people got beyond drunk. I'm glad I didn't go. I hated high school. Except for meeting my future husband there, very little good came from it. All the people I want to keep in touch with, I already do without the reunion.

09-23-2008, 06:58 AM
Do you really want to know the difference between people who attend their high school reunions and those who do not? Those who do have something to talk about. They've accomplished something. They've made something of their lives.

Me? By the time I went home, I would feel like a waste of oxygen. I would wonder why I'm still taking up space on this planet. I'd be dying inside from all the times during the evening I had to introduce myself by saying, "who, me? Oh, I'm nobody. I'm nothing. I've never done anything important. I never became anything significant."

I can tell you in two simple words why I never attended any of my reunions: Suicide Prevention.
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