View Full Version : Bad Bad Bad News Day

03-17-2009, 06:10 PM
I am so depressed today! This morning I found out a friend that I was very close to in high school and have fond memories of has a brain virus and it doens't look like he'll make it. They just removed his feeding tube today and I guess it won't be long now. I would like to go see him, but he's in Oregon and I also feel kind of strange because, although we've spoken sometimes on the phone and seen each other a few times throughout the years we haven't been in touch as much as I would have liked. We never fought or had disagreements - its just that it always seemed like we had tomorrow, or next week, or next month to do all that catching up. At least for me it felt like that, but I am now reminded not to wait until tomorrow to reach out to a friend :verysad:

Then, on top of that bad news, a person who used to be the driver for the attorney service we used to use at work just called. He was an older man and he was always so nice. The attorney service went out of business and I lost touch with all the people we used to work with. I knew that he had diabetes and I think he had to stop driving due to blindness. Well . . . today he called and said he's just calling anyone he can for help because he lost his job when the company went under and couldn't find anything else because of his health problems. Soon afterward he lost everything else and is now homeless. OMG - I am in tears over this. What in the world can I do for this man? he said he's called Christian and Jewish charities and all sorts of other places and he can't get help. I just want to curl up in a ball today and scream!!!!!!!!!

03-17-2009, 10:13 PM

03-18-2009, 02:21 AM
:hugs: Well I am not an expert but I am perty sure if he is blink he quallifises for SSI... But this is in the US you are in the US right.

Once he has SSI he can get into lot income housing and help with medson for his health problems...

*shrugs* I hate to sound cold but if faced with a problem look for an answer first and cry after there is nothing ledt to do life works better that way...

Of corse you might want to save time and do both at the same time...

*looks thoughtfull* Oh have no I am not a bitch just emoshenly numbe from severl bouts of represhen when I was a kid...

03-18-2009, 08:20 AM

03-18-2009, 12:35 PM
I called my other friend in Oregon last night. He was on his way to see Tamal (the old friend who is not well). He told me that 2 days after his graduation from college in June of last year he came down with a fever. First he didn't think much of it and then when he went to the doctor they apparently just treated him for the flu. Apparently, he was fine for quite a while and then a few months later he had a massive seizure and he was taken to the hospital where he was diagnosed with viral encephalitis. No one knows how he got it at all. My friend said one day he was laughing and enjoying life and the next he was in the hospital. The doctors induced a coma because the seizures were injuring his brain. Every time they tried to bring him out of the coma he would have another seizure. Eventually his brain was so damaged by all the seizures that his family was told that he would never regain cognitive ability. They moved him to a hospice a few days ago and have now removed his feeding tube. I've been told he is no longer in a coma but in a vegetative state. I'm sad that I just found out about it too. I guess everyone held out hope until these last few weeks and now everyone is being notified.

I just cried and cried last night. He had finally graduated from college!!! This all happened 2 days after graduation. Its so awful!!!! I remember the last time I saw him he had just gotten out of the Army. I asked him once why he decided to go into the Army. He said he didn't want to just "hang out" in the same ol neighborhood with the same ol people going nowhere. And then he went on to college and finally graduated - with honors too!!!! How awful to now have it all taken away by some strange virus :cry:

Denise in Michigan
03-18-2009, 01:47 PM
My heart goes out to you, Evona! I don't have any suggestions, only sympathy and prayers for your pain.

03-18-2009, 03:12 PM
:hug: My husband has a cousin who contracted this disease when she was in grade one. The doctors put in shunts, aggressively treated the virus, and took all measures to save her life.

She is now 19 but has lived her life, since grade 1 on a feeding tube and in what most consider a vegetative state. Early on in the disease we could get her to giggle, but that is rare now. Her 4 younger sisters, father and mother love her dearly and have done amazing things to bring life to their sister and she experiences things I never have! Like rafting down rivers in the States. Yet we have no clue what/if any of it means anything to her!

Anyhow, I write this because there is likely something the doctor could do to prolong his days here on earth... and at some level its something you want to grasp and pull for... and on the other hand even then his life is likely gone...

Blessings to you as you mourn the loss of your friend and the person whom you knew and counted as friend. Seeing such pain, loss of life, and what seems a cruel irony can really do a number on yourself. Take care! Yes, treasure the today :hug:

03-20-2009, 10:17 PM
Oh, Evona. :hug:

03-21-2009, 04:07 AM
I'm sorry about your friend, it's so hard not to be able to help someone.

Evona, my husband and I are both on disability (SSDI) and if the former driver goes to the Social Security Office, he'll get SSDI right away. Blindness is one situation where they don't argue, or force you to get an attorney.

My husband has MS (as I've written many times, I know) but it took him 2.5 years and an expensive attorney to get help. I have multiple rheumatoid factors, it took just three months. What he needs is lots of paperwork from doctors that he's seen.

03-23-2009, 06:30 PM
Thank you everyone for your warm thoughts and advice. I got an update on my friend (Tamal) and the hospice is making sure he is kept very comfortable. They are keeping me posted and we are going to have a memorial after he passes away. At least he is being kept very comfortable.

03-23-2009, 11:31 PM
Oh Evona, I'm so sorry...I wish I had the words....You're all in my thoughts :hug: