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-   -   get out of my house!! a very long venting. (http://www.knittinghelp.com/forum/showthread.php?t=101120)

Breezed 10-15-2010 04:46 PM

get out of my house!! a very long venting.
 
I am really upset at the Florida tenant laws right now. My boyfriend and I own our home and we do live in it. We let his 25 yr old brother move in obviously with no lease because we thought he had matured and he only has 2 semesters of college left, after lying, dropping, failing, and now in school for 6 years. How stupid of us to fall for his act. Oh and his mother still pays his rent because he doesn't have a job and barely ever even attempts to find one. Anyway, the point is he now lives with us and just barely 3 months in and he is disrespectful to our home, our belongings, and us directly. If we even so much as ask him to lower his voice, turn the TV down, or keep up with small agreed upon chores, he blows up and goes into what I call his victim mode. I could whisper it to him and he accuses us of yelling and treating him badly and now claims his living conditions are poor. WHAT?! He really believes he is the victim of everything negative that occurs in his life. He can't comprehend he is the cause of at least most of it. Today was the last we could take, after a confrontation a few night ago we thought was settled until out of the blue he starts text messaging my bf at work about how badly he is treated. My bf tried to be calm and nice but it just wasn't working. My bf is a fireman and this is not the kind of conversation/confrontation he needs while on duty for nearly 48 hours now. We've had enough so we told him 30 days and he needs to be out. He continued to send inappropriate text messages that were just his lies in his head. My boyfriend then said fine, make it 15 days and be out. Well he said he's calling the cops on us because that is illegal. I did call the non-emergency police number today and funny (not really) enough unless he is physically harming one of us, we can't do anything, nothing! until we give him 30 days notice and then if he doesn't leave, we have to file eviction and pay for it ourselves to have it recorded and then he has 3 days to vacate. Pay a little more to serve official papers, and then some more for a sheriff if he has to be physically removed and if he fights it, court and again pay more. The cost goes on and on. Wow. This is MY home.

WHY do homeowners have so little rights to evict a room mate. He has no lease. There was no obligation on either side. This isn't a residence that we rent to a random tenant but our own home where we have to live, now very uncomfortably, very high tension, and with accusations that are just not true or valid, etc. I told my bf about 1.5 months ago I felt trapped in my own home and limit myself to one room when his brother is home just to avoid any further problems. I called and researched online all day today and I get the same answer....I have NO rights unless this person is in the process of or has physically assaulted me which he hasn't and I would never claim otherwise.
I really hope he's just bluffing and doesn't make us go through this because we will do it at any cost to get him out of our home.
I can't talk on the phone to anyone about this for fear he will overhear me and start a new confrontation. I don't really have anywhere to go either. Just to make the few calls I did, I had to walk the dog down the street. This is ridiculous.

Sorry for venting so much, I hope it's ok. I just needed to let loose and get it out into space. I thank anyone that suffers reading through my mess!

Now I can stop screaming silently in my own head.

N0obKnitter 10-15-2010 05:12 PM

OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111 what a horrible situation, and #$%$% what an immature, spoiled little jerkwad he is! I say, make things uber unpleasant for him. Do not feed him. Do not leave food for him to eat, use up all the hot water when you shower and I dunno do whatever it is he hates so he says "screw this, I'm leaving!" then when he leaves, get the locks changed and NEVER let him move back in. :)

Doublereeder2 10-16-2010 04:16 PM

At the 30th day, maybe your BF can get some of his colleagues to come and help move out the brother's stuff while changing the locks AND getting a restraining order.....

artistatlarge101 10-16-2010 07:44 PM

I understand the part about getting someone out of the house. We had to do that many years ago. We had a rental house. When the legal tenant moved out he left someone that had moved in with him (not on the lease) in the house. We did not know someone else was living there. We had to go through all the legal things you are referring to and the expense to remove this person who should not have been there in the first place. This was California law....sounds the same. Hopefully your situation will not come to that.

Sorry for the problems you are having.............it helps to vent...........take care!

cftwo 10-18-2010 11:14 AM

I'm sorry you're going through this. Just document, document, document and wait out the 30 days. These laws are probably in place because of bad landlords (imagine being a good tenant and having your landlord decide out of the blue that s/he didn't want to rent any more, or wanted to rent to a relative) and you're unfortunately caught in the middle.

Make sure you document everything, including any damage that he's done, and treat it like a legal case. And next time, even with a relative, have a signed lease that spells out responsibilities and consequences.

In the meantime, do everything you can to (nicely) help him find a new place to live. I bet the increased privacy and lack of restrictions and nagging will be great selling points.

Sunshine's Mom 10-18-2010 11:27 AM

Does his mother know of this situation with him? How disrespectful he is, etc? Have you consulted a lawyer? I would suggest that first.

I don't really understand this. It's not as if he has a separate apartment on your property. I don't understand why you can't just put his stuff in a storage unit and change the locks. This is a family matter not a tenant/landlord issue.

I'm sure his mother doesn't want him in her house which is why she is happy to pay his rent. But if she is on your side, why not get her more involved. She can stop paying the rent or she can pay the storage unit fee for him. Once he's out physically and the locks are changed, if he was to call the cops on you, what's to stop you from saying, "No officer, he never lived here, I don't know what he's talking about."

He sounds like he needs medication. Maybe his brother can get him to the doctor.

I'm sorry for your troubles. You can vent here anytime.

kmaclean 10-19-2010 11:40 AM

That really sucks!

I agree that it seems like more of a family issue to me rather than a landlord/tenant one, but I suppose you want to be careful. At least you can be grateful that you don't live in Ontario ... you would have been stuck with him twice as long as you would have had to give him 60 days notice! :teehee:

MMario 10-19-2010 12:24 PM

Have you checked with anyone re: kickout out FAMILY?

In some states, even if you pay rent, you are not legally a tenant if you are an immediate family member - and thus have no legal rights AS a tenant.

Michaele 10-20-2010 09:34 AM

I'm really sorry this is happening. It always sucks to put your trust in someone only to find out that they didn't deserve it. But were you stupid or naive to want to give the brother a second chance? I don't think so. Because it could've been very well that he had changed. I can only hope that one day he realize his error and apologizes to you and yours.

Breezed 10-25-2010 01:37 PM

Thanks for the kind works and encouragement everyone. Luckily, he has "started" moving out to his gf's and has removed most of his stuff. He shows up once a week to get a couple boxes but it'll soon be over. He will definitely be out by the end of the 30 days as he has completed an official address change form and just lost his rights. He has no claim that he lives here now.


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