I also suffered in my early 40's. I went on low estrogen birth control for several years until I lost my health insurance. The symptoms went away for about 5 years and then came back with a vengeance. Hot flashes and weepiness and the worst was lack of sleep. Once I had finished cycling for 6 months I was prescribed progesterone and it is working wonders.
Work with your doctor to see what works for you, everyone is different.
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