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ArtLady1981
01-13-2009, 05:02 PM
Story seen at: KnowItAlz.com Blog

[Saturday, 10 January 2009

This is a gem sent by a sweet reader named Shirley who cared for her husband with Alzheimer's for 4 years. Their loving marriage lasted an amazing 48 years and ended when death did them part three years ago. She sent me this lovely and funny story:

"I remember one time he came out of his bedroom, and he wanted to know where I had taken the kitchen. I told him to sit down, and I would go and see if I could find it. I went in the kitchen, opened up the blinds, turned on all the lights, moved his chair to a different side, and then I went and got him. I sat him down and asked him if he liked the kitchen where it had been moved to, he said, 'Yes. Can we leave it there?' I just smiled at him, and said, 'of course'."

The moral of this story is to agree with and adjust to your loved one with dementia. With dementia, reality will never be the same, but at least we can smile; and even move the damn kitchen if we want to!]

evona
01-13-2009, 05:06 PM
That is so sweet! It brings tears to my eyes because I my father had Alzheimers

Jan in CA
01-13-2009, 05:28 PM
Oh man..that brings tears to my eyes, too. So sweet!

TEMA
01-14-2009, 12:55 AM
Thank you for posting this wonderful story.
How easy we can forget what is happening to our loved ones right before our eyes and start to argue with them that, of course the kitchen is still there.
How wonderful that this woman loved her husband and understood what was happening to him so well... what a wonderful answer she gave to his question.
I pray that I will have the same patience and kindness in my heart when/if this should happen to a loved one of mine.
Thank you, again,
TEMA

Debkcs
01-14-2009, 04:51 AM
Sweet story, Dollyce, thank you.

losnana
01-14-2009, 07:52 AM
My mother is suffering from Alzheimers, and this story brought home to me how there is no point in making her attempt to see reality as it is. To her, her "reality" is the only reality. Thanks for sharing this.

Mulderknitter
01-14-2009, 09:27 AM
I used to work on the psych unit that had the older dementia patients, and we frequently used that tactic to calm people down. Just agree with them, it's easier and less stressful for all. And we were often on a spaceship!

Luvmyrottnboy
01-15-2009, 09:25 AM
My mom has Alzheimers too and I took care of her for 2 years before placing her in an ALF.

Anyway, this was the first lesson I had to learn. They call it "speaking Alzheimers".

One time, and this was when I realized she was slipping into the next stage, I came home from work and she was just rounding the corner with 2 big shopping bags from the corner store. Both bags were filled with half gallon containers of ice icream.

Now, you have to understand my mom and I shared a two family house. She was upstairs, I was downstairs and the only other living beings were her cat and my dog.

I asked her why she bought so much ice cream and her answer was "It is for the kids". I just humored her and I knew what was going to happen...

After about 10 minutes she was banging on my door wanting to know if "the kids" were down here:)

That's when I hired a daytime care giver!

Oh gosh, the stories!

cindycactus
01-15-2009, 12:00 PM
What a cute story. My mother had dementia for years before she died in 1995. I sat with her sometimes and we talked. She did not know who I was but I think she knew that I belonged to her somehow. So we had some interesting talks. She was more child than adult at that time and some of the things that came out of her mouth!!!! :roflhard: But I did enjoy our visits.