I'm sorry you are going through all this. All I can say is he should help more and I don't know how you can put up with it. I feel very fortunate in that I have a wonderful husband who helps with everything.
But one comment;
...he tells my oldest which is my 15 yr old son who could not boil a cup of water to fix something.
Don't let your 15 y/o or your other boys turn out the same. Men are more often than not taught their behavior by their parents. In fact look at how your husbands parents conduct their lives...it might look familiar.
Bring the boys into the kitchen to help cooking along with the girls. If this is successful you will have some new helpers. My 13 year old son can fix a simple dinner and help with parts of more complicated dinners. He can unload a dishwasher and sort of load one, he's been learning to do laundry too. He vacuums also. He doesn't do these things perfectly but he does them! I consider this essential training for adulthood. My brothers were similarly taught to do household things....and it's a good thing too. One of my brothers works full time, his wife is schizophrenic and unable to work. She also does very little around the house d/t her illness, so he pretty much does it all plus he has to deal with her erratic behavior. They have no children but he has difficulties similar to yours.
I hope things get better and you get a break.