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-   -   Rude or not rude (http://www.knittinghelp.com/forum/showthread.php?t=65648)

stitchwitch 09-12-2007 03:56 PM

Rude or not rude
 
My husband turned 50 in March, my parents sent a card, no gift, no money. We were totally cool with that, they are retired and to be honest we didn't expect them to do anything.
I turned 40 this past Saturday, my parents sent a card and I expected it to be the same thing as when my husband's birthday came around except this time my mom stuffed a $40.00 check in the card. I could tell my husband felt a little odd, not necessarily at the gift aspect because we don't need the money but at the fact that my parents send me money and not him. I feel weird too, in my opinion it's kind of rude. Thoughts. :hmm:

sinistral_needler 09-12-2007 04:00 PM

Well, is this a normal birthday gift from your parents or did they send you the gift knowing that your DH's parents didn't send a gift? Do the sets of parents have a history of being competitive against each other?

I would say don't take it too seriously and enjoy a nice dinner out with DH.

Edit: Oops, I misread the post. I would say that since you turned the big 4-0, that is really why they sent the check, since it can be a bit of a milestone birthday! :)

Mariblue 09-12-2007 04:02 PM

Have they sent presents/checks to him in the past?
I'd have a nice dinner out with the hubbie, too. :hug:

kemp 09-12-2007 04:02 PM

I don't really think that's out of line (since you're their daughter). I'm sure they didn't intend for it to be insulting or rude to your DH...probably didn't even occur to them that it could be taken the wrong way.

stitchwitch 09-12-2007 04:06 PM

Hubby's parents are deceased so no rivalry there.
They have sent money and gifts to me occasionally, but never hubby or at least not for years.
I was thinking of just going out to dinner with it, that way it won't be so weird.

Sharly 09-12-2007 04:07 PM

I wouldn't be too offended by it...naturally, your birthday is more meaningful to them ;) - don't let little things like this affect your relationship with your parents. You won't have them for forever...

Mariblue 09-12-2007 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stitchwitch (Post 959318)
Hubby's parents are deceased so no rivalry there.
They have sent money and gifts to me occasionally, but never hubby or at least not for years.
I was thinking of just going out to dinner with it, that way it won't be so weird.

Well, than I would say that it's normal for them, and I wouldn't worry. Just share it with your hubby, it'll all work out. :thumbsup:

iza 09-12-2007 04:23 PM

It's not that strange to me either. You are their daughter, it makes sense if they're on a limited budget to give you a gift and not your husband.

However, I'm not a gift-oriented person AT ALL. I way prefer to do an activity with family and friends than buy a gift for a specific occasion. There's always so much politics around gifts... I hate it! :zombie: And it defeats the whole purpose! :shrug:

PurlyGyrl 09-12-2007 04:47 PM

I am with the others--not too strange since YOU are their daughter--maybe they didn't think (parents have a way of doing that you know ;)) Or maybe since it was a milestone birthday-40-and they sent your 40 bucks, maybe they thought they were being clever. :mrgreen:

marykz 09-12-2007 05:09 PM

my Dad always says I owe my Mom a gift on my birthday- without her, I wouldn't have one!!! LOL!

but seriously- that is status quo here: I get cards and small gifts from in laws, more meaningfull stuff from my folks. the DH gets meaningfull stuff from his parents, and mine give him cards and a starbucks gift card.

just my 2 cents.


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