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I don't know if you've tried this....
but have you done the chore list thing? as in, "i need you to do these things for me....here's a list". I know, this is stupid, he's a grown man, yada yada....but, until my DH got the hang of it....the list worked. I never made it too long...but i did put in "enough"....
having said that...at night, i now offer options..."do you want to do the kitchen floor or fold clothes". it seems to work. Your kids are also old enough to help...my 14 year old clears the table and does the dishes after dinner. my six year old is in charge of feeding the dogs, things like that....
and oh yeah, i've lowered my expectations. my house no longer looks as if it could be in house beautiful <grin>, but we're all happy.
Hang in there.....try to get some time to yourself.
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